21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Mason

Lucian’s nails dug into the leather armrests on either side of me as a crooked grin unfurled on his lips. His gaze trailed down my body like hot fudge, sticking to all my curves, leaving an undeniable warmth in its wake. Sex with Lucian probably wasn’t a solid idea, but he had been so kind and gentle with me this morning. I had obviously hurt him with the way I left years ago; the least I could do now was show him a good time. He deserved that much.

“I said, I think you want me to fuck you.” His velvety voice raised goosebumps on my arms.

“And what if I do?”

He sucked his lower lip between his teeth and slowly pulled it back out, letting it pop into a sexy pout as he gradually removed a hand from the chair and slid it across the thin cotton of my shirt. I thought this would be a quick trip, so I hadn’t bothered to put a bra on before leaving.

My nipples poked through the dark material, and my breath hitched as Lucian’s thumbs brushed across them. He gently cupped my breast, softly kneading the flesh and rolling my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

I squirmed as the heat between my legs grew more intense.

“Then you better know what you’re getting into, fucktoy. ” His abyssal gaze grew even darker, and a chill ran down my spine. “Sex with me hurts, and I’m not going to hold back just because someone opened their legs without a condom.”

His attention flickered down for a beat, then back to my face.

“Honestly, it might make it worse.”

A lump formed in my throat, and I nodded.

“I can take pain, you know that.”

Especially when it’s inflicted by someone I trust.

Despite the current tension between us, Lucian had once been my person. We’d stay up late, sneaking out of our parents’ houses just to find each other. We’d hide in the woods behind my house and talk about how fucked up life was, how much our families sucked, and how things would get better once we were adults.

Except... here we were, well into adulthood, and things didn’t seem too much better for either of us. Now, our problems were self-inflicted rather than imposed on us by trusted adults. But maybe if we had been together—

Nope, bad thought. I just needed to fuck Lucian out of my system, and I’d be fine.

Lucian’s chuckle filled the room. The hairs on the back of my neck stood at attention as he shook his head.

“Oh, I know you like pain, but my favorite whore has proven yet again that she has zero critical thinking skills.” His words were rough, but as he moved away from my breast to caress my stomach, his touch was shockingly gentle. “Hormones, blood flow, et cetera, you’re more sensitive right now… did you not know that?”

I should have snapped at him for talking to me like that. Belittling me without permission. But, deep down, it felt good to willingly submit to someone who I trusted to hurt me in the right ways.

“No, I did.” I had definitely been more sensitive lately; it was growing more intense every day. “Why do you know that?”

Lucian continued to walk his fingers down until he found the waistband of my leggings. He pushed under the fabric, and my legs squeezed together.

“I’m a dad,” he reminded me. “I remember all the perks of Ashley’s pregnancy. And honestly? I’m dying for a little more fun.”

“So, you’re telling me you have a pregnancy fetish.”

His smirk turned into a teeth-bearing grin. It was sardonic and deep, and something told me I was in the best kind of trouble.

“ Pregnancy isn’t the kink. It’s just a new and interesting way to exploit my sexual partner… But, I have to say, it looks good on you.”

I wanted to argue with him, but he hooked a hand under my right knee and pulled it to the side, forcing my legs open. He held me in that position, using his free hand to toy with my clit. I let out a needy whimper as I let my head fall back onto the leather. The dexterity in Lucian’s fingers just wasn’t fair. He was playing me just like he would his guitar, and if he didn’t stop, I was going to make a mess in his chair.

My whimpers turned to moans as I writhed against him, but still, his grasp held me in place. Just as it felt like I would come completely undone from his hand alone, he withdrew his touch. He let my leg fall onto the chair and used his clean hand to lift my face. His eyes held mine in a direct stare as he sucked me off his fingers. A primal growl escaped his chest.

“You don’t even have the stamina to keep up with me anymore.” he taunted. “We used to fuck like animals for hours. Now you’re almost cumming after five minutes with just my hand. Are you sure you can take me, fucktoy?”

The heat of embarrassment intertwined with my arousal.

“I can handle you.”

Lucian tipped his head slightly before climbing over me on the chair. His knees pressed into my hips on either side as he sat on my thighs. Slowly, he explored every inch of me, caressing each curve with his entire hand. Eventually, he found my collarbone, first with his fingers and then with his teeth, showering me in soft, vampire-like kisses. I arched into him as I stifled a moan. Sharp bites moved up my neck, stopping just below my jaw. Lucian pulled away, chest heaving as he focused his gaze on me.

“In our house, we use the word ‘ trust ’ instead of ‘stop’. That’s your safe word.” he coached.

“Trust.” My echo was barely a whisper.

He nodded. “And if you need to call it, there will be absolutely no repercussions. If you hurt at all—in a bad way, of course—if you’re uncomfortable, or you’re just not feeling it anymore, I need you to promise me you’ll call it.”

I nodded, but his brow deepened.

“I need verbal confirmation, fucktoy.”

I took a deep breath and tried to steady the fluttering of my heart.

“I promise.”

He pinched my cheeks together as he pulled my face up, the disgruntled look lingering on his face.

“Use your big girl voice. If I can’t hear you, I don’t want you.”

“I promise! If it hurts, I’ll call Trust, just—”

He yanked on my hair, tugging me backward. The pain caused my heart to jump as he leaned in.

“Who the hell are you to make demands?” His smile betrayed his snarl.

“But—”

He yanked my hair again, resulting in a yelp from me.

“The only things you’re allowed to say are ‘ yes, sir,’ ‘no, sir,’ or ‘trust.’ Do you understand?”

I swallowed hard, “Yes, I—”

His grip tightened, and I braced for Lucian to pull my hair yet again.

“Try that again, fucktoy.”

“Yes, sir,” I squeaked.

He released me as he breathed in a deep, shuddering breath.

“Good girl.”

Lucian pulled away, slowly rolling to his feet. He placed a hand on the ceiling, stretching to his full height. Thick footfalls echoed off the tile floors as he turned his back to me.

“Take your clothes off. I need to look something up.”

I obeyed without a second thought.

Unlike Cameron and Sebastian, Lucian wasn’t afraid to hurt me. I needed someone to control me. For years, I had been verbally abused and degraded by people who didn’t care about who I was, only what I could do for them. But Lucian had never been like that.

I needed the rush of giving him control over me. He could belittle me as much as he wanted, make me feel as dirty as he needed, leave my ass black and blue if he so pleased. I mentally gave him permission to treat me like nothing more than a whore. In a twisted way, letting him hurt me felt like the first step in taking my life back.

I didn’t pay Lucian much attention as I cast all my garments behind me, leaving them in a nice pile so I could easily locate them once we finished. But, as I sat naked, I noticed Lucian was staring at his phone.

“... What are you doing?”

He peered at me through his brow before putting his phone on the black desk in the corner.

“That doesn’t sound like something you’re allowed to say… but I was checking on a few things. In case you haven’t noticed,” he started popping the pearlescent buttons of his shirt apart, “you are pregnant with my boyfriend’s child. I’m not risking hurting her just to punish you.”

“Actually, Cameron’s my baby daddy, not just your boyfriend.”

Lucian’s jaw went tense as he stalked toward me. His button-down fluttered to the ground behind him as he approached the table. The vine tattoos on his arms didn’t continue to his chest like I thought they might. Instead, incredibly detailed roses climbed up his ribs and onto his chest. His abs were bare, but under his belly button was a crudely drawn smiley face.

“Is that ‘yes, sir ’ or ‘no, sir’ ?” he growled.

My heart lurched.

“No, sir.”

He looked down his nose at me like he was considering whether to pick up a piece of garbage he’d found on the floor. The disdain in his gaze filled me with shame and excitement.

“So, you’re just willfully disobeying me?”

That felt like a trick question.

“... Yes sir?”

The muscles in his arms twitched as he crossed them over his chest.

“Open your mouth. Now.”

Why did he want me to do that?

“I said now .” Danger coated the edge of his voice like poison dripping from a blade.

I swallowed hard as I complied.

“Tongue out.”

My lips parted, and I stuck my tongue out as far as I could.

Without hesitation, Lucian spat in my mouth. The lingering cinnamon flavor from his toothpaste coated my tastebuds. This was disgusting, degrading, and so hot it caused me to groan. I drew my tongue back in and swallowed. He smiled, and I basked in his silent approval.

“Now get on your hands and knees. I’ll adjust the chair.”

He helped me turn over, positioning me on my hands and knees with my face against the back of the chair. His uncharacteristically gentle hands held me in place, moving each part of the chair until I didn’t have a choice but to arch my back like a kitten. My breasts pressed to the leather below, and I could hear Lucian shuffling around—a whoosh of paper, followed by soft banging on a metal tray. My exposed skin started to grow cold as Lucian took his sweet time doing whatever the fuck he was doing.

Eventually, he came close to me, kneeling before my face. He held up a blister pack containing one blue needle cartridge.

“As you can see, the pack is closed.” He flexed the sides of the plastic, showing the paper covering was securely attached. He then flipped it over and pointed to the date printed on the back.

“And it doesn’t expire until next year. This needle is completely sterile.”

His knees cracked as he stood to walk away, and my heart skipped. It was nice of him to show me this, but there was one slight problem.

“I’m pregnant. I can’t get tattoos.”

The unmistakable sound of snapping latex gloves filled the room.

“That’s why I was doing some research. It’s true, you can’t get a tattoo... unless it’s under extremely sterile conditions.” The tearing of a package and the smell of rubbing alcohol followed his words.

“Plus, I’m not using ink. Just the needle.”

It felt like my eyes were going to bulge out of my skull, and I was grateful he couldn’t see my face. This... felt like a lot.

“I promise I would never do anything that puts the baby at risk.” His voice was calm. “Do you trust me?”

I considered everything going on and took a deep breath. He showed me the needle was clean, he sanitized my skin, and he wasn’t using ink. Lucian was taking all the precautions to ensure this was safe. He was just going to scratch me up a bit and call it a day.

My trust in Lucian was completely implicit.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl,” he purred. “What’s our safe word again?”

The tattoo machine buzzed to life, and my heart raced. I swallowed hard.

“Trust.”

“Good girl.” he repeated.

He placed one hand on my ass and pulled the skin tight. I held my breath as the buzz of the machine picked up again. The sound hung in the air for what felt like an eternity before the needle made contact with my skin. At first, I felt a pinch, but as he continued etching curves and straight lines into my skin, the sensation escalated to a dull burn.

The pain was a feeling I had grown used to after two full sleeves. But I had never gotten a tattoo naked before. I could feel Lucian’s face between my thighs, slowly inching closer until the heat of his breath tickled my pussy. I whimpered in response.

“You’re not being loud enough,” he warned.

The buzzing of the machine continued as his latex-coated fingers found my clit. Slowly, deliberately, he circled the center of my pleasure. With each wicked movement, I jerked and panted. Lucian took his time exploring, slipping his fingers in and out of me as he saw fit.

Fuck. I remembered him being good, but he was on a whole new level of sexual prowess.

“I said you’re not being loud enough, fucktoy.”

“You’re not giving me a reason to be loud enough,” I retorted, craning my neck to look back at him.

His eyes were wide, and his jaw was slightly ajar as the buzzing stopped. He ran his tongue over his lips, surely considering how best to punish me for the offense of making eye contact with him.

“Turn around. Press your face into the chair. Don’t look at anything except leather,” he ordered.

I couldn’t hide my smile. Did he really think I’d just listen to him this whole time?

“No, you can’t make me do anything I don’t want to.”

“Mason James Albright. I. Said. Now .”

He placed his tattoo gun on the tray and started toward me. A thrill ran down my chest and into my stomach. His fingers connected with the nape of my neck as he forced me to look forward. Then he kneeled, getting on my level as if he were speaking to a child.

“Remember who you belong to, fucktoy.”

If Lucian didn’t want sass, he shouldn’t keep providing me with opportunities to give it to him.

“I know who I belong to, sir,” I promised.

“Then tell me, nice and slow. I want to savor this.”

I flashed Lucian a smile so sweet it could have caused cavities. In anticipation of my response, he slowly started playing with my hair.

“I… belong… to…” My words came slowly like molasses from a bottle as Lucian motioned for me to continue.

“Sebastian.”

His gaze darkened.

“Try that again.”

I pretended like I was mulling the thought over, complete with lips pursed off to the side.

“I still have his purity ring in my suitcase. I belong to Sebastian.”

I expected Lucian to slap me, and I was looking forward to it. Instead, he stood, not even pulling my hair. He softly rubbed the nape of my neck, causing some of the tension I had been carrying to drop.

“He may belong to you, but you don’t belong to him.” Lucian’s voice was soft, contemplative. “You’re mine , Mason. You always have been, you always will be.”

My chest filled with an unexpected warmth. Lucian and I were about to fuck nasty, and he was literally doing physical harm to me, but the idea of being his felt so undeniably safe . He had always represented safety for me. Back when Lucian was my big-bad-scary-boyfriend, no one in this world was allowed to hurt me. I craved that level of security with every fiber of my being.

He wove his fingers through my bangs and used them like a handle to force me to look up at him. With his free hand, he toyed with my lower lip. My breathing stilled as he looked down at me. There wasn’t anger or lust in Lucian’s gaze. But I couldn’t place the emotion he held.

“If I belong to you, you better prove it.” I gulped my words.

He smirked. “I already have, fucktoy. Now open your mouth.”

My brow furrowed. Was he going to spit on me again?

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to shut you the fuck up.” He grinned. “Now, open that smart mouth of yours.”

Who was I to tell him no when he asked so nicely? My lips parted with a quiet pop, and Lucian changed his grip on me. He guided his erection into my mouth before lazily sliding in and out. The motion was slow but brutal. With each lethargic thrust, he forced his cock so far down my throat that I could kiss his testicles. My cheeks hollowed with every movement.

Lucian’s breathing quickened. His fingers dug into my shoulders as his pants turned into moans.

“Fuck.” he grunted, tipping his head back.

I flicked my tongue against his shaft and head, and his knees went weak.

“Mmm, keep that up. Your mouth feels so good on my cock,” he praised.

His words escalated the heat in my core, and I tried to sneak a hand down to play with myself. It wasn’t fair that only he got to cum. But the subtle movement didn’t escape Lucian. The thrusting stopped, but his cock didn’t leave my mouth as he guided my hand back into place.

“You’re only going to cum when I tell you to,” he snarled.

He continued to rock his hips, brushing my tonsils with the tip of his cock, for what felt like half an hour. When he finally pulled out, I had tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Why did you stop?” My voice was hoarse.

“Because, unlike you, I’m not pathetic.” he explained. He circled behind me, cock pulsing as he eyed me over. Once he reached his destination, he sunk his fingers into my hips so hard I was sure he’d leave bruises. I hoped he did—my pussy throbbed at the thought of examining them in the mirror later, tracing my own fingers over the spots where he’d marked me.

“I’m not going to cum in your mouth or your hand. Nothing is going to make me finish except your pussy.”

With that, he plunged into me. Each stroke was deeper, more frantic than the last. He wasn’t as massive as Cameron or pierced like Sebastian, but Lucian knew what he was doing. Each time he rammed his cock into my cervix, the heat in my core grew. Except heat wasn’t the right word when it came to Lucian—he was like electricity coursing through my veins. My cries became frantic whines as I approached nirvana. Lucian snaked a hand around to toy with my clit.

“Go ahead, you can finish, fucktoy.” Bravado dripped from his words, but I could tell by the gravel in his tone that he was getting close too.

So I gave in to him. My entire body writhed, and I had to bite the chair to prevent myself from screaming. When he pulled out of me, I was trembling and gasping for air, the world around me little more than a haze. The only thing that brought me back to my senses was the feeling of hot cum falling on my back.

Lucian let out a soft groan, holding onto my hips to steady himself. I cast him a lazy glance—half because I wanted to remind myself what he looked like after he came, half because I just wanted to see his face.

He was breathing heavily, but he wore a huge smile. For this moment and this moment alone, my body, heart, and soul were completely and utterly his .

After Lucian cleaned his cum off my back, he readjusted the chair so we could relax. He held me to his chest, toying with the fine strands of my hair. If I peeked out over his arm, I could see our reflection in the full-body mirror on the wall.

I was enthralled with the way we looked tangled up in each other. Sweat coated us in a shimmer that turned my skin translucent and caused Lucian’s to shine like solid gold. His racing heartbeat thundered in my right ear, and his slow, deep breaths tickled my left cheek. For the first time in years, I felt relaxed.

He moved an arm to cup my stomach. “I was serious when I said this looks good on you.”

Lucian’s blinks were slow, his long lashes casting shadows on his face. I had a weird feeling I could be vulnerable with Lucian, despite everything going on between us. He always seemed to understand me, even if I didn’t say the right words.

“If I talk, will you make fun of me?” I whispered.

His chin rocked against my temple as he shook his head.

“And I won’t tell anyone else what you say.”

Goosebumps dusted every inch of my skin that wasn’t pressed against Lucian’s.

“My dad forced me to hide my pregnancy. He said it’s bad for my image.” My heart was beating hard enough to shake my chest. “But now that I’m in a situation where I don’t have to be ashamed of my baby, I hate the way she’s making me look.”

His breathing stilled, and I wondered if he was about to scream at me. Considering our history, he had every right to. This pregnancy was completely my fault, and I had the gall to complain to Lucian about it after destroying his life twice. It shouldn’t be a surprise that pregnancy was making me fat—my mother never let me forget how my existence ruined her modeling career. My dad didn’t want to see me go through the same thing; that’s why he was so hard on me about my diet.

“I know it probably doesn’t help… but I think you’re beautiful.” Lucian’s voice was soft as he traced absent-minded circles on my stomach.

“Don’t tell anyone I said that.”

My breathing slowed, and I reached up to caress his cheek. His slight stubble tickled my hand as he held onto my wrist, pulling me closer. His breath ghosted my lips, but he stopped just short of kissing me.

“Why don’t you want anyone to know how you feel about me?” I whispered.

“Because I don’t know how I feel about you.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “This is new and nostalgic all at the same time. I crave the feeling of being close to you, but I also want to push you so far away I’d never risk seeing you again.”

He blinked once and swallowed hard. “I was finally starting to move forward in life without you, raising my kids, staying sober. Then you walk back in, and it’s just like you never left… except you did.”

My heart swelled as he massaged my scalp with his fingertips.

“I hate that you have the power to make me feel complete, especially since I didn’t know I was missing anything.”

And I hated that I was the one who made him feel that way. He deserved better than me.

“What part of this,” he gestured to my torso, “makes you uncomfortable?”

“All of it?” I squeaked before cupping my exposed breasts. “I’ve never had tits or curves or anything.”

“Maybe don’t fuck someone twice your size? That’d probably help.” Lucian’s chuckle was deep and smooth like silk.

“He’s not twice my size!”

“He absolutely is. It’s like a Great Dane fucking a Pomeranian, and you wonder why—ouch!” His words cut off as I lightly struck his chest. I knew I hadn’t hurt Lucian; he was just being a baby.

“Don’t hit me.”

“Then don’t make fun of me.”

“Don’t give me something to make fun of! But back to the matter at hand: I don’t know if you’re just insecure or what, but you’re in a home full of people whose love isn’t determined by appearances.”

My stomach bottomed out.

“You love me?”

Red flooded his cheeks as he yanked away from me, hopping off the chair and grabbing his pants. He jumped into the dark denim, buckling his belt while checking his phone.

“You should probably get dressed.” He cleared his throat as he spoke. “Cam’s stopping by to bring me coffee.”

I pushed myself up, resting on my elbows as Lucian tugged his shirt on, frantically popping buttons into holes. For years, I was fine without Lucian. But now, after having him so close, it felt wrong for him to pull away.

“I thought I was taking the Jeep.”

“You were, but uh... I’m going to have one of my employees drive me home in it. Or I’ll get it towed, or—just get dressed.” There was an edge to his voice, one his face didn’t mirror.

I assumed our conversation would end there, so I forced myself up and tugged on my pile of clothing. But, when I turned around to grab my shoes, Lucian had them in his hand. Wordlessly, he bent down on one knee and slipped my child-size boots onto my feet. He tied them for me, too. Double knots, perfectly even loops; clearly, he’d been getting a lot of practice tying small shoes.

Once Lucian finished, he stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. We held eye contact for a moment as his face inched toward mine. He went for my lips at first, then changed course, landing on my cheek with a hesitant kiss.

“Let me know when you get home,” he whispered.

As I walked out of the shop, I couldn’t stop hating myself. I needed Lucian, but I had irreparably damaged our relationship by leaving the way I did. We used to have something beautiful, the kind of love you’re lucky to get once in a lifetime. We were broken people, but our shattered pieces fit together with each other like a puzzle. A beautiful tragedy, a perfect asymmetry.

Now we were hate-fucking, and he couldn’t even bring himself to kiss me.

And it was all my fault.