Chapter 23 - Tia

Every time we have sex, my heart seems to pull closer to him. For me, it's not just physical. I feel a connection. A connection that I am not sure he feels. He hasn't given me any clues or hints to say that he feels the same way I do, and it's really starting to scare me.

My heart is in a very dangerous place.

Soon our deal will be over. I will have to start looking for a new job, I will have to start learning to numb my feelings for him so that I can survive without him.

I can't believe I was so stupid—stupid enough to fall in love with the man who I made a very clear deal with. A deal that benefitted both of us and had nothing to do with love.

We are sitting at Leon's holiday house near the coast. The balcony overlooks a massive stretch of crystal blue water, rolling waves and bright blue skies.

It's a gorgeous day, and I should be happy.

I've graduated, I am almost finished paying my debts, my life is really good. But in the back of my mind I know that all of the things that are good are linked to Yefim.

I look over at him, playing with his nieces and nephews. They each have water pistols and are running around the garden, ducking behind chairs and blow-up pool toys, shooting each other and screaming with laughter.

A massive smile spreads across my lips. He is an incredible person. I never could have guessed just how amazing he is when I first met him.

He is everything my heart has always wanted without me even knowing or understanding that I wanted it.

I never would have guessed he was such a family man when we ‘got married.' And I never, ever, in a hundred years could have guessed that I would end up falling madly in love with him.

"Tia, don't you want to help me out here? These kids are beating me," Yefim calls out, ducking behind the firepit, making it look dramatic and wild. I chuckle.

"You're on your own. My money is on the kids, has been from the beginning. You're outnumbered," I laugh.

"That's why I need you." He stands up, his arms in the air, the colorful water pistol hanging from his finger. Three of his nephews leap up and start firing streams of water at him. He clutches his chest, staggering, gasping, rolling onto his side he does a very well-played and very over-the-top death scene while all of the kids laugh loudly and pile on top of him.

"Alright, alright guys, you got me. You win." He chuckles, standing up with a kid slung under each arm. He spins them around, then sets them down. They run off to tackle one of the other uncles. Yefim walks over to the sun loungers and grabs a big white pool towel, then walks towards me as he dries his face with it. A gorgeous smile spreads across his face, the shadow of stubble on his jaw a giveaway that he's in holiday mode.

"You got your butt kicked," I grin as he sits down next to me. He picks up his gin with one hand and grabs the side of my chair with the other, pulling me closer to him. He grabs my leg and pulls it onto his lap, running his hand up and down my skin, pushing my summer dress a little too high.

"Hey," I laugh, pulling it back down. He raises his eyebrows at me, his eyes full of mischief.

"I can't help it you look so good in this dress." He lifts his chin towards me.

"Well, let's keep the dress on while we're in public, okay?"

"Fine. If we must. Do you need another drink, baby girl?"

"Not yet. I'm still enjoying this one."

He leans back in his chair. Still stroking his hand over my leg, he closes his eyes and lets the sun warm his skin.

My heart tugs and constricts.

I'm in so much trouble.

What am I going to do when he tells me it's time to sign divorce papers?

I stare at my legs, resting on his lap.

Suddenly, I want to protect myself. I want to pull my legs up to my chest, to cover my heart. I want to wrap a thick blanket around me, to hide my emotions. But none of these things will help. It's too late for all of that.

"Guys, lunch is ready," Oleg calls out from inside the house.

"I guess I'd better change into some dry clothes," Yefim says, leaning forward. He turns towards me before he stands up, takes my face in his hands and pulls me close to kiss me. "You really do look beautiful today." Then, with a sexy smile, he lifts my legs off his lap and stands to go inside and change.

***

I sit at the lunch table, surrounded by his family, and feel so alone it makes me want to cry.

I've never had a family like this. I've never experienced this kind of closeness to a group of people. It's always just been me. Me taking care of me.

I can't allow myself to get used to this.

Sasha, Leon's wife, leans over my chair to put a fresh drink in front of me. "Why do you look like you're a million miles away in your mind somewhere?"

She smiles warmly.

"I guess I am, I'm just thinking."

"Well, I hope it's good thoughts. Come on, don't be shy, grab a plate and dish up. These guys will have this table cleared in a matter of moments if you give them half a chance."

She hands me a plate and gently squeezes my shoulder in a reassuring manner. I guess my face looked more lost or sad than I thought; I should be more careful.

Yefim arrives at the lunch table and walks towards me with a gorgeous smile. He picks up a plate and then sits down next to me. "Can I dish up for you?"

"Sure," I say as he picks up my plate.

He dishes up some chicken pieces, salad and potato bake, but not the lentil and pea salad. He remembers I don't like peas. I only mentioned it once at one of our dinners at home. But he remembers.

Why does that break my heart even more?

He places my food in front of me and then starts dishing up for himself.

When he sits down, his hand immediately goes to my thigh, and he eats with just one hand, using his fork, not wanting to move the other. Do I just relax and appreciate these moments, or do I need to start hardening my heart now already?

I reach beneath the table and thread my fingers through his. Without looking at him, I can feel his eyes on me, and a smile shines on my face.

I can enjoy these moments— for now.

But when this holiday is over I need to start taking care of my heart.

I need to pull myself together, look for a new job, start saving, and stop being in love with a man I can't have.

***

We have two more days at the beach house.

This morning, I woke up and was told we were all going out on the family yacht. Leon and Sasha have organized an amazing sundown adventure and a dive near a reef. I've never been diving before, so I'm really excited.

Yefim tells me it's one of his favorite things to do and that he knows I will love it.

Late afternoon, he takes my hand and leads me up the slipway, towards the waiting yacht. A warm breeze stirs the fabric of my dress and catches my hair, swirling it around my face. Yefim smiles at me, the sun in his eyes, making them look even bluer than ever before.

His eyes are brighter than the ocean water.

On the yacht, he stands with me at the bow, his arms around my waist as I lean my back against his chest.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" he whispers against my ear. I hear him breathing in the scent of my hair.

"It's really magical," I agree, letting myself feel safe and warm against him. Two more days, Tia. Two more days, and then you have to let go.

It takes the captain and hour to reach the dive site. Then suddenly, everyone is excitedly running around in bikinis and swim shorts, looking for their snorkels and goggles. I stand nervously at the edge of the boat.

"Just jump," Yefim laughs, and I shake my head.

"I'm a little bit scared."

"Of what?"

"Sharks." I laugh, knowing I sound silly.

"We'd be really lucky if a shark came by. It's something really special to see."

"Are you crazy?" I say loudly, and everyone laughs at me. Playful, teasing.

"There aren't any sharks, Tia. And the captain has a shark radar on the boat, he will shout if he sees anything," Sasha shouts from in the water. She was the first one in.

She looks confident and at ease in the blue ocean.

Yefim takes my hand. "I'll jump with you," he says, nodding.

"Okay."

"On the count of three?"

"Okay." I swallow nervously.

"One—" Yefim picks me up in his arms and leaps into the water. I scream my lungs out in fright. We plunge beneath the surface. The water is warmer than I thought it would be, but it's still a shock to my system.

He pulls me up above the surface, and the first thing I hear is his laughter.

I use the flipper I'm holding to whack the side of his head, but his face is so bright with happiness that I can't help laughing, too.

"You asshole," I grin as he holds me steady in the water so I can slip my feet into the flippers.

"I left my goggles up on the boat," I sigh.

Leon shouts at one of the crew members and the goggles are tossed overboard into the ocean. Yefim swims to grab them.

He helps me put them on. They feel tight on my face and pull my lip up. I laugh at myself and the glass fogs.

"Breathe through your mouth, it'll stop the fogging."

I nod.

"Ready?"

"Ready," I agree.

He takes my hand, and with a deep breath, he dives beneath the surface, pulling me with him, into an entirely different world filled with colorful fish, bright ocean plants, corals and snails.

It's gorgeous. It's better than any of the photographs I've ever seen.

I can't get enough of it.

Whenever we go up for air, Yefim immediately pulls me protectively into his arms so that I can rest without treading water.

We dive for over an hour, until I'm shivering and have to get out.

As soon as we are back on the yacht, dripping went and smiling from ear to ear, one of the crew hands me a towel and a drink.

"It'll warm you up," she smiles, then hands the next person the same.

Yefim pulls me into his arms, rubbing my arms to get the blood flowing. "Come shower with me, then we'll come up for dinner and enjoy the sunset."

I feel really naughty in the shower when Yefim lifts me into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist, and slides his cock inside me.

I keep thinking someone will hear, but he just laughs and fucks me harder.

It's quick, intense, and beautiful—and it makes me fall in love with him even more.

We laugh, tease each other, enjoy each other—and in two days I have to walk away from it all.

Honestly, I don't know how I am going to last two more days with the heaviness that is drawing against my heart.

If we weren't on this vacation together, I might sneak away in the middle of the night without a word, too scared to face the pain it is going to cause me to look him in the eye and hear him says ‘please sign this' as he hands me divorce papers.

After dinner, Yefim and I move away from the rest and lean against the boat railing, his arms always tight around me, his chin resting on top of my head as we watch the very last pale light fade from the sky as the boat heads back to the harbor.

"I loved every minute of today," Yefim says, his hand resting on my skin, the warmth burning beneath it.

"Me too," I admit, almost reluctantly, my heart full of fear.

***

Back at the beach villa, I realize I can't keep pretending everything is okay.

And even though it is the last thing I want to do, I start slowly creating distance between Yefim and myself. Every time he touches me, I sort of pull away. It breaks my heart, deep cracks forming in my soul, but I have to do it.

I know he can see what's happening, but in all honestly, I don't think it matters to him that much.

Our deal is almost over, and once I'm gone, I'm sure he can easily find someone to replace me.