38. Gavin

THIRTY-EIGHT

gavin

I WOKE UP in Daire’s bed again the next morning. Technically, it was closing in on noon, but the last couple of nights we hadn’t gotten much sleep when we were tangled up in each other.

I was not complaining, but as I rolled over in his bed to reach for him, all I found were empty sheets.

Well, that wasn’t promising.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I sat up and looked toward the open door of the bathroom, figuring he’d taken a shower, but the lights were off. The bedroom door was closed too, but I could hear movement somewhere in the apartment.

I reached for the pajama pants I’d thrown on the floor in the early-morning hours, and as I bent over, I could feel every aching muscle in my body—including ones I didn’t know I had.

This weekend had been the best of my life, but apparently it wasn’t without a price. I didn’t care; I would gladly pay it a million times over to be with the brooding bad boy who wasn’t all that he seemed.

Besides, it was my own damn fault I didn’t spend enough hours in the gym building up my leg muscles so I could ride him like a bucking bronco.

I’d have to work on that. Preferably with him, not in the gym.

I ran a hand over my hair and checked that I wasn’t too much of a hot mess before wandering out to see what Daire was up to.

The smell of coffee filled my nostrils, but it was the view in front of me that had me stopping in my tracks.

Daire leaned against the kitchen island, fully dressed and gorgeous, casually sipping on his coffee. Had he been alone, I might’ve said or done something a little indecent, but the blond guy sitting on a stool chatting it up—in a conversation that was no doubt one-sided—had me rethinking that plan.

My brother glanced over his shoulder at me, then did a double take. His eyes widened as he looked at what little I was wearing…and whose bedroom I’d just walked out of.

“What the…” As if to check he wasn’t hallucinating, Donovan swiveled his head toward my closed bedroom door and back to Daire’s before pinning me with an incredulous look. “No fucking way.”

Behind his mug, I swore I saw Daire crack a hint of a smile, and I grinned at my brother as I went to join them. Like yesterday, Daire had had several platters of food brought up, more of a brunch spread this time, and the smell of maple syrup had my stomach growling.

“Morning,” I said, not sure who I should go over to first. But when Daire met my gaze, winked, and turned away to make another coffee, I had my answer. “What brings you by, Van?”

“Did you just…come out of Daire’s room?”

I glanced behind me at the door I’d left open, the rumpled sheets in clear view. “Looks like it.”

“He also came in it too,” Daire said.

My brother gaped like a fish. “But…” he sputtered. “I thought you two weren’t even talking. Not after⁠—”

“I fucked him in the Sprinter?” Daire said, smirking as the espresso began to pour into a mug.

“Oh my God.” Donovan rubbed his temples, closing his eyes. Like he could block out what he’d just seen and heard. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“There a problem?” I moved to the spot Daire had been, grabbing one of the empty plates he’d set out and piling on the food.

Donovan stared as I took at least one of everything, like he couldn’t imagine why I wasn’t drinking a green juice, but weekends were for splurging, especially after the amount of calories I’d burned.

I smiled sweetly at my brother before taking a bite of the drenched-in-syrup waffle. Heaven. Pure heaven.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Daire open the fridge and pour a little milk into the mug, and I frowned. That wasn’t how he took his coffee. I’d watched him enough to know.

As he stirred, Daire moved in beside me and then slid the perfectly-made-just-the-way-I-like-it coffee my way.

I almost choked on my food at the unexpected gesture that touched me in a way I couldn’t explain. It was so simple, but it said so much. He’d watched me the way I’d watched him. Knew my likes, my habits…how I took my coffee.

Daire didn’t go out of his way for anyone, hadn’t in all the years I’d known him. This was different. This was him making an effort.

My heart squeezed as I smiled up at him, and then I lifted up onto my toes to press a kiss to his lips. If he was surprised, he didn’t show it. He kissed me back, curling an arm around my waist. It felt so good, so natural, that I sank into him, and it wasn’t until Donovan cleared his throat to remind us he was there that I pulled away.

“Thank you,” I said against Daire’s lips, and then I picked up the mug and took a long, appreciative swallow.

Perfect.

“Okay, one of you needs to start talking,” Donovan said, staring between the two of us. “Are you actually dating? Is that what’s happening here?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that, because hell if I knew—though if it were up to me, I knew what my response would be.

So when Daire shrugged and said, “Yep,” I stopped breathing.

From the looks of it, so had Donovan.

Daire’s hand brushed against my lower back. “Aren’t you going to be late?” he said, looking pointedly at my brother.

“What?” Donovan shook his head and checked his watch. “Oh. Right. Yeah, I need to get going soon.”

“Working today?” I finished off my waffle and moved on to the fluffy scrambled eggs.

“Yeah, I’ve got a shoot in Williamsburg, and I thought you might wanna come.” He glanced between us. “I mean, if you’re not busy. I just figured it’d be good to catch up, and there’s a flea market nearby you’d like.”

My brows shot up at the invitation. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d hung out, just the two of us, and I had to admit, it wasn’t a bad idea after several awkward, kinda tense months. It was thoughtful of him to ask, especially with the market incentive for when he was shooting.

“That would be great, actually,” I said, and glanced at Daire. “Is that cool with you?”

He nodded, and the hand he had on my back dipped down into the waist of my pants. “Long as I get you later.”

Butterflies burst in my stomach, and not even Donovan’s “ew” could tame them.

I grabbed a scone and threw it at Donovan’s head, but he ducked just in time, or there would’ve been blueberries and crumbs all over that model face.

He stood up and checked his watch again. “You’ve got ten minutes, so scarf it and get dressed.”

“Want me to meet you downstairs?” I said.

“No.” Donovan’s eyes narrowed slightly on Daire. “I wanna talk to this one. Alone.”

THE DRIVE TO Brooklyn was surprisingly quick, and I barely got a chance to grill Donovan about what he said to Daire before we arrived. I followed him into the hair and makeup trailer, swiping us a couple of drinks at the craft services table on the way. Several stations were already set up in front of blindingly bright mirrors and what seemed like every hair tool and makeup palette known to man. Donovan, of course, just had to be the first one there, and he chose the seat in the far back that had a bench for me so we could talk and I’d be out of the stylist’s way.

“So you didn’t threaten Daire’s life, is that what you’re telling me?” I handed Donovan a water and then popped the top of my ice-cold soda.

“Could anybody do that? I don’t have a death wish.” Donovan took a long swallow of his drink and then capped the top. “Now, that’s not to say I wouldn’t do some serious damage in other ways if he’s fucking around with you.”

I smirked. “I thought we already established he is?”

“Oh for the love of—” Donovan squeezed the bridge of his nose. “This is payback, isn’t it?”

“No. Payback would be you having to watch.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the lighting or what, but Donovan turned visibly green.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He blew out a breath. “I swear to God, if I could turn back time, I would’ve just told you so you didn’t have to see all that.”

And by that, he meant the porn scenes he’d secretly shot with Kelly that all our friends had watched in our apartment one day. No one had caught on because he was always in a mask, but there was a distinguishable birthmark I’d seen that day…

I shuddered, not wanting to relive that particular memory. I’d lost my shit on Donovan about it, because hello, how could I not want to stab my eyeballs out after that?

“And,” Donovan continued, “I’m also sorry that you felt you needed to move out. That was never my intention.”

“You thought we’d all be happy roomies after that? When we shared a wall and not even noise-canceling headphones could block you two out?”

Donovan had the sense to at least look apologetic. But hell, it wasn’t his fault his romantic life had been thriving when my own had been in the shitter.

“Look, it wasn’t all your fault,” I said. “Things weren’t good with Joey back then, and maybe I was a little…”

“Jealous?”

“Resentful.” I twisted the tab of my soda back and forth until it snapped off. “It’s not like I didn’t want you to be happy. But seeing it made me realize my own relationship wasn’t great, and it sucked.”

“Yeah, you were a shithead for a while there,” he agreed, but then his expression turned dark. “About that… What don’t I know?”

“Meaning?”

“With you and Joey. He shows up with a black eye after you break up, and so does Daire. Why? And don’t tell me nothing. Daire’s fucking crazy, but he wouldn’t do something like that without a reason.”

Damn, I’d forgotten he only knew about the bullying after we broke up. Daire was the only one who knew there was more to it, and it made me feel good to know I could trust him with my deepest, darkest secrets.

Well, even if he did retaliate against that asshole—but looking back, I couldn’t blame him for doing it. No point in protecting Joey now.

“He put his hands on me. Daire saw the bruises.”

I didn’t know my brother could look as murderous as he did right then.

“No,” he said, more to himself than me. He ran his fingers through his hair and gripped the ends tight. “What the fuck? Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Tell someone.”

“I left him. That was enough.”

“Bullshit.” Donovan jumped up and paced the trailer. “That’s not nearly enough. He hurt you.”

“And you guys did a stellar job of rectifying that wrong,” I said. “So thank you.”

“If I’d known that, I would’ve let Daire castrate him the way he wanted to.”

“What?”

“That fucking bastard. If he shows back up at Astor, I’ll kill him.”

“No, you won’t. It’s over. He’s not messing with me or anyone anymore. You all made your point more than well, and I appreciate it, but don’t go jump him in the hall.”

Donovan scoffed as he continued to pace. “Well, it won’t be in the hall. I heard he just transferred. Him and his dick followers.”

My mouth parted in surprise that was quickly followed by relief that I wouldn’t even have to look at Joey anymore. “Seriously?”

“Yep. I heard the dean personally kicked them out for not upholding Astor standards and had them escorted off campus. I would’ve liked to see that walk of shame.”

“Me too.”

Donovan stopped moving, his hazel eyes laced with regret. “I wish I’d known. I always thought you could talk to me. Tell me anything.”

I did. At least until that moment, but I had planned on carrying that with me to the grave. It was only by chance that Daire had even found out.

Still, if it’d been the other way around, I would be just as hurt as Donovan was, wouldn’t I?

“You’re right,” I said. “I should’ve said something, especially to you, and I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry for being an asshole to you and Kelly. I mean, I actually like him for you.”

“Yeah?” Donovan sat back in his chair, facing me. “You do?”

“Of course I do. He thinks you hung the moon, he treats you right, and he’s easy on the eyes. What more could I want for you?”

He tried to hold back a smile and failed miserably. “Thanks, Gav. I appreciate that. And just so you know, that’s all I want for you too.”

“Yeah? Even if it’s with Daire?”

“Fucking Daire…” He tapped his lips, lost in thought. “Is this for real? Because all he asked me in the Sprinter—wait, no, told me was that he wanted to…you know.”

“Fuck me?”

“That. Yes. He didn’t say anything about dating.”

“Well, that just sort of happened. We haven’t really talked about it, so I was a little blown away he said that this morning.”

“And you…like him? Like that?”

The look of disbelief on his face had me chuckling. “You say that like it’s weird.”

“It is weird. No offense, but he can be a scary bastard at the best of times. Although…”

“Although what?”

“I mean…” He blew out a long breath. “I think he’s always had a thing for you. Or a soft spot, whatever.”

My eyes popped wide. “What? Why would you think that?”

“Because of the way he’s always gone uber protective when it comes to you. I always figured it was because you’re the youngest, but now… I don’t think that’s it.”

But…Daire was like that with all of us. He gave every one of the guys shit, but at the end of the day, if anyone messed with our group, they messed with him. Had it been different with me and I hadn’t seen it?

“And something else,” Donovan said. “You’re the only one who can get him to calm down when he’s fired up about something. Like you’re the only one he listens to.”

“Oh whatever⁠—”

“Remember when he was about to throw down with that jock the day everyone found out about Preston? You stopped him from doing that. And the time some asshole looked at you wrong at the club, and all you had to do was put your hand on his arm and he chilled the hell out? I could go on and on.”

“That’s crazy,” I said, waving a hand to brush him off.

“It’s true, though. I never thought about it before now, but maybe it’s been staring us in the face this whole time but we couldn’t see past his scowls.” He tilted his head in thought. “Which would be a smart way to hide. If you just growl at everyone, no one would see or dare to ask what’s really behind that tough exterior.”

Holy shit.My brother had nailed exactly what I was coming to know about Daire—that there was more to him than what he showed the world. That there were so many hidden parts of him, things I wanted to know and hoped he’d open up about. He already had, more than I ever expected, but Donovan was figuring that out without knowing any specifics.

“Wow. No wonder everyone comes to you for a Van talk. That’s impressive.”

He grinned, showing off his pearly whites. “Thank you, that’ll be two grand.”

I shook my head and sucked down some of my soda, wondering if what he’d said could possibly be true. Had Daire ever looked at me as anything more and I’d been oblivious the whole time?

“So, is this your way of telling me you approve of me and Daire?” I said.

“I mean, he wasn’t on my radar, but at least I know with him you’ll be safe.”

After everything I’d told him, I couldn’t blame him for that being at the top of his list. And he was right—with Daire, I’d never felt safer. Among other things I wasn’t about to tell my brother.

Donovan snapped his fingers. “Hey, Mom and Dad are coming home this week. You should do a dinner or something and bring Daire.”

“Has all the hairspray gone to your head? I can’t do that.”

“Why not? He said it earlier, you’re dating.”

“That doesn’t mean bring him to have dinner with our parents.”

“Are you embarrassed or something?”

I balked. “What? No.”

“If you don’t invite him, he might think you are.”

“If I don’t invite him, he’ll probably be grateful. You know he hates small talk and dressing up.”

“I’m just sayin’.” Donovan turned his chair around, meeting my eyes in the mirror, as several stylists and models made their way inside. “Can’t hurt to ask. I bet he says yes.”

“Oh, are we betting now? How about twenty bucks says he’ll tell me I’m insane and to go by myself.”

“Twenty? That won’t even buy my lunch. Two hundred says he’ll be putting a suit on and sitting his grumpy ass beside you with dear old Mom and Dad.”

“Fine, I’ll take that bet,” I said, getting to my feet. “And don’t think I won’t mention you called Mom ‘old.’”