Chapter 18

MINA

"Shit."

I followed Gianni into the kitchen in time to hear Damon on the phone. He looked pissed off. The moment he noticed me standing near the door, his expression closed down tight. He ended the call and lowered the phone from his ear.

"What is it?" Gianni asked. "Don't tell me they've sold out of your favourite brand of chocolate again?"

Damon gave him a look that would have withered anyone, but Gianni grinned.

"He's a real bitch when he doesn't get his chocolate," he whispered loudly.

"Fuck off," Damon told him. He glanced at Reuben, then at me.

"If it's about Kurt, she should hear it," Reuben said.

"I'm not sure if it is," Damon said. He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Someone matching his description just flew into Sydney from Hong Kong. It could be him or he could be completely unrelated."

A chill passed all the way through me. Was the room this cold a moment before? It felt icy right then.

Gianni raised a hand to touch my arm.

I flinched. I hadn't forgotten about Kurt, but I'd packed him into a box in my mind and pushed him aside for the last hour or so.

Now, Damon's words brought everything back in a rush. I knew I'd have to see Kurt in order to kill him, but the idea of being face-to-face with him, looking him in the eyes, him looking back at me with his usual contempt, made my stomach heave.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Gianni said gently. "You don't have to see him."

"It might not be him," Damon said. "The twins followed him to the location about twenty kilometres from here. They're keeping an eye on him. They'll let us know if he leaves."

Reuben nodded. "Get the car ready. We'll see for ourselves." His gaze lingered on me.

"I'm coming with you," I said firmly. "If it's him, I need to know. And if it's not, I want to know that too."

"If it is him, chances are he'll be ready for us," Damon said. Again, he looked at me, eyes unreadable.

"We won't let any harm come to her," Gianni said. "I won't let anything happen to her." He sounded ready to take on an army single-handed. "She can bring a couple of knives."

Reuben pressed his lips together, his blue eyes contemplative. "She can come with us. I'd prefer that to leaving her here."

Damon looked irritated, but turned on the heels of his leather shoes and stalked towards the garage.

"I'm guessing he didn't have his quota of chocolate today," Gianni remarked.

"I've never known him to eat chocolate," Reuben said.

Gianni nodded. "That's exactly my point. If he ate some once in a while, he might lighten up."

"Fuck off," Damon said over his shoulder.

"You know you love me," Gianni called out after him.

Without looking back, Damon flipped him off. He wrenched open the garage door and disappeared inside.

Reuben shook his head slightly and rolled his eyes before following Damon.

"Should you antagonise him like that?" I asked.

"Definitely," Gianni agreed. He made no move to touch me or step closer. "I meant what I said."

"About taking care of me, or about me bringing knives?" I asked.

He smiled. "Yes." He grabbed up the box we'd taken outside and tucked it under his arm. "Unless you'd prefer a gun."

"I can shoot." Of course I could. That was a skill we learned from an early age. Both my parents insisted. My father used to take us to the range to practice regularly. "But I prefer knives." They were easier to hide and quieter to use. Subtle and discreet. Until someone had the blade embedded in their brain.

"I sensed that about you," Gianni said. "I thought to myself, she doesn't seem like a gun person. Neither is Reuben. Don't get me wrong, he can shoot a man between the eyes from a distance, but he prefers to leave pulling of the trigger to people like me and Damon. And the twins."

That sounded about right. Why get your hands dirty when someone else could do it for you?

I walked behind Gianni to the garage. "Why do you think he came back?"

"Why does anyone do anything?" He opened the back door of the SUV and gestured for me to climb inside. "Unfinished business or money. People are often motivated by one or the other."

I slid in and he closed the door behind me.

"Or desperation." Damon drove the SUV out onto the streets which were surprisingly quiet for this time of day. Quiet enough to make me shiver again.

"Or for a good cup of coffee," Gianni added. "People can do a shit load of dubious things for one of those. Look at Damon, for example. You know he doesn't do this for the money. Not just for my attention either."

"Give the woman a knife so she can shut you up," Damon growled.

Gianni chuckled. "She'd never use a knife on me. Well, not unless I ask nicely." He glanced over at me and winked.

In spite of my anxiety at the idea of seeing Kurt again, my heart fluttered. Thinking about his cock, the way he came in my hand, and the kiss we shared, was a better use of my thoughts. A healthier one. I would have liked to focus on that, but Kurt was too dominant over my mind right now. I'd spent five years with him occupying my thoughts. It was a difficult habit to break. Was it impossible? I hoped not.

"Is that something you ask often?" I managed to ask. He'd mentioned enjoying pain, did that include knives and blood?

"Only if my partner is someone I implicitly trust," he said. "I'd prefer not to be stabbed mid-fuck if I can help it. A few nicks and slices, on the other hand…"

"If anyone was going to be stabbed mid-fuck, it would be you," Damon said.

"Are you offering?" Gianni asked.

"To stab you? Definitely." Damon glanced at the rear view mirror.

"He means with his cock," Gianni whispered loudly. "I told you he loves me."

"And I told you to fuck off, but here you are," Damon said.

I leaned forward as far as my seatbelt would allow and said to Reuben, "Are they always like this?"

They reminded me of the playful arguments my brother Asher had with Reuben's brother Zeke. They'd been friends since school, practically brothers. Thick as thieves, my mother used to say. When it came to each other, they had no filter. The nastier the words, the harder they laughed. I'd forgotten about that until now. Listening to them slinging insults back and forth always made me giggle.

He sat around to look back at me. "Probably. I tend to tune them out."

Gianni clutched his heart. "Boss, you wound me."

"You'll live," Reuben told him. He offered me the faintest of smiles.

"He really loves me too," Gianni said, lowering his hand back into his lap. "Obviously he does, or he wouldn't share you with me."

"Don't make me change my mind," Reuben said.

"That's up to Mina," Gianni said.

Reuben turned around further and gave him a look that said otherwise. That I belonged to him and he would decide on my behalf if anyone tried to force his hand.

"Like I said, she's a distraction," Damon said. "You two shouldn't be disagreeing over a woman. With all due respect, boss."

Reuben grunted and turned back around.

If I didn't already have the impression Damon didn't like me, I did after that comment.

Did he expect me to walk away from them both or for them to walk away from me? Maybe he thought they should cut my throat and leave me to die by the side of the road.

I eyed the box of knives. I could snatch a couple of them out there before Gianni could move a muscle. I could slice open his throat while he was still thinking about doing the same to me. His blood could coat my hand the way his cum had, thick and hot. I could watch the light fade from his dark eyes as his life slipped away. I could press my hand against his chest and feel the last of his heartbeats, before he fell still.

My hand twitched.

"If you're a distraction, I'm happy to be distracted," Gianni said softly. He was looking at me with half-lidded eyes, as though completely aware of the thoughts churning in my mind.

Of course he was. He acted silly at times, but it was a cover for the man underneath. He was clever, observant and read people the way Reuben read books. He hadn't lived as long as he had without knowing exactly what was going on with the people around him.

I folded my hands over each other. "I'm not a distraction. I'm just a woman trying to reclaim her life from a fucking monster."

I kept my voice low, but loud enough for everyone in the car to hear. Damon in particular. I spent enough time laying blame on myself, I didn't need it from him.

"I didn't ask for what happened to me." No matter how deserved I felt it was, my punishment could have been less extreme. Less traumatising.

"No one said you did," Damon said coolly. "I don't want the boss or Gianni getting killed because they're too busy thinking with their cocks." He glared at a driver who tried to change lanes without indicating.

"Them or you?" I retorted.

Damon didn't respond.

Yeah, that was what I thought.

Gianni chuckled and even Reuben snorted softly. Neither seemed worried about any feelings Damon or his cock had for me.

I sank back into my seat and closed my eyes. During my darkest days back in the cage, right after Kurt left, I pictured what life outside would be like. I knew better than to picture rainbows and unicorns or any of that bullshit. I pictured my family hating me and wanting nothing to do with me. I imagined them turning their backs on me. Maybe not Asher or Rose, but the rest. They'd give me pitying looks and shake their heads.

All of those thoughts were bleak, but realistic to my troubled mind. My mother used to tell me never to dream beyond what we can actually achieve. She expected all of us to achieve a great deal, and never make excuses when we didn't succeed. If we worked hard enough, we didn't need to have frivolous dreams. Everything was within reach, we just had to believe in our abilities. When we fucked up, it was always our fault. Everything was a lesson in doing better the next time.

Never in a million years would I have expected to end up here. The sky above me was bluer than I remembered. Food tasted better. Being touched wasn't as terrifying as I'd become accustomed to. But everything was so much more fucking complicated than I would have dreamt. It was hard to believe any man would care about me, or want me, much less three of them.

Damon was right, they could get killed if they let me distract them. He'd never forgive me and I'd never forgive myself. Maybe I should walk away while I still could. Before I fucked up their lives as well as my own. For their sakes, because I cared about them. Because I'd caused enough damage in the past that I didn't want to pay for any more.

Could I walk away? It would take some time and planning. But one thing I knew for sure. I wasn't going anywhere until I knew Kurt was dead. I needed these three men and their resources to make sure he, and anyone working for him, was gone for good.

Unless…

I chewed my lip and toyed with my options. The first of those was seeing if the man the twins were watching was Kurt.