Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

M ason tossed his phone aside, wiped the tears from beneath his eyes, and stood. He’d been putting off that conversation with Vinnie for days because he knew nothing would be solved from it, and he’d been right.

He wasn’t sorry he’d left and come home. Not really. Though he was sorry he’d hurt Vinnie. He never wanted to do that. It was why he’d stayed for as long as he had, even though he’d been miserable since the beginning.

But they wouldn’t be able to solve anything hundreds of miles apart. If Vinnie decided to go to Texas, they would never fix what was broken between them, but if he came home, he knew they’d have a chance.

The next couple of weeks were going to be difficult, not only because he’d be unable to stop thinking about what would happen when Vinnie’s contract was up but also because while he would have Penny and Ollie and all of the wonderful people Ollie had surrounded himself with, Vinnie wouldn’t have anyone.

And knowing that, living with the knowledge that Vinnie was by himself for the first time since he and Mason had been forced out by Vinnie’s parents, was killing him.

They’d been living together since they graduated high school, sharing every high and low, all of their ups and downs. No matter how bad things got, they’d at least had each other.

But Vinnie had to make his choice. All Mason could do was hope he came home too.

Sniffling, he scrubbed at his face and decided to head downstairs to see if he could pilfer anything decent from the kitchen. He’d been spending time each day trying to find a place to rent so he could get out of the MC’s hair, but all the places he’d looked at so far had either been in the middle of college students—and the last thing he wanted was to be up all night listening to parties or getting contact highs through the thin walls—had creepy landlords, or looked like they’d fall apart five minutes after he moved in.

And in one particular case, the “apartment” had actually been a room in a man’s house, who hadn’t stopped staring at him and made Mason extremely uncomfortable, especially when he showed him their shared bathroom.

Shared. Bathroom.

As much as he had liked living in Ridgewood in the past, he was beginning to worry he wouldn’t be able to find something appropriate, not in the timetable Tomas had given him. He was already pushing a week, and even though no one had said anything to him yet, he knew it was coming.

He was taking up space in a clubhouse that didn’t belong to him, and he wasn’t paying rent or helping out in any other way. While he did his best to keep his head down and not cause any problems, there was no way they’d forgotten he was there.

He’d thought being right next door to Ollie would at least be nice and give them a chance to spend time together. And they had a little, but his friend was busier than he’d expected. He had his job that he went to, of course, and then in the evenings, he often had obligations for things that he’d agreed to or signed up for before he’d known Mason was coming.

Mason tried not to be jealous that most of the time, Ollie was going off and doing things with CJ, or CJ, Kenneth, and Emmett. He knew Ollie and CJ had grown especially close while he and Vinnie were gone, but living in CJ’s old room and watching the two of them sit huddled together in Ollie’s room or downstairs in one of the round booths, planning Tank’s birthday party and some sort of fundraiser, he couldn’t help the surges in envy he had.

At least he’d gotten to spend some time with Penny the night before, the two of them going out to eat and catching up. He’d found out she was seriously dating a member of the MC, and she’d confessed she’d met him after Ollie had finally worn her down and convinced her to come to one of the BDSM parties.

After everything she’d gone through with her ex, Mason was, of course, ecstatic for her, but a tiny kernel of resentment was starting to grow inside him toward the Devil’s Hands Motorcycle Club. It seemed like they were invading every corner of his life somehow, stealing all of his friends and sheltering him when he had nowhere else to go. He’d been so grateful he’d been allowed to stay, but now, he was wondering if it would have been better if he’d gotten a hotel or a short-term rental.

He slowly descended the stairs, lost in his tumultuous thoughts, until he neared the bottom and heard loud voices and laughter and came to a halt. Shit, he’d forgotten Ollie had said there was going to be some sort of gathering at the clubhouse that evening and that he and Six would be attending after they got back from a dinner date.

He wasn’t in the mood to pretend to be polite and friendly, not after the conversation he’d just had with Vinnie. All he wanted was some comfort food and then to curl up with his phone to scroll mindlessly on social media for the rest of the night. Maybe he’d plan some content for his channel, too, since he was going to have to start filming again really soon, nearly out of prerecorded videos.

The only way to get to the kitchen, though, was to pass through the main area of the clubhouse. There was no way he could get from the stairs to the kitchen and back without being spotted by somebody. He wasn’t sure what would be worse, being asked to join them and feeling like he had to or not being asked and feeling like even more of an outsider.

Dejected, heartsick, and hungry, he sat on the last step and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe how far off track his life had gotten.

A year ago, he’d been so excited when he and Vinnie had agreed to go on their adventure, and that’s what it had felt like. They were going to live somewhere else temporarily, experience a big city, new restaurants, clubs, meet interesting people, and then they would come home and go back to their hunt for finding the perfect Dom for the two of them.

But as the year had progressed, it had become glaringly obvious to Mason that he and Vinnie weren’t on the same path anymore. He wasn’t exactly sure when it had happened, but based on parts of their fights, he had a feeling it was when he’d started becoming successful with his work. He hated the idea that Vinnie resented him making more money than he did, but it also didn’t make sense.

Yeah, Vinnie could be stubborn and pigheaded and occasionally even rude—though he was never cruel. He just got crabby sometimes. Vinnie had never learned how to just say what was wrong without first spending at least a few hours, if not days, being grumpy and sarcastic.

But he was also thoughtful and loving. He took care of Mason as best he could for nearly a decade. When Mason had floundered, trying to figure out his life, Vinnie had been a steady rock, supporting him and encouraging him, paying more than his fair share of the bills.

A part of Mason knew that something like this was inevitable. He’d ignored it, pretending they could go on the way they were indefinitely, but he’d always secretly known the truth, even when he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

They were too similar and yet too different, both subs desiring a guiding hand and the release that only came from completely giving yourself over to someone else but needing it in completely different ways.

There was no way they could be one hundred percent happy with only each other. But as the years had gone on and no Dom that either of them had liked or tried to bring into their relationship had worked out, the more frantic Mason had become to find their unicorn.

He was convinced the perfect man had to be out there for them, someone who could give both of them what they needed even though they were so different, but maybe Vinnie was right. Maybe holding out hope that there was someone out there, eager to explore all of the things he and Vinnie needed or wanted to try, was actually silly. Maybe he was being na?ve. Maybe he should have?—

“Are you okay?”

Mason jerked his head up, and then up a little more until he finally met Tomas’s concerned gaze. “What?”

“I said are you okay? You’ve been sitting here for quite a while.”

Mason frowned and looked around. How had he missed Tomas standing there staring at him? “Sorry, I didn’t realize… Did you need to go upstairs?”

He started to stand, but Tomas waved him off. “No, I was just finishing up in my office and checked the new security cameras.”

“You have new security cameras?” He tried to remember if there had been old security cameras, but he couldn’t recall ever seeing any.

Tomas shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning one shoulder against the hall wall. “Yeah, and I replaced the gate so that it can be remotely opened and closed.”

“Well, that seems handy,” Mason said slowly, finally spotting the camera at the end of the hall pointed toward the stairs.

“So what has you sitting here all by yourself when your friends are out there?” Tomas pointed over his shoulder with his thumb, studying Mason in that way of his that made him feel exposed and vulnerable in the best way.

He laughed without much humor. “Those aren’t my friends. I mean, Ollie is, but I don’t really know everyone else.”

He pushed to his feet. Now that someone knew he’d just been sitting there, not moving, he felt like he should go and have his existential crisis in his room.

Tomas frowned and pushed upright, taking a step closer. “You didn’t really answer my question.”

He hadn’t, had he? Sighing, he shook his head. “It’s dumb. Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Try me.”

Mason rolled his lips over his teeth, not sure he wanted to, yet the words were at the back of his throat, eager to come out and be shared. “I talked to Vinnie.”

“Is everything okay? Did you guys have another fight?” There was a furrow between Tomas’s thick brows, the lines on his forehead deepening. Even as he frowned at Mason, he was thought-stealingly handsome with his sexy beard and serious eyes.

And why was his body warming at the mere fact that this man, who barely knew him and was responsible for an entire motorcycle club, remembered that he and Vinnie had had a fight?

“Not another fight, more of an extension of the last one. I told him I wasn’t coming back, and if he wanted to try and work things out, he needed to come here and not go somewhere else for another year.”

An emotion he couldn’t pinpoint crossed over Tomas’ face before he cleared it away and nodded. “I’m sorry to hear that. Relationships are hard, but if you two are meant to be, I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

“Maybe,” he said softly, dropping his gaze to his feet. He hadn’t bothered to put shoes on, thinking he’d be able to sneak down and then right back up. He rubbed the bottom of one foot over the top of the other, feeling self-conscious for some reason. “Anyway, I just wasn’t feeling up to being around a bunch of other people, but I really wanted to get something to eat.”

Tomas didn’t say anything for a long minute, and then his black motorcycle boots came into Mason’s line of sight. “Go on back upstairs. I’ll bring you something.”

He jerked his head up. “No, you don’t have to do that. You’ve already done way too much for me. I can be a big boy and be social. It’s not that big of a?—”

“Hush,” Tomas said, one side of his mouth quirking up in a small half smile. “It’s not a big deal. My sister dropped off a bunch of tamales earlier. I’m just going to go warm some up for you. I’m not going to put together a five-course meal or anything.”

Freshly made tamales from his sister kind of sounded like a big deal, but he wasn’t sure why, really. He nodded slowly and took a step backward, nearly stumbling on the steps. Tomas’s hands shot out, grabbing his elbows and steadying him.

With a stern look, he turned Mason around to face the steps. “Watch where you’re going so you don’t get hurt.”

Mason couldn’t resist looking over his shoulder with a cheeky smile and saying, “Yes, sir.”

Tomas lowered his brows, but his lips twitched, and it was enough for Mason. He hurried up the steps and into his bedroom, looking around at the carnage he’d inflicted on the space.

Twice in the past week, he’d gone down to his car and brought up more stuff. There was still only really the bed, but now he had multiple suitcases open on the floor and clothes strewn about. His bed was also in complete disarray, looking like he’d gotten into a fight with his pillows in the middle of the night.

It turned out he was a restless sleeper when there wasn’t someone else in the bed with him.

He frantically worked to remake the bed and clean up the room, shoving stuff back into the suitcases without really paying attention to what was going where and then closed and zipped them as best he could. Then, he hustled into the bathroom and checked his appearance, fidgeting with his overly long hair and frowning at it. He really needed to get into Ollie’s chair and let him take off the little bit of length that was starting to curl. Vinnie wasn’t even there to appreciate it, so he wasn’t sure why he was hesitating.

Though he knew some of the people subscribed to his channel liked the longer hair too…

The upstairs of the clubhouse was so quiet he heard Tomas’s heavy footsteps before he reached the door and knocked, so Mason was waiting, opening the door a split second later.

Tomas stood there holding a tray with six tamales, an unopened bottle of beer, and a bottle of water. Mason quickly moved out of the way, and Tomas set the load on the end of the bed.

“They won’t be as good since I reheated them in the air fryer instead of a steamer, but I’m sure you’ll still like them. My sister’s tamales are almost as good as my abuela’s were.”

“High praise,” Mason said, closing the door to the hallway and stepping around Tomas to the edge of the bed.

Tomas glanced over at the door and then back at him, eyebrows raised. “Did you want me to stay while you ate?”

“Oh god.” Mason rushed back over to the door and whipped it open. “I’m so sorry. You brought so many tamales that I assumed you were going to eat with me. I’m sure you have much better things to do than hang out with the pathetic guest hiding out in your clubhouse. Please, tell your sister I really appreciate the food, and thank you for getting it for me. I should have said that before. I don’t think I did?—”

Callused fingers slipped over his mouth, silencing his babbling and stealing his breath from his lungs. He stared into Tomas’s laughing eyes, wondering if that salt-and-pepper beard would feel good if Tomas kissed him right then or if it would irritate his skin.

“I wasn’t sure how hungry you were, but I can stay and have one or two if you’d like.” He kept his fingers over Mason’s mouth for another moment, the air around them heating, filling with a delicious tension Mason hadn’t felt in a long time.

When he finally freed Mason’s lips, he couldn’t help but dart his tongue out to taste his bottom one. Then he sank his teeth into it, holding back a moan at the faint suggestion of tamales and cigarettes.

“I don’t want to put you out,” he whispered.

Tomas shook his head, holding Mason’s gaze captive. “You’re not. I’m a grown man. I know how to say no if I don’t want to do something.”

Jesus, why were those words sexy to him? The easy way Tomas carried himself, with such confidence and assuredness, was like an aphrodisiac to Mason, drawing him in, making him weak in the damn knees.

“I do owe you an apology,” Mason said, reaching back blindly and finding the edge of the door and swinging it shut.

“Why is that?”

“For still being here. I swear I’m looking. I just haven’t found anything that wasn’t atrocious yet.”

The corner of Tomas’s mouth tipped up. “Well, as much as it’s ruining my tough-guy reputation, I’d hate for you to have to live somewhere atrocious .”

The gentle teasing was too much for him. He couldn’t handle it. Not when he was already so off-kilter, staying in this place, barely speaking to his other half. He was discombobulated and unmoored. But the second he tipped himself against Tomas’s body, wrapping his arms around his waist and craning his head back to stare up into his surprised eyes, he felt steadier.

He knew in his gut Tomas was the kind of man who would keep a partner safe, protect them, give them support and stability, things Mason had craved since his parents had left him. Since Vinnie’s had told them they had to leave after they graduated high school. Since he realized college wasn’t for him and started bouncing from job to job.

“Mason,” Tomas breathed out as one of his hands gently cupped the back of Mason’s head. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know,” Mason said honestly. “I don’t know anything anymore. Except…”

“Except what?” Tomas asked, his head lowering.

“Except that the world makes a little bit more sense when you smile at me, even when it’s at my own expense.”

“This is a bad idea, cielito. You’re in a bad place with Vinnie. I don’t want to get between you two.”

Mason made a soft, hungry noise just at the thought, and Tomas’s eyebrows winged upward.

“What was that for?”

Mason swallowed. “You’re right. Things are a mess between me and Vinnie right now, and it wouldn’t be fair to either one of you for me to try and pursue what I’m sure would be a very delicious experience with you, but never think that the wrong place for you to be is between us.”

Tomas’s dark eyes roamed over his face, parsing through his words, and then he gave a quick nod. “I see.”

“Do you?” Mason asked hopefully.

“I think so. But this feels like a conversation that should have another person involved.”

Mason sagged, pressing his forehead against Tomas’s pec, and groaned unhappily. “You’re right. I don’t want to make things worse between me and him, and I don’t want to fuck up something that could be really good with you.”

“There’s no rush,” Tomas said softly, his fingers carding through his hair and then tightening for a brief second on the back of Mason’s neck. “There’s no timeline or deadline. You have to do what’s best for you, the both of you.”

He tipped his head back and met Tomas’s eyes once more, smiling. “Will you stay and eat with me?”

“Of course, cielito.”