Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

V innie watched the door close behind Tomas, his stomach churning a little. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that the man knew what an orbital fracture felt like.

He wondered if Tomas realized what he actually looked like at the moment, how battered and bruised he truly was. He just seemed so nonchalant about it, like it wasn’t a big deal.

And he could barely let himself think about how it had happened. That Tomas and Marv had been attacked by some piece-of-shit abuser and his friends simply because they had protected the man’s wife when she’d called for help.

The fact that he was on his way to the courthouse when he’d stopped to help Vinnie also wasn’t lost on him.

“Vin,” Mason said softly from behind him.

He took a deep breath slowly and let it out quietly. As confusing as his attraction and draw Tomas was, he needed to focus on his relationship with Mason. That’s what he’d driven across the country to fix. He couldn’t let himself get distracted by a tall, well-built, gorgeous, kind, older man who made butterflies erupt inside him with a single look.

He’d give himself time to freak out about it later, but he figured it was the universe laughing at him. He’d decided to give up on trying to find a Dom, and so the universe had thrown the perfect man right in front of him. Even worse, had thrown him in front of him and Mason , tempting them both.

And Mason’s impulse control wasn’t exactly well-known.

He turned and offered Mason a small smile. “Well, despite that interruption, I’m glad we have a chance to talk, just the two of us.”

Mason raised his brows and crossed his arms over his chest. “Is that what you’re calling Tomas, an interruption?”

“For the moment,” Vinnie said, lifting his chin. “I can only focus on one issue at a time right now.”

Mason’s defiant look crumbled, and he closed the small distance between them, lightly resting his hands on Vinnie. “What’s the matter?”

He shook his head. “I’m just tired. The last few weeks have been busy getting everything packed up and ready to be moved, and I picked up as many extra shifts as I could since I wasn’t sure how quickly I’d be able to start back to work once I moved back.”

“Lee will hire you again,” Mason cut in, sounding positive. “He loved you and was so mad when you left.”

“Exactly. He was mad that I left.”

He figured it was a pretty good chance he would get rehired, considering he was extremely good at his job and he had glowing recommendations from his supervisors in Atlanta, but it wasn’t a guarantee. And if he had to go outside of Ridgewood to find a hospital to hire him… Well, he’d worry about that problem if it came up.

Mason scoffed softly. “He might’ve been mad that you left, but he’ll be just as happy you’re back. How often did you pick up overtime or switch with other people when they needed days off? You were his go-to person to cover understaffed shifts.”

He had a point there, but he thought it was funny that Mason was saying those things like they were positives when, a year ago, they had been fighting almost daily about the fact Mason felt he worked too much.

He didn’t point that out though. The last thing he wanted was to start another fight. “Either way, it’s been a long couple of weeks and…” He hesitated, studying Mason’s upturned face. It was so open, even after everything they’d gone through for the last year. It was like Mason didn’t know how to close himself off, didn’t know how to stay mad.

“And what?” Mason asked.

“I haven’t been sleeping well.”

Mason smiled at him softly. “Me neither. I’m glad you came back though. I take it that means you want to make this work?”

Vinnie was grabbing his upper arms before he realized it, tugging him closer until their faces were only inches away. “I’ve always wanted to make this work. I know it might not have seemed like it lately. I’ve gotten lost in my head and I think a little complacent, like it didn’t matter what I did or how much we fought because no matter what, it was always you and me and it always would be, but you deserve better than that. I’m going to be better than that.”

Mason curled his fingers into the fabric of Vinnie’s T-shirt, a vulnerable look appearing in his eyes. “We both got complacent, but I think we both want it enough that we can make things work, that we can fix what was starting to break and maybe even be stronger than we were before.”

Swallowing, Vinnie nodded. “That’s what I want, Mase. No matter what else happens, no matter if we ever find a third or if you make millions of dollars a year more than I do, I want to make sure that we’re the priority.”

Mason rolled his eyes. “What do you mean if? Didn’t you see that hot Latino who walked out of here a minute ago?”

He bit back a laugh. “Yes, I saw him, but that doesn’t mean…”

Mason gave him a slight shake. “It can mean that if we want it to. I’m not going to rush you on anything. I just want you to know that I’ve been here for weeks, and I’ve gotten to know Tomas and the others personally, and everything Ollie told us about them, all of the good work that they do, the kindness, the accepting way they have of everyone no matter how different they are, it’s all true. You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Maybe,” Vinnie said softly. “But we’ve been let down so many times before.”

“None of those men were like Tomas,” Mason insisted. “Just give him a chance. Please, Vinnie, let yourself hope for it and be open to it. Don’t build up those cement walls of yours too high for anyone to get in, me or Tomas.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” Vinnie started to say, but Mason shook his head.

“I know you don’t mean to, but when you shut down and close yourself off to protect yourself, you close yourself off from me too, even when you don’t realize it, and there’s nothing that makes me feel more lonely than being alone with you and feeling like you’re not even there.”

Mason’s words hit him with a sledgehammer, putting a huge crack in his chest and those damn cement walls they were both so familiar with.

Back before they’d left his parents’ house, he hadn’t needed them, had been more open to things like Mason was, but when his parents found them in his bedroom a month before graduation and told him they would have to leave the day after they finished high school, the first block was put in place.

He built up his walls quickly, needing to protect himself from feeling that pain, that betrayal from the people who were supposed to love him no matter what. But when they looked at him and Mason, someone he had loved for as long as he could remember, they were disgusted by them. They couldn’t and wouldn’t accept it. The only reason they’d let him and Mason stay was because they were more worried about what their church friends would say if they kicked them out early. Being gossiped about was more terrifying to them than living under the same roof as two gay boys.

Vinnie didn’t know how Mason had held on to his sweetness and his ability to hold his heart wide open after losing his parents to a car accident, and then after living with him and his parents for two years before getting kicked to the curb simply for loving his adoptive parents’ son. No matter what life threw at them, Mason always stayed warm and loving, whereas Vinnie had started to turn cold, apathetic.

He just hadn’t realized how much it had been affecting Mason as well, how much he’d been inflicting it on him.

“I’ll try,” Vinnie whispered, emotions thick in his voice. “I don’t want you to feel that way ever again.”

Mason cupped the sides of his face. “I should have said something before. Instead of getting mad and arguing, we should have just sat down and talked. I just didn’t know if you’d hear me.”

He wasn’t sure he would have either. The one thing he had heard loud and clear was the front door closing in their apartment, Mason on the other side. He hadn’t realized he wouldn’t come back in that moment, but it had still been excruciating to watch him walk away and know that he had played a large part in causing the divide between them.

Music started to play out in the main club area, and Mason’s smile widened. “Are you going to stay for the party?”

“I’m not sure,” Vinnie said, “but I want to help Knuckles finish up the cupcakes. I told him I would come back.”

Mason nodded.

When Vinnie started to step away, his hold on his T-shirt tightened. Vinnie turned back to him, furrowing his brows. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you going to stay?” Mason asked softly, his voice breaking. “I don’t want you to sleep somewhere else. Please, Vinnie, stay here with me.”

He wasn’t sure it was a good idea. He didn’t want them to just ignore the problems from before and go back to pretending like everything was fine. But just like Tomas, he couldn’t say no to Mason’s pleading face, especially when he didn’t really want to.

He was tired of being alone too.

“Okay. I’ll stay.”

The party had started out pretty normal, as far as Vinnie could tell. He hadn’t exactly been to a lot of adult birthday parties since, for the longest time, it was just him and Mason, and then him, Mason, Penny, and Ollie.

But when the Devil’s Hands put on a party, they put everything they had into it, apparently. The lights had been turned down low, with white twinkle lights strung up across the ceiling, zigzagging back and forth and giving a soft warm glow to the room. But the music was loud and boisterous, as were the many partygoers, most wearing leather, motorcycle boots, torn jeans, and flannels.

Amidst it all was Ollie, playing host despite the fact it wasn’t his boyfriend’s birthday. He was wearing a bright pink pair of shorts that had long cutouts in the back, showing off half of his ass cheeks, and a white crop top with the words “Daddy’s little brat” on the front in the same bright pink color. His sparkly silver shoes really rounded out the outfit, but what struck Vinnie was the fact that none of the bikers in the room even blinked an eye at him.

Many of them smiled when Ollie popped up next to them, asking if they needed anything and were having fun. And his shadow, Six, followed him around indulgently, occasionally stopping just to say a few words to some of the partygoers but mostly keeping his attention completely focused on his boyfriend, stepping in if Ollie got a little too rowdy and giving him a firm pat on the ass before redirecting him toward another group.

As much and as often as Ollie had talked to him and Mason while they had been gone, they hadn’t really had a chance to see him and Six interacting with each other, especially not around the rest of the club. He couldn’t help but be a little surprised despite Ollie reassuring them repeatedly over the last year that everyone in the Devil’s Hands Motorcycle Club was nothing but kind and welcoming to him, even in his most feminine of clothing. The cynic in him hadn’t been able to fully believe it, but as he watched from a darkened corner as Ollie skipped over to where CJ and Tank were talking to the two men from before who had been hanging the banner, Houston and Rooster, each with arms around young men next to them, he had to admit that if anything, Ollie had undersold the club.

Vinnie sighed. He should go over and officially meet the boys with Houston and Rooster. He already knew who they were, Kenneth and Emmett, and quite a bit about them, but had never gotten to meet them in person.

They’d both been added to what Ollie had annoyingly named the Sub Club, their group messaging thread that used to only consist of him, Mason, Penny, and Ollie, even though Penny used to insist she wasn’t a sub. CJ had been added to it right before he and Mason had left, and then a few months later, Kenneth had been.

Over the holidays, Emmett had appeared in the thread, though he didn’t talk a lot, only commenting on things occasionally and mostly just adding laughing emojis when Ollie got particularly feisty or sent ridiculously funny memes.

It was a little weird to him that he had developed friendships with the three men before ever being in the same room with any of them, and it had always stirred a little jealousy in him when the rest of them had stories and inside jokes from events happening back in Michigan that he and Mason weren’t a part of.

Ollie had always gone out of his way to make sure they were included, telling them about things, sharing gossip about people even when they had no idea who they were, but it had still hurt sometimes, which had been ridiculous. Vinnie was the one who had dragged him and Mason away. He didn’t have the right to get upset that Ollie had made new friends, especially when he had kept up his demands of them moving back as soon as they could, letting them know over and over again they weren’t forgotten and they hadn’t been replaced.

His thoughts screeched to a halt when the group he’d been absently watching started laughing as CJ pushed Tank backward until he sat on a large, comfortable-looking recliner and then sank to his knees in front of him.

Vinnie’s mouth parted as he watched CJ take Tank’s dick out of his jeans and start giving him an enthusiastic blowjob in front of all of their friends. Some people ignored them or chuckled and shook their heads before moving on, but others stopped and watched, getting caught up in the moment. Just as the shock of it was starting to wear off and Vinnie was going to turn and head upstairs to Mason’s bedroom, where he’d stashed his stuff already, a large presence came up behind him. The same woodsy scent he’d been overwhelmed by on the side of the road under the cold February sky filled his nose and relaxed parts of him while others tensed.

“What are you doing over here in the corner by yourself?” Tomas asked softly, his mouth close to Vinnie’s ear.

“Just tired,” he said. “It’s been a long couple of days. I was thinking about heading up and getting ready for bed.”

Tomas made a thoughtful noise, and then his hands landed on Vinnie’s hips so lightly he thought he was imagining it for a second. “Things will probably stay pretty boisterous down here for a while. I don’t know that you’ll be able to get much sleep.”

“I have earplugs,” Vinnie said, his voice breathless despite how much he wanted to try and sound unaffected. “I don’t always sleep well. And they help block out Mason’s snoring.”

The sound Tomas made that time was a little more growly. “That’s not safe. What if there was a fire or something and you couldn’t hear people calling for you?”

Vinnie tried to turn to look at him, but one of those big, warm hands shot up and gripped the sides of his jaw.

“Keep your eyes on them. CJ appreciates an audience. It’d be inconsiderate for us not to watch.”

Vinnie sucked in a breath, desire pooling in his belly and groin. “What if I don’t want to watch?”

“You know the stoplight system?” Tomas asked, his lips brushing against Vinnie’s ear, his beard just barely tickling at the sensitive skin behind it. He shivered uncontrollably and nodded as best he could. “You can use it. Now or anytime in the future.”

He thought about it, thought about using a safe word, breaking free of Tomas’s hold, and running upstairs to get control of himself once more, to put physical and emotional space back between them, but then he remembered Mason’s request back in Tomas’s office and Vinnie’s promise to be open. To try.

“Green,” he whispered, and Tomas made a soft growly sound that shot lust straight down into Vinnie’s dick as it started to take notice of the highly charged air around them, not to mention the erotic scene they were watching.

They were too far away for them to hear what Tank was saying, but the way his hand was holding on to CJ’s head and his arm moved, it was obvious he was fucking CJ’s mouth more than just letting CJ blow him, and that turned him on more than the live porn itself.

“Is this one of those things you like that you’re afraid I won’t?” Tomas asked.

“No,” Vinnie said. “And I’m not afraid.”

“Sure you are, gatito,” Tomas said with a soft chuckle. “But that’s okay. I’ll show you that you can trust me. However long it takes.”

Vinnie almost scoffed. The idea that this man of all people thought Vinnie didn’t already know that he was trustworthy, that he was good , was laughable. Taking a deep breath, he gathered his courage, reminded himself that even if it didn’t work between the two of them, that didn’t necessarily mean there wasn’t someone out there who could meet both his and Mason’s needs, and then he turned around.

Tomas’s fingers tightened on his jaw for just a second before he let his hand drop away. He held both out to the sides, not touching Vinnie but not moving away. His eyebrows rose in question.

“Maybe I was afraid before, and maybe I will be again, but I’m not right now.”

Tomas’s face softened, and one of those big hands cupped the side of his face so gently he couldn’t help but let his eyes fall shut, leaning into the touch, letting the warmth soak into his skin and down to his racing heart. He didn’t know how long he’d have before Tomas turned away from him. He was going to steal every last second of it.

“You didn’t answer the question. Do you like this?”

“Watching?” Vinnie asked, forcing himself to open his eyes again. “Watching is fine. I like it well enough.”

Tomas nodded toward the show happening behind them. “Is that something you want, showing off in front of others, letting them see how much you crave it?”

He shook his head slowly. “No,” he said. “That’s the opposite of what I want. What I want is private and intense and is not for public viewing.”

Tomas cocked his head at him. “Is that so?”

“It is,” Vinnie said. “I need…”

Was he really going to say this out loud to a man he really didn’t actually know that well? Vinnie looked at the bruises on Tomas’s face, the split in his lip. He thought about the way he’d stopped and helped Vinnie change his tire, even as Vinnie had been less than grateful. He reminded himself that Tomas’s entire MC helped protect survivors against violence from their partners.

He might not know all of the dirty details of Tomas and his life—his relationship with his family, his hopes and dreams for the future, what his favorite meal was—but he knew what kind of man he was.

He knew he was trustworthy, and that meant he was trustworthy enough to share this with.

“I like humiliation,” Vinnie said clearly, forcing himself to hold Tomas’s eyes. The next part would be even harder somehow, saying out loud what he’d been holding inside for years. “And I want… No, I need discipline.”

Tomas didn’t outwardly react to his confession. Vinnie wet his lips, nervous despite telling himself that it didn’t matter if Tomas wasn’t interested, that it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

He was sure there were other big, strong, yet gentle men out there that made his knees weak with a single half smile.

Sure, he’d never found them before, but that didn’t mean they weren’t out there.

“What kind of discipline?” Tomas asked, his voice completely neutral.

“Um, different kinds,” he offered, a little surprised that the discipline was the first thing Tomas had a question about. “Spankings or…”

Tomas finished for him. “Or discipline that also involves humiliation.”

Vinnie nodded, his heart in his throat.

“But you don’t want public humiliation,” Tomas clarified. “Nothing in front of other people.”

Vinnie shook his head. “No, I’m not an exhibitionist in any way, shape, or form. Mason’s the only person who’s ever seen that side of me who wasn’t a Dom that I played with.”

Tomas cocked his head, running his eyes over Vinnie’s face. “Do you want him to see? Do you like getting disciplined in front of him?”

Vinnie sucked in a breath. No one had ever asked him that before. Sure, he’d been with Doms before where it was just the two of them, but generally, if they were trying to make a threesome work, someone who could give both him and Mason what they needed, they always assumed that because Mason loved being watched that Vinnie would too, even when he declined going to clubs and doing scenes in front of others.

No one had ever seen him . Not in that way.

“No,” he said, his voice a little broken. “I’d rather not.”

Tomas leaned in and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to his forehead. “Thank you for telling me. We can talk more about the kinds of humiliation and discipline you like another time, but I need you to hear this.”

“Okay,” Vinnie said softly, wondering when his hands had grabbed Tomas’s sides and started clutching him like he was afraid to let go.

“I’m saying yes. I need to know more of what you like to get a better idea of things, but neither of those—or anything else you have locked away—are hard limits for me. You hear me, gatito?”

Feeling like his heart was in his throat, he croaked out, “I hear you.”