9. Lila

Chapter 9

Lila

For an entirely new team playing against other teams who had a few seasons under their belts, we were holding our own. We'd crushed the opposing teams in our home opener and the game after that, only to get utterly blown out in Charlotte. That loss was probably good for us; Charlotte was one of the Original Ten, and they were well-established and solid, but they weren't one of the top tier teams like New York or Calgary. Having them make mincemeat of us—destroying us 8-2—was more than enough to bring us out of the clouds after going 2-0-0 for our first two games.

"Oh, right," we all realized. "We have to actually work at this if we want to win."

Yeah, that was common sense, but sometimes it only took a couple of easy wins for a team to get lazy. That thoroughly humbling game in Charlotte definitely reminded us to keep our foot on the gas.

After that, we held our own, even if we didn't win every game. By the end of our first month as a team, we had a respectable 7-3-0 record, which was enough to give us a firm hold on the third place spot in our division. Detroit was only a point behind us, though, so we needed to stay on our game.

We'd come in late last night from a game in Denver, and today was a day off. No practice. No game. No morning skate. We didn't even have a team meeting. Days like this were rare during the regular season, and everyone was taking full advantage. My teammates posted on social media about outings with their families, sleeping in, or spending the day at the spa.

I took advantage in my own way—I hit the gym at the training center, seizing the opportunity for a quiet workout on my own. Maybe one of these days I'd be able to afford a place with my own private home gym, but Faith and I didn't have the space or budget for that.

Fortunately, the training center had state-of-the-art everything. Great strength trainers, too, but I wasn't working with anyone today. I loved being able to have a gym to myself and just lift some weights and hit the bike without needing to drown anything out with my Air Pods. I hated wearing those things anyway, and right now was great—lifting happily while a local radio station played on the gym's stereo system.

My knee was sore today thanks to an awkward collision a couple of nights ago. It wasn't reinjured, just achy after I'd checked another player and our skates had tangled a little. Collette and my orthopedist weren't worried about it, but I did take it easy today, focusing on my arms instead of my legs. Even my back and shoulder workouts could put some strain on my knee, but arm workouts weren't too bad on the lower body.

I was halfway through my third set of hammer curls when the door opened from the hall. Damn. So much for having the place to myself. It was hardly my gym, though, so I couldn't really be upset.

Oh, but I could be annoyed as hell when the mirror showed me who had just walked in.

Seriously?

Yeah, seriously.

Unaware of my mood taking a nosedive, Sabrina put her water bottle into the cup holder on one of the bikes.

Eh. Whatever. The gym was open to all of us. I could be an adult and get over her being here even if I wasn't nearly as focused or relaxed anymore.

I tried to focus. I tried to relax. I was more or less successful with that, too, while she was on the bike. I was still aware of her presence, and I was still irritated because I had no desire to be around her—well, aside from that one really intense desire to be very close to her, which could shut right up—but she was over there and I was over here.

Fine.

Until she got up from the bike and, out of all the possible directions she could've gone in this enormous gym, she came to where I was working out. She put her towel and water bottle down two benches over from mine. Because of course she did.

Didn't she have a fancy, swanky-ass home gym she could use? Did she have to come here? I understood using it during off-ice team workouts, but on her own? On our day off?

Just give me some breathing room. Jesus.

That was ridiculous and I knew it. She had as much right to be here as I did. I just didn't want her here.

I couldn't control what anyone else did, but I could sure control what I did, so… fuck it. I was done working out.

I was so fixated on cleaning the bench and getting out of here, it only vaguely registered that she'd said something to me. Asked me a question, maybe? Damn, could've used some Air Pods right about then; great excuse to pretend I didn't hear someone.

I wasn't in the mood to engage, so I just grabbed my water bottle and towel, and started for the locker room without so much as a, "See you tomorrow."

I only made it two steps before Sabrina dropped the dumbbell she'd been holding, nearly hitting her foot, though she barely seemed to notice that or the loud clank . "Okay. What is your problem?"

I straightened, still startled from her throwing the weight and now caught off-guard by her question. "What?"

"Don't play stupid. You've had it out for me since day one." She crossed her arms across her sweaty tank top. "You're either taking swipes at me, or you're ignoring me like we're a couple of girls in high school who aren't speaking. What's—"

"I don't come to the gym to socialize," I said flatly. "If you do, then—"

"Oh don't even try that." She rolled her eyes. "I literally just asked if you were done with a set of weights. That's not socializing. And ignoring me, racking those weights, and storming off is obnoxious." She worked her jaw. "We're stuck playing together for the foreseeable future, so whatever your problem is…" She flailed a hand before letting it smack onto her other forearm. "Out with it."

The temptation to blow her off and stalk out of the gym was strong. I liked to think I was reasonably mature and not prone to catty bullshit, but what could I say? When I was around her, that side of me surfaced. All the resentment. All the frustration. Spend a few years constantly being in someone's shadow and see how charitable you are about them.

"Fine." I wiped the towel over my face, then dropped it onto a bench and faced her. "Maybe it's just frustrating as hell to work so hard to get here"—I gestured all around us—"only to be overshadowed by someone who gets a red carpet rolled out in front of her everywhere she does."

"Oh for fuck's sake," she snapped. "Are you still hung up on that?"

"Why shouldn't I be? You're still benefitting from everything that was handed to you, so why shouldn't—"

"Don't you dare tell me I've had anything handed to me." Sabrina stepped closer, dark eyes narrowing. "Don't you fucking dare."

Mirroring her, I crossed my arms and inclined my head. "You skated in here with a household name. This league isn't stupid, and neither is this team. They want you so people outside of women's hockey will actually—"

"And you think that could carry me this far?" She motioned in the general direction of the rink. "You think I could just go out there and do cardio while the rest of you do the work, because my name gets attention? My jersey didn't rack up those points, Lila." She tapped her chest. " I did."

"Uh-huh." I glared right back at her. "And it must've been so hard to learn when you had access to all the equipment and coaches and—"

"You have no idea what I've been up against my entire life," she snarled.

I was about to throw back that she could cry me a river. It must've been so hard, being the privileged daughter of a hockey legend, never having to worry about money or fight for a spot on a team. Yeah, must've been awful.

But the words caught in my throat when the overhead lights caught the tears welling up in her eyes.

And I froze.

Sabrina's jaw worked, and her voice was quieter now, with a ragged edge I hadn't expected. "You have no idea," she repeated. "You can make all the same assumptions everyone does. You can tell yourself and anyone who will listen that I was just handed a hockey career because I'm Doran McAvoy's daughter." She swiped at her eyes and swore, and that rawness in her voice was even more pronounced as she ground out for a third time, "You have no idea ."

Before I could make sense of anything, never mind respond, she brushed past me, leaving her water bottle by the bench along with the weights she hadn't racked.

It was a pet peeve of mine when people didn't rack their weights or wipe down their bench, but this time…

This time, I was hard-pressed to expect her to stay a second longer.

And my catty mean streak was fully MIA, too. I just felt like a jerk now. All this time, I'd thought of her like a spoiled rich girl who always had everything on easy mode, but clearly I'd miscalculated somewhere. Clearly I'd messed up. Now things were going to be unbearable with my teammate, and that fell squarely on me.

"Shit," I muttered into the mostly silent gym.

I put away her weights, wiped down the bench, and collected her water bottle. By now, she was probably in the shower, so I could just leave it by her locker. In theory, I could do that and then slip out before we crossed paths again. Shower at home or something.

But I wasn't going to be a coward. I'd already been an asshole.

So, with my heart pounding, I sat on the bench and waited.

She emerged from the showers a few minutes later, now wearing a dry T-shirt and shorts with her hair up in a white towel. A few dark, wet strands framed her face, which was fixed with fury as she gathered her things. She didn't look at me even once.

After she'd dressed, I said, "Listen, can we—"

She snatched her shoes, gym bag, and keys up off the bench and stormed out of the locker room.

I stared at the doorway she'd gone through, my mouth still open with the words I hadn't finished saying.

What the hell? She wasn't even going to give me a chance to apologize?

Maybe she needed time to cool off. Or maybe she was just going to cold-shoulder me until the end of time.

Sighing, I gathered my own things into my bag and headed out to the parking lot. As I walked, I hoped I'd find her out there, waiting to catch me off-guard and confront me. I didn't really relish the idea, but I hoped it played out that way; she deserved to say her piece, and I also wanted her to hear my apology.

But when I stepped outside, the day was still and silent. The parking lot was deserted except for my car.

Sabrina was gone.