Chapter 10 - Winter

“Is…is this what you want?”

The words barely escaped Winter's lips. They still tingled where Eddie had been kissing her only moments earlier. In fact, they felt almost bruised by his passion, and she loved every second of that feeling.

Her eyes still closed, she enjoyed the warmth of his forehead against her own. His closeness, the scent of him—she didn't want this moment to end.

She wanted more, so much more. Every muscle in her body ached with desire for him.

Her legs open, she craved for him to yank off her jeans and take her right there on the desk, just as he had in her dreams.

She even gave herself a little pinch on the thigh.

No, this most definitely wasn't a dream. And when Eddie finally answered, she knew for certain that it wasn't. If this had been her dream, there was no way in hell it would have ended this way.

Eddie pulled back suddenly, causing her to catch herself on the edge of the desk, her eyes flashing open.

The look of indecision on his face was painful to her, making her chest tighten and her stomach twist.

“I'll do whatever it takes to protect the town and my pack,” Eddie said, his tone sounding as if he spoke through gritted teeth.

Was that all this was? Was his kissing her some way of preparing for the job they had to do?

No, Winter couldn't believe that, and yet she wasn't about to go pouring out her heart to a guy who was unwilling to do the same.

Steeling herself, she forced herself off the desk to stand before him.

“You're right. We should wait for the full moon.”

Eddie's gaze darkened, and she wondered whether he might have changed his mind.

Before he could do so, she added, “There might still be a way out of this. We shouldn't do anything foolish. Besides, if we did anything now, it might mess with the spell.”

She was talking simply to fill the silence, nervous about what all of these feelings inside her might be. But her words hurt even her, and she was sure she saw a hint of the same feeling written on Eddie's face.

This can't be it, Winter thought, biting the inside of her lip.

Just like any little girl, she had imagined what it would be like to find the one she was fated to spend the rest of her life with. When she imagined finding her mate, she had always thought she would mate for love.

True, unabating, unconditional love was the most powerful thing in the world, even to witches. This couldn't be it. And yet, she had little choice. She had gotten herself into this situation. She couldn't very well get herself back out of it, even if it was clear that Eddie was only doing this to protect those he truly loved.

Maybe I should run? Winter thought for the blink of an eye. She had never been the kind who would run away from her problems. She liked to face things head on. It was how she had been raised. But this, somehow, felt like something bigger than she had ever faced before.

Maybe running wasn’t a bad idea. She could always go and lay low with her mother and grandmother for a while until the full moon had passed. Then Jack and the others would be forced to wait for the next one and she might actually be able to find another way.

There was a whole library of books at her grandmother's house three hours away that had yet to be tapped into. Perhaps there was something there they could use.

Her mind reeling once more, Winter crossed her arms defensively over her chest and said, “I think perhaps you should go.”

Eddie took a step back, almost as if she had slapped him.

The old Winter might have actually laughed at that, but the new Winter felt more guilt than she cared to admit. And so, she stood firm, meeting his gaze daringly, a part of her wishing he would say no and get right back to mauling her.

When he said nothing, she backed herself up firmly. “We've looked enough for one night. I'll start again in the morning.”

Half-turning away, she made to pick up her phone and her bag, hoping he might get the hint and simply leave.

Yet, she was surprised when he offered, “I can come back and give you a hand. I have some downtime.”

Shocked, her head whipped back around and she snapped, “I work faster on my own.”

Shit! she thought angrily, wishing she could take it back immediately. But Eddie stepped away again, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair.

In the dying light of the fireplace, he looked more tempting than ever, and it took Winter all she had in her not to go to him and apologize, not to grab him and kiss him the way he had kissed her.

“I guess I'll leave you to it, then,” he said, folding his jacket over his arm. “I'll see you on the full moon?”

“Hopefully not.”

The words left Winter’s lips on instinct, and the pain that lanced through her chest at saying them was almost unbearable.

The tension in the room was so heavy now that she barely managed to remain on her feet. Her knees trembled so badly they threatened to buckle.

What is wrong with me? Why am I being so combative?

Eddie turned and started towards the door as if there was nothing left to say, but as he reached for the doorknob, he looked back at her and said, “You know, if you didn't want to do this, you shouldn't have volunteered.”

His words stung Winter more than she ever imagined possible, and again, she felt the urge to go to him, to tell him the truth and put an end to this huge, gaping void between them. What it was filled with, she couldn't be sure, but it was there, and she hated it. She wanted to hide from it for fear it might swallow her whole.

“Like you said, we're doing this for the town,” Winter said, lifting her chin high. She met his gaze, daring him to contradict what he had said earlier.

But he didn't. Instead, he simply opened the door and slipped out, closing it behind him. The sound of that door closing was deafening to Winter’s ears, and she stood there for minutes afterwards, just wishing she could take it all back.