26. Cat

26

CAT

Cleo and I managed to slip in one more practice before the weekend. We were both so distracted trying not to touch each other that we didn't get much work in. By the time I was rolling out of bed on Saturday morning, I still hadn't been able to stop thinking about Cleo.

The house was quiet, everyone trying to sleep in. But I had a game to get to. Cleo managed to get me a spot on their rec league team so I could practice in an actual game instead of a personalized training session.

I slipped on my white softball pants, mid-calf socks, and a shirt as close to Cleo's team jersey in color as possible.

Tucking in the shirt, I checked myself in the mirror as I put a black baseball cap on.

I left the room and grabbed a to-go cup of coffee from the kitchen, lit up by the bright morning light.

"Good luck today." Meredith startled me from the living room, where she watched the quiet street from the bay window.

Gasping, I clutched my chest. "Jesus, you scared me. Thanks." Crossing the house, I looked out of the window with her. "What are you doing ?"

Meredith shrugged. "I just like being awake before everyone else."

"I don't blame you, calm before the storm and all that." With a sigh, I grabbed my equipment bag from the entryway. My metal bat poked out of the top. It was heavy with shoulder tape, two gloves, and my cleats. I was prepared to have the worst game of my life.

As I reached for the doorknob, Meredith waved for me to stop. "Catherine."

"Yes?" I looked at her.

"Be careful."

"I'm going to take it easy, can't risk another injury." I winked.

Shrugging, Meredith looked at me the way only a mother could. "But with your heart too, okay? We want you to be okay beyond all of that."

Something in my chest tightened. But I nodded. "Yes ma'am. I'll see you later."

Pulling open the front door, I made my way to the Mercedes parked at the front of the driveway. She made a good point. The last time Cleo broke my heart, it started a downward spiral I was still recovering from.

I had to tread carefully.

I was one of the first people to arrive at the field for our recreational game. But it gave me time to warm up and lace up my cleats. Once Cleo arrived, they started introducing me to all the other players.

It wasn't long before Bri was rolling up to the dugout. She dapped me up and patted my back. "I haven't seen you in like a decade."

"No kidding." I rubbed the back of my neck, knowing I wouldn't have answers to any of the questions she might lob my way. My life was largely directionless right now and that wasn't super comforting to someone trying to protect their best friend from heartbreak.

"So, Cat…" Bri started.

But she was quickly interrupted by the umpire blowing the whistle for the game to start.

Cleo nodded toward the field. "You're starting in the outfield."

"Works for me." I got my ass moving, trying to avoid an interrogation. Walking out onto the field with a team of women I'd just met was a new feeling. But I introduced myself to as many of them as possible.

By the time I was taking my position in right field, I had met most of the women in my vicinity.

Even from the outfield, I could see Cleo behind home plate in their catcher's outfit. The bulky equipment shouldn't have been sexy, but with Cleo inside, they looked hot.

The first inning moved slowly, the other time still finding their footing at bat.

By the time we switched to batting, our team was feeling good. While we sat in the dugout, Bri leaned over to me. "Cat, when are you heading back to the big leagues?"

"We'll see how this fall goes. I'm hoping to make spring training next season." I nodded, watching Cleo's reaction from my periphery.

Shrugging, Bri laughed. "You've got some work to do if that's your plan."

I tried not to roll my eyes, knowing how important Bri was to Cleo. But she was being a dick. Ultimately, I couldn't blame her. She'd seen us together since high school, she knew every dirty detail of our breakup and probably hoped Cleo wouldn't bother with a loser like me again.

"Collings, on deck." The coach hollered down from the dugout's field entrance.

With a nod, I stood from the bench and leaned over to Bri. "Still further than you went, Shaw."

"Cheap shot." Bri rolled her eyes as she faked a huff.

Grabbing my bat, I headed to the small patch of sand just outside the dugout. The chainlink between the field and the dugout allowed Cleo to keep an eye on my practice form from the bench.

As I took a swing at the air, gentle on my shoulder to prepare it for the intense motion, I tried to breathe.

"Elbow up, it won't hurt you," Cleo called.

"Right." I nodded as the current batter's ball soared through the air.

From the bench, Bri crossed her arms. "Maybe your star player can help us get some more donations."

"Stop." Cleo rolled their eyes and smacked Bri's arm. "We'll be fine without that."

As soon as I took another swing, trying to push the conversation from my mind, I heard the referee call the play. "Out!"

It's time . I sighed as I shook out the stiffness in my shoulders.

"You've got it. Just remember, it's practice." Cleo offered a slight smile, hoping it would calm my nerves.

Licking my lips, I threw on the batting helmet and walked toward the plate. I pulled my batting gloves from my pocket and slipped them on my hands. The velcro band snapped into place as I walked up to the plate.

The umpire had cleaned off home plate before I walked up.

I squared my feet with the white rubber and twisted the bat in my hand before getting into position. Letting out a deep breath, I looked at the pitcher as I lifted the bat to my ear.

All of the noise around me quieted as I lifted my elbow up, leveling it with my shoulder. Cleo was right: it wasn't going to hurt. My brain needed to understand that. Shaking my head, I convinced myself that it was okay.

Eye on the ball. I watched the neon yellow and pink softball in the pitcher's hand.

Winding up, the pitcher stepped forward and launched the ball out of her hand.

As it hurtled toward me, I stepped back from the plate.

"Strike!" The umpire hollered.

From the dugout, my team clapped. Over their hands, Cleo's voice rang out. "That's okay. Now you know what it looks like. Next one's yours."

It was a vote of confidence. And one I kind of believed.

So I shook out my arm, ready for the next ball as I lifted my bat back into position. Trying to stay in the moment, I watched every movement of the pitcher and let myself feel the light fall wind on my neck.

This time, when the ball left her hand, I felt it move in slow motion as I locked in on it.

At just the right moment, I let my arms take over and swung at the neon shape flying toward me. My heel turned as the bat swung across the bat.

A familiar clink told me I'd made contact. Slightly stunned as I watched the ball fly into the outfield, I didn't move.

"Go! Go, Cat!" Cleo yelled from the dugout. They stood up from their seat and wrapped their fingers around the chain link fence as they cheered.

Right .

I took off, letting the sand kick up under my cleats. Pumping my arms, I kept my eye on first base and refused to let myself consider how close the ball was. At full speed, I felt my foot press into the fluffy, white base.

"Safe!" The umpire called as the sound of a glove catching the leather ball resounded across the field.

Pumping my fist, I smiled as I caught my breath.

"Yes!" Cleo cheered from the dugout.

Looking over at them, I shook my head. I'd done it, I'd broken the seal. For the first time in two years, making it back to the pros felt possible. But my heart dropped as I considered what that really meant. What if I have to break Cleo's heart again?