Chapter 7

MINA

"Later, Doc." Gianni walked Doctor Ryan out the door before sitting on the side of the bed. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah." I slid under the lightest of the blankets.

The doctor, he'd introduced himself as Oliver, was clearly shocked at what he saw, but he'd been professional. He checked my heart, blood pressure and ankle where the strap dug into the skin. Apart from needing a dose of antibiotics, a tetanus booster, and going easy on food, he said I was in remarkably good health. Physically anyway.

"That's the hard part out of the way," Gianni said. "Now you can focus on the other shit."

"Finding Kurt" I tucked my legs close to my body. "And anyone who worked with him."

"Did you ever see anyone there in the company of that asshole?" Gianni cocked his head at me.

"Saw, no," I said. "I heard them upstairs, but he never brought anyone down." I remembered a haze of faces from before the basement, but not once I was down there.

"Doesn't mean they didn't know about you," he said thoughtfully, but with a hint of anger. "We'll find them and we'll find out. And have some fun in the process." He rubbed heavily inked hands together.

I shrugged one shoulder. "I just want to find Kurt. Him and anyone else who knew and didn't do anything." I was happy for them to hang beside him.

"In my line of work, I see some shitty things," Gianni said. "This pretty much tops all of that. If there were other people in on what he did to you, that's even more fucked up. We're not known for being nice to each other, but when innocent women are involved, that makes me mad."

I pulled the blankets tight around myself. "Has it ever crossed your mind I might not be innocent?"

He chuckled. "Everyone is innocent if you look at them from the right angle."

"Even you?" I shifted uncomfortably. Between the softness of the bed, wearing clothes and the blanket, everything felt suffocating. I was tempted to throw everything off and sleep on the floor, but I had to regain some kind of normal. To me, that meant sleeping in a bed, with covers over me.

"Asking the big questions, I see," he teased. "In some ways I'm innocent. And by that I mean I'm not always guilty. Damon on the other hand…"

I forced myself to stop fussing and lie still. "What about him? He seems nice enough."

"For a mobster?" Gianni asked with another chuckle. "He's a good guy if he's on your side. If he's not, he's good at fucking people up. The best part, he's good at making people think he's on their side until it's too late." He made a slicing gesture across his throat.

"So I should be careful around him?" I asked. Truthfully, being around so many people was already overwhelming, and it was only three of them. Four if you counted Terry. I'd be more than careful.

Gianni rubbed his chin. "Good question. Damon is dangerous, but no more than Reuben. The difference is, if Damon double crossed you, he'd have me and Reuben to answer to. Does that mean he won't? If he does, he's going to cover his tracks pretty fucking well. There'd have to be a helluva payday in it from someone else, for him if he did that. So yeah, be careful, but don't be afraid to give him your trust either. He's one of the most loyal people I know."

"If he's loyal to you, then you're loyal to him," I said slowly. "What's to stop both of you from turning on me?"

"The fact I'm not an asshole," he said. "I don't hurt women unless I have to."

"Unless Reuben tells you to," I said.

"I've been known to disregard his orders when they go against my moral compass," Gianni said. "Yes, I have one. It mostly points north."

"So you keep turning until it suits you," I said.

He grinned. "Something like that. I've never been the kind of person to follow blindly. Reuben would have to have a very good reason for me to lay a hand on a woman before I'd consider it."

"Like what?" I was getting sleepy, but this was the most interesting conversation I'd had in years, and the least painful. I wasn't ready for it to end yet.

"Like being complicit in handing her daughter to a monster." His expression darkened. "Standing by and letting it happen. Knowing what was going on and saying nothing. Caring more about her own ass than her children."

I pushed the end of the blanket aside with my feet and lay with them sticking out. "You think my mother did that?"

He shrugged. "No way to know now. But if she did, she's the kind of exception I'm happy to deal with."

"How?" I asked. "What could you do that wouldn't make you as bad as Kurt?"

"I don't lay a hand on innocent women." He glanced down towards my bare feet.

"Which brings us back to people being innocent." Uncomfortable, I slid my feet back under the covers. "My mother might have been innocent of what you're suggesting. My siblings didn't know, she also might not."

"I hope she didn't." He looked back at my face. "Because that would be a really shitty thing to do."

He was quiet for a moment before jerking up straighter so suddenly I flinched.

"Sorry, sweetheart. It just occurred to me to ask if you wanted to hear some of your brother's music." He pulled his phone out of the back of his trousers. He knelt down beside the bed and tapped the screen to load a video. Holding it sideways, he turned the screen around to face me.

I read the text beside the video. "Wolf… Venom?"

"That's the name of the band. Look, here's where they come on stage."

I squinted at the screen. I recognised Zeke Brantley, who walked to the front of the stage where the microphone was set up. Behind him I caught a glimpse of blonde hair. My heart skipped a beat as my brother slipped behind his drums and picked up his sticks.

The rest of the band took their places. A couple of them looked familiar, but I couldn't put names to faces.

On some cue I couldn't see, they started to play. All of my attention was on Asher, who grinned as he played. He grooved at the same time, looking like he was thoroughly enjoying himself. Of course he did, he'd always enjoyed making music. And life in general. He was the one who should have been nicknamed Sunshine, not me.

"They're not bad, are they?" Gianni asked. "They're one of the biggest bands in the world right now. Living their best life and touring all over the place."

"They're a bit…loud," I said.

They finished playing and Gianni turned off the phone. "That's what Reuben always says too. That they're loud. He prefers his music soft and in the background. If he listens to it at all."

That definitely sounded like Reuben. I couldn't picture him rocking out to music like that.

"What about you?" I asked. "What kind of music do you like?"

"I like it louder than Wolf Venom." He tapped his phone against his knee. "There's a space under the house where we put people when we want to get information from them. It's soundproof. I like to go in there and turn up some metal as loud as it will go. Especially if I'm working with someone in there." He grinned. "When I've had enough of metal, I put on some Carrie Underwood. Or Abbie Hart."

"I've never heard of the second one," I said.

"You're in for a treat." He tapped on his phone again and held it in his palm until a song started.

From the first note, I couldn't contain my reaction. I all but leaped out from under the blanket, threw myself away from the sound and landed on the hard floor with a thump.

"Shit." The song was immediately silent. He jumped up and hurried around the bed to crouch in front of me.

I lay on the floor, pressed hard against the wall, curled up in the smallest ball I could manage. Every millimetre of me was trembling. I couldn't make it stop.

The world was folding in on me, pressing in hard, making it more and more difficult to breathe. My head was spinning, my stomach turning again. I had to swallow to keep from losing what little I'd eaten.

"I'd understand that reaction to some music, but…" Gianni looked confused and concerned. "If I thought you'd hate it that much, I wouldn't have played it."

He spoke lightly, but he knew as well as I did the song wasn't the problem. That was just the trigger. He was at a loss as to what to say to settle my racing thoughts.

I shook my head, my trembling so bad my teeth were chattering.

"What the hell is going on?" Reuben demanded from the doorway. His footsteps were heavy as he made his way into the room. Commanding attention and making me shrink in further.

"Sorry boss, I freaked her out," Gianni said. "I'm not sure what happened." He looked straight at me, brow furrowed, trying to figure out how to respond to me and to Reuben. That he blamed himself was clear from the expression on his eyes. He was worried he'd fucked up somehow and pushed me over the edge.

I needed to explain, to make them understand. Even if it made me sound like I was losing my mind. Who's to say I wasn't?

I sucked in a couple of rapid breaths, trying to put together the words as simply as I could.

"That song," I whispered. "It's Kurt's ringtone."

The moment I heard it, I was right back in the basement. Chained and scared. Terrified I woke up after all. I couldn't remember what happened after that. I just found myself on the floor, arms wrapped tight around myself, the hard floor a familiar comfort under me.

"Fuck, I had no idea," Gianni said. "I won't play it again. I'll even delete it from my phone." He held up his phone to do just that.

I closed my eyes and struggled back into my numb place. Shutting off everything and everyone around me. I wasn't in the basement, I was here. Safe, warm, clean and fed.

Get a fucking grip, I told myself.

"I'm okay," I said, half to myself. "I'm okay." My hands on the wall behind me, I pushed myself to my feet and sank back down to the bed. "If it's okay, I'd like to be alone now. Please."

"Of course," Reuben said. "We both have rooms just down the corridor. If you need anything." He waved for Gianni to precede him out the door.

Gianni stopped to give me another apologetic look before stepping out.

I slid back under the covers and pulled them up over my head. If I pulled them tight enough, maybe I could shut out the sound of the music that went around and around in my head.

I wasn't sleepy anymore. I was wide awake. With any luck, I might doze a little bit between now and dawn.

Kurt isn't here, I reminded myself. It was just a song. Just one song out of millions in the world. At least he hadn't chosen one of Asher's songs as his ringtone. That was the kind of fucked up shit he would have done, so he could laugh at the fact I had no idea.

I closed my eyes and willed my heart to stop beating so fast. I should never have freaked out so violently. I needed to be in better control of myself than that. I reminded myself that if I was, I wouldn't have ended up with Kurt in the first place. Somehow, I had to pull myself together, contain myself and keep my emotions and fears from getting the better of me.

I had to.