Chapter 13

13

The woman in my arms slept like the dead. And there I was like a crazed weirdo watching her sleep, wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do now. I didn't have the first clue how to make a woman happy. I knew how to take her out for a good time, fuck her, get her off, then send her on her way. I didn't do sleepovers. I sure as fuck didn't climb into a bathtub with one and wash her hair. But I'd done just that—with Sophie. And worse, I'd made promises. I'd taken it too far. I'd lost control and abused the trust she'd given me. I used her body and her innocence against her. I knew after that kiss the worst thing I could do would be to fuck her, that the moment I got inside her everything would change. And it damn well had.

I should've kept it platonic, kept her safely in the friend zone where I could get my fix while keeping my dick in my pants and her safe from my dysfunction.

But those fucking eyes and the way she stared at me like she saw right through me and all I needed to do was open the door and she'd waltz her tight ass through it and heal what ailed me. But there was no mending what was broken. There was no magic cure.

I was who I was and I knew better than to allow myself to get close to a woman. Especially one like Sophie. A woman like her destroyed a man. And when the day came when she woke up and realized she deserved better than a man who was broken and she left, I'd turn into my father.

Alone.

Ruined.

Bitter.

Sophie shifted and her eyes fluttered open.

Christ. So beautiful .

"Hey," she rasped, her voice full of sleep.

"Morning, baby."

She stretched, arching her back, pressing her tits deeper into my chest. And if that wasn't torture enough, she shifted her naked body, rubbing down the length of me. But it was her pussy on my thigh that had commanded the attention of my already stiffening cock.

My hand resting on her hip slid down and around to cup her ass. More torture, but I needed her to stop moving. She'd been sore last night. She'd be sore this morning. On that thought, my cock twitched.

"Morning," she mumbled before she turned and kissed my chest .

Now that she was awake, I needed to get out of this bed.

Instead, I laid there, liking the feel of her pressed close.

I'd never been stupid about women. I was careful, controlled, every interaction purposefully impersonal. I always held back what I needed. But not with Sophie.

She was my lethal cocktail of stupidity.

The place where desire and lust mingled in all the worst ways.

A place where hope lingered on the sideline like a siren call waiting to edge in and destroy me.

A place I had no business dragging Sophie to, but fuck if I could stop myself. What was even more fucked was, I wasn't going to put a stop to it. I was going to do everything I'd promised. I was going to make her need me like I needed her with the same raw, archaic, primal cravings.

My fate was sealed.

I was destined to become my father.

Repeat his mistakes.

The pull of Sophie was greater than the lessons he'd taught me.

And it had started in the pasta aisle of a fucking grocery store when her gaze tipped up. She'd stumbled back and I'd tumbled headfirst into a pair of pretty eyes. It had happened so fast I'd been rooted in place, too stunned to chase after her.

"What time do you work today?" Her question pulled me back to the present, reminding me I needed to get up before my dick forgot she was sore.

"We're on nights this week, so three. But I'm also on call."

"So we have time…" She let that hang.

We had more than enough time. Which was precisely the problem.

"Soph—"

"Let me, please." My warning stalled and my stomach muscles contracted as her soft hand traveled down toward my very hard dick. "I didn't get to touch you last night."

Last night I'd been more concerned with preparing her to take me than allowing her to explore.

Sophie's hand circled my erection and fisted tight.

"Is that too much?"

"No," I grunted my approval.

Slowly—excruciatingly, agonizingly slowly—she glided her hand down my shaft to the base.

"My fingers don't touch." It was impossible to miss the awe in her voice and when she went on I couldn't stop my smile. "I can't believe that fit."

"If you keep calling my cock a ‘that' I'm gonna get a complex," I teased.

"Please," she scoffed. "I could call it Mini Valentine and you and your big dick would be just fine."

She was wrong about that.

And not because I cared about what she called my dick. There was nothing ‘ just fine' about me.

I opted not to speak when she slid her hand up and used her thumb to circle the tip.

"Is that sensitive?"

Jesus fuck, I was going to die.

"Yes."

"More than the base?"

"Yes."

"So you like it when I do this?"

Another graze with her thumb, this time adding the edge of her nail to lightly scrape.

"Yes."

"What about this?"

She didn't move her hand but her cheek slid down my stomach, her hair pooled over my chest, and when she made it to her destination her tongue replaced her thumb.

Good Christ .

"Yeah, baby, I like that," I unnecessarily confirmed.

I moved my hands up, threaded my fingers, and rested my head on top of them to stop myself from gathering up all that silky hair and using it to guide her deeper.

Her mouth was wet and warm and so fucking inviting I had to clench my ass so I wouldn't thrust up and fuck her mouth. The longer I let her play the harder it became—my cock and the need to take over.

My control snapped when on a downward glide with her tongue making magic, she took me deeper and I felt the tip hit the back of her throat, accompanying the sexy-as-all-fuck sound of her gagging.

I could take no more.

I freed my hands, used her hair to pull her mouth from my cock, shifted until I got my hands under her pits, and hauled her up my chest.

"Climb up, Sophie. I want you on my face."

Her eyes widened and for a moment she hesitated.

If I hadn't already fallen down the wrong side of hope with this woman, watching her tremble as she nervously climbed up would've sent me over the edge. It wasn't the apprehension she'd turned into lust. It was the absolute trust.

A better man would've put an end to the madness. I, however, scooted her higher, and when I had her cunt where I wanted it, I feasted on the insanity. I took everything she didn't know she was offering and devoured her pussy like the prick I was. I drank down her excitement. Desperate in my pursuit for her climax. Once again, I was thrust back into my frantic need to drag her under. Make her lose her mind, bend her, own her pleasure because I would never own her heart.

I didn't deserve her, or her trust, or her body.

But still I took her, until her thighs on either side of my head shook and she mewled her orgasm. One hand left her ass to reach for a condom. My other hand moved to tear open the wrapper and roll the latex down my aching cock. I slid out from under her, got to my knees behind her, gritted my teeth, and took everything .

Every. Fucking . Thing.

I took her scream as she took half my length in one thrust. I took her moan when I pulled out. I took her exhale, her full-body tremble, and her whimper when I gave her the rest of me.

"Brace on the headboard, Sophie."

I waited for her to curl her fingers over the top of the wooden frame.

"Good, baby."

Despite the war raging in my chest I set an easy pace. Slowly giving her more. Slowly working her up until she was meeting my drives. Slowly taking her with me—to the place I'd only been with her. Where reality couldn't creep in. To a place that was free of the garbage that lived in my head.

Mindless.

Just me and her.

This.

A place where I was not alone, lonely, and broken.

A place where I could breathe her in and hope like fuck she didn't see me for who I really was.

"Valentine," she groaned.

Her cunt was impossibly tight. I fought my way in and out. Held onto every ounce of control I had. She wasn't there yet. I needed more.

"Not yet."

"I'm gonna?—"

"Not yet. "

I slowed my strokes and kept her on the edge with me.

"Honey," she panted.

"Not yet."

My hands on her hips moved in opposite directions. One slid up to cup to her tit, using my finger and thumb to roll her nipple, the other down to toy with her clit. Purposefully not giving her enough.

"More."

I pinched her nipple but my finger on her clit slowed.

"Not yet, baby."

With my jaw clenched, I drove my hips forward, giving her one hard thrust.

"Oh, God. So close."

"I know you are. I can feel your pussy clutching?—"

" My pussy?" she panted. "Last night it was your pussy."

Fuck .

There was no more doubt—Sophie Huxley was going to be my downfall.

"You giving me this?" I punctuated my question. I ground deep and rolled her clit.

"I can't give what's already yours."

Jesus fucking Christ.

"And these? Are they mine, too?" I gave her nipple a hard tug.

"Yes," she hissed.

The blood coursing through my veins heated. The left side of my chest started to burn .

More .

I needed more.

"And if I wanted more you'd give it to me?" I asked, knowing I was a motherfucking bastard.

"Yes."

"Cunt. Tits. Ass. They're mine?"

Seeing as I was already a world-class asshole and playing a dangerous game of moral gymnastics, I went for the gold and I pushed.

"And if I wanted more, would you give it? If I want all of you. Everything."

Too much of a coward, I didn't give her a chance to answer. I took her to the place I needed her to be, using my cock and fingers to drive her out of mind and behind the wall of pleasure where I knew she'd agree to anything.

"Yes!" she shouted as her orgasm took hold.

I rocked forward, planted deep, and let her sweep me under with her cunt pulsing and seizing, taking me away from my fucked life and pulling me into hers. With each rope of pleasure she pulled from me, I knew this was it; she'd leave and I'd turn into the very person I despised. Yet I did nothing to fight against it.

I might've laid claim to her body. She might've freely given it to me in return. But she'd stolen my soul, and in return I'd fucked her and given her my broken heart.

A heart that could never love her the way she deserved to be loved.

I didn't know how.

The man who was supposed to teach me had left me hanging.