Chapter 62

CHAPTER 62

MARLOW

I stood outside the studio door, my heart pounding in my chest. The glossy magazine cover with my face on it flashed through my mind, a reminder of the betrayal I felt. Taking a deep breath, I knocked firmly. Moments later, the door swung open, revealing the interviewer I once thought I had a bond with. The woman who probably lied about her own story just to get me to talk. It pissed me off, but I knew it was me that was to blame.

I knew better.

"Hey, Marlow," she said with a smile, a hint of surprise in her voice. "What brings you here?"

I forced a smile. "Can we talk?"

She nodded, stepping aside to let me in. "Did you see the cover? I thought the photos turned out great!"

"Yes, they were nice," I said with no enthusiasm.

Her office was a mess, papers everywhere with a laptop on one side and a tablet propped up on another side. "Sorry about the mess." She laughed. "I'm working on a new story. Have a seat."

"I'll stand," I said. "This won't take long."

She gave me a funny look. "Is everything okay?"

"No, it's not okay."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm disappointed," I began, my voice steady but filled with emotion. I was angry and hurt. Two emotions that were too difficult to hold back. "I thought we had an understanding. I trusted you. You purposely drew me into that conversation. You wanted me to feel like you were a kindred spirit. And then you went behind my back and used off-the-record information for the article."

Her face fell, and she looked genuinely remorseful. "Marlow, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to. My boss pressured me. She thought our post-interview conversation was much more compelling than the one on the record."

"So, you recorded our conversation?"

"My recorder was still going," she said. "I didn't realize it."

"Of course not," I said sarcastically. "Have you ever been married? Did you just make all that up to get me to open up?"

"No!" she gasped. "I mean, yes, I was married and divorced. I didn't make it up. I was playing the recording in my office, working on the article. My boss overheard a portion of it. When I turned in the article, she didn't like it. She asked to hear the whole recording."

"And you gave it to her," I said with a shake of my head.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking truly remorseful.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I get it. I understand the pressure. But it created a lot of problems for me. Personal problems."

"What can I do to fix it?" she asked, her eyes pleading.

"Nothing," I said firmly. "What's done is done. I just wanted to look you in the eyes and tell you that you let me down. You stabbed me in the back and lied to my face. I thought you were better than that. Women should look out for each other. Maybe you'll keep that in mind the next time an opportunity like this falls into your lap."

"Marlow, I didn't know it was going to cause you trouble," she said. "I didn't write anything negative."

She was partly right. It wasn't negative, but it painted me as someone unhappy and dissatisfied with my life choices, like I wasn't going to be happy until I conquered the world. "You wrote about a conversation you told me was off the record. It's people like you that make people distrust reporters. I really hope you will do better in the future."

She nodded, her expression a mix of guilt and understanding. "I will. I'm truly sorry, Marlow."

Without another word, I turned and left the studio, feeling a small sense of closure. I held my head high, refusing to cry. Kyla was waiting for me in the car, having accompanied me right after I stormed out of the office and quit my job. She insisted on taking me to the studio, claiming I wasn't in any condition to drive. She was probably right. I had way too many feelings running through me. Too many to even name.

I slid into the passenger seat and let out a long exhale.

She looked at me expectantly. "How did it go?"

I shook my head. "About as well as it could. She apologized, but it doesn't change anything. It still created a mess."

"Did you yell at her?"

"No, I didn't need to. I just made it clear it was a dick move. She knew she fucked up. It doesn't make me like her, but it is what it is. She's just trying to get ahead. We all are."

"Some of us have integrity," she retorted.

"You've got that right," I said.

Kyla sighed, starting the engine. "So, what do we do now?"

I stared out the window, feeling a mix of frustration and sadness. "I have no idea."

"Retail therapy?" she offered with a hopeful smile.

"Nope," I replied, shaking my head.

"Movie night?"

"Not in the mood."

"Wine?"

I finally managed a small smile. "Yes. Wine sounds perfect."

We headed back to Kyla's place. It was a sanctuary for me, free from reminders of Spencer. I swore I could still smell the man in my place.

"Get comfy and I will open the wine," she said. "Do you want to order a pizza?"

"Sure," I said and pulled out my phone. "What kind?"

"Surprise me," she said. "Just nothing with anchovies."

Kyla laughed as she disappeared into the kitchen. I quickly ordered pizza and all the extras. If we were going to binge drink and pig out, I wanted to do it right. It wasn't like I had to work tomorrow.

Kyla walked in with two glasses of wine.

"Pizza is on the way," I said, taking a drink from my glass. "I really hope you have more than one bottle in this place."

"You know I do." She grinned. "Alright, you've been holding back. Tell me what happened with Spencer. One minute you guys are happy and had a bright future and then you quit. Which means we quit, and Spencer stormed out, and that's that."

I took another drink and the floodgates opened. I let all my feelings out, sharing with my best friend how I thought Spencer had changed.

"I'm mad at myself for being na?ve enough to think I could be the one to change him," I admitted, swirling the wine in my glass. "And now I realize this is exactly what Rhett said would happen. I've cost him another friendship. Not that I give a shit about that right now."

Kyla frowned, her eyes filled with empathy. "You didn't cost him his friendship with Dakota. Dakota ruined that one on his own. And Spencer ruined this one. And Rhett was still an ass. He's not off the hook because Spencer might have proved him right."

"I never should have pursued Spencer in the first place," I said, shaking my head at my own foolishness. "Why did it all have to fall apart now?"

"Hindsight is always twenty-twenty," Kyla said softly, resting a hand on my shoulder. "And if you hadn't tried, you always would have wondered."

"I did tell him we could split my family in the divorce," I muttered. "As angry as I am with him, I know how much he loves my parents, and they love him. I just told him we'll have to coordinate our visits. And I suppose Rhett can still be friends with him. I don't have to be involved."

Kyla looked at me aghast. "Marlow, you are not married to him! You don't have to share your family."

"It's just that everyone loved him, and I know his family is just, well, not mine. He deserves to have someone in his life. It just won't be me."

"You deserve someone that is going to support your career and ambitions," she said. "If a man loves you, he's going to want you to be happy."

I knew she was right, but it did nothing to lift the weight smothering my heart. I barely touched my wine, the bitterness of the past few days making it hard to enjoy. I needed a distraction from my own disastrous love life.

"Tell me about this guy you've been seeing," I said, forcing a smile. "I need something to take my mind off things."

Kyla hesitated. "Are you sure? Maybe we should wait until this breakup with Spencer isn't so fresh. I feel guilty being happy."

"I insist," I said, leaning back on the couch. "Please, I need to hear about something good."

Reluctantly, Kyla started talking about her new guy, her face lighting up with each word. As she described his kindness, his sense of humor, and the way he made her feel special, I felt a pang of envy. He sounded like one of the good ones.

Would I ever find one of those?

I tried to push the thought away, focusing instead on Kyla's happiness. She deserved it, and I was genuinely happy for her. But deep down, a part of me couldn't help but wonder if I was destined to be alone, my success always coming at the cost of my personal happiness.

The doorbell rang. "Pizza," I said.

"I'll get it," she said. "You refill our wine glasses."

Mine was only half-empty but I got up and went to the kitchen.

I grabbed the bottle of wine and poured myself another glass, then filled Kyla's. The movements were mechanical. My mind was churning with thoughts of Spencer and the wreckage of our relationship. My heart ached at the thought of everything we'd lost. We had been so close to being happy. It was within reach and now it was gone. I tried to tell myself it was just a mood, and he would be fine. But I didn't want to deal with mood swings. I didn't want to feel like I had to hold back because he might not like it. We ended now or we ended after a lot of frustration and hurt feelings.

Kyla returned with the pizza box, the scent of it filling the room. She set it down on the coffee table. Her eyes sparkled as she sat back down on the couch.

"Dinner is served," she declared. "Let's eat."

We dug into the pizza, eager to distract ourselves with food and wine. The pizza was good, rich with flavor, cheesy and hot. I dipped my breadstick in the ranch dressing, splurging and loving it.

"Why is pizza so fattening?" Kyla sighed as she reached for another slice.

"Because all the best things in life are," I replied, smiling for the first time that night. "Honestly, I'd rather have a good pizza than a good man at this point."

Kyla laughed at that. "I can't argue with that. Pizza rarely disappoints."

I allowed myself to forget about Spencer and the mess he had created. I focused on the grease staining my fingers and the satisfying crunch of crust against my teeth.

After stuffing our faces and finishing a bottle of wine, I was ready for bed.

"Thanks, Kyla," I said, giving her a hug as we finally decided to call it a night. "I needed this."

"Anytime, Marlow," she replied, squeezing me tight. "I'll be right here. Call me tomorrow and let me know what the hell we're doing."

"I'm so sorry I quit without even consulting you."

"It's fine." She shrugged. "I go where you go."

I headed home after calling for a ride, feeling a bit lighter but still burdened by the weight of everything that had happened. As I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, I thought about Spencer.

Even if I was mad at him, I hoped he was alright.