Chapter Nineteen

Grace

Aweek into rehearsals for A Streetcar Named Desire, and even though Marla had been agitated and West had been mysteriously distant (and sported some seriously freaky-looking fingers, presumably after his last fight), I knew I had one thing going for me:

I was thriving onstage.

True, the amount of makeup I required to actually go onstage was sure to make me go bankrupt, but the ball cap was off, and I enjoyed being Blanche. Being trapped in her head was a lot like being in Gram’s head, I assumed. Confused, but smart. Sweet, but feisty. Lost, but found.

I’d decided not to think about the things Grams had told me that day in the bathtub. Something I’d told Tess resonated with me—if I couldn’t change something, I had to let it go. Even if my grandmother truly believed I was the source to all of her woes, I couldn’t change it. Not now. Probably not ever.

Finlay salivated over my performance at rehearsals, and Lauren was always sitting a few rows from the stage, cheering and clapping whenever I nailed a scene.

Even Tess had simmered down. We weren’t exactly friendly, but she was professional and made a point of not throwing any more crappy remarks my way.

We were in the midst of an early morning rehearsal, so close to the night of the premiere I could almost touch it, when we took a ten-minute break. I scurried backstage and grabbed a drink of water, talking to Finlay and Aiden after crushing the scene in which Stanley rapes Blanche.

Tess swaggered up next to me, talking to Kelly, the producer.

“Seriously, I’m so happy I started dating Reign. He is so there for me, you know? I just don’t need complex right now.” She flung her hair to one shoulder.

If it was meant for my ears, she was wasting her breath. I hoped she and Reign were happy together. However, if she thought dating someone who had been mean to me would throw me off-kilter, she was wrong.

Finlay continued talking to me as Tess sighed dramatically behind my back. “I really couldn’t see myself dating someone so dangerous and imbalanced like West. This answers-to-no-one gig just gets old at some point, you know?”

Yeah, I was sure her decision had nothing to do with the fact West had ignored her repeatedly since they’d hooked up.

“I mean, look at him, going on a second fight against this Kade Appleton guy next Friday. Who does that? Only someone with a death wish. No, thank you. I like to sleep at night knowing my boyfriend is in one piece. Even Reign tells him he should back out of the fight. But it’s a well-known fact West cares about money more than he does about the people in his life.”

My mind filled with red fog as her words sank deep into my stomach, settling in there like rocks.

He took the fight after all.

He had lied to me.

I’d asked him … No—I’d begged him to promise me that he wouldn’t pull any of the crap he fed to other girls on me, and he did.

He made me a promise, and he’d broken it.

“I need to … I need to go …”

Finlay, who was midsentence, closed his mouth, frowning at me in confusion. I grabbed my JanSport and rushed out of the auditorium. It was probably an eyeful for Tess, who must’ve known I wasn’t privy to the information she’d fed me. If any of it was even true.

Maybe she just wanted West and me to fight.

There was only one way to find out.

I burst into the hallway, looking around frantically, expecting to find West in the sea of students. This was the building he had most of his classes in, so it made sense. I scanned the ocean of heads, but couldn’t see him. I didn’t even know if he was on campus. Sher U wasn’t exactly small and consisted of a few different faculties. I took out my phone and hit dial on his name.

Straight to voicemail. I tried again. Same outcome. I texted him.

Grace: Call me. It’s urgent.

Pushing the double doors open, I searched for him outside. By the fountain. At the gym. Then headed to the cafeteria. I wanted to strangle him. Now I knew how his parents must’ve felt. I was about to head out of the cafeteria, get in the pickup, and drive to his house when I noticed a head of auburn curls in the corner of the cafeteria.

Max.

My legs carried me to him, my mind focused on one thing—preventing West from getting into the ring next Friday. Next Friday. That was why he was so agitated this week. Lord help me.

Max was chatting up a pretty girl, leaning over the wall she was plastered against. I tapped his back. He turned around slowly, his smile vanishing when he saw my face.

Feeling’s mutual, pal.

“Uh, hey?”

“Hi. I’m Grace Shaw.”

“Okay,” he said as he pushed his sunglasses up his head. “How can I help you, Grace Shaw?” He made a show of repeating my full name, like it had been dumb of me to introduce myself like that. The girl next to him snorted.

“You’re West’s bookie, right?”

His chest broadened boastfully, and he flashed me a grin.

“That’s right. You’re his flavor of the week, right?”

I ignored his jab.

“I’m here to ask you to stop the fight on Friday from happenin’.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” I narrowed my eyes. “I don’t want him in the ring with Appleton.”

“West’s a big boy.”

“He’s also not doin’ the smart thing here, and we both know that.”

“He’s about to make more money than he made in a year and a half, so with all due respect—and I have none toward you because I don’t actually know you—we’ll agree to disagree.”

I opened my mouth to answer, but he shouldered past me, forgetting about the girl he was leaving behind. He wanted to run away from this conversation before it got ugly, not knowing it was too late for that. I followed him.

“Now, I suggest if you have issues with the fight, you take it up with him personally. I’m not his momma.”

I caught his wrist in a death grip, every bone in my body burning with anger. He stopped.

“If you let this fly,” I bit out every word, my teeth clenched tightly together as I spoke, “I’ll go to the authorities with this information.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were the wrong ones. Max stilled. The chatter around the cafeteria halted. Disaster hung in the air, fat and swollen, ready to blow in my face.

No one snitched on Max and West.

No one had informed the authorities about the Sheridan Plaza parties. For years.

That was the rule.

And I’d just threatened to break it.

Max turned slowly to face me, but it was West who made my heart leap in my chest. I saw him galloping from the entrance in my direction, Easton and Reign on either side of him. His eyes skimmed the room, and when they found what they were looking for—me—he headed straight in my direction.

The first time he’d acknowledged my existence at school since we started dating, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like it.

Someone had tipped him off about my public argument with Max.

West knew what was happening.

Knew I knew about his fight. About his lies.

But I wasn’t the one who was supposed to feel the way I did. Angry, flushed, and scared. He’d broken a promise. He had a lot to answer for.

West came to a screeching halt in front of me, all bronzed muscles and barely contained fury. I took a step back and reminded myself that this was the same man who worshipped me between the sheets every night. Who acted as a caregiver to my grandmother when I broke apart. Who cared.

“Is there a problem here?” His voice dripped ice. He stared me down like I was a complete stranger again. Devoid of any emotions. I took a deep breath.

Really? That’s how you talk to me in public?

“There is, actually.” I tipped my nose up. I spotted Tess in my periphery, behind West’s back, standing next to Reign. They were pushing and whispering to each other.

“I told you not to tell her. He didn’t want her to know.” Reign groaned, and Tess shrugged helplessly, looking humbled for the first time since I’d started dating her crush.

“You lied to me, West. I asked you about taking a fight with Appleton, and you flat-out lied.”

The crowd surrounding us was thickening. People murmured and nudged each other in awe. The unshakable, imperial West St. Claire was having his ass handed to him—and by Toastie, no less. Next thing they knew, pigs would be able to fly, too.

“No one manages my business other than me.” West flashed me his teeth.

“Think again. I do. I care, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

My spine was ramrod straight, my voice stoic. Broken promise or not, I couldn’t let him kill himself for money.

“You’re my boyfriend. I have a say.”

The room sucked in a collective breath. I’d outed us without his permission, but rather than feeling embarrassed and shy, all I could feel was the blazing flame of anger.

I smiled serenely, pretending like the gasps and shocked glances didn’t hurt.

“Yup. That’s the truth, folks. West St. Claire is my boyfriend. Who would have thought, right? Different folks, different strokes, I guess.”

I turned back to West. “I told Max you can’t do the fight.”

“I can.” He took another step in my direction, an ugly sneer smearing across his gorgeous face. “And I am. You have no pull with me on this, so I suggest you go back to your little play, Gracie-Mae.”

Did he just call me Gracie-Mae? Like Grams did?

I took a step back, feeling my expression collapsing. But West, apparently, wasn’t done humiliating me. For some reason, it was important for him to shatter everything we were and leave nothing but broken pieces.

“And to make shit clear: you’re not my girlfriend, sweetheart. You’re just another notch in my never-ending belt. Just because I slept with you more than once doesn’t mean you’re going to wear my ring on your finger. The facts don’t care about your feelings, and fact is, you mean nothing to me. I screwed you because I’m screwed-up, yes.” He half-shrugged, letting all our time together roll off his back. I couldn’t breathe. Easton, behind him, buried his face in his hands, but even he didn’t stop West from saying all those things to me. I had a feeling he knew if he stepped too close, West was going to rip his head off.

“Wanna hear the truth? The big secret?” West air quoted the words with a chuckle. “Fine. I’ll humor you. When I was seventeen, my sister, Aubrey, died in a fire. The fire was my fault. She died because of me. For a while, when I looked at you, all I saw was redemption. I thought fooling around with you would give you the little pick-me-up your self-esteem had needed. But you were never more than that. There, I said it. Now get off my fucking case, Shaw.”

He turned around and left, leaving me with the flashes of phone cameras, chortles, and laughter.

All eyes were on me.

No ball cap. No boyfriend. No pride left.

Easton and Reign ran after West, trying to catch his step. Through my shock, I could see Karlie shouldering past the crowd, making her way toward me.

“Get out of my way! Out! I’m coming, Shaw. Stay put. Oof! Passing through! Make way!”

I was too numb to move.

I stood there, frozen in place, while Karlie stomped on feet and elbowed ribs to get to me in record time.

Tess was the first to snap out of her reverie. She was still standing closest to me. She jumped forward and placed her body in front of mine, covering me completely. She put her hands on her waist, huffing haughtily.

“Jesus, jerks much? Give the girl some space. What the hell are you looking at? Never seen a couple fighting before? Shoo! Shoo!”

I didn’t feel anything.

Not gratitude.

Not sadness.

Not anger.

Nothing.

“I’m going to make sure y’alls fancy iPhones are going to be smashed, or worse, if you don’t take a hike right now!” Tess’ voice boomed.

The dense ring of people finally shuffled sideways. Karlie snatched my arm, pulling me away from the throng.

“We have to make sure these videos don’t leak,” she barked at Tess, who nodded, biting down on her lip. She looked guilty, her cheeks flushed pink. As she should be. She wanted to hurt me. She just hadn’t been sure how far things were going to go.

“I’ll talk to Reign and East right quick. They’ll throw their weight if need be.”

Karlie nodded. “Text me.”

“I will.”

“Come.” Karlie wrapped her hands around me. “Let’s take you home.”