21. Mina

"What?"

I couldn't believe it. The idea was ludicrous.

Dorothy Ingram wouldn't have a secret tryst with anyone. I'm pretty sure she thought the very act of sex itself was immoral and should be reserved only for making babies. And Wayne was married to the lovely, patient Nora. Why would he sneak around behind her back…with Dorothy?

But Morrie was laughing so hard that he was choking, so it must be true.

"So this is the big secret that you've been keeping, Dorothy?" Morrie asked between gasps. "You told everyone that you've been looking after your sister in Grimdale to account for your absence when all the while, you and Wayne have been sneaking off for the Battle of Balls Deep."

I couldn't help laughing at that.

"Get off my shirt, you fool," Dorothy Ingram snapped at her paramour as they struggled to hide themselves.

"Well, maybe if you got your claws out of my arm, I could stop being in excruciating pain long enough to help you."

"You know, you don't have to worry about your clothes," I said. "I'm blind, so I can't see you, and Morrie here has seen much more salacious things in his life than a couple of people fucking in the groundskeeper's shed."

"We were not fucking," Dorothy spat. "How dare you…you…"

"She's right, Dor," Wayne said. "We were fucking like rabbits, and now Mina Wilde knows our secret, and she's going to take great pleasure in spreading it all over the village. She'll probably put it in the introduction of her book, make sure everyone gets a copy of it on her book launch?—"

"I canceled my book launch," I said, the words tasting like dirt. "And I don't see why you're mad at me when you're the one cheating on your wife."

"What do you want to keep this secret?" Dorothy asked, her voice dripping with ice.

"Nothing much. Mina only wants to ask you something, and she requires a truthful answer." Morrie nudged my arm. "Go ahead, gorgeous."

"We found your footprint in Maisie Collins' garden," I said. "Right next to where someone cut a hole in a cage and took her prizewinning duck, James Pond. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"So that's why I haven't heard that incessant quacking at all hours?" Wayne grumbled. "No, I didn't take Maisie's duck. I sneak through the back gardens to come here to see Dorothy so that no one sees me on the street. That's probably how my footprint got there. We've been meeting here for…for weeks now."

"Oh." I believed them. I mean, we did find them in here, naked. And they'd done a great job of sneaking around. Not even Mrs. Ellis had caught on to this juicy village gossip.

But if Wayne didn't duck-nap James, I was back to square one again.

"What about your cat?" I asked Wayne. Morrie had said that he hadn't found duck remains in Wayne's garden, but I knew from my grandmother's stories that cats would often leave their kills in other locations around the village to show off to other cats. "He seems to enjoy birds, and he's big and tough. He could break open a cage if he was determined enough. Have you seen him with any duck feathers?"

"Hercules? No, but I don't exactly track his movements, do I? He's a cat. He comes and goes as he pleases?—"

Just then, a flapping noise landed on the roof, followed by some footsteps outside.

Mina, Mina,Quoth called inside my head. Heathcliff's out of jail! They figured out the text messages didn't even come from his phone, they were just made to look like they did?—

"What's going on in here?" Heathcliff's voice boomed behind me.

I threw myself at him, landing hard against the solid wall of muscle that was his chest. He cried out in surprise, but his arms went around me and he tipped my chin back and crushed his mouth to mine.

The whole world stilled around me, all the worry and fear of the last few days becoming a meaningless hum far, far away as Heathcliff's lips slanted over mine. One of his hands tangled in my hair while the other slid down the curve of my arse. He tasted of wild places and dark, wanton thoughts, and when he parted my lips and slid his tongue over mine, I made a sound that was every bit as debauched as what Dorothy and Wayne were doing.

For days, I'd been worrying that I wasn't good enough, but the way Heathcliff kissed me made me feel as if I didn't have to be anything, that I was all he ever wanted, just the way I was.

"I missed you," Heathcliff growled against my lips.

"Hey, Heathcliff's here," Morrie said.

"Goody," Wayne muttered.

"Save some sugar for me, big guy."

"Croak," Quoth added from his perch on the roof.

"Arf?" Oscar circled my feet.

I broke the kiss to bury my face into his shoulder. His peaty, spicy scent was tinged with the grubby concrete of the cells – a smell I was unfortunately all too familiar with from our numerous brushes with the Argleton police department. "I'm so happy you're back."

"Why are Wayne and Dorothy half-dressed inside the groundskeeper's shed?" Heathcliff peered over my shoulder.

"That's an excellent question, my friend," Morrie said. "One that deserves a detailed response. But right now, we should probably get on to that urgent secret wedding business, shouldn't we?"

Three beats of silence.

Doubt gnawed at my stomach.

"Yes," Heathcliff said slowly. "Quoth, why don't you take Mina back home? Morrie and I have some secret wedding business to do."

"Croak."

A moment later, I felt Quoth's talons sink gently against my shoulder. I nuzzled his feathers. I didn't want to leave Heathcliff, but he was already moving towards Morrie. The doubt inside me became a roar. Why did they still have secrets from me?

But I wasn't going to talk about it in front of Dorothy and Wayne. Besides, I'd gotten my answer. Wayne wasn't our duck-napper. Now I had to think of a new angle.

"Okay, let's go home. I'll see you both later." I shot Morrie what I hoped was a withering glare. "We've got a lot to talk about."

Mina, are you okay?Quoth asked as I stormed back across the square.

"No, I'm not okay. Someone killed Iwan and tried to frame Heathcliff, and the three of you are hiding things from me. Don't get your feathers in a knot. I won't make you tell me and risk incurring the wrath of Heathcliff. But they want me out of the way for whatever reason. Well, fine. I still have a case to solve, and one more avenue of investigation open to me. We need to interrogate Hercules, and I know just the agent for the job."

"Let me get this straight,"My grandmother crossed her elegant ankles in front of the fire and ran her fingers through her silken black hair. "You want me, a nymph, an actual half-goddess, to stalk through the neighborhood after some randy tomcat?"

"If all that yowling under our window and the litter of kittens underfoot are any indication, you like randy tomcats."

"Excuse me, but I'm spoken for." Grimalkin pointed to the bright red bauble hanging from her new jeweled collar, which became a choker around her neck whenever she transformed. "What boon will you give me in exchange for this favor?"

"Can't you do it out of the goodness of your heart?"

"I'm a cat, darling. I have no heart."

Sighing, I opened my purse and placed one tin of the fanciest shredded salmon on the table beside her. When my grandmother made no noise, I added a second can.

She sighed. "Fine. But don't make a habit of this. I have my dignity to maintain."

With that, Grimalkin shrank into her clothes. A moment later, her tailored dress and wedge-heeled boots crumpled to the floor, and a sleek black cat darted out from beneath them.

A moment later, the cat door jangled. Quoth, back in his human form, moved to the window to watch. "There she goes. I bet it won't take her long at all to get to the bottom of this."

"I hope so." I sank down in Heathcliff's chair, feeling about a foot tall. So far, I'd proven myself a complete failure at locating James Pond. Maisie must still be worried sick. But if Grimalkin could help us find out what happened, then maybe I could prove that I could still be a useful, creative, clever person.