Chapter Six

Odette

I cringed when my alarm went off. I looked away from my computer screen for the first time in five hours. My shoulders dropped, not realizing how long I’d been going down this dark path.

Just like Reesia instructed, I googled BDSM. I wish I hadn’t; I really did. The horrible videos I’d seen were scarred in my brain, slowly rotting it.

There was just no way. How could my professors be into such painful and downright sick things?

When I first looked it up, I simply read the definition, which didn’t tell me much. Then I read a few articles which didn’t sound so bad. Then... the photos. The horrible—painful images.

There were a few pictures of a woman’s breasts with clothespins all over her flesh, pinching her nipples and the skin around them. There were several photos of bruises and scars, some with blood in them.

The videos... I couldn’t believe some people willingly put themselves through so much torture and... stretching. I got nauseous at some of the more grotesque videos that involved sharp objects.

I felt traumatized. At one point, I convinced myself that my professors were insane and that everything I thought about them was just some fantasy I had made up. What kind of sane, normal people wanted this.

I didn’t. When Niko said he wanted me, I hoped he didn’t mean this.

Last night with Wyatt was amazing; it was the most intense moment of my life. But if it led to BDSM, I wasn’t interested in the slightest.

Along with burning my eyes out of my skull, I did learn a few things that made a little more sense. The photos and videos were no help, but the articles did explain why they seemed okay with each other flirting with me and putting me in situations where the other professors could hear or see me.

A common practice in BDSM was polyamory, meaning more than two people being in a relationship together. This intrigued me because why have one of them when I could have all of them? Especially if that was what they wanted already.

However, I was concerned about how that would work exactly. I’d never even had one boyfriend. What the hell would I do with four men much older, more attractive, and a million times more experienced than me?

I shouldn’t even worry about that because I wasn’t into the pain and torture that they probably were. I’d never be able to unsee the vile things I witnessed tonight.

I didn’t sleep; I hadn’t moved from my bed. I would regret that later when the exhaustion hit, and I crashed.

After clearing my history and removing my headphones, I shut my laptop. Enough of that.

Feeling dirty, I showered, compliantly disgusted with myself after what I watched. I’d never watched any kind of porn, and I probably shouldn’t have gone as deep as I did. None of it was a turn-on. I washed up quickly, not letting the cold water hit me.

Dressing in a black skirt and a tight white button-down blouse, I called it good. I had massive bags under my eyes from not sleeping; the well-put-together outfit should make up for my zombieness.

I spent half an hour showering, dressing, and brushing my hair before five-thirty hit, and I had to start my drive. None of my professors were awake yet, which I was thankful for.

How was I supposed to look at them? I heard Dominic moan. Niko and Aiden heard me moaning. Wyatt touched me . To put a cherry on top of everything, I knew how sick and twisted they were.

I was going to need a while to process.

Absentmindedly taking notes through my physics class, my mind was entirely elsewhere. A lot of this was a recap from our last class, anyway.

After my class, I had half an hour before it was time for Niko’s class. I got a coffee, smiling when I remembered how, just yesterday, I warned Dominic about how addictive it could be.

I sat in the auditorium, away from any noise and other students.

Niko said he was the selfish one yesterday. Now, I thought I was. I really didn’t want them to want anything to do with BDSM, let alone want that kind of relationship. I was the world’s most selfish person because if that was what they wanted, I couldn’t let myself have them.

There wasn’t an ounce of me that wanted to be hurt, burned with wax, cut, pinched, poked with something that looked like the back of a cowboy boot, had giant objects shoved in me, or anything else that I saw. I just couldn’t...

After deciding I should just end whatever started yesterday, I walked to Niko’s class. I couldn’t lead myself on and wouldn’t do the same to them. They want something that I didn’t, and I wouldn’t be the one to let them down. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was the right thing to do.

I sat in the back of the class like I always did. The class was almost full; students were still pouring in. Niko’s’ back was turned as he wrote the agenda for the lesson on the board. I admired his back muscles for a second before pulling my notebook out.

When I looked back up, his eyes were already on me. He smiled, looking away and around at the other students. He clapped. “Did everyone have a good weekend?” He asked. He always started the class with something interactive that captured everyone’s attention. This was why I’d stuck with him as an instructor for so many years. He was really good at his job; another great reason why I should just stop.

A few students shared about their weekends before he started instructing.

It was so strange, knowing him as a person and knowing him as my professor. It was still Niko, just in an incredibly different world. The man smiling and eagerly answering any questions in the front of this room wasn’t the same one who told me he wanted me last night.

I just wish he’d stop sneaking glances at me. He had never looked at me before, and now his eyes kept meeting mine. It was making me nervous.

Was he thinking about what he heard last night? Did he like what he heard last night?

I pushed my eyebrows together, looking back down at my notes. That doesn’t matter. You’re not doing this. I chanted in my mind.

My actions didn’t match my thoughts as I found myself looking at him in a way a student shouldn’t be looking at their professor. This had been the longest class ever, the clock moving by painfully slowly.

Even from across the room, his eyes on my skin were burning.

Remember, he’s a freak. Remember, he’s a freak. But he’s so yummy...

The class was finally over after an hour of secret lustful looks and watching his charming smile. Without looking back, I bolted out the door, needing to breathe fresh air that wasn’t polluted by our filth.

I went to my other two classes, managing to focus and get some work done. It wasn’t until the end of my Trigonometry class that I was approached by a professor.

Only it wasn’t one of my professors; it was my geriatric, overweight trigonometry professor. He was a nice guy, from what I’d seen. Like most of my teachers, I’d never spoken to him directly before. He asked me to stay after for a moment, and I was nervous that I bombed an assignment.

“Odette,” Mr. Ridley smiled. “I have an opportunity for extra credit,” he started, and I relaxed. “Would you be interested in coming into my office in about an hour?” He raised his eyebrows like he was suggesting something exciting.

I gave him a closed-mouthed smile. “Sure, I’m always open to extra credit,” I agreed. I loved extra credit—especially if I could end the quarter with that extra credit. It was like a reward for all my hard work.

He looked surprised for a moment before he smirked. “Eager, I like it,” he winked before he left the room.

I pushed my eyebrows together. Okay? Why wouldn’t I be jumping at the opportunity? What a strange old man.

With an hour to kill, I decided to go to the library to kill time. I immediately regretted my destination, seeing my professors sitting at a round table towards the back of the room, papers surrounding them as they ate their lunch and graded assignments. They must be on their lunch hour.

Before I could turn around, I locked eyes with Aiden. It would be cowardly if I left now, and they’d totally know something was up.

I checked into the library, a policy the university had. The books in here were old and with a lot of money, so they liked to keep track of who’d been in here.

As I checked in with the woman at the front counter, I glanced back at the table, seeing Wyatt wave me over.

No! No, no, no. Was this allowed? Living together was one thing, but being seen with them publicly at school?! No.

With that being said, I walked over to their table.

I had no idea what to expect after last night. Wyatt smiled at me as if last night had never happened. “How many more classes do you have today?” He asked, probably because most classes were over by three.

Okay, so we were pretending like nothing happened; I could do that. “I’m just killing time. Mr. Ridley asked me to meet him in his office for extra credit in an hour,” I explained.

Niko made a disgusted face, unlike any of his expressions I’d seen before, “And you’re going?” He practically spat.

I was taken aback by his sudden unpleasantness. Aiden was looking down at the table, his eyebrows sinking lower and lower towards his eyes. Dominic began gathering his things suddenly. Wyatt looked puzzled, staring at me in shock.

I guess they really didn’t like Mr. Ridley? I nodded. “Well, yeah, extra credit is extra credit,” I answered like it was obvious.

Aiden chuckled, although his expression showed no amusement. He stood up, grabbing his stack of papers. He towered over me, his look of disappointment confusing me. Electric blue eyes shot straight through my own, “You certainly had me fooled.” He glanced at my other professors and mumbled, “Every time,” as he walked away.

What. His words were like a knife in my chest, but I couldn’t figure out why he was so upset.

Dominic didn’t even look at me as he left the library, another knife in my chest.

Niko and Wyatt looked at each other with the same looks of disappointment.

For the first time since I met them, I felt very unwelcome. I don’t know what I said or did. Maybe they were realizing the same thing I did earlier, that this wouldn’t end well, and a relationship couldn’t happen between us.

I sucked in a breath, feeling uncomfortable in their intense silence. “I’ll see you later,” I said quickly.

Wyatt just nodded, still not looking at me as I turned and left.

The hour was spent in the auditorium, replaying our conversation in the library, trying to figure out what set them off. I barely said a sentence. Maybe my extra credit comment reminded them that I was a student above all else. But that didn’t explain what Aiden said. That I somehow fooled him.

I was a horrible liar, and he knew it. What did he think I fooled him with? Maybe my ass looked bigger in leggings, and this skirt wasn’t flattering. ...Obviously, that wasn’t it, but it was a fun thought.

I walked into Mr. Ridley’s office after knocking. It was a little past four now, and most of the students and teachers had gone home for the day. “Hi,” I greeted.

He was sitting behind his desk; the lamp in the corner of the room was the only light, making me slightly uncomfortable. His eyes lit up as he watched me enter the room. “Odette, I’m surprised you decided to meet me,” he chuckled. “Go ahead and shut the door behind you,” he nodded behind me.

I closed the door. “I’m always open for extra credit,” I shrugged.

“I’m going to make you work hard for it. Are you sure you want to go through with this?” He asked with a smirk.

I pushed my eyebrows together, a strange shiver going up my back. I shrugged. “That’s why I’m here.”

Before tilting his head to the side, he eyed me in a way I really didn’t like. “Come on over here, don’t be shy.”

Thinking he was going to show me an assignment or a tutoring schedule, I walked over to his side of the desk.

He rolled his chair back, and my heart stopped for a solid five seconds as I was met with his naked lower half. His slacks were pulled down to his thighs, revealing his... oh my God.

My entire body felt frozen, panic coursing through my veins. “W-what—”

He smirked at me. “Don’t get all shy in me now; you were so eager earlier.”

This was not what I expected when he said extra credit. Disgust washed over me as I recalled our conversations up until this moment. I didn’t know... I would have never come here if I thought he meant this.

I tried to move my legs, but they wouldn’t budge.

He took a breath. “Look, you don’t have to pretend. I’ve heard about you and some of the professors who work here,” he said, stroking his disgusting thing .

My heart stopped again. Wyatt told him? That was the only explanation I could think of. Wyatt told him and probably others about last night.

My stomach twisted, feeling used and appalled with myself. Was that what he thought of me... I was just some desperate student willing to sleep with teachers to better my grade.

You certainly had me fooled.

They knew what Mr. Ridley meant by extra credit.

My chest was caving in on itself, my eyes welling with tears of panic as Mr. Ridley patted his thigh with his hand that wasn’t occupied. “Come on, take a seat,” he husked, his voice sending chills through my entire body.

Wake up, Odette. You’re dreaming, you have to be. You didn’t sleep last night. None of this is real.

He looked annoyed now. “Look at that sexy little skirt; so convenient for you to sit on my penis,” he reached out and touched my thigh.

His cold fingers on me were enough to snap me out of my shock as I stumbled back. “Don’t touch me,” I warned, my voice coming out cracked as I tried to keep it together.

His expression changed as he studied me. “Oh shit,” he cursed. He quickly pulled his pants up. “Odette, I thought—”

I ran out of his office, running all the way to my car. I got in and locked the door quickly. My hand shook as I started my car, needing to get as far away from this place as possible.

My body was on autopilot as I drove quickly back to the manor I’d called home for the past week.

I couldn’t stop shaking, adrenaline flowing through me, still in complete shock at what had happened. Mr. Ridley fully expected me to sleep with him because Wyatt told him what happened last night. It was my own stupid fault for being so naive.

What hurt the most was that they all knew exactly what he meant by extra credit and let me go into that office blindly. They thought I knew... and they thought I’d do that.

Sleep deprived, shocked, guilty, and my strange chest pain made me so angry. And that anger came out in hot tears down my face.

I parked my car, feeling absolutely livid. I’d never cared what people thought about me, but I’d be damned if they thought I was just some dumb twenty-year-old who lets teachers fuck them for a grade.

I opened the door, not caring how loud it was or the hot tears on my cheeks. None of this was okay.

I ignored the strange looks Dominic and Niko gave me as I passed them in the living room. Wyatt was my target, feeling most betrayed by him. I’d only opened my body to one other person, and he knew how that went.

They were all in the living room, sitting on the sofas. Wyatt looked alarmed when he saw me. His eyes softened, and he stood. “Odette, what h—”

I whacked him with my purse. “What. Is. Wrong. With. You.” I seethed between hits. I’d never been one for violence, but everything in me wanted him to feel as small as he made me feel.

He grabbed my purse, looking unbothered by my attack. He pushed his eyebrows together in concern. “Odette, stop. Tell me what happened.” He asked calmly.

Like he didn’t already know. “You know what happened,” I scolded, trying to sound tough, but with tears falling down my face, it didn’t work. “You told him, and God knows who else about what happened last night,” I deadpanned.

My other three professors shifted, closely watching the interaction.

Wyatt widened his eyes in surprise. “I didn’t tell anyone about last night, Odette. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he spoke calmly as if his tone would calm me.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m talking about Mr. Ridley telling me to sit on his dick for extra credit because he’s heard about me and some of the professors who work there,” I snapped. “Is that what you think of me?” The last sentence came out weak, showing how hurt I really was.

Wyatt’s shoulders dropped, a sad look of realization on his face. There was a thick silence in the room as I stared at him.

“You didn’t know...?” Aiden said quietly behind me, regret prominent in his tone.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes again as I turned to look at the other three. “No, I didn’t,” I snapped. “But you all did, and you didn’t tell me.”

Niko gave me a sad look. “Mr. Ridley is known for doing this sort of thing; we thought you knew—”

I scoffed. “That doesn’t make me feel any better. I wouldn’t have gone into that stupid office if I knew what he meant,” I explained.

Wyatt grabbed my arm, turning me around. “You’re right. We should have warned you, and I couldn’t be more sorry for this,” he said sincerely. He raised his eyebrows at me. “But you have to believe me when I tell you that I did not and would never tell anyone about what happened,” he added firmly.

Was I stupid for believing him? “Then why would he say that?” I asked, my voice calmer now.

“Because his sister is on the board of directors. She probably mentioned our living situation, and he got the wrong idea,” Aiden chimed in, clearly solving the puzzle.

I rubbed my tired eyes, holding my head in my hands for a few seconds, trying to think clearly. So, this whole thing was just a horrible misunderstanding.

I wiped my cheeks quickly, pathetically trying to hide the evidence that I was crying, but they saw the entire scene.

Dominic’s voice broke me out of my thoughts, “What happened?” He asked. I looked at him, surprised to see a murderous glare on his face.

I was taken aback by his question as I replayed the events in Mr. Ridley’s office. Not wanting to talk about it, I shrugged.

Dominic’s fists clenched. “Did he touch you?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No, he tried to touch my leg, but I ran the second my legs unfroze,” I overshared.

With that, Dominic got up and walked out of the house, looking like he was on a mission.

I peeked up at Wyatt, feeling guilty for beating him up. I got this so wrong, and in the process, I outed myself to my other three professors about last night. “I’m sorry for hitting you with my purse,” I took it from his hand.

He tilted his head. “I would have hit me too if I thought what you did,” he assured. “Did you sleep last night?” He asked, his thumb running under my eye, where the deep circles are.

I shook my head.

“Did you eat anything today?” Niko asked, standing up from the couch.

“Yeah, I had coffee,” I answered.

Niko grabbed my hand. “Coffee isn’t food, Cari?o,” he sighed, looking anxious. He led me into the kitchen, stopping by a stool where he pointed. “Sit.”

I sat down, watching him warm up last night’s leftovers. My crying didn’t help with my exhaustion; in fact, I think it heightened it by ten.

“Why didn’t you sleep?” Aiden asked, sitting beside me as Wyatt sat on my other side.

I blinked at him, not knowing whether I should be honest. There had been a lot of embarrassment in the past ten minutes; I couldn’t possibly sink any lower. Knowing I wouldn’t have the boldness to bring up the topic again, I decided I’d just tell them. “I asked Reesia how you all met,” I started.

Aiden looked intrigued. “What did she tell you?”

I rested my arm on the counter and hid my face in it, not wanting them to see my blush, and I didn’t want to see their faces as I said my next words. “She told me to Google BDSM.”

“Tell me you didn’t,” Niko chuckled.

“You’re all freaks,” I couldn’t help but laugh, now feeling slightly delirious from my lack of sleep. I’d been up since six in the morning yesterday, with nothing but coffee, a single orgasm, and curiosity keeping me going. “I can never unsee what I saw,” I mumbled.

“What did you see?” Aiden urged.

I raised my head, locking eyes with him. “Everything.” I sighed, “Spikes, pinchers, pokey things, knives, horribly large objects going places they shouldn’t—it was all horrible,” I cringed.

“And you think that’s what we want?” He continued with his vague questions.

“Isn’t it?” I asked.

Niko chuckled. “Reesia tried to be sneaky, but she ended up making you watch the extremes of what we want. There’s much more to what we want than that,” he explained, setting a massive plate of food in front of me.

“Directing you to the internet was probably the worst thing she could have done,” Wyatt sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So... you don’t want to BDSM me?” I clarified.

The three of them all let out small chuckles. Aiden raised his eyebrows, an amused smile on his lips. “No, probably not like anything you saw in those videos,” he explained.

“I’m so confused,” I sighed. “Should I feel guilty for wanting all of you?” I asked, not caring about my admittance. It was obvious, and I was too exhausted to dance around the elephant in the room.

Niko perked up. “Do you?” He asked hopefully.

Before I could tell him yes, Wyatt touched my hand. “Do you understand what he’s asking, Odette? Do you know anything about polyamory or what’s expected of the dynamic we want?” He asked calmly. He wasn’t trying to push me away; he was trying to inform me.

I shook my head no. “You haven’t told me what you want.” It’s hard to have something to go off of when they haven’t explained anything.

Wyatt eyed me. “Odette, have you heard of any of the following words before?” He prompted. “Dominant. Submissive. Masochist. Sadism. Bondage. Aftercare. Sub-drop. CNC. Caregiver. Safeword. Double penetration...” he trailed off like he could have said more.

I shrugged. “Kind of?” I’d heard the words, but probably not in the context he was talking about. I know that dominant can mean someone who likes to be in power, but it can also be scientific, like a dominant and recessive gene.

Aiden’s eyes softened as he looked at me. “We should discuss this tomorrow,” he looked at Wyatt and Niko. “Because you should be blushing, and you’re not, probably too tired to understand right now. Dominic should also be here for this,” he explained. “You’re already overwhelmed and probably still in shock—”

“I’m fine?”

He grabbed my hand, holding it up. “You’re shaking.”

I slumped back in the chair. He was right. “You’ll explain tomorrow, won’t you?” I gave him a pointed look.

“Yes. For now, please eat, drink some water, and go to bed early,” he requested.

I crawled into bed, where Cat was already waiting for me. My eyes shut as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was nervous about tomorrow’s conversation, not knowing what to expect. I was confident that they wanted me just as much as I wanted them; the hopeful gleam in all their eyes made that abundantly clear.