31. Amber

“Let’s sit down,”Abigail finally says, and she guides me toward the bleachers, settling onto the cool metal bench.

I join her, saying nothing as I wait for her to continue.

“Amber,” she starts, her voice steady, despite an unmistakable undercurrent of pain. “What happened with Jax and his family was one of the hardest moments in Xavier’s and my lives. You have to understand—we were forced into an impossible situation. We did what we had to do to survive.”

I lean in, keeping my attention on her to make her as comfortable as possible.

She’s waiting for me to say something. Maybe something wise? That isn’t necessarily one of my strengths—compared to a lot of the vampires here, I’m basically a toddler—but I take a few seconds to put my thoughts together anyway.

“I’ve learned in my time in the supernatural world that we’re forced to do things we never dreamed we could have done otherwise,” I tell her. “You’ve been here for me since I arrived. I won’t judge you on what happened in your past. I promise.”

“Thank you.” She nods in appreciation, and continues, “As you know, Xavier and I were shifters before becoming vampires. What you don’t know is that twenty years ago, Xavier’s sister Jessica fell in love with a vampire. She let him turn her so they could be together forever.”

“Drinking from a supernatural is enough to get a vampire killed by the Guardians,” I say, trailing off. “Choosing to be turned…”

“It was disastrous,” Abigail says. “Jessica’s lover was hunted and killed by the Guardians. She had nowhere to go, so she hid in a cave outside Pine Valley, since Xavier and I lived there at the time. Things spiraled out of control from there.” Her eyes go distant, as if she’s seeing it play out all over again. “We were trying to protect Jessica. To help her escape to a place where she could live freely. But Jax and his wife found out.”

“How?” I ask.

“They were suspicious. So, that night, Jax, his wife, and Connor’s parents followed us to the cave, where Jessica was waiting. We tried to reason with them, but they were determined to kill her. In the chaos, Xavier and I had to defend ourselves.”

“You killed them,” I guess. “Jax’s wife and Connor’s parents.”

“We did.”

“And Jessica?” I ask.

“Killed in the fight.”

“So, the only ones who survived were you, Xavier, and Jax.”

“Killing our alpha goes against our instincts,” she explains. “So, taking advantage of Jax’s pain over the death of his family, Xavier and I ran. Jax was so stricken with grief that he didn’t come after us. But we knew he eventually would. So, we went to a witch and had her strip us of our magic, so we could live far away, as humans, and raise our daughter in peace.”

“Which is why Ruby grew up thinking she was human,” I say, the pieces fitting into place.

“Yes,” Abigail says. “Although, as you know, the moon goddess had other plans for Ruby, which is why she star touched her. And when Ruby was brought into the supernatural world, the attention was brought back to me and Xavier as well. We couldn’t protect ourselves as humans. Which is why…” She motions to herself—at what she is now.

“It’s why the two of you were turned into vampires,” I say.

“Yes.” She gives me a pained smile. “The law states that vampires can’t turn supernaturals into humans. But technically, at the time we were turned, Xavier and I were human. So, no laws were broken.”

We sit in silence for a moment, the weight of her story settling around us.

“Thank you for telling me,” I finally say. “Your past doesn’t change how I see you. What you did took strength and bravery. You did it for love. So, if anything, it only adds to my respect for you.”

Abigail smiles—a genuine smile that reaches her eyes. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

“I meant it.” I take a deep breath, since there’s one other big thing on my mind. “Did you get any of your shifter magic back after you turned into a vampire? Your earth magic?”

“No,” she says softly. “Any supernatural turned into a vampire loses their natural magic. There are no exceptions. At least, not that I’m aware of.”

“I know.” I frown, disappointment swirling inside me.

“You’re wondering if you’ll lose your sun magic if you ever choose to become a vampire,” she speaks the words I’ve yet to say. “And maybe your fire magic, assuming you have any.”

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Yes. I guess so.”

“Would you do it?” she asks. “For him?”

Him.

She doesn’t have to say his name for me to know who she’s talking about.

Damien.

And I don’t know how to answer. Because I don’t want to lose my magic. Having it eaten away by the potion already feels like I’m losing a part of myself—even though I didn’t know that part existed until a few weeks ago.

But, let’s say things do work out with Damien. Hypothetically, of course.

How would it feel to grow old while he stays the same age? To become queen, knowing my reign would be so short compared to the immortal lives of those I’ll rule? To be a temporary leader instead of a permanent one?

They’re questions I’ve tried to avoid. But they’re always there, looming in the shadows of my mind, begging to be addressed.

Abigail places a comforting hand on my shoulder, bringing me back into focus. “It’s a lot to think about,” she says, and I’m grateful to her for not pushing me to answer. “And there’s no rush to decide. Magic or no magic, you’re strong. You’ll find a way through this, no matter what path you choose.”

“Thank you,” I tell her again. “For your support, and your trust, and for looking out for me since I got here. It’s been a hard transition, to put it lightly, and it would have been so much harder without you.”

“It’s the least I can do,” she says. “I hope someone would do the same for Ruby. Despite your differences, I see a lot of her in you. I suppose it’s why the goddesses chose to star touch you both.”

“Maybe,” I agree, and not for the first time, I wish I was able to meet Ruby. Hopefully, someday soon, I will. “But still—thank you.”

We stand, and as we walk out of the gym together, there’s a sense of camaraderie between us that wasn’t there before. A bond forged in the fires of confession and mutual respect.

With people like Abigail by my side—people who have faced darkness and emerged stronger—I know I’m not alone in this fight.

When it comes to Damien, and the potential of becoming a vampire myself, I push those thoughts to the back of my mind. There’ll be time later to face those questions. To explore what I’m willing to sacrifice and what I’m determined to keep.

For now, I’ll focus on the present, and on the support I have around me.

No matter what the future holds, I’m ready to face it head-on. Because I’m strong, I’m powerful, and I’m loved.

And no matter what’s thrown at me, I will not lose my light to the darkness.