Chapter 23

MINA

I held my mug in both hands, half-watching the steam rise off my tea.

"That was a hell of a thing you did." I glanced over to Damon, who sat hunched over the table.

He shrugged one shoulder. "I knew the SUV was up to it." He sipped a drink which was more alcohol than coffee.

"You could have been wrong," I pointed out.

He looked back over to me and scoffed before turning back to his drink. "I wasn't."

"If you were, you'd be dead now. Or worse." I blew lightly on the steam and watched it dance away.

I hadn't been able to sleep, so I figured I'd come down here and have something that might relax me. It seemed he had the same problem.

"I'm sure you wouldn't have minded too much," he said. "If I was dead, I mean."

"It helped us to get out alive," I said lightly. Of course I didn't want him dead, or injured, but if he was going to play the grumpy asshole, I'd play along.

He turned back to me and smirked. "That's what's important. Princess Mina walking away unhurt."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, I'm no more a princess than you are. We both know why you did what you did."

He swivelled around and propped his elbow on the table. "Why don't you enlighten me? Don't try to paint me as some fucking hero."

"Why not?" I asked. "Is there something wrong with doing a brave thing? Whether or not you thought the SUV was up to smashing headfirst into another two cars, it's above your pay grade." I stopped and crinkled my brow. "You're right. Now I think about it, it was a dumbass move. You could have gotten yourself killed and wrecked a perfectly good car."

He arched an eyebrow at me.

"But you did it because you care," I said slowly. "Because, at the end of the day, this is a family. Reuben is more than a boss to you. Gianni is more than a co-worker. The twins too, I'm guessing." I sipped my tea and watched his expression.

"Could be," he said. "Or I'm a reckless dumbass who gets off on driving fast and smashing shit up."

"Maybe both," I said. "I didn't say you weren't a dumbass that cared."

He grunted. "You're making me out to be something I'm not. Someone had to do something and I did. That's all there was to it. Nothing fucking more and nothing fucking less."

"If you say so," I said lightly.

"I do say so." He turned away again.

"Why is it so difficult to accept that someone appreciates something you did?" I asked.

"Reuben told me you went off by yourself to kill the last of the attackers," Damon said, his voice low. "What did you do? Cut their throat like you did with that woman?"

My pulse sped up, blood thudding through my ears like it had when I walked through the darkness, hunting before I struck.

"Yes, I did. It was the quickest and cleanest thing I could do at the time. The most efficient."

"Why did you do it?" He turned back around to face me. "You could have let them come to you. Reuben or Gianni would have shot them. You didn't have to do a thing."

He was trying to bait me. To make me admit that I did what had to be done. As if somehow that would lessen what he did. I wasn't going to take it.

"I did it because I didn't want anyone else getting hurt," I said. "Because this is my family too."

"Even though you could have been killed," he said. "You don't think that was reckless?"

I didn't think that in the slightest. I knew what I was capable of. Dealing with one attacker who didn't see me coming was almost effortless.

"I wasn't thinking about myself," I said. "The same way you weren't thinking about yourself. We did what we had to do to protect the people we care about. They did the same for us."

He made an indeterminate sound in the back of his throat and picked up his drink to take a gulp. It looked like half of it went down in one swallow.

"You don't think they care about you?" I asked. "Because I can tell you, they do. Gianni will tell you that himself. Reuben is more…reserved. He doesn't trust easily, but he trusts you. Even when you're being a grumpy asshole. Which, as far as I can tell, is most of the time."

He responded with a side eye. "You think I should be more warm and fuzzy like Gianni or the twins? That's not who I am. No more than it is who you are. Not anymore."

He took in my look of surprise. "I met you before. At least, I was present. Reuben went to talk to your father and you came into the room. It was like the fucking sun rose in the middle of the night. But not anymore."

He might as well have taken a needle and stabbed me right in the heart with it. His aim was perfect, the target hit dead on.

"We all change," I murmured. "I had to grow up sometime. Even if Kurt wasn't?—"

"But he was," Damon interrupted. "Do you know why everyone bought the story about you running off to marry some nice guy and living in the suburbs? It wasn't because your father was convincing. It was because we thought it was the truth. Because a girl like you doesn't belong in this world. You should be baking birthday cakes for sweet little babies who grow up never knowing how to use a gun. You should be going to school plays and ballet recitals. Soccer games on Sunday morning and watching Disney movies a hundred times over.

"You shouldn't be sneaking around in the dark and cutting throats, or trying to find some asshole who locked you up in hell and tortured you until you became the shadow instead of the sunshine. I've seen some fucked up stuff in my day, but what he did to you is by far the worst. And to the person who deserves it the least."

For the first time in years, I found tears trickling down my cheeks. He was so wrong and so right at the same time. Everyone had the impression I was sweet and innocent, but it was a fa?ade. It was a role I played so well no one thought to look for me. No one thought anything bad could happen to that sweet girl.

"I'm not the sweet person you think I am," I managed to say.

His lips moved as he thought about how to respond to that. Finally he said, "Probably not. You know how to throw a knife and use a gun. You don't flinch when Reuben orders us to kill. It's possible that if it wasn't for Kurt, you would have become as jaded as me in time."

I stepped over to lower myself into the chair beside him. "It's also possible the girl you think you saw never existed. You've had years to build her up in your mind and make her something else."

"I know what I saw," he said with a grunt. "What I don't understand is why your father handed you over to that fucking prick. It was clear for everyone to see that he adored you. You were his favourite. His princess."

A knot in the table became absolutely fascinating for a minute or two. I focused on it and let his words rattle around in my brain.

"He had a debt," I said eventually. "He had to pay it."

"He had money," Damon insisted. "What could be so big or important that he had to give up his favourite daughter?"

"You might be wrong that I was his favourite," I suggested. "Have you met Rose? He adored her. And Dane and Asher. Just like tonight, he did what he had to do."

Damon shook his head. "I don't buy it."

"It doesn't matter whether you do or not," I said, sharper than I intended. I didn't want to break this fragile truce between us, but he couldn't keep pushing the way he was. I couldn't give him the answers he needed. Not tonight. No matter how much I wanted to tell him everything. I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't turn on me the moment I stepped foot out of the kitchen. Or before.

He sat back. "I guess it doesn't. " His stony expression was back in place. "All those years is enough time to trick myself into thinking someone is different to how they really are." He clearly didn't believe that either. If he did, that would mean questioning his own memory and judgement. In his line of work, that was a dangerous slope to get onto. One that was difficult to get off again alive.

"It's nice to know you were thinking of me," I said lightly. "I must have made quite the impression."

That wasn't the point he was making here, but I couldn't resist the gentle dig. It seemed as though he'd given me a lot of consideration over the years. Now I thought back, I remembered seeing him with Reuben. He was sullen and stayed in the background, much like he was now. Much like many of my father's visitors were.

He smirked. "Short skirt, cute tits, fuckable mouth, it's hard to forget. Don't flatter yourself too much, I just pictured you riding my dick, that's all."

I returned his smirk. "If you say so." That was not all and we both knew it.

Although, that may have been part of it. I was cute and confident back then. Happy and comfortable in my skin. As comfortable as anyone could be at eighteen.

Now— Calling me a shadow wasn't inaccurate. I was a shadow of my old self. If you showed me photos of me back then, I'd probably struggle to recognise myself. Especially if I compared them to my reflection in the mirror.

"You're still a distraction," he said.

"You're still an asshole," I retorted. If he wasn't going to give me a centimetre of leeway, then I wasn't giving him any either. Although, there wasn't as much animosity behind either of our words as there was before.

The sides of his mouth tugged up just a fraction. "Yes, I am. Don't forget it. I'm a reckless asshole who likes to drive too fast and smash perfectly good cars. I missed my calling. I could have done that professionally."

"I'm guessing this pays better," I said. "And you get to be surrounded by family."

"There are worse ways to live," he conceded. "Or die."

I raised my mug and toasted him. He raised his and tapped it against mine.

"I propose we don't die anytime soon," I said. "In fact, I refuse to die until I know Kurt is dead." However long that took, I didn't care. Until I saw him dead with my own eyes, I wouldn't fully relax, and I sure as hell didn't plan to die. After everything, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

Damon hummed. "That sounds like a good ambition to me. I think I'll do that too. Although, I might add Samuel Bell to that list. And maybe those daughters of his. They're a pair of snakes, both of them." He pressed his lips together and rolled them a couple of times.

I toasted him again, then took a sip. "To outliving our enemies."

He nodded and gulped down the rest of his drink. "With that goal in mind, I need to get some sleep before the actual sun rises."

I nodded and watched as he stood and stepped out of the kitchen.

I finished my tea and put the empty mugs in the sink. Now the adrenaline from the attack had finally subsided, I was exhausted. Hopefully enough to get some sleep myself.

With the house in silence, I slipped up the stairs and into my room.