5. Kai

CHAPTER FIVE

KAI

I 'd fucked up.

Again, and again, and again. No thoughts, only actions. Reckless, reckless actions that put everyone in danger.

I'd fucked up with Shauna. Phillip sported a rough black eye after I'd decked him. Maddy sold herself to buy both of us freedom. And Claire...

I'd fucked up, again and again.

"Take the next right," I said gruffly. Phillip nodded and flicked on his blinker. "You'll see the pack house before we hit the end of the drive."

Shauna shifted in her seat, anxiety rolling off her in waves as she rubbed her rounded stomach. "Kai, I'm sorry about this. We didn't mean to?—"

"It's fine," I cut her off. She'd started to apologize about ten times already, not one of them necessary.

"Who was that woman back there?" Shauna asked hesitantly. "We didn't know if we would be welcome in the pack territory here, but I scented you near there. I thought, maybe..."

I clenched my jaw through the surge of my inner wolf. He wanted to jump from Phillip's car and run straight back to Claire. Cinnamon and blackberries still clung to my clothes. I needed that scent—her scent—on my skin. In my hair. Seeping from my fucking pores.

I'd fucked up. There was only pretending to keep my shit together. One taste of her, one second of her on my lap, and every primal urge roared to life.

And then I chased her down after she'd escaped me. Like a fucking monster.

I couldn't go back there. I couldn't go anywhere near Claire.

My wolf snarled and paced and yanked on the leash of my control. I balled my hands into fists and dug my nails into my palms to keep from letting him take my skin.

I shoved out my door before Phillip killed the engine. Guilt dragged on my shoulders as I trudged towards the front door.

Rafe was going to kill me.

Shauna and Phillip followed close behind. I pushed open the door, steeling myself for what was to come.

My sister's mate stepped out of the kitchen, an apron tied around his waist. Pawbrey, Maddy's calico, wound between his legs, meowing for attention.

Any other time, I'd have cracked a joke about the domestic scene. But the knot in my stomach killed any hint of amusement.

Rafe's eyes narrowed as he took in the scene before him. "What have you done now?"

I opened my mouth, ready to explain, but Rafe's gaze shifted to Shauna and Phillip behind me. My wolf struggled under the heavy feel of dominance flowing from our alpha, but struggle he fucking did.

Claire. That was his only concern. Fuck family. Fuck the past. That asshole animal in my middle was ready to shred all sanity to get to her.

I needed to stay away.

I needed to stop fucking things up for everyone around me.

"And who are they?" A low growl rumbled from Rafe's chest. "I warned you not to cause any trouble here. Not while Maddy's on bedrest."

With an arm around my shoulders and a hand around my throat, yeah. Fucking hell, I didn't know which idea was more insulting: that I'd purposefully put my sister and future niece in danger or that I didn't give a shit.

And yet, there I was, bringing trouble to their door like a reckless fuckup.

"Rafe!" Maddy's laughter drifted from the bedroom. "Stop interrogating my brother and let him in. Fates, you're such a pain in the ass sometimes."

Despite everything, a smile tugged at my lips. Leave it to Maddy to defuse the tension.

I trailed behind Rafe, my wolf simmering beneath the surface. Watching him fuss over Maddy, adjusting her pillows and pressing a kiss to her forehead, I felt a grudging respect. The guy was decent and treated my sister like she hung the moon. I couldn't fault him for that.

But the glittering fury in his eyes? That I understood all too fucking well.

Maddy looked pale, but grinned as we filed into the room. Pawbrey abandoned Rafe to leap onto the mattress, demanding chin scratches.

That smile slipped as her focus zeroed in on Shauna's pregnancy. "Holy shit," she blurted with all the grace of a wrecking ball. "Is that yours, Kai?"

"Oh, no." Shauna snorted and shook her head. "No, Kai's not the father."

The sheer dismissal was a firm kick to the ego.

Her hand found her mate's and drew him forward. Shauna's smile softened as she looked at him, a warmth in her eyes that spoke volumes.

"This is Phillip," she said, her voice filled with pride and affection. "He's my mate and the father of our baby."

"It's nice to meet you all," Phillip said, his accent distinctly British. He'd clearly been instructed in our customs, as he canted his head in submission to Rafe first, before sweeping a tight smile to Maddy.

The frown I received was well deserved.

"Congratulations," Rafe said dryly. He crossed his arms over his chest, radiating tension. "That doesn't explain why you're here."

Shauna's gaze dropped to the floor, her fingers tightening around Phillip's. "After you two left Silver River, things were... not the best for me." Her voice was soft and tinged with old pain. "My father's position as alpha was weakened. He couldn't afford to defend his alpha title and his ruined daughter at the same time."

I felt my gut twist. Another consequence of my reckless actions. Would the list ever end?

"Then when I heard Bowen was killed, I knew I had to get out before the infighting began." Her eyes flicked up, meeting mine for a brief moment. "Phillip found me hitchhiking not even two days later."

"We planned to move back to my home in England just as soon as I finished wrapping up a few loose ends here and Shauna's paperwork processed," Phillip continued to explain. "Then the remnants of Bowen's enforcers found us, along with some from Silver River."

The room fell silent. Home, she'd said. Our old pack. I could feel the weight of everyone's stares, the unspoken questions hanging in the air. My wolf paced restlessly inside me, sensing the tension.

Shauna's voice was barely above a whisper when she spoke again. "They plan to drag me back and force me into another pairing."

Rafe's brows shot together. "But you're mated."

"A human does not count." She spat the words out like they left a nasty taste in her mouth.

I caused that. I went along with her scheme without a second thought. A pretty woman asking to get down and dirty, no strings attached? That she was the daughter of the alpha and betrothed to a vicious fucker ruling a different pack should have been massive red flags, not a dare to see who could strip fastest.

But I never blamed her. Faced with a convenient deflowering or a life as some asshole's punching bag? I'd rip my jeans getting them off.

Bowen demanded my head. Then demanded Maddy take Shauna's place because ‘used goods' were of no interest to him. Fucker.

And my sister, my cunning, infuriating, brilliant sister, bought us both time with her claims of an arranged mating with an alpha far, far away. All I needed to do was escort her to her new home, then disappear on my way back to California.

I'd fucked that up, too, by sticking around and trying to make sure my sister hadn't sold herself into misery to keep me alive.

My hand flexed at my side. Bowen was dead by Rafe's fangs, but he'd left a permanent mark when he shattered the bones.

"They need to stay here," I said, my voice rougher than I intended. "Just until they can leave. Please, Rafe."

Rafe didn't move a muscle, but his eyes slashed to where I sat and bored holes straight through my head. Probably imagining all the ways he could rip me apart for bringing this shitstorm to his door.

"Of course they can stay," Maddy said. She reached out, her hand finding Rafe's. "It's the holidays. We can't turn them away."

Rafe's jaw clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek. I could see the battle raging behind his eyes—alpha instincts warring with the desire to keep his mate happy. Finally, he let out a long, slow breath. "Fine."

The tension eased in my shoulders. Shauna and Phillip exchanged relieved looks. Even Maddy seemed pleased with the outcome.

Rafe locked eyes on mine, leaving no room for argument. "No more surprises, understood?"

I nodded, the lie bitter on my tongue. Claire's face flashed in my mind—her wide, frightened eyes as she'd stared at my wolf form.

The way her lips had felt against mine, soft and eager.

My wolf howled, desperate to claim what was ours.

I'd already fucked up so much. I couldn't drag her into this mess, couldn't risk putting her in danger.

But as everyone settled in to discuss sleeping arrangements and dinner plans, all I could think about was running back through the woods. Back to Claire. Back to the intoxicating scent of cinnamon and blackberries and shoulders that didn't tense as soon as I walked into the room.

I couldn't keep my fists to myself. I couldn't keep my wolf locked in my skin. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but something would go wrong. I would do something wrong, and Claire would pay.

I'd stay away. I had to.

But even as I thought it, I knew it was a lie.