25. Daire

TWENTY-FIVE

daire

I AIMED FOR the bull’s-eye and threw another dart, but this one landed so far off center it bounced off the board and fell to the floor.

Great. I was playing shit tonight. It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that I’d broken all my rules and fucked Gavin this morning.

I threw another. Missed.

Nope. Nothing at all to do with him.

“Another couple of tequila shots for you.” The lone waitress manning the residents-only bar at the Towers set the full glasses on the high-top beside me and winked. “It’s on the house. You look like you need them.”

Thanking her with a nod, I tossed back one of the shots and picked up another dart. This time I actually made it onto the board, but just barely.

Maybe I needed to keep drinking. It sure as shit wasn’t making my aim any worse.

As I grabbed up the darts and took my place again, my eyes caught on Gavin making his way into the Towers, his school bag slung over his shoulder. It was late, and the fact that I knew where he’d been—hell, knew his schedule—was pathetic. I paid far too much attention to where he was every minute of the day. Even now, when I hadn’t been looking for him, there he was.

I watched as he waved to the front desk attendants and made his way to the elevators, but before he stepped inside, he happened to look in my direction.

The way his face instantly brightened when he saw me had an unfamiliar tightening in my chest. He shouldn’t be looking at me that way. I didn’t deserve it. I wasn’t sure anyone did.

Turning away, I refocused on the board and let another dart fly. It landed—just into the wall.

Gavin chuckled behind me. “Having an off night?”

Jerking the dart out of the plaster, I shook my head. “How can you tell?”

“You’re usually so good at this.” He set his bag on one of the chairs and leaned on the high-top as I took my place again. “Something got you…distracted?”

I hesitated, but somehow that was what did the trick, because the dart hit the bull’s-eye.

“Oh shit, look at that.” Gavin grinned as he walked my way, casually reaching for the waist of my jeans as he looked up at me with adoring eyes. “Looks like I’m your good-luck charm.”

Of course that was what he was thinking, when he really should know better. Nothing about me was good. For anyone. He needed to save that look for someone else.

I stepped back out of his hold and focused on the board. “Did you want something?”

“Yeah, I thought maybe we could go out for dinner if you haven’t eaten yet? I’m starving.”

“With the guys?”

“Um. No, I was thinking just you and me. Us. Together. You know, without…the others.”

Christ. He wanted a date. I should’ve expected it after this morning, but I thought he understood that wasn’t my thing.

Gavin was all about long walks on the beach, holding hands, and candlelit dinners. Me? I just wanted to set fire to everything and be done with it. Let the flame catch, burn hot, then get out before it burned you to a fuckin’ crisp.

“D?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you eaten?”

Damn it, why wouldn’t he just leave me alone? I didn’t want to be an ass, but he wasn’t leaving me much of an option. “Nah, not hungry.”

The flash of hurt that crossed Gavin’s face had me refocusing on the board again. This was the exact reason I’d steered clear of him today. The reason I’d done everything I could to avoid hooking up with him in the first place. He was too sweet, too naïve. Hell, I’d flat-out told him I’d hurt him. But here he was, trying to make this more than it was. Trying to attach feelings to the physical.

I didn’t play that way, though. I wasn’t about to pretend what happened this morning was more than a quick fuck. That would be worse in the long run for everyone. So it was best he got over this…crush, or whatever it was he was feeling.

If I hurt him today, he could hate me tomorrow. Then we’d all get over it and move the hell on.

“Oh, okay. Well, maybe I could just get us a couple more drinks? I wasn’t really hungry anyway.”

I stalked over to the board and pulled the dart free, then turned back to Gavin. “Why do you do that?”

A tentative smile curved Gavin’s lips. “Do what?”

“Change your plans for someone else?”

“I didn’t do that.”

“Yeah, you did.” I walked back over to the table and downed the other shot of tequila. “You wanted to go eat. So go eat.”

Gavin opened his mouth as though he were going to say something, but then he stopped. “You’re trying to piss me off.”

God, it was annoying how well he knew me. But that didn’t stop my dick from reacting to the way he called me out on my shit. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had been ballsy enough to go toe to toe with me, yet there Gavin was at every turn, ready to butt heads with me.

“Why the hell would I do that?” I said.

“’Cause you’re freaking out.” He scoffed and shook his head. “I should’ve known better. You stuck your dick in me this morning, and when it jump-started your heart, you freaked the fuck out.”

Jesus, I needed more alcohol for this. “Hate to break it to you, but my heart long since checked out. It would take a hell of a lot more than ten minutes in your sweet ass to bring it back to life.”

Gavin snatched his bag off the table and glared at me. “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not⁠—”

“All I wanted was dinner. Not a declaration of love. Not even a date. I just wanted to eat a damn meal, and you had to go and be an ass about it.”

He wasn’t wrong, but it was better he hate me now and just get it out of his system.

“Then go eat. This is what I’m talking about. Someone says they don’t want to do something, and you immediately change to their plans. Stand up for yourself.”

I don’t know why I was pushing him so hard. He already hated my guts, judging by the furious look on his face. But I figured since I was all in already, I might as well go for gold. Being an asshole was, after all, the one thing I excelled at.

“Wow, okay, so that’s how you see me? As a pushover?”

That wasn’t how I saw him at all, especially with the way he stood up to me. But I wasn’t going to admit that. Not when I was doing everything in my power to make him stop looking at me with eyes full of fire and arousal. His anger barely masked the fact that he would immediately jump into bed with me if I dragged him upstairs right now.

“Your words, not mine.”

“Unbelievable. So this morning, that meant nothing to you?”

“I mean, it was good.” I shrugged, needing him to get the hell away from me before I did something seriously stupid. “You’re a good fuck.”

Gavin’s palm came up and landed hard on my cheek before I could duck out of the way. The loud cracking sound was the complete opposite to the sounds I’d wrung from him this morning, but no less deserving, as a look of shock crossed his face.

“Oh my God,” he muttered, snatching his hand back. “I… I hit you.”

I worked my jaw, rubbing my hand over the hot mark his palm had left on my cheek. “I probably deserved it.”

“You definitely deserved it.”

My lips twitched at his fiery comeback, and Gavin took a step back.

“I don’t know why you feel like you can’t let anyone in. Why you can’t let anyone close. All I wanted was dinner.”

“No, you didn’t.” I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair, turning back to the dartboard.

“So that’s it?”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Gavin clutching his bag to his chest, his wide eyes pleading with me to change my mind. But it wasn’t going to happen. I was all wrong for him—couldn’t he see that? He’d just slapped me across the face, for fuck’s sake. Why in the hell would he want anything more to do with me?

“Unless you want to go another round upstairs? Or in the restrooms here? The stalls are big enough for a fu⁠—”

“Yeah, no.” Gavin licked at his lips, swallowing down the disgust he no doubt felt at knowing he’d let someone like me touch him. “I’m good.”

I bet he was. He was finally realizing what I’d done just now was best for both of us. Once was a mistake; twice was a habit. So if he could just turn around and walk away, we could chalk this up to a hot mistake, and leave it at that.

“I’m going to head upstairs.”

I gave a clipped nod and turned back to the dartboard, and as I heard his footsteps fade into the distance, I stared at the bull’s-eye, pictured my fucked-up face, and let the dart fly—and what do you know, I hit that bastard dead center.