Chapter 11 - Hanson

It had been two weeks since that fateful morning, the one when Hanson had made the most foolish mistake of his life. And since then he had been punishing himself to no end, determined to stay the hell away from Eddie's sister.

That was the only way he could think of her now, the only way to make him keep his distance. If he thought of her as Elena, as the woman he had buried himself so deep inside he had become a part of her, he would never leave her side again.

But in a place like Nightstar, that was next to impossible, especially when they were living in the same damn house.

The first night, he had stayed away from the manor, heading to Nightstar's only dive bar in the hopes of finding another lucky lady to take his mind off her.

He had even succeeded. He wasn't usually one for picking up humans, but needs must, and when he met an exceptionally attractive one, she had seemed like a safe bet.

But the second he had stepped onto her porch that night, invited in for a night cap, he had made excuses for a damn quick exit.

Feeling like a damned fool, he hadn't tried that one again, but he did try to stay away from the manor as much as possible. Taking on extra patrols was the safest bet. If he was too exhausted to fuck, it would be easier to stay away.

If only he could avoid bumping into Elena in the hallways of the manor and staring at her across the dining table during meals shared by those living in the house. Eddie's presence made that one only the slightest bit easier.

But whenever he was out of the house and things were quiet, Hanson could feel her presence all too strongly.

Though she seemed to be avoiding him, too, slipping out of rooms as swiftly as he entered or making up excuses, Hanson couldn't help but feel as though they had to set the record straight.

What had happened between them replayed in his mind every night no matter how hard he tried to avoid her. And he needed to know that she felt the same way, that she wanted him to stay away.

So, one afternoon, while the manor was quiet with many of the men out on odd jobs for the alpha and Bonnie, Layla and some of the other she-wolves berry picking in the garden with the children, Hanson cornered Elena in the library.

Standing in the doorway, he watched her silently for several moments.

She sat perched in one of the window seats, a book clamped in her hands. The sunlight that filtered through the window danced upon her pale skin and made her glow with luminescence.

Why did she have to be so damn beautiful? The question made him growl low in his throat.

Instantly, Elena jumped to her feet, the book falling from her hands with a thud at her feet.

"Hanson," she squeaked, dropping down to grab up the book as quickly as she had let go of it. "You scared the life out of me."

Leaning against the door frame, he crossed his arms over his chest and raised his brow. "Didn't you hear me coming?"

He suspected not, for if she had, she would already have been on her way out in order to avoid him, he was sure.

Elena clutched her book to her chest as if she wished to use it as a shield. Tempted by her vulnerability, feeling just as weak, he stepped into the room.

"I…I guess I was lost in this," she admitted, lifting the book a little.

Hanson turned his attention to the book and asked, "What is it?"

Elena shrugged again. "Nothing special."

She crossed the room toward one of the shelves. With a glance at her watch, she said, "I should go. I didn't realize the time. I promised I'd help Bonnie and the others."

Hanson swiftly intercepted her, blocking her path. "We need to talk."

His tone was far more threatening than he had anticipated. Elena's gaze snapped up to his. He saw the way she gulped, and the sound made him cringe.

The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable.

She reached up and pushed hair back behind her ear, lowering her gaze as she said, "There is nothing to talk about."

Hanson's stomach twisted. Clearly, she was as determined as he was to deny what had happened between them, yet it still hurt like hell.

"Don't fuck with me, Elena," he growled, and her gaze darted to his again, eyes widening. "I need to know, do you feel the same way I do?"

Against his better judgment, he drew closer. He didn't blink and neither did she. They stared into each other's eyes, locked in place.

Do you need me with every fiber of your being? he thought, not daring to ask the words for fear he would never be able to deny it to himself once the words were out.

"Yes," Elena breathed through parted lips, drawing so close he thought she might push up on her tiptoes and kiss him. Her next words made his insides ache. "What happened between us never should have happened. We should just forget it ever did."

Through gritted teeth, he said, "Agreed," but his eyes lowered to her lips, lingering there as the urge to kiss her only grew.

The book dropped, forgotten, from Elena's fingers once more. Her hands dropped to her sides as her chest brushed his.

Torturously slowly, Hanson's fingertips brushed hers, their hands interlocking. Her lips were so close to his now, leaning down even as she pushed herself up.

Time seemed to slow and then stop. Her breath tickled his lips, and he groaned deep in his throat, closing his eyes as he fought the urge to embrace her.

Then, suddenly, she screamed, "No! This can't happen again. I already have a mate!"

Her words were like a knife to his heart. It wouldn't be the first time he had been stabbed, but this was even more painful than being pierced by a silver blade.

His eyes burst open, and he moved to grab her, to shake her and demand if she was lying, but before he could do so she slipped past him.

Heart breaking into a million pieces, Hanson turned and watched her go, feeling as if the only good thing in his life had been dashed to the seven winds forever.

Her words rang in his ears, but how could they possibly be true? If she had a mate, how could he possibly feel this kind of connection with her?

His urge to protect, to possess, to fuck her was so uncontrollable that it was a fight simply to breathe in her presence. Every time Eddie glowered at him, he was ready to tear his head clean off his shoulders just to get nearer to her. If another member of the pack so much as sniffed in her direction, he had to fight the urge to throw them through the nearest window.

Never in all the years since his first shift at eighteen had he felt this strongly about another wolf. It was driving him insane.

But what she had just told him made him feel dead inside. It was like a cold shard of ice had been plunged into his heart and was slowly freezing him from the inside out, turning him cold and hard and unfeeling. Only he felt all too much, his world collapsing around him.

More fool me, he thought, disappointed with himself more than anything. If he had just stuck to his guns and stayed the hell away from her, he never would have had to feel this unbearable pain.

Long after she was gone, he remained frozen to the spot, unsure what to do or where to go or how even to begin moving again.

The emotional battering she had just given him was far worse than any physical injury he had ever received. In fact, it was one he wasn't sure he would ever recover from.