11. Gavin

ELEVEN

gavin

I LAY IN bed wide awake as the minutes and then hours ticked by. As much as I hated myself for it, I couldn’t sleep knowing Daire was still out there. What if he’d gone back to whatever fight club situation that was and gotten into some kind of trouble? It wasn’t like he had anyone to back him up. Sure, he could hold his own—I’d seen that with my own eyes—but in a tag-team situation, would that still be true?

A small noise had me lifting my head, waiting for Daire to walk in the front door, but it proved to be a false alarm.

I couldn’t stop the anxiety curling and spreading through my body as I glanced at the clock again. It was a little after five a.m. and he still wasn’t back yet. He wasn’t usually out this late, and now knowing what he’d willingly walked back into, what he did on these nights out, I doubted I’d ever sleep again on nights like this. Mornings like this.

The front door opened suddenly, and I shot up in the bed, my heart beating fast. Part of me wanted to go out there, make sure he was still in one piece and didn’t need an ambulance, but the other part of me couldn’t shake all the things he’d said to push me away.

He didn’t want my help. He didn’t need it. And when I heard his bedroom door close without him coming in to apologize or show me he was alive, the concern I’d been feeling the last few hours abruptly switched to anger.

Good, he was home safe. But fuck him for the fact that he gave no shits about himself or anyone else.

I had half a mind to go beat down his door and give him another piece of my mind, but God forbid he might twist it and think I want to fuck him.

Besides, nothing seemed to get through that thick skull of his, so anything I did would be futile. It would make me feel better to yell at him, though. Or would it? Because all I’d felt walking away from him after our fight was rage and exasperation, and that was exhausting. Worrying about someone you couldn’t even get answers out of was bullshit. I didn’t understand him at all, and that was the way Daire seemed to want it.

So why, after all the shit he said to me, am I still awake thinking about it?

With a frustrated sigh, I fell back on my pillow and forced myself to shut my eyes and try for a couple hours’ sleep. What a wasted night. I barely remembered the date I’d gone on before this whole thing with Daire exploded so spectacularly, and it wasn’t Trevor’s face I saw behind my eyelids.

It was Daire’s. That defiant confidence as he’d walked into the circle to challenge the Destroyer. I’d been so shocked at where following him underground had taken me that I was only now remembering the way he’d laid into the bigger guy without letting him land a blow. Obviously that wasn’t always the case, if the bruises on his back and torso were anything to go by.

But no one had touched him tonight. He’d taken out several people in the crowd as well, in a way that was instinctual, doing it without having time to consider the consequences.

Now that the overwhelming terror I’d felt watching him had faded somewhat, I could acknowledge that he was an impressive fighter. I’d always assumed he honed his muscles in the gym, not beating people half to death, but it was clear he wasn’t just good at it, not with a nickname like Reaper. He was great. The fact that Joey even still had a face told me Daire had held back and kept his promise of not killing the guy.

The thought had an ember of something warming my chest, but just as quickly as I felt it, it was snuffed out by the words he’d spat my way.

Goddamn, why did he have to be such a dick?

LESS THAN TWO hours of sleep made me a grumpy bastard the next morning. I’d fully expected to go through our usual non-speaking morning routine while getting ready for school, but Daire was already gone when I ventured into the kitchen.

How did I know that he wasn’t dead on his mattress? Because I’d knocked on his door and, when he didn’t answer, checked his room to make sure he was alive. If I hadn’t heard him come home earlier, I would’ve freaked out, but this was pure avoidance, and if he wanted to play that game, so be it.

I thought about telling the guys what had happened on our way to Astor, since Daire didn’t make an appearance there either, but something held me back. I didn’t know why, but it felt like the right thing to do, keeping Daire’s secret even though he hadn’t kept mine. He’d done it for my benefit, though, even if I didn’t see it that way at the time, and what good would come from the other guys knowing? They’d only venture down into the tunnel and put themselves and Daire in danger.

So I kept quiet, too tired to contribute much to the conversation, and made sure to hit up the coffee bar the second I walked into Astor. I’d need more than what I’d finished off at my place if I was going to make it through the day with my eyes open.

I turned down the hall, on my way to my first class, and stopped short when I saw the three guys gathered up ahead. Shit. That was all I needed this morning—Joey and his band of dicks all hanging out by the lecture hall I needed to go in. Usually I got there early so I would miss this exact thing. They were less likely to bother me when surrounded by others—yes, they were still bothering me, all these months later.

Why couldn’t Joey just let it go already? Oh, wait, he was an egotistical asshole who’d been handed his ass for everyone to see. So now he was making it his personal mission to make my life hell—whenever I was alone, that was.

My grip on the coffee cup tightened as I braced myself for the usual onslaught of insults about to be hurled my way. I probably should’ve told my brother what was going on, but that would only lead to even more retaliation from the guys. And since that was what had landed me in this position to start with, I figured the best course of action was to ignore Joey and his goons. They’d get bored eventually, right?

“Would you look at that,” I heard Joey’s right-hand man, Carl, say. “It’s the loser prince minus his Park Avenue Pricks.”

“Don’t you mean his brother’s Park Avenue Pricks?” Doug said, and then started to laugh, as I kept my head down, pretending to read my phone rather than look at them.

“Pretty pathetic he can’t find friends of his own,” he jeered as they broke apart and moved toward me.

My heart started to thump a little harder as I continued to ignore them, and for a split second I thought about sending a text to Donovan. I knew my brother—he’d drop everything to get to me before anything really bad could happen, and likely bring the cavalry. But I quickly nixed the idea, knowing that if I did that I’d appear even weaker than Joey already thought, and that was the last thing I wanted.

I could feel them circling me like sharks, but kept on moving. I just needed to get in the classroom around other people, then I’d be safe. These assholes only came for me when I was alone.

“Ignoring us today, Truitt?” One of them shoved the back of my arm, and I whipped my head around to glare at Doug.

God, how had I ever hung out with these guys? Granted, my association with them had been minimal and usually through Joey, their dickhead leader, so I’d never been on this side of their crowd. But Jesus, this constant badgering, this cornering of me when I was alone? They were bullies, something I never in a million years thought I’d have to deal with.

Something even my friends wouldn’t stoop to.

“Don’t touch me,” I said, knowing full well that I was no match for him alone, let alone with his friends surrounding me.

Doug snorted. “Or what? You’ll keep glaring at me?”

“Nah, he’ll just send someone else to do his dirty work for him.” That voice I’d recognize anywhere, and when my eyes landed on Joey’s face and now slightly crooked nose, some small part of me did a happy dance.

“I didn’t send Daire.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.” I swallowed, refusing to let Joey intimidate me, even if all I wanted to do was run. “And don’t you think they would’ve found you by now if I wanted them to?”

Joey’s eyes narrowed a fraction, and when he took a step forward I immediately went back, only to run into Doug.

“You threatening me?” Joey said, and my mouth parted in complete and utter disbelief. How in the hell had I ever had any kind of feelings for this guy?

Was I threatening him? I wasn’t the one waiting in hallways to ambush and intimidate him whenever the opportunity arose. I wasn’t the one still holding a grudge all these months later, even though he had been the one to put hands on me.

“I’m not threatening you. I’m just pointing out a fact.”

Joey grabbed the front of my shirt, hauling me forward until we were practically nose to nose. “That better be all you’re doing. Because I don’t take kindly to threats.”

“Let me go, Joey.”

Joey batted his lashes and repeated in a high voice, “Let me go, Joey,” and right then I had a vision of Daire stepping out of the classroom and seeing what was happening. I had a clear picture of the way he might haul Joey off me, toss him to the ground, straddle his burly body, and land blow after blow after⁠—

“What are you smiling about?”

You getting your face beat in.

I didn’t say that, though. Instead I shook my head. “Nothing.”

Joey shoved me back so hard I bounced off Doug before stumbling to steady my feet, and as the three of them gathered in front of me, I thought about tossing my coffee all over them.

“Better get to class,” Joey said, and stepped aside. “You wouldn’t want to be late.”

I straightened my shoulders, angling my chin high as I stepped past the three assholes. As I entered the classroom, the door shut behind me and I finally let out a sigh of relief.

I was safe, at least for now, and that would have to be enough.