TEXT MESSAGES BETWEEN MORRIE AND MRS. ELLIS

Good evening, Mrs. Ellis. Are you still at the pub?

Of course. The covers band are just finishing up their final set. I'm hoping to go home with the drummer.

I wish you all the best in your amorous endeavours. I wondered if you might be able to help us with something?

As long as it doesn't cut into my shagging time.

I don't think you'll have any trouble. I want you to spread the word around the village that Heathcliff is expecting a shipment of very expensive chocolate tomorrow morning at precisely 10AM at Lachlan Hall, and that he's sent all the security home for the day off, and Cynthia and her staff would be busy all day with the closing ceremony for the National Trust conference on the other end of the estate. I want you to make especially sure that Wayne Bryant and Dorothy Ingram hear about this. Can you do that?

Consider it done.

Done.

Already? Or are you referring to the drummer?

A word of wisdom from your elders, James – don't ask questions for which you do not truly wish to know the answers.