5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Mason

Pregnancy sucked for a lot of reasons. I was nauseous anytime my stomach was empty, my back was always killing me, and my already high sex drive was now through the fucking roof, which was especially a bitch since, up until now, my partner lived halfway across the globe. But at least my pregnancy gave me a convenient excuse to run to the bathroom instead of dealing with whatever fresh hell fate had cooked up for me this time.

I had accepted the fact that I’d be living with Lucian, but after almost six years apart, I wasn’t prepared for the wave of emotions I felt when I saw him. It took every ounce of my self-control to keep myself from running to Lucian Castillo instead of Sebastian. And, after everything I had done to him, Lucian deserved better.

Ashamed wasn’t a strong enough word to describe my embarrassment. That’s why I had to run away, and thanks to the fetus growing in me, no one had batted an eye at my sudden emergency. I turned the water on as cold as it would go before bracing my hands on the porcelain sink and forcing eye contact with myself in the mirror. My makeup had been reduced to watery trails on my cheeks, a casualty of the panic attack I had quietly endured in one of the stalls.

“He deserves better than you.” I pointed at my reflection, furrowing my brow to look angry rather than disappointed.

Sebastian had been nothing but wonderful to me. He flew to France just to visit me. He sent me care packages to sneak me the snacks I craved, things my father forbade me from having so I could negate the weight gain from my pregnancy. Seb was the one who called me beautiful and held back my hair the countless times I threw up before we figured out a system to keep my nausea at bay. I had no reason to want anyone else, until I saw Lucian. Seb was my knight in shining armor, and I was the spoiled rotten princess who’d never be happy with anything.

I exhaled a shaky breath before grabbing a few paper towels, wetting them under the arctic water, and wiping my face. The damp chill worked to gnaw away at the looming anxiety threatening to force me to melt down. Once I had scrubbed away the remaining traces of makeup, I turned my attention to the hair tie around my wrist.

Without thinking, I pulled the band back as far as it would go and snapped it against my wrist. A red welt bubbled up, barely visible between the tattoos I had gotten to cover scars of the past. In a life like mine, there were very few things I could control. Pain had always been the one thing that was mine and mine alone. But I also knew how vehemently upset Sebastian would be if he knew I had been hurting myself like this every time I got overwhelmed. I quickly removed the elastic from my wrist and tied my hair into a messy bun before pulling my hood up.

As much as I’d love to hide from the father of my child and ex-lover forever, that was impractical. Until I got home, at least—then I could hide in Sebastian’s apartment indefinitely. All he needed to do was finish the homicide case he was working on, and then we’d move to Portland and have the white-picket-fence-nuclear-family-happily-ever-after that I never wanted, but my daughter deserved.

With one last deep breath, I straightened my hoodie and prepared to walk out of the room with my shoulders held high. But my air of confidence dissipated when I opened the door to find someone waiting for me on the other side: Lucian Castillo, leaning against the wall between the men’s and women’s restrooms. His arms were crossed, and he looked pissed. A nervous hum escaped my lips as my heart leapt to my throat. Part of me debated running back to the safety offered by the women’s restroom. Ultimately, Lucian was unavoidable. No matter how well I hid at the house, I still had to sit through a car ride with him.

His abyssal eyes locked on mine. We were in a completely sealed area, full of artificial heat and the warmth of thousands of bustling bodies, but his gaze whipped up a winter wind between us, one that chilled me to my core. I nervously ran a hand along my cheek as if I was trying to slip hair behind my ear, but there was nothing to sweep back. My hair was still in a bun.

So much for acting casual.

I swallowed hard as Lucian pushed himself off the wall and began stalking toward me. His jaw was tight, causing the veins in his neck to bulge under his golden skin. My heart fluttered in his presence, and breathing suddenly became a manual task. But oxygen became a foreign concept the second his fingertips grazed my cheek. The warmth of his skin flowed into mine, causing my cheeks to burn like the sun as I focused on how rough his hands were.

Sophia once told me she believed Lucian and I were soulmates. She had read something in a book and asked me to do a tarot card reading, one that only proved her hunch. You two were written in the stars, she used to say. And maybe she was right. From astrological signs to goals and aspirations, Lucian and I had always been a match. This used to be a badge of honor for me, but now it felt like a lead weight of shame pinned directly on my chest.

I stood motionless for what felt like an entire lifetime as he inched forward, examining me like someone would a painting. His breath smelled like cinnamon gum.

“What are you doing?” My question was just above a whisper, nowhere near loud enough to be heard above the ambient cacophony of the airport.

His fingers wandered down to my chin, turning my face side to side.

“Mason-fucking-Albright.”

Never had I heard my name spoken like a swear, but I couldn’t blame him for his animosity. It was I who left without so much as a goodbye; if I had been a good person, maybe I would have had the decency to send him a break-up text on my way to the airport. He released me, letting his hand trail down to rest on my stomach. My first instinct was to swat him away, but after months of hiding my pregnancy… This small gesture felt good.

“How far along are you?” He rushed through his words.

“Twenty-six weeks tomorrow.”

Lavender kicked at just the right time to prove a point, and Lucian yanked his hand back like he touched something gross.

“That’s not…. Seb didn’t put that there, right?”

I looked down at my stomach, “Put what where?”

When I looked back up, Lucian turned away, but not before I noticed the subtle flush in his cheeks.

“You’re too smart to be that dumb,” he grumbled. “The fetus. It’s not his, is it?”

“She,” I corrected.

When Lucian looked back, his brow had knit together. “She’s not his, right?”

What did it matter if she was? Sebastian was my boyfriend, and he would fill the role of her father. But I had never been a good liar, so rather than embarrassing myself, I just omitted the fact that Lucian’s boyfriend was the one who knocked me up.

“You won’t be an uncle anytime soon,” I assured him. “I met a guy at a concert, and, well... oops.”

I forced a small smile and a shrug. Lucian seemed satisfied by the answer, and the tension in his shoulders dropped ever so slightly.

“That’s hard, and I’m sorry.” He breathed.

Why the fuck was he being nice to me? It’s not like I deserved it. But, just as I started to wonder if time had actually changed Lucian, our solitude was disrupted.

“There you are!” Cameron’s now familiar drawl hit my ears. “I was just wonderin’ where you ran off to.”

“Just so you know, he’s talking to me, not you ,“ Lucian warned. “You’ve been gone for six years. I’ve moved on, and I’m completely fine.”

I should have taken comfort in his words. That’s exactly what I had wanted for him—why I left in the first place. This was a good thing. Still, a weird pit was forming in my stomach.

“I’m glad,” I said, still trying to convince myself. At least I had full confirmation that I was entirely replaceable.

Lucian scoffed once again before walking away from me and embracing Cameron. His willowy arms draped around Cameron’s neck before he pulled him in with a kiss. Years ago, when I was lucky enough to be polyamorous, watching my partners kiss was one of my favorite things. Seeing the people I loved being in love was beautiful. Now, as I watched Lucian with his boyfriend, an unfamiliar yearning caused me to ache.

Maybe coming back to America was a mistake.

The wheels of my suitcase scraped across the parking lot as Sebastian dragged it behind him. He hadn’t stopped talking since I got off the plane. I knew he was just excited to see me, but his constant chatter was starting to irritate me. Between the physical exhaustion of flying and the emotional repercussions of this whole whacked-out situation, I was bordering on overstimulation. All I wanted was to put my headphones in and hide from the world, but I recognized that would be rude.

A frigid gust of wind whipped my hood back, sneaking into my sleeves and sending shivers down my spine. I hugged myself, desperately trying to fend off the chill.

“Here,” Cameron called out, stopping in his tracks and shedding his jacket.

He extended the worn, brown leather coat toward me, just like he had that night at the concert. His kind-hearted gesture drew glares from Lucian and Sebastian, halting all three of them in their steps.

“I can’t stand by while a lady shivers,” Cameron explained.

Three sets of eyes studied me as if this was some twisted test. If I accepted the jacket, Cameron would be happy, and Lucian would probably be even more pissed off. I glanced up at Sebastian, trying to decipher his expression. Most guys wouldn’t be thrilled about their girlfriend taking another man’s jacket, but my relationship with Sebastian wasn’t exactly conventional. Most of our relationship probably wasn’t even legal, at least not on his end.

When I left America six years ago, I had planned on disappearing entirely. I didn’t want a single person from my old life to contact me, and at first, I thought I succeeded. Until I started getting texts from random numbers, saying things like ‘ How could you leave?’ and ‘I could have been enough for you .’ Each time, I’d block them. But instead of backing off, my unwanted pen pal grew more aggressive: ‘ You were meant to be mine’, ‘I think about you every minute of every day’ , and, most concerningly, ‘If you don’t answer me, I’ll find you.’

One day, I found a sheet of notebook paper taped to my door. A simple message, scrawled in Sebastian’s unmistakably illegible blend of print and cursive: You’ll never get rid of me.

At the time, I was terrified enough to have a restraining order placed on Sebastian. But, after the order was lifted and he came back, something in my mind had warped. Suddenly, his dedication to me had gone from unnerving to admirable, and our relationship gradually shifted from hostile to friendly. And when I realized he could provide a better life for my daughter, our relationship shifted again to... well, this .

“I appreciate you looking out for my girls...” Sebastian smiled as he pushed Cameron’s hand away. “But you should leave this to me.”

Sebastian’s gaze darkened at the end of his sentence, causing Cameron to stiffen as Lucian snatched his jacket away.

“He was talking to me. Cam wouldn’t offer his jacket to someone like Mason ,“ Lucian spat.

“I’m sure you’re a very pretty lady, Lucky.” Sarcasm dripped from Sebastian’s words.

“I’m fucking beautiful,” Lucian mumbled as he held the enormous jacket to his chest.

I studied him for a moment. During our time apart, Lucian had slimmed down considerably, leaving him tall and graceful. His long, defined curls were pulled back into a tangled mess, showcasing his sharp, almost feminine features.

Lucian was right; he was beautiful.

“What are you looking at?” he sneered.

My face grew hot as I quickly looked away. I wound my fingers into the cuff of my hoodie, picking at a loose string.

“Simmer down,” Cameron ordered. “I’d be looking at you funny, too, if it were my first time meeting you.”

My blood ran cold, and I looked back to Lucian as we all started walking towards the car again. I expected him to point out to Cameron that we had dated, but he stayed silent, electing to roll his eyes instead.

Sebastian draped an arm over my shoulder, “Ignore them. Soon it’ll be just us.”

Lucian stopped dead in his tracks, dropping Cameron’s hand to whip around and stare his brother down.

“If you want to act like a man, you better give her your fucking jacket.”

Sebastian’s eyes widened. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. She’s cold. Give. Her. Your. Jacket.“ Lucian bared his teeth as he spoke.

“I’m okay.” I squeaked, waving them off.

Lucian’s nostrils flared as he reached for the zipper of his jacket. The chipped black polish on his nails blended into the material as he removed it, but he didn’t stop at extending it to me. Instead, he forced it onto my shoulders.

Even if he hadn’t given me the jacket, the gesture itself would have been enough to keep me warm. I silently pleaded with every divine being to extinguish the blush I felt rising in my cheeks. Sebastian’s icy gaze sliced through me, and instantly, I tried to shrug off the jacket.

“If you take that off before we’re in the car, you’re both homeless. Do you understand?” Lucian commanded as he pulled on Cameron’s enormous coat.

My breathing went shallow as I nodded, pulling the fabric back over my shoulders. Suddenly, I could feel every seam in my clothing slicing into me like a thousand knives. I pulled at my shirt, trying to prevent the stitches from rubbing against my skin as we finally finished the trek to the car.

The metallic jingle of keys filled the air as Sebastian unlocked his vehicle. A sleek blue Range Rover stood before us, its polished exterior gleaming under the pale glow of the streetlights. Lucian marched toward the passenger seat.

“Lucky, that’s for Mason,” Sebastian said matter-of-factly.

Lucian looked over his shoulder, barely giving us the time of day. “My bag is here. It’s my seat.”

“That’s not how–”

The door opened and slammed shut before Sebastian could formally protest.

“That’s fine. I don’t mind the back seat,” I assured Sebastian.

But I could tell Lucian had already soured his brother’s mood. All the Castillos were hot-headed, but the only one who had any conflict resolution skills was their older sister, Leona.

If only she could be here to help me through this mess.

Sebastian took my bag and popped the hatch, and I sat directly behind Lucian. I reasoned that if I sat here, it’d be difficult for him to see me, and if I was quiet enough, he could forget I existed. The hatch slammed shut as Cameron and Sebastian finished loading their stuff in, cursing Lucian and me with just a moment of solitude.

“Why are you with that creep?” he snorted, breaking the blissful silence.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

I wanted to press him more, to defend Sebastian’s honor, but the car quickly filled with the remaining members of our party. I could practically feel the vehicle shift under Cameron’s mass. His knees rubbed against mine as he fought to fit into his half of the car. And then, just when he’d finally gotten settled in, Sebastian shoved the driver’s seat back as far as it would go.

“Can ya scoot up just a hair?” Cameron asked.

Sebastian glanced at him through the rear-view mirror.

“No.”

Cameron shifted again. I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable, but part of me was afraid to make Sebastian any angrier than he already was.

“We can switch—“

“No.” It was Lucian who said it this time. “If I’m forced to look at you for the whole hour-long drive back home—rear-view mirror or not—I’m going to vomit.”

“Lucian.” Sebastian and Cameron both warned in unison.

But the damage was done. I felt a shameful burning begin to grow in my throat. Luckily, my father had taught me how to turn off my emotions like a switch. I would still have to deal with them later, but it left me able to breathe until I got to a space where I could melt down in peace.

The car fell into silence as Sebastian turned on the vehicle. Instantly, some overly peppy radio host flooded through the speakers as Sebastian backed out.

“Alright, I hope everyone is buckled up because we are breaking into the top ten songs on the Billboard Top 100! Or should I say, prepare for the Mason Albright marathon?”

I sunk into the leather seat as Cameron’s gaze shifted to me. “Hey, that’s kinda cool… a pop star has the same name as you.”

I shot him an askance glance, and I patted at my pockets, desperately hoping to find the earbuds I knew were in my carry-on—the one Sebastian had so kindly stored out of my reach.

God dammit. Why is my boyfriend so considerate?

“The French socialite turned American pop star has grown into a complete powerhouse this year, making her the youngest artist ever to take up an entire top ten list.”

I forced myself to look out the window, grounding myself by pressing my forehead into the icy glass.

The radio host kept talking, but it all turned to static. As long as I didn’t have to speak for the rest of the ride, I could be fine.

A tap came on my shoulder, and I looked back at Cameron.

“This may sound silly… but you ain’t the Mason Albright they’re talking about…. Right?”