19. Amber

Back at the Fairmont,I take time to shower, change, and center myself in general.

My hands wont stop shaking, haunted by the memory of what happened with Lucas. The way he sank his fangs into my neck, pushed me down, and drank and drank and drank…

I brush my fingers against the spot on my neck where he pierced my skin.

He said he wanted to create a blood bond between us. But it didn’t feel like he was ready to stop anytime soon.

Would he have killed me if Damien didn’t get there in time?

My head’s spinning, and I don’t know how long I’m sitting on the bed thinking about all the possible scenarios with Lucas before my phone buzzes with a text.

It’s from Damien.

Dinner in my apartment?

My thumbs hover over the screen. I’ve never been to his apartment before, so the invitation feels like a big step. And while I wouldn’t mind time to myself right now, Damien did just save my life. Having dinner with him is the least I can do to show my gratitude.

Besides, I need to distract myself from the memories of what happened with Lucas.

Sure. Be there in a few minutes.

I press send before I can overthink it, and he replies with his floor number.

Lacking the energy to change out of my pajamas or dry my hair, I leave my room and enter the elevator. His floor is the highest one in the building, and when I press the button, it takes the elevator a few seconds longer than usual to start moving.

When I get to the top floor, the doors open straight into Damien’s sleek, sophisticated apartment.

He has the whole floor to himself.

I don’t know why I expected anything less.

He’s gazing out the floor-to-ceiling windows that look out over the park, his blond hair almost glowing in the moonlight, and he turns around when I enter. The jeans and soft-looking, gray sweater make him look far more approachable than the suits he usually wears, and his eyes fill with relief when he sees me, as if he was worried I wasn’t going to come.

“Amber,” he says. “I’m glad you made it.”

“It was a tough elevator ride.” I force a smile, surprised by the lightness in my tone. “But I survived.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says softly, and then the scent of something delicious floats in from the kitchen, making my stomach growl so loudly that I’m sure he heard it.

I haven’t eaten since before the incident with Lucas. I didn’t even realize I was hungry until now.

“Come. Let’s eat,” he says, and he leads me to the dining room, where two plates are already set. There are a bunch of serving dishes in the center of the table—so many that you’d think he was hosting a feast instead of a private dinner for just us.

He explains what each dish is, and as we sit and start, it’s impossible to ignore the tension lingering between us.

Finally, he sets down his utensils, his expression serious.

“How have you been feeling since the… incident with Lucas?” he asks.

I move pieces of meat around my plate with my fork, memories from earlier flashing through my mind.

The pain when his fangs pierced my skin.

The fear as he drained my blood.

The panic as I grew weaker and weaker, unable to defend myself…

“I’m okay,” I finally say. “Shaken, but okay.”

Maybe if I keep saying it, I’ll start to believe it.

“Okay,” he says, and I don’t think he believes it, either. Then, he adds, “When you think of Lucas, do you feel any… sympathy toward him?”

“No.” My stomach twists in horror. “I hate him. Why would I…?”

The answer comes to me before I can finish the sentence.

“You think he already started a blood bond between us.”

“The thought did cross my mind,” he replies.

I stop playing with my food, focusing solely on him. “I thought it took more than one time for a blood bond to form.”

“Yes, it typically takes multiple exchanges for a bond to form. But every case is unique,” he says. “Given how much he drank, I wanted to check.”

“I’m okay,” I repeat. “Really. And… thank you. For finding me back there.”

“The duskberry bond has its uses,” he says, and his expression hardens, his eyes far off. “I’m going to find Lucas,” he continues before I can ask what’s wrong. “And, once I do, I’m going to kill him for what he did to you.”

“No. We’re going to kill him,” I say. “Together.”

He says nothing, returning to his meal as silence envelops us again.

“You’re going to let me help track him down. Right?” I ask, although I have a feeling the answer is going to be a firm no.

He pauses, his fork halfway to his mouth, and sets it down gently. “Cassandra told me,” he says simply. “After we got back today.”

My heart jumps into my throat. “She told you what?”

“She told me your magic is weakening.”

I freeze, unsure what to say.

Because I didn’t realize Cassandra had noticed. And betrayal twists in my chest at the fact that she didn’t talk to me first, even though I know she reports to Damien—not to me.

“It’s true,” I say, and then I admit, “It was the potion.”

He’s completely still as he takes it in.

I can barely think, can barely breathe.I’m half prepared for… well, I don’t know what. I just know he’s pissed.

“How long have you known?” he finally asks.

“Pretty soon after I drank it.” I shrug and study the food on my plate, unable to meet his eyes.

“Look at me,” he commands, and when I do, the disappointment in his eyes makes my lungs tighten with guilt. “How are we supposed to be a team when you won’t trust me with such important information? You could have been killed, Amber. If I hadn’t gotten there in time…” He shakes his head, as if it hurts him too much to think about. “You should have trusted me.”

“I know.” It slips out of my lips immediately, since he’s right.

“It was careless, and reckless.” He’s apparently not done ramming into me yet, and I honestly don’t blame him. “You knew, and you stepped into a dangerous situation anyway. Do you want to be killed? Because I don’t see another reason why you would have acted this way.”

“No,” I say. “Of course not.”

“Then why did you do it?”

He’s staring at me now, waiting for an answer.

And, after everything, I know I have to trust him with the truth.

“I didn’t want you to see me as weak,” I admit. “The entire plan hinged on me, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. Especially given the support we were getting from the Guardians. I didn’t want to ruin that.”

His expression softens, understanding taking its place, and I relax a bit.

“Amber,” he starts, his voice gentle in a way that makes my heart twist. “Strength isn’t about hiding your vulnerabilities. It’s about trusting others to see them and help you through them. We’re a team now. You don’t have to face everything alone. I’m here for you, no matter what.”

His declaration takes me by surprise, and I suck in a sharp breath, processing the intensity of his words.

He’s here for me. We’re a team.

And he’s right. If I’d been honest with him, I wouldn’t have gotten in that situation with Lucas to start with.

“And for the record,” he continues, leaning forward, his gaze locked on mine, “I don’t see you as weak. Reckless? Maybe. But never weak. I wouldn’t want you to be my queen if I thought anything less.”

“You want me because I’m star touched,” I say, realizing it as the words escape my lips. “Not because I’m me.”

My words hang in the air, the accusation creating a sudden rift between us.

“At first, yes,” he admits, catching me by surprise.

I suppose I was hoping it wasn’t true.

So much for that.

“But now?” I ask.

“Now, it’s because of who you are.” He reaches across the table to take my hand, and his touch sends a jolt of warmth through me—a stark contrast to the coolness of his skin. “You’re brave, you’re fierce, and your spirit is unlike anything I’ve ever known. Yes, being star touched brought you to my attention. But when we were in that Labyrinth together, I realized it’s your courage, your resilience, and your heart that makes it so there’s no one else I’d want by my side but you.”

I’m speechless, my emotions a whirlwind, my hand still holding his. “Thank you,” I finally say. “That means… a lot.”

It doesn’t come close to encompassing what I’m feeling. Honestly, I don’t know what I’m feeling.

“It’s true,” he says, and when he lets go of my hand, I realize that in these past few minutes, something major shifted between us.

I’m never going to keep something that huge from him again.

“Now, we need to talk about Viktor,” he says, back to business.

“Did you see him back there?” I ask.

“No. He either made a run for it when he heard the attack, or he wasn’t there in the first place. But we’re going to get the compass back from him. And we’re going to figure out how to get that potion out of you and into it.”

I swear my magic sparks inside me at the mention of getting out the potion. “You believe what Lucas said about it being possible?” I ask.

“It’s the first lead we’ve gotten,” he says. “Plus, the compass is useful. No matter what happens with the potion, it’ll be beneficial to have it back in our possession.”

“True,” I say, returning to eating my food, since I really am hungry after all that blood loss.

A comfortable silence settles between us as we eat. Probably because Damien appears so lost in thought that I might as well not be here. Which is fine by me, given how starving I am.

“I can find him,” Damien finally breaks the silence.

“How?”

“After over a century of knowing each other, I know Viktor’s favorite spots downtown. I can ask the Guardians to search those places. It might be a tedious process, but eventually, we’ll find him.”

“You think the Guardians will help with that?” I ask. “Because as far as I’m aware, Viktor hasn’t broken any supernatural laws.”

Sure, the Guardians frown upon the fact that Viktor tried to kill me. But the job of the Guardians is to protect humans from being killed and to ensure supernaturals aren’t being bitten.

Viktor didn’t bite me. He just tried to kill me.

Which, to them, apparently doesn’t count. Especially since their laws don’t say anything about the star touched.

They seriously need to amend their laws.

“You weren’t there, but I saved Maria’s life back in Lucas’s building,” he tells me. “She owes me. Plus, I’m not asking her to go against Guardian law and attack Viktor. I’ll simply be asking her to find him.”

“It’s worth a try,” I say.

After all, anything that could result in Viktor getting what’s coming to him has my support.

Then, much to my surprise, Damien proceeds to tell me about some of the good times he had with Viktor back in the day. Everything from nights at their favorite jazz club in the Roaring Twenties, to when they entered the New York City marathon in the eighties.

“We once volunteered at a soup kitchen during the Great Depression,” he continues. “It was Viktor’s idea. We spent the day serving food, talking to people, and listening to their stories. It was humbling—a reminder of the fragility of life and the strength of the human spirit.” He pauses, as if he’s experiencing that moment all over again. “That day, I saw a side of Viktor I hadn’t known existed. I never imagined he’d turn on me.”

“That was a long time ago,” I say gently, even though it feels strange to give Damien life advice, given how short mine’s been compared to his. “People change.”

“They do,” he agrees, returning his attention to his food.

We’re finishing up when my phone buzzes with a text.

And my heart jumps when I see it’s from Morgan.