25. Naomi

"Stop looking at your phone."

I tossed my phone down beside me on the couch. "He's not usually this late on a Monday."

Iona rolled her eyes. "Keeping tabs on him now?"

"No." I scrunched down and crossed my arms. To be honest, I was usually the one that had to be sought out. But I was excited to tell him that I'd finished the first draft of my book. "I just had good news for him."

"Well, lay it on me instead." Iona stood and went to the fridge. She came back with two glasses of wine and handed me one. "Pals before peens."

I snickered and sat up. "You're right. I finished the book."

"What?" She set her glass down and launched herself at me. Iona wasn't exactly the most demonstrative person, especially sober.

We fell into a giggling pile. I wrapped my arms around her, making sure my glass didn't dump down her back.

She sat next to me and reached for her glass to hold it up. "Now that deserves a cheers."

"Cheers." Something inside me was a little sad that I didn't tell Colder first. But Iona was the first one to be the most supportive. She definitely deserved to know first.

"I didn't know you were that close."

"Yeah, I've been a mad woman for the last few days as I figured out the ending. I'm ninety percent sure it's there."

I just had to clean everything up on the next pass. Little changes that needed to be made to fit the characters who were now more fully formed.

There was such a learning curve to actually finishing a book.

It had been more than half done when I'd started. Actually, it had been closer to three quarters, but with rewrites, it felt as if I'd started all over again. Even if the rewrites were more like additions. Fleshing out the bones I'd already had.

"I'm so proud of you."

Swallowing hard, I teared up. "Iona, don't get me going."

She pointed a finger at me. "No waterworks. Then I'll cry, and I hate fucking crying."

I sniffled and sucked them back. "Nope. No crying."

"Hey!"

"I'm not crying." I dabbed at the corners of my eyes to stop the flow. "I just can't believe I finished it."

"I can. When you put your mind to something, you're definitely a finisher." She winked. "That's what she said."

I laughed since it was a well-abused saying on one of Iona's favorite shows, The Office. "The next problem is querying. God, I started doing research this afternoon and I'm just..." I put my hand over my suddenly churning belly. "It's overwhelming."

"You can always self pub if you don't want to leap into that rat race."

"I know. And I will if there's no bites. But I have so many decisions to make." I took a fortifying sip of my wine. My list had lists. And all of them were overwhelming. "Let's just say writing the book is the easy part."

"Maybe you should find an agent. Wait, I know." Iona held up her hand. "I know you know a lot about the publishing world, but nonfiction is a different beast. It can't hurt to actually research that part."

I collapsed against the cushion. "Maybe."

I'd been on Reddit boards and enough Discord channels to make my head spin. Horror stories about submissions and how long the process had taken had killed any appetite I had.

I should have just stewed in the good part for a little longer.

"Damn your planning brain." Iona pulled her feet up to crisscross her legs.

I laughed. "I was just thinking the same. But time is running out. I only have a few more weeks of my severance."

"Somehow May is right on top of us."

"I know. And it's going to take a lot of time to do the queries and there's no guarantee that anyone will give a shit about the book."

"Hey! No defeatist talk already. You haven't even started that stuff."

"I know." But I couldn't help but feel the countdown starting. "I still have to make a living in the interim."

"If you say tech edits, I'm going to tie you up in that bedroom."

"You're the best friend I've ever had, Iona. But at least tech edits pay."

"And it will drown you and your creativity. You've told me what kind of hours those poor people have to do and now so much of this crap AI stuff is involved too. Nope. No way, girl. You are not going there. Maybe you could do a different job altogether. You know, one that isn't going to drain your entire personality away."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. But that's what job hunting places are for."

"Ugh."

"But we're not going to discuss that today. Today is for celebrating." Iona popped up off the couch. "We're going to plan a party."

"A party? No."

"Yep. That's exactly what we're going to do. Get out your notebook. We're going to plan a party for your book."

"It's not sold."

"I don't care. It's something to celebrate. And we'll just make it a reason to have a party up in the garden. I'm actually not traveling this week, so it's perfect." She pushed me. "Go get one of those pretty notebooks."

"Okay, okay." I rose and went to my bedroom. I gathered the supplies—sticky notes, pens, and a few highlighters. It wasn't a bad idea, actually. Not just for my book, but because I wanted to enjoy some time with my friends.

We spent the next hour making lists of food, booze, and a movie to watch on the big screen projector that was on the roof. Something that fit the tone of my book but would be fun for everyone.

In the end, we decided to go with How to Train Your Dragon. My novel was decidedly not kid like, but the adventure aspect of that movie was a perfect, lighthearted way to end the night. And I loved Toothless, so there was that.

There was a knock on the door at eleven. Finally.

I rushed over and swung it open, leaping into his arms without ceremony.

He caught me and then his mouth was on mine. He tasted of whiskey, which was not exactly a rare occurrence, but definitely not the usual. For being in a bar most of his time, Colder wasn't a big drinker.

When he set me down inside, I tipped my head back. "Are you buzzed?"

He nodded. "I am."

"Is that why you're late?"

"It is." He tapped my nose. "You're so pretty."

I laughed as I wrinkled my nose.

"Cal showed up after work and wanted to talk to me."

I frowned. "Is that a bad thing?"

"I don't know yet." He laughed. "Sorry, he plied me with Jameson and it's been a while since I've drank with the boss. He's no lightweight."

I pulled him inside. "Let me get you some food."

"Probably a good idea."

I pushed him onto the couch.

He grinned at Iona and reached for her glass of wine.

She nipped it out of his hand. "Think you're good, Romeo."

He pushed out his lower lip adorably.

I hurried over to the kitchen and grabbed some bread, making him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It was the easiest thing to fill his stomach. And because he was Colder, I made two. I plopped them on a plate and came back to find him with his arms spread out along the top of the couch, his eyes already closed.

Iona moved to the loveseat, still holding both our glasses. "Think he might be a little more drunk than we think."

"Not like him." I couldn't decide if I should be worried or not.

"The half smile on his face says it's probably nothing bad."

"You think?"

Suddenly, he sat up, his silvery blue eyes red-tinged and unfocused. He spotted me and dragged me close, linking his arms around my waist. "Hi."

I laughed and stroked his hair, holding the plate up. "Hi."

"And that's enough for me." Iona stood. "You can enjoy drunkie. I'm going to go watch TV in my room. I have an early day."

"I thought you said you weren't going out of town?"

"Nope. Just into Rochester. I'll be back around dinner."

"Okay. How about pizza?"

"Pizza!" Colder grinned up at me. He really was pretty buzzed. Adorably so.

"Guess pizza wins for everyone." Iona lifted her wine glass to me. "Have fun with that."

"Gee, thanks."

She disappeared down the hall to her room, leaving me and my drunk guy to our own devices.

His arms loosened enough that his hands slid down to cup my ass. "You smell amazing. You always smell like summer." He nudged my crop top up to brush a kiss along my stomach. "And you're so soft." He urged me forward until I straddled him on the couch. "Did you make me PB-n-J?"

"I did."

His eyes went soft as he took the plate from me.

I tried to get off him and his other hand landed on my ass again.

"Nope. Stay right there."

"Colder, you're drunk."

"Not that drunk." He took a bite from the sandwich and grinned at me. "I'm always going to want your sweet ass on my lap."

This was a different Colder. He was always playful, but he was sliding into the bro zone. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"What did Cal and you talk about?"

He took a bigger bite. "Can't say," he mumbled around bread and peanut butter.

I dabbed away a little of the raspberry jelly at the corner of his mouth. "How come?"

He swallowed and winked. "Surprise."

"Good surprise?"

"I think so."

"Then I'm glad." I wasn't sure what to do with my hands, so I finally just settled them on the back of the couch behind his head.

"Take this off." He flicked at the hem of my shirt.

"And why would I do that?"

"Lesson time."

"I think my teacher should be out of office tonight."

"Haven't you ever had a drunk make out, Naomi?"

"No. Well, maybe in college, but it didn't work out in my favor."

"Don't worry, I didn't have enough to have whiskey dick." He set the plate down on the end table. "I'd never leave you hanging, anyway." His hands slid up my back, shoving the shirt up on the way.

"Hey." I glanced down the hall.

Then his mouth was on my breast. "Ah, babe. So soft and sweet. I always expect you to taste like raspberries." He drew strongly on my nipple until I dug my nails into the couch.

"Colder, we're in the living room. What kind of lesson is this going to be?"

"Coming without a sound, of course. Can you do that, sweet Naomi?" He cupped my breast and drew on it again until it popped when he let it free. "I love your sounds. They're so sexy, but can you come without making one of those sweet moans?" He twirled that far too talented tongue around the tight tip. "Come without saying my name in that breathy voice I love."

I stilled.

He loved?

Then he dragged his short beard over my sensitive nipple and I had to bite back a groan. His beard always drove me wild. It wasn't overly long—just enough to be soft and a little prickly at the same time.

With his other hand, he gripped my hip and circled me against his stiff cock. "Feel what you do to me? I want you all the time, Naomi. It's actually a little crazy-making."

I opened my mouth to reply, and he shook his head. "Nope. No sounds out of you. Just listen to me. Feel me." He led me into a slow rocking. It wasn't fair since I was wearing thin sleep shorts and he had on jeans.

"This sweet pussy is mine."

I drew in a quick breath.

"I know we've been together for a while now and haven't talked about what we are. Not really. But I'm yours, Naomi. All the way yours."

I licked my lips. I wanted that. I didn't expect that, but I wanted it so badly.

He lifted his other hand to cup the back of my head and dragged me closer to take my mouth. "Don't say anything yet. I just need you to know it. I'm yours and I want you to be mine," he said against my mouth.

Since I couldn't tell him, I had to show him. I looped my arms around him and the kiss spun out. Even inebriated, he knew how to touch me. Even worse, he knew the words to say that destroyed me.

Effortlessly.

He moved his mouth to my neck, dragging his beard along the skin between my shoulder and neck in that way I loved. "Ride me. I want inside you so bad, but right now, just ride me. Get yourself off on me. Quietly."

He gripped my hips with both hands now and his gaze was direct on mine. It was too intense. As usual, the fun always spun into feelings that were too big for me to breathe around. So fast.

We'd only known each other for a few weeks, but I'd never been so connected with anyone. It was as terrifying as it was thrilling.

I closed my eyes for a moment to get my bearings.

"Naomi, eyes on me."

I dragged in a breath, my body reacting helplessly. I was already so attuned to him.

"Eyes on me."

I opened them and he urged me to ride him. My breasts bounced with each undulation of my hips, but he never looked away from my eyes. The blue was so light and as intense as the center of a flame.

The friction of our clothes and the roughness of his zipper under me pushed me closer. I wanted him inside me when I went over, but he wasn't about to wait for that for this lesson.

It was just about connection and quiet. Focusing exclusively on each other.

Quiet wasn't something I knew about—my brain was always going a mile a minute, but in this moment, it was like we were locked in a space out of time. Just him and me, just our bodies working in tandem.

I wanted to throw my head back and cry out, but I stayed there unflinchingly open as I broke and shuddered over him. It was more overwhelming than I was prepared for, and my soundless gasp ended in a sob.

He hauled me up to cover my mouth with his own as I trembled in his arms. The orgasm was soft and vast at the same time. I wrapped my arms around his neck as if he was my lifeline, and shock catapulted me over into another release.

"Lesson's over," he said in my ear. Then he fumbled between us.

I rose on my knees as he dug for a condom out of his wallet. "Hurry."

"Fuck. Fuck, I need inside you so bad. Watching you go over…" He hissed out a breath as he swiped a hand into the leg of my shorts. "Fucking wet. Sopping wet for me. From riding me."

It was because of so much more, but I didn't have words for it just yet.

At least I couldn't say the words out loud.

"You are so goddamn beautiful." He jerked my sleep shorts to the side and then he was there inside of me.

Filling me up.

Where I'd wanted him all damn day. All night.

He was my safe haven.

He gripped my hips. "Mine."

"Yours."

The feral light from that first time together lit his eyes. The one that scared and thrilled me. "Take more." He thrust up harder and deeper until my bones shook from his movements. "Take everything."

I palmed the back of his head, my fingers fisting into his hair, my other hand on his shoulder as I took each punishing stroke. Whatever it was inside of him, it echoed in me. I couldn't get close enough.

A battle to the edge of sanity.

"Tell me you're close," he said against my neck before he bit and explored my neck with his tongue to get to my jaw.

"There." I gasped as he hit just the right angle. "There. More. Please."

He powered into me, and I peaked. The black silence of it took over, and then it was nothing but his silvery blue eyes as I opened mine, and he was there with me. He jerked against me, and we were both blind with it. The release so all encompassing that there was nothing but warmth, bliss, and love.

I couldn't avoid the word any longer.

I loved him.

Irrevocably.