Chapter 23

23

I never really thought deeply about the dreams I had, knowing I would forget them soon after I woke anyway. Typically, I could recall only a small tidbit about any dream, but even that sliver of memory would quickly fade if I didn't intentionally remember it.

This dream, however, would be seared into my brain forever.

It included me and Noah Lawrence cuddling in his bed, something I was sure could never and would never occur in real life. Yet, I wanted to stay asleep just a little longer to enjoy the bliss of it.

I could catalog the way his scent wrapped around me more comfortably than the blanket that covered us, the way his leg wove between both of mine and his arm bracketed my waist against his. I could memorialize the way his chin tucked the top of my head against his chest, the way his inhales and exhales synced with my own. There was an overwhelming feeling of rightness and safety within his arms that had no explanation.

Very few dreams made me want to linger in the realm of the unconscious, but I couldn't say I'd ever enjoyed one quite so much.

"Are you awake?" Noah whispered in my ear, and I shook my head. Of course, I wasn't awake. I didn't want or need to wake up from this dream.

His chuckle vibrated against my chest, arm tightening around my waist.

I'd possibly never had a dream so realistic, and I wondered if Noah's arms around me would actually feel this wonderful. I snuggled back against him, trying to soak up the feeling as much as I could before reality woke me up.

"I think our anti-potion had an undesired side effect," Noah whispered, his breath hot on my ear. "Though I can't say I hated it. That might have been the best sleep of my life."

"And this is the best dream of my life. Don't ruin it," I responded quickly, meaning every word.

And then, I froze.

It took only one second longer for my brain to fully realize the words I'd audibly spoken and that they were, in fact, not spoken in a dream. The sound of my voice was too real, and suddenly, the sensation of Noah touching me was too real as well.

My eyes flew open, and I recognized the silky sheets I laid on. Sunlight poured through the curtains that neither of us pulled last night before we'd both somehow fallen asleep together. Cuddling.

"I have no intentions of ruining this dream, Henri." Noah's voice was so sincere, I couldn't force myself to inhale. The second I moved would be the second this all became one hundred percent real, and I wanted to live in denial for just a moment longer.

The arm around my waist, the chest against my back, and the leg wedged between both of mine were indeed real, and I wasn't sure I even fully comprehended that. I raced through my memory, trying to determine exactly how we got here. Oddly, my normally perfect memory was failing me.

The four of us—Noah, Ivy, Remy, and myself—had all gone to the pub together and were joined by a plethora of other students from Forrestbriar. I had a few shots, though certainly not enough to make me black out. Maybe someone drugged one of my drinks? I waded through my thoughts, recalling that I danced with Ivy for a few minutes, but I couldn't remember a single thing after that.

"What happened?" I whispered, half-terrified to know the answer.

"Honestly, my memory is pretty foggy too," Noah answered, moving the hand wrapped around my waist to pull hair out of my face. It was such a gentle gesture, I nearly melted out of my stiff stance.

Just like I would with a dream I couldn't remember, I pulled at the tattered threads of memory from last night, hoping to remember even the slightest bit of how I'd gone from dancing with Ivy to waking up in Noah Lawrence's bed. With Noah.

"The potion," I whispered, horror seeping into my bones. "The love potion."

Noah jolted, half-sitting up on his side to look down at me. He nodded, as if encouraging me to continue my line of thought. His expression was unreadable.

"We used our anti-potion!" I said with both excitement and horror.

I tried to school my facial expression, but there was no use. I looked at Noah with fear on my face, completely floored that I'd needed my dose of the anti-love potion—needed it to prevent me from hitting on Noah.

Had he realized that was what had happened?

"It actually worked, Henri." His face held a look of victory, and he didn't even seem concerned with the fact that I'd been all over him.

I giggled at the realization, any embarrassment momentarily forgotten. It wasn't even that I'd needed the potion to keep off him.

"It did seem to have an unwanted side effect," I said through my laughter.

"Sure, but that was some of the best sleep I've ever had," he repeated. Noah laid back down, cinching his arm back around me like it was routine. "Wouldn't mind staying right here for the rest of the day." His voice was low and full of gravel that had my spine tingling.

I stopped breathing. There were no further thoughts that went through my mind, and I wondered if the anti-potion fried every brain cell I had, because there was no way that was actually what Noah just said.

After a prolonged silence, Noah spoke again, breath heavy against my neck.

"Do you want to talk about how you actually needed it?" His voice held no mocking tone, only gentleness. His hand moved to drawing lines on my side, and I forced myself to suppress a shiver.

Drawing a slow breath, I said, "I'd rather not."

More silence ensued until Noah simply pressed a kiss against the conjunction of my neck and shoulder. Then, he rolled away from me, his absence chilling my body.

"Whenever you're ready, we can talk about it." His weight left the bed, and I heard the bedroom door open and close.

Finally, I released a massive breath I'd been holding, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling.

Perhaps we would just let the less favorable notes from last night pass by and focus on the fact that we'd gotten the potion right.

But I would have to wrestle with accepting that I'd been affected, and Noah was the object of my desires.

Though mortification gripped me because my infatuation with him seemed to be known, I wasn't ashamed exactly. He was incredibly handsome, intelligent, and ambitious, which were all excellent qualities. We'd been at each other's throats many times, competed for top spots, raced to finish projects before the other, and been in every other kind of academic competition another imaginable. Yet, even after eight years, we worked together like a well-oiled machine.

I could finally see through his pretentious fa?ade and past all the outward things I'd always claimed to hate, things I knew nothing of—like his family and their reputation, the way he always had the nicest things and cars.

But none of that affected his character. He didn't seem to care about it past the surface level.

Over the last few weeks, it had become obvious he cared about his future career and how he could make a difference. Yes, he seemingly only joined me in creating an anti-potion for his own sake, but his real intent was to protect whoever it was he was enamored with. He wanted to protect them from his affections, which he seemed to think they wouldn't want.

I found myself saddened by that thought. He was a gentleman, and wickedly, I wanted his affections all to myself. Waking up in his bed with his arms wrapped around me only solidified that thought in my mind.

Shoving my face into his pillow, I wanted to scream at the tragedy of it all. Henrietta Baker, falling for her only rival, her truest enemy-and with no hope of that feeling being returned.

"I'm going to call a cab to head back to campus," I announced as I walked into the living room where Noah was scrolling through a streaming service. He immediately stood, crossing the room to me. His green eyes gave me a once-over, noting the dress from last night that I was wearing again.

"That's nonsense. I can take you back if you need to go, but you're welcome to stay with me here all day. Probably going to order food and watch movies."

I wanted to, I really did. But after everything that happened last night, I didn't know how awkward it would be between us. Did Noah now feel weird knowing that I fancied him? Would it change the nature of our partnership?

Would I act weird knowing my affections wouldn't be reciprocated? Or would spending unnecessary time with him just make me long for him even more?

"You can take days off from studying, you know." Noah's mouth turned up in a smirk, and I couldn't help the spark that lit in my chest.

"Not if I'm going to beat you for best marks." I lifted my chin in defiance. "And midterms are next week."

"I think you'll manage that, even without studying all day today. I'm sure you've been studying in every spare breath you've had." He took a step closer, having to tilt his head down to keep eye contact with me. "Come on, let's order something. I'll drive you back to campus after the first movie if you want."

Rolling my eyes at him, I followed him to the couch. This was seemingly normal, though we'd never just lazed on his couch and watched movies. This was something friends did regularly, and I supposed we were friends now, given everything we'd done together.

I settled into the couch a healthy distance away from him, as though another love potion could strike us here in his flat and take me victim. Noah side-glanced at me before putting on an action movie I'd never heard of, and we fell into comfortable, silent companionship.