25. Rowan

Chapter 25

Rowan

“ T here you two are,” Kai's ice blue eyes sweep over us like glacial shards. He is dressed as he always is, in a black uniform with knives sheathed all along his lithe body, the dust and grime of the outdoors somehow making him look even more primal and attractive than usual. A few paces from him, Logan stands with his hands in his pockets, his forever unruly raven hair whipping in the wind. He won’t meet my gaze.

“Ainsley, are you alright?” Kai asks curtly. Unlike Logan, he is surveying every inch of me with uncomfortable scrutiny. If I look half as exhausted and aching as I feel, then he’s probably seen drowned rats in better form.

“Define alright,” I reply.

“Alive with four functioning limbs.”

“I’m alright.”

“Good.”

“Glad to know your criteria.”

Kai turns to Kyrian, who is slicking a strand of sweat soaked hair off his face. We are both still hot from the climb, but the cutting wind promises to steal the warmth from us shortly. Kai jerks his head toward the d ownwind side of the summit. “We need to talk. Untie your leash.”

“I take it I’m not invited?” I say, trying to hide the tinge of hurt behind summoned bravado. Despite all evidence to the contrary—not to mention common sense—I had somehow deluded myself into thinking they considered me one of them now.

“Not unless you became a squad leader while I wasn’t watching,” says Kai. I guess it’s not really a normal day without Grayson reminding me that he’s an ass.

Kyrian finishes untying the rope that connects him to my harness then sweeps me in with his arm, pulling me against his side possessively. “You should go enjoy your reward for getting up here,” he says against my hair then dips his face lower. His tongue dances along the seam of my lips until I part them with a soft gasp. Kyrian’s kiss is soft and teasing, and sensual enough to make my toes curl in my boots. When he finally pulls back, our breaths still mingling in the mountain air, he grins mischievously. “And by reward I mean the other view.”

Taking my shoulders, he turns me to look out from the summit, which opens toward a truly breathtaking panorama that I’ve not been able to enjoy while scrambling up the stone for my life. Rugged snow-capped peaks stretch endlessly into the distance, the valleys between them carpeted in evergreen forests and threaded with icy blue rivers that catch the sun like strands of diamonds. Sheer granite cliffs drop away mere feet from where I stand, plunging hundreds of feet to the valley floor below.

I take a sensible step back away from that.

“Kyrian,” Kai orders.

Giving my shoulder a tight squeeze, Kyrian steps away to talk with our commanding officer, leaving Logan and me in uncomfortable silence.

Logan shifts his weight from foot to foot in response, his gaze flicking between Kyrian and me before settling on a point just over my left shoulder. There's a tightness around his mouth that wasn't there earlier .

“So.” I say, not bothering to make it a question. I have zero doubt that Kai has already filled Logan in on whatever command details he is now discussing with Kyrian. And truthfully, I don’t care very much. I know as well as they do that my mountaineering prowess isn’t going to aid in decision making. But I have a sinking feeling that more is happening over there.

“You want to tell what’s happening?” I ask Logan. Not that I particularly want to be talking to him right now, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“No, I think I’m good,” he says, his hands shifting inside his pockets.

“How about you talk anyway.”

He cuts a glare at Kai, then to Kyrian’s hardening jaw. “Grayson is going to send Kyrian off solo.”

Logan’s words rattle around in my head, not quite finding a place to settle. Logan has to be wrong. There’s no logical reason for Kyrian to be pulled away. Not when he’s gotten me this far. “Why would he do that?” I ask.

“The storm did a number on the trails,” Kai says walking back, Kyrian trailing unhappily in his wake. “The third waypoint was five days away before, but the terrain has just gotten exponentially more dangerous. You can’t go. Kyrian will take care of it alone, while you, Logan and I return to the Spire. We’ll check you into one of the points closest to the safeground and get you back.”

“The third waypoint just became exponentially more dangerous, but you want Kyrian to still go?” I enunciate the words for the absurdity they are. “Alone. Are you insane?”

“It’s what the mission calls for,” says Kai.

“Fuck the mission.”

“I think that’s been taken care of already,” Kai says, glancing between Kyrian and me.

My blood chills. Is this… is this because of what Kyrian and I did together? Was this some territorial horseshit, with Kai pissing in the corners even though he’d discarded me the one time he touched my mouth ?

I turn to Kyrian, my heart suddenly pounding with dread. "You can't go alone to a place that even that suicidal moron considers too dangerous. Please. Tell him you won’t do it.”

Kyrian winces and takes my hands in his, his skin rough and warm against my own. "I have to, chaos. Grayson is right, it’s what the mission calls for.”

"But why?" I search his face, trying to find an answer that will make this okay. Something to indicate that all those things he’d said to me, about not going anywhere, and staying with me and earning my trust, weren’t just a bunch of complaisant lies. "Why does it have to be you?”

"Because he's the best climber," Kai cuts in, his voice hard as flint.

“Logan wants nothing more than to galavant around the woods alone, so why not him?” I demand.

Logan drops his head. Because he is embarrassed? Ashamed? Uncomfortable at being called out for the truth? Doesn’t matter. I’m not saying anything that he’s not demonstrated in deed.

Kyrian pulls me toward his chest, but I yank my hands out of his hold. He flinches but doesn’t force the touch. “Chaos, listen to me?—”

“No. I think I’m quite through listening to you. To all of you. I mean what’s the point when what you say changes all the time anyway?”

Kyrian puts his hands on his head interlacing his fingers as he tilts his face up to the sky. As if he is the one who is frustrated. “Things aren’t as straightforward as I wish they were, Ro. We aren’t out here on a pleasure hike -”

I stiffen when he says pleasure and he curses under his breath.

“What I mean is that we have a mission. We don’t have a choice. The route has just turned deadly and I’m the one with the best chance of navigating it safely.”

“It’s a training mission. You want to risk your life for what? To put a piece of paper into a metal box? What’s going to happen if no one checks-in there? We’ll lose points? Get punished? You won’t get some top order of merit list spot and lose a choice assignment? All of that is better than you being dead. So don’t tell me that there is no choice. I’m asking that you chose to fucking live.”

“I’m going to live, Rowan,” Kyrian says, his face desperate. “Trust me. I’m going to be fine.”

There are so many things wrong with that statement that I don’t even bother acknowledging having heard it.

“He is right about one thing,” Kai says, stepping between us as shadows slip from him, winding around his ankles like a cats. “He doesn’t have a choice. I do. And I have made it. Kyrian, you have your orders. Move out. Logan, figure out whatever weaving they had going with the ropes to ensure Ainsley doesn’t break her neck on the way down. Now, everyone.”

Kyrian gives me one last besieging look, which I ignore, then shoulders his pack and disappears down the other side of the mountain, leaving me with Logan and Kai for company.