16. Gavin

SIXTEEN

gavin

THE SECOND DAIRE’S door slammed shut, I knew he wasn’t coming back out again. But with the way his kiss had just scrambled my brain, I couldn’t stay here and try to think clearly. Not when every fiber of my being was suddenly attuned to his.

I had to get out of there.

Pushing through the shock that wanted to keep my feet rooted to the floor, I somehow made my way out of the apartment, going to the one place in this building I looked to as a sanctuary.

This late, there was no one else in the Secret Garden, and even the fire had long since been snuffed out. Only a few strands of twinkling lights lit the space as I headed toward my usual spot and fell down onto the velvet couch.

What in the fresh hell had happened tonight?

And why was it that every time I went on a date with Trevor, something dramatic happened and I couldn’t even remember it? Like East sending me a video of him and the guys inflicting punishment on my ex and his friends. Or fighting with Daire, and Daire⁠—

Kissingme.

So much had happened in the last few hours, but that was all I could focus on. Maybe it was because I could still feel his hands holding me, the way his mouth had taken possession of mine.

I traced my swollen lips with my fingers, still dazed at how quickly our confrontation had turned into something more. I’d been so damn mad at him, and all I’d wanted to do when I saw him standing in our living room, so calm and unconcerned, was strangle him.

Not let him kiss me, for God’s sake. Not kiss him back.

Definitely not want to do it again…

Sinking back onto the couch, I kicked my feet up and closed my eyes.

Stop thinking about Daire. Think about the way he and the others went behind your back instead.

That was easier said than done with my lips still tingling and my stomach twisting itself into knots.

Needing a reminder of what had gone down, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and brought the video up.

The smirk on East’s face before he panned the camera around Astor’s courtyard was enough to tell me he was out somewhere patting himself on the back now, probably with the rest of our fucked-up crew. Why Daire hadn’t joined them, I didn’t know, but for the moment I put that aside, because the sight of Joey and his friends naked and spread out for public view was nothing short of shocking.

And what was that on their necks? They all seemed to have the same drawing of… I hit pause and zoomed in, squinting at what looked like…dicks? What, so they’d Sharpie’d dicks leading up to their mouths? That seemed a little pedestrian, especially for East⁠—

Oh my God.

They hadn’t drawn those on.

Light glinted off the cling wrap covering the designs, which meant those were fucking tattoos.

My jaw hit the floor as I pieced together what they’d done. It was obvious Carl and Doug were knocked out cold somehow, but Joey seemed at least half awake and utterly terrified as Daire crouched down in front of him.

They’d been given something to keep them from putting up a fight, that much was clear. And then what? Taken to get dick tattoos before being left on Astor’s doorstep for everyone to see?

Conflicting emotions warred in me, and even knowing how messed up it was, I couldn’t help but laugh. After all the shit those three had given me for months, for my friends to shut those bastards up that way? It was priceless. I couldn’t help but feel relief and even gratitude at seeing the way they’d been dealt with.

I didn’t have to defend myself from those guys anymore.

I didn’t have to dread walking down the halls of Astor and worrying about who was lurking around the next corner.

That was all taken care of.

I rested my head back against the couch and shut my eyes, feeling the weight I’d been carrying around, the fear I’d lived with, finally leave my shoulders. I felt lighter, more at ease than I’d felt in months—and with that realization, any residual anger I felt toward my friends disappeared.

How could I be angry when they’d just given me back my freedom? When they’d just—what had Daire said?—taken care of a problem I let get out of control?

It wasn’t like I’d been able to stop it. But after tonight, I had a feeling I’d seen the last of them. God knows I wouldn’t want to be on Daire’s bad side—I’d seen the kind of damage he could do. But I had to admit, something about the way he’d stood up for me, the way he’d promised vengeance if Joey ever came near me again, made my heart do this weird kind of skipping thing, similar to what happened when his mouth had slammed down onto mine…

Why had he kissed me like that? It wasn’t like we’d been on the best terms lately. If anything, we’d been at each other’s throats. The debacle with my breakup months ago had led to a chasm that seemed to widen more with each day. And after our argument the night I followed him to his underground fight club, I’d thought for sure we were on the outs. But then, why had he kissed me?

It hadn’t just been a quick mistake of a kiss, either—it had been a fierce, crushing, passionate kiss that went from punishing to life-altering in seconds. In one instant I’d been wanting to strangle him, and the next I would’ve done anything for him to drag me to his bedroom and⁠—

I jackknifed up on the couch, my eyes popping open.

What the hell was the matter with me? Here I was after one of the best dates of my life, and instead of thinking about the charming, good-looking man I’d run out on, I was fantasizing about Daire.

Daire…

The guy who barely grunted a good morning to me. Who only had one expression: a scowl. The guy who beat people up for fun, and got pissed off if you dared to worry about his well-being.

This was the guy I was imagining dragging me into his bedroom? Was I fucking insane? I had to be, because only an idiot would catch feelings for someone like Daire. And only a masochist would want him to touch them.

I was neither. At least, I didn’t think so. But I also couldn’t remember the last time I’d had such a reaction to someone. For so long now I’d been walking around in a kind of funk. I’d become a hostile shadow of myself. Maybe it’d taken another grumpy asshole to make it all come crashing down. Like two lighting bolts slamming into one another across the sky.

Great, now I was thinking of his mouth crushing mine. The electricity I’d felt humming between us, and his hands… Damn. The way he’d held my face with those strong fighter hands? He’d been so gentle, so protective of me, even with his anger riding him. Not once had I felt scared or in danger with Daire, which was crazy, considering what a maniac he could be.

I thought back to the argument that led up to that combustible moment between us, the words we’d hurled at each other, and while most of it had been defensive and aggressive, one thing stood out to me—Daire’s angry acknowledgement of my distancing myself from him.

The fact that he’d noticed was shocking enough. But the mocking way he’d tried to shield his feelings about it made me wonder…

Did Daire actually give a shit about me? Did he care what happened to me?

If someone had asked me that last month, or even a couple of weeks ago, I would’ve laughed in their face. But now I wasn’t so sure.

That kiss. The way he’d threatened Joey. The hurt I could’ve sworn I saw flash across his face when I told him not to fight my battles. It all spoke of feelings, emotions that, quite honestly, I hadn’t been sure Daire was capable of—still wasn’t, really.

No. That wasn’t true. There had been more emotion in our apartment tonight than either one of us had known what to do with. Emotion that had driven us into each other’s arms and thrown our entire situation into total, utter chaos.

What the hell did I do now? It wasn’t like I could erase my memory. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to.

I’d never thought of Daire Connery in any way other than the surly bastard with the permanent scowl. But now all I could think about was how damn good that scowl felt against me.

Fuck.This was going to get complicated.