54

Piper

Potential Sperm Donor

There was a horrible little monster resting on my conscience in the elevator. Which was dumb. Probably the dumbest thing I could've been worrying about. There were my classes—getting more difficult by the day—my first overnight shift—just around the corner—and the big floor events I was throwing during them. But the only thing I could think about was Adam .

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He was a grown man. He could take care of himself.

I spotted my parents beyond the desk assistant station, and a huge grin crossed my face. At least I could step away from all the head spinning for a while. I broke into a run and tugged them both into a huge hug, almost knocking them down.

Some college students might've been embarrassed about it or played it cool, but I didn't care. It had been forever and a half since I'd seen them. My dad had grown out his beard and my mom was wearing the sweater I got her last Christmas. I squeezed them tighter, on the way to cutting off circulation.

"Hey, kiddo." My dad laughed. "Wow. Look at this place. Marrs, huh? It's so interesting that the football team is named the Romans and the hockey team is named the Gladiators . Like the Gladiators were a distinguished step away from Romans! Unless they were taken from somewhere beyond the empire—and I suppose you could get into a debate about the hierarchy of what made a free citizen—"

I laughed. "Dad, I missed you so much."

"Oh my god, the traffic was horrific." My mom shuddered and pulled out her purse to put away her phone. "There are fifty signs on every highway here I could barely read any of them. How does anyone drive in Houston? It's a nightmare."

I wiggled my eyebrows. "They can't drive here. That's the secret."

One of the guys from the housing committee wove at me from down the hall. "Hey, Piper!"

I quickly waved back and encircled my parents towards the front entrance. "I've missed you so much."

"What? I thought you were doing well?" My mom frowned.

"Piper!" One of my bosses stuck her head out of her office. "We have extra donuts, did you want any?"

"No, thank you!" I hurried to say. The longer we were in the lobby, the more we would get swarmed by people. It wasn't like I didn't like my building. I did . But inevitably the topic of the football player who spent twenty-four seven with me was bound to be brought up.

Zariah burst in front of me, bags under her eyes. "Holy shit, Piper, am I glad to see you." She paused, blinking twice. "Wow. There's…two Pipers?"

I smiled. "Zariah, these are my parents."

"She's my carbon copy." My mom squeezed me into a hug. "I cloned her."

"The Fontaines! I'm Zariah." Zariah shook their hands but turned back to me quickly, absolutely exhausted. "Girl, I'm on an overnight, and the elevator's shot on the east side here. The RAs are trapped—they have me doing this and my own dorm. Could you do me a huge, huge, huge favor and help whoever's trapped in the hall of shame?"

I perked up. It would be a quick errand and I could bring my parents along, show them the ropes, and we could leave out that exit instead. Perfect. I glanced at them. "You guys don't mind, right?"

"What's the hall of shame?" My mother lifted one of her perfect eyebrows.

I explained as quickly as I could and showed them to the desk assistant station, placing my phone and wallet up on the desk. With a couple of buttons, I brought out the single key needed and walked over to prop open the door.

The hall of shame was a temporary name for a temporary problem. It looked like a safe exit from the dorm. But once you stepped inside, sometimes the door locked behind you, and the only way out was through the emergency exit, sure to set off the alarms in the building. Everybody called it the hall of shame as a joke.

One-night stands inevitably ended up there if they didn't want to be seen. We had to rescue them pretty often, but it also meant I could use the emergency key to turn off the alarms and usher my parents out.

" Piper Fontaine !" My mom sucked in a breath. "Who is Potential Sperm Donor?"

I glanced up with a frown. " What? "

"Potential Sperm Donor?" my mom repeated. "Who is this young man?"

"Mom, I don't know what you're talking about."

My dad grimaced. "I…suppose you're an adult…"

My eyes narrowed when I saw they were both peeking at my phone. Oh my god. I hurried over to them and swiped my phone, yanking it up to check the message.

potential sperm donor: do you want anything for the 24 hour shift

Adam!

My mouth fell open, and a blush seared my skin. I knew exactly who swiped my phone and changed the name of his contact. And just when I changed it back. Ugh, when did he do it? I struggled with a response for a moment, glancing back and forth between my parents and the screen.

My mom looked at me. "You didn't mention anything about intrauterine insemination—"

"Oh my god, mom ." I squeezed my eyes shut. "It's a joke name! He's not my actual sperm donor! Not that I have a sperm donor! Oh my god…"

The desk assistant lowered his magazine, peering at us over it.

" You put his name as Potential Sperm Donor?" My dad frowned.

"No, he did!"

"Let me see if I have this right…" Pushing her glasses up, my mom pursed her lips. "This…young man put his name in your phone as an ejaculation jibe and you don't believe he means anything about this at all? Piper Elizabeth Fontaine, I work with college students every day. Your budding sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. Your hormones are at a ripe time—"

My dad nodded. "That is correct. A very ripe time."

I loved my parents and I would always love them, but their deadly serious view of the world wasn't one that we could embark on in the middle of my work building. People were starting to stare. The desk assistant was practically eating popcorn.

Stumbling away, I hurried to the hall of shame door, ready to get them out of there and for the day to actually begin.

"I'll be right back, I just have to help this resident!" I shouted at them, right over the two of them, still discussing the various hormones that prompted mammalian animals to breed.

The moment the door closed behind me, I let out a breath of relief and sent a reply.

Piper Fontaine: I can't BELIEVE you!!!!

Piper Fontaine: My parents saw your name!!!!

I hurried to change it, but Adam sent me a message a second later.

potential sperm donor: haha

potential sperm donor: forgot about that

Crossing the hallway, I rolled my eyes. Another prank from Adam, of course. He'll get what's coming to him.

June, Zariah, and I had finished the pregnancy notice envelope, I just needed to slip it into his room. We'd see who laughed then.