Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

MARLOW

A s I wrapped up my keynote speech at the business conference for women in New York City, I took in the sight of the crowd rising to their feet, whooping and hollering for me. The applause was deafening, a wave of sound that should have filled me with pride. Instead, it left me feeling like an imposter. I knew I had worked hard and earned this success, but standing there in the spotlight, the moment felt so much bigger than I had ever dreamed possible.

I was just me. Marlow Graylan. The girl from Stone Ridge. How in the world did I end up here? I smiled and waved one last time at the adoring crowd.

I made my exit off the stage, being careful not to trip. I shook hands with several young women who approached me.

One of them clutched my book to her chest, her knuckles white as she clung to it like it was worth more than the twenty-four dollars and ninety-nine cent sticker on the back. "It's so nice to meet you, Miss Graylan! I've read your books. All of them!"

"Thank you." I smiled. "It's always heartwarming to hear that."

She tucked a curly piece of hair behind her ear. "Your strategies led me to new discoveries in business and about myself."

"Good," I said with a small laugh. "That's the goal."

"Thank you so much for your wisdom and honesty," she gushed. The hair she'd just tucked behind her ear fell free, and she erratically tucked it back as if irritated with it. She bounced on the balls of her feet and reached out to clasp my hand. Her grip was warm and clammy. "The compassionate delivery of the hard truths about getting our shit together and stopping the lies we tell ourself if we want real change? It was the wake-up call I needed."

I was a little stunned by her bluntness, but my book was meant to do exactly that. "Thank you for reading," I said. "I just want to help people, and I'm thrilled it's helping you."

"Thank you so much, Marlow," another young woman said, gripping my hand tightly as soon as the curly-haired woman released me. "Your words changed my life."

"I'm glad to hear that," I replied, smiling despite the knots in my stomach. "Keep pushing forward. Persistence is the key to success."

After a few more handshakes and heartfelt conversations, my best friend and assistant, Kyla, found me in the crowd. We locked eyes, and my bestie gave me a curt nod that promised she'd have me out of there momentarily. Kyla to the rescue.

"I'm sorry, ladies, but Marlow has another appointment," Kyla said, carefully extracting me from my fans. "Thank you so much for coming out."

She led me outside and directly into the backseat of the luxury town car parked outside the conference center. As soon as the door closed behind me, I heaved a sigh of relief and slumped against the seat, abandoning my alter ego of the boss bitch and melting into my laid-back self.

"You rocked it, Marlow," Kyla said, her enthusiasm genuine. She handed me a magazine. "Check this out."

I looked at the cover of the women's business magazine, which featured a glossy photo of me. "Look at your boobs," Kyla gushed. "What bra did the wardrobe people put you in? They're up to your chin!"

I winced at the shot. Sure, I could see how the bra did me a lot of favors, along with the shapewear, makeup, and professional hairstyling, but I felt like I was looking at a stranger. I placed the magazine face down on the seat beside me.

"What else is on the schedule for today?" I asked, hoping to distract myself.

Kyla pulled out her tablet. "You have an info-gathering meeting with a new sneaker company to prepare for pitching them your marketing strategy. Then you have several calls lined up with existing clients, about sixty inquiries to go through if you're interested in helping market their products, and lastly, a virtual meeting with a college upstate that wants you to come lecture their business classes."

"Gee, is that it?" I asked.

"It's only twenty miles from Stone Ridge," Kyla added cheerfully.

That got my attention. "Really?"

"If you go, you could stay with your folks and not deal with another night in a hotel. I know you're getting sick of them."

I nodded, feeling a pang of longing for the familiarity and comfort of home. Hustle was my life, and it was what I preached in my books, but right then, I could do with some relaxation.

"Okay." I nodded. "That's a good idea. My mom is always saying I don't visit enough."

"Then I will confirm you'll be there," she said, already tapping away on her tablet.

"Did I ramble too much?" I asked absently.

"What?"

"Do you think I rambled too much there in the middle? I think I need to tighten the speech up a little. I feel like I might have lost some of them. I saw one woman yawn."

Kyla chuckled. "Marlow, you were fantastic up there. You captivated the entire audience. And that woman who yawned? She was probably just sleep-deprived or jet-lagged. Don't overthink it."

I sighed, letting her words sink in. Maybe I was being too hard on myself, as usual. I was my own worst critic. "Thanks, Kyla. Where would I be without you?"

"Probably right where you are now," she said with a smile. "Only way sadder and less organized. Now, let's focus on the tasks at hand and get you ready for the upcoming meetings and calls."

As the town car navigated through the bustling New York streets, I leaned back and closed my eyes. I worked hard to get to this level of success. I was always a little worried about what would happen if I took my foot off the gas. How long would it take for me to lose my clout in the marketing world? Would they forget me in a week? A month?

It was one of the reasons I put myself out there constantly and rarely took any time off. I knew this popularity game was fickle. I was acutely aware I could be forgotten tomorrow. I wanted to get the biggest bite of the apple I could before it faded away.

Kyla tapped away on her iPad. She pretty much ran my life with that thing. I wasn't even sure how I would function without her. I didn't intend to ever find out. She was paid well to make sure she didn't get any ideas about checking out the grass on the other side of the fence. Without her, I would sink.

"Oh, looks like those new outfits you ordered are ready to be picked up," she said.

"Good." I nodded. "I'm so ready for fall wear. Did the boots come in?"

"Not yet, but they should be here soon," Kyla replied. "I'll have them sent to the office in case you're still out of town." She turned her attention back to her tablet. I closed my eyes again, letting the blare of car horns and the yell of frustrated cab drivers fade into the background, replaced by the sound of Kyla tapping away on her screen.

I marveled at how effortlessly we had fallen into this rhythm. The demands of my career had been relentless, but Kyla had become the steadfast navigator keeping everything on track. We were a team. A damn good team. We had grown up together, molded by the challenges and victories of my climb to the top. And boy, were there a lot of challenges.

By the time we arrived at my apartment building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, I was ready to collapse. Kyla and I got out of the car. "Come up and we'll open that bottle of wine that company delivered last week," I said. "It looked expensive."

"Sure," she said as she tucked her iPad into her shoulder bag. "I'm not going to turn down free wine. Free good wine."

It had been one of those days. We walked into my apartment, turning on a few lights as I walked to the elegant bar in the corner. The stunning views of Central Park through the floor-to-ceiling windows made my apartment feel so much bigger than it already was. I poured us some wine, but all I could think about was the moment I could finally take off my bra and slip into my tub. I was addicted to bubble baths and I wasn't even a little bit ashamed of it. I enjoyed pampering myself when I had a chance. On the rare occasions I had free time, I went to spas and got massages and facials and whatever new thing they were offering. I worked hard for my money and I appreciated the rewards.

"What do you think?" I asked after she took a few sips.

"It's good," she said.

After we had chitchatted a bit, Kyla's expression turned more serious. "You had one other call today," she said. "From you know who."

I groaned. "And what did he want?"

"He saw the magazine cover."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he did. "So what?"

"He's pissed that they brought his name up in the article."

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "If he didn't want to be written about like an asshole, then he shouldn't have behaved like an asshole."

Kyla nodded in agreement, but I could see the concern in her eyes. She knew better than to say anything.

I took a sip of my wine and tried to push negative thoughts out of my mind. "Tell me more about this sneaker company," I said, steering the conversation back to work.

Kyla's face lit up. "They're a startup with a lot of potential. They're looking for a fresh marketing strategy to help them break into the mainstream market. I think they could be a great fit for us."

"Sounds promising," I said, my mind already spinning with ideas. "Let's make sure we're prepared for the meeting."

We spent the next hour going over the details of the sneaker company and brainstorming strategies. It felt good to dive into work, to focus on something other than the lingering doubts and insecurities that always seemed to haunt me after big events like the conference. The image I presented to the world was a strong, confident, bad-ass bitch, but inside, I was still the awkward teenager who was just a little curvier than the rest of the girls in school. I was never the girl the guys were chasing after. That girl still lived in the back of my mind and sometimes she could be very loud.

As the evening wore on, Kyla and I shared more wine and laughter, our conversation drifting from work to personal stories and memories.

"Do you ever feel like it's all too much?" I asked Kyla at one point, my voice softer than usual.

Kyla looked at me with understanding. "Sometimes, yeah. But you're not alone, Marlow. You've got a whole team behind you, and we all believe in you." Kyla glanced at the time and sighed. "I should probably get going. Early start tomorrow."

"Yeah, me too," I agreed, though the thought of another busy day was exhausting. "Thanks for everything today."

"Always," she said, giving me a hug. "Get some rest, okay?"

"I will," I promised, though we both knew it was easier said than done.

After Kyla left, I immediately went into my luxury bathroom and started filling the huge tub. I had a ridiculous assortment of scented bubble baths. I selected a calming lavender and mint and dumped it in. I did splurge for the good stuff.

I stripped down, freeing my breasts from the bra meant to contain the girls. They sighed with relief. I sank into the tub, letting the water soothe my tired muscles. As I soaked, I thought about the upcoming meeting with the sneaker company and the possibility of visiting Stone Ridge. The idea of spending some time with my family was tempting. They were my touchstone. To them, I was still Marlow. They didn't care about how popular I was or how much money I had. They just wanted to see me. Mom would demand I do the dishes and Dad would want me to sit out back with him and drink a cold beer while he told me all about his latest fishing trip. I missed the simplicity of home, the way it grounded me in a world that often felt chaotic and overwhelming.

When I finally climbed into bed, my mind was still buzzing with thoughts of work and home, success and doubt. I had built a life I was proud of, and even though it wasn't always easy, it was mine. And for now, after everything that had happened in the past couple of years, that was enough.

Too bad it felt like something was missing. I had the world at my fingertips and no one to share it with. Maybe it was silly to think I could have it all, but deep down, I wished I had a good man with a good heart at my side.

I sighed. Might as well wish for a flying pony while I'm at it.