CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE Hunter

N either one of us said much as we made our way out of town. I ran into Ben at Jill's Diner yesterday, and we'd agreed to ride together to Jay and Jennie's who lived in Culbertson. I'd picked Ben up at the clinic ten minutes prior because he wasn't keen on driving his truck much after the flat tire.

"Jennie's having a boy," he said, finally breaking the silence. "They don't want to know the gender until the baby arrives."

I laughed out loud, relaxing a bit. "And you told me?" I asked. "That was trusting."

"You're the Sheriff. You'll keep the secret." I didn't respond to his certainty, but he was correct. I was an excellent keeper of secrets. We drove out of the city limits and past my house on the highway. "Bella okay at home?" he asked, noticing my place on the left as we zipped by.

I liked how he remembered Bella's name. Animal lovers were good partners. So I'd been told by who knows who. Actually, it was Mark who'd told me that. "She's used to me being gone a lot. Doggy door," I added, hoping he knew what a doggy door was.

"Good idea," he agreed, nervously folding and unfolding his hands in his lap. "Are you supposed to use this sheriff's truck for personal events?" he asked, turning to face me and pivoting our conversation from pets to business. "Or is this your only car?"

I was tempted to correct him on two items. One. This wasn't a sheriff's truck. It was a Chevy Tahoe, converted for law enforcement use. It wasn't a car either, was number two. But my brain knew better than to seem petty. I'd been married to a man similar to him. He hadn't liked being corrected on bullshit things. And once again, I assumed Ben was the same.

"I have a Jeep as well. But I save money by using my county vehicle instead," I answered, glancing at the fuel gauge. "Shoot! Speaking of," I said. "We're nearly out of gas."

"You can do that?"

"I can," I fibbed. "Well, as long as I have official business," I added, emphasizing the word official.

"So this date is an official act of business?" he asked, surprising me by referring to this as a date. "You're telling me that the county is paying for us to drive to an attempted set-up?"

I turned toward him before checking the road again. "You knew?" I asked, checking on oncoming traffic again. As usual, there wasn't any. It was Friday at seven PM. If you weren't at Smitty's or home. You were a tourist. And we didn't get tourists.

"I saw Jennie earlier in the week. The baby thing," he said, catching me up. I wondered if she'd told him about her vision. "She enlightened me about the fact that your husband came to her with a request. Some sort of vision."

Oh shit! He knew . "She actually told you?" He nodded. "And you still agreed to go over there? With me?"

"Are you kidding me?" he asked. "Do you seriously think I wouldn't heed the advice of a clairvoyant?"

I wanted to burst out laughing, but I wasn't sure if he was being serious. "Jennie Hayes? A clairvoyant?"

He gave me a quite serious return stare until he burst out laughing along with me. He raised his hand for me to stop laughing while he struggled to regain his composure. "I'm sorry," he choked. "I'm not laughing that this is Mark she was talking about. But Jennie came across as quite convincing."

I gave him the same serious look. He stopped laughing, returning my stare as if he'd overstepped or simply stepped in it. I couldn't hold my laugh in, practically spitting. "Trust me. Setting me up with someone else sounds like something Mark would do."

"No way I would do it. Even if I was dead," he admitted. "If my husband looked like you, not a chance! And sorry about the being dead comment," he added.

His direct comment caught me completely off guard. Not the part about if he was dead. I understood he wasn't being insensitive on purpose. But it'd been a while since a man had thrown me a compliment. Instead of thanking him, or even delving deeper into his nice words, I fumbled my chance.

"We need gas," I stated, checking the gauge again. "Skeeter's is just ahead."

"You're nervous, aren't you?" he asked.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked, wondering if he thought we were on a date. "Whatever this is," I said, gesturing between us. "I haven't done anything like it in over two years."

"Is that why the calendar on your kitchen cabinet still read June, from two years ago?"

My heart seized when he mentioned the calendar. I'd felt good that I'd finally thrown it away, but I also felt guilty over my decision to start living again. "Mark died that month," I whispered.

"I know, Hunt. I'm sorry too."

"Are we on a date?" I blurted out, pulling into Skeeter's gas station.

He hesitated before speaking. "We could be. You know, if you want it to be."

I pulled next to a gas pump and put the Tahoe in Park. "At least to humor Jennie?"

"At least," he agreed. "Plus, don't forget Mark."

I found myself gazing into Ben's eyes. Eyes that had the ability to bring me to my knees. His eyes were exactly those of Mark's and I began to wonder if perhaps little Miss Jennie Hayes knew what the fuck she was talking about.

Ben's eyes widened as he looked past me. I turned to the window to find Charlie standing there. The Tahoe had heavily tinted windows for security, so seeing inside was difficult. I knew for a fact that Charlie hadn't seen Ben.

I rolled the window down when Charlie tapped on it. "What's with the window, stud? Hiding someone from…." Charlie froze and stopped talking for a second. "Me?" he finished, noticing my passenger.

"Hey, Charlie," Ben greeted, seeming as cool as a cucumber.

"I need a fill-up, Skeet," I said. "I'll pay for this one in cash," I added.

"Why?" he asked. " Personal business?"

"Yeah. Sort of," I agreed.

Charlie leaned into the SUV, basically talking right over the top of me. "Where you two going, doc?"

Ben looked at me, hesitation in his eyes. "Jay and Jennie's," I answered, protecting Ben from any discomfort he may be feeling.

"Those two lovebirds having another bar-b-que? I haven't heard about a party," he stated. "I musta pissed Jennie off. She's never liked me all that much. Thinks I'm a fuck-up."

"That's not true," I defended. "Jennie is not that way, Skeeter," I corrected, wriggling uncomfortably in my seat.

"Yeah? You gonna stick with that?" he countered. "Whatever you say, sheriff ," he added, hostility in his voice. "We both know why she hates me."

"Premium please," I said, changing the subject.

"Right away, boss-man ." He did not immediately step away from the window. "So?" he asked, turning to me, inches from my face, and then to Ben. "What is this?"

"We're being set up, Charlie," Ben stated. "Jennie has a hunch about us two."

The look on Charlie's face settled any question I had about how he'd react to Ben's admission. The space between his eyebrows furrowed deeper than a canyon, and red painted his neck before racing straight to his forehead.

Ben had zero knowledge of my past with Charlie, and I didn't have a reason to perhaps… brush over such a truth bomb. How could he know Charlie had been in love with me for as long as Mark had been? Not to mention the fact that Charlie had set his eyes on Ben and had just accompanied him to Missoula. I'm sure to take a shot at Ben before I woke up and did the same.

This was going to be an issue that would have to be confronted if Ben and I ever became more than friends. Or, if they became something instead. Charlie was sexy. There was no doubt Ben could be attracted to him. Who wouldn't be? Hell, I'd been, and perhaps still would be, if we hadn't fucked-up our chances by trying something so soon after Mark's death.

"Sounds like Jennie," Charlie hissed. "Always making sure to cut my ass outta the picture."

"Be fair, Skeet," I soothed. "Jennie Hayes is a good person."

"Jennie Hayes is a conniving bitch," he argued. "Hiding under her religion as some perfect angel. Bullshit! She knows what's she doing. She just doesn't want me to get my shot."

"Come on, Skeet," I said.

He laser focused on me. "You know something, sheriff? I'm kinda sick of you calling me Skeet like we're all tight and friendly like," he growled. "You never gave me a fair shot, so maybe I want in on whatever this is," he said, gesturing between Ben and me. "Is this a date, doc?" he pushed. "Are you on an official date with the Sheriff here?"

I thought Ben would be shocked, or stunned, perhaps angry. His answer proved he could hold his own. "I'm not sure, Charlie," he stated. "I'm going over to a patient's house for dinner after an invite. She included Hunter, and he offered to drive. So, maybe it is a date."

"I'm not sure it's an actual date," I contradicted. "You know how nice Jay and Jennie are. I'm sure they're just wanting to welcome the new doctor."

Charlie looked at both of us one more time. He did not appear satisfied with either attempt at clarification and tapped on the door's edge. "Premium, right?" he mumbled, backing away. I nodded. "Coming up, sheriff. Anything else?"

I shook my head and handed him a hundred-dollar bill. "Thanks, Charlie."

"Yeah. Sure thing," he responded.

Thankfully, the gas cap was at the other end of the Tahoe. Ben and I sat silently in the cab while Charlie filled the tank, with neither of us willing to discuss the elephant in the room. After ten minutes of silence, Charlie came back with my change.

"Thanks, Charlie," I said. "I appreciate it."

"Sure," he mumbled, turning and walking back into the station.

I turned the ignition key and waited for the Tahoe to come to life. After a few seconds, Ben remaining quiet, I pulled back onto the highway. Jay and Jennie lived a mile or so away, but I worried neither of us was in a good state of mind for dinner.

"Why did you do that?" Ben asked.

"What?"

"Why did you say that this wasn't a date? You protected Charlie's feelings," he pointed out. "Which is nice, I guess, but why?"

"That's a long story, Ben," I whispered.

"One I'd prefer knowing if you ever want an actual date. Aren't that the words you used? ‘ We're not on an actual date .' Wasn't that it?"

"You'd go on an actual date with me?" I asked.

"Yes. I actually would."

"Charlie likes you, Ben. Or at least he doesn't want me to like you. I'm not exactly sure, to be honest with you."

"I'm sorry that Charlie's feelings are hurt, Hunt," he replied. "But I have a better question. Do you like me?"

I was silent for several seconds, worried whether I could seriously take the next step. Could I date another man? Would I be able to truly set my past life with Mark aside and discover a new relationship? Could I love again, or was this going to be another Charlie event in my life? I'd led Charlie on and fucked with his mind while I fucked through my pain. Would Ben be more of the same?

We pulled into Jay and Jennie's driveway. I turned the Tahoe off and sat staring through the windshield. "Yes, I do like you, Ben."

He remained quiet and still while we both took the news in. I was frozen in my seat after admitting I liked him. A lot.

Ben turned to face me. "Why don't we go inside and see what Jennie has to say about all this?" he suggested. "Maybe she can help me figure out if I can move forward like you're attempting to do."

"You're trying to move forward, too?" I asked.

"Yep," he responded. "From a lot of things."

"From a person?"

"Just like you, Hunt. From a person," he said.

"Because you like me?"

"Because I like you."

The emotion of hearing him say he liked me settled in my chest. For the first time in two years, I felt something in my heart that had shut down. Was there space for Ben inside my heart? A vision of Mark invaded my fears. He was smiling his goofy smile of his. The one that had captured my heart from when we were kids.

Mark only smiled that way when he was truly happy.