21. Cleo

21

CLEO

"Sorry." I shook my head as I pulled away, my head spinning from the kiss.

I had no idea why I'd done it. Even now, I could feel the pain that Cat had caused deep in my chest. It was the same unrelenting sadness that infected my entire life for years after she left. But here I was, putting my heart on the line again. For what? A hot kiss with my ex?

Cat swallowed and tried to intercept my gaze. "It's okay. I…"

Before I let her finish, I dropped my grip on her arm and turned back toward the market. "I'll see you at practice."

"Cleo, please." Cat called after me.

But I couldn't look back. Instead, I pressed into the crowd. With any luck, I would disappear into the fray and not run into any former in-laws.

Why did I do that? I rolled my eyes at myself, falling for Cat's charm again. I knew what she'd done to me, how she'd hurt me by leaving me in her dust. But I couldn't stop myself from wanting to be close to her.

With my bag of produce in hand, I headed down Main Street toward my building. From across the market, I caught Dan's eye. Waving bye to Cat's brother, I offered a polite smile. Even from this distance, he knew something was off. I was almost certain Cat would get a questionnaire when she got back to the group.

But I broke through the crowd and crossed the wooden barricade back onto the sidewalk.

My heart was still racing when I got to my place, not wanting to open the door. Instead, I pulled out my phone and called Bri. When she picked up, I bit the inside of my cheek. "Can I come over? I need someone to talk to."

She hesitated for a second, checking something. "Uh yeah, do you mind if Sarah is here?"

"Totally fine, as long as she knows how to keep her mouth shut." As the words left my lips, I knew there was no shot. Sarah Greenwood was one of the most involved people in town, she knew everything about everyone. And she wasn't afraid to share if it meant a little matchmaking magic.

Bri chuckled. "I won't promise that."

Rolling my eyes, I walked to the parking lot behind my shop and got in my car. "Be there in ten."

I hung up the phone as I started up the small sedan, unsure what I would even say to my closest friend.

By the time my car was rolling down the rough, gravel driveway of Bri's mountainside property, I still wasn't entirely sure what had come over me at the farmer's market.

With any luck, Bri would help me make sense of it without insisting that I was still in love with my ex. Because I wasn't. I was just confused.

Shaking the thought, I parked my car next to Sarah's massive SUV and walked to the side door. I knocked on the wood, trying not to peek through the glass to see where Bri was inside. After a second, I heard footsteps approaching the door.

"Hey. You okay?" Bri asked as she swung open the kitchen door.

Nodding, I sighed. "In some sense of the word, yes."

We hugged quickly before Bri left me inside and walked me to the living room where a fire raged in the wood stove. A neat stack of ax-chopped wood was piled next to it.

Sitting on the couch, Sarah waved at me. "Hi." She smiled at me gently, trying to be sensitive to whatever might be going on. I could tell that she was clad in one of Bri's many flannels as she snuggled under a fleece blanket.

"Hi, Sarah. I see it's Jason's weekend?" I looked between her and Bri as my friend found her way to the couch, weaseling under the blanket to cuddle up with Sarah.

With a nod, Sarah patted the empty cushion. "Indeed. Tell us everything."

"Gross." I groaned as I tossed myself down on the couch. "I hate talking about my feelings."

Bri laughed as she wrapped an arm around Sarah's shoulders. "Just start at the beginning."

My mouth opened to speak but nothing came out. I wasn't entirely sure I knew where to start. Ten years ago? A week ago? This morning?

Settling on the Farmer's Market, I shrugged. "I went to the market today to get my groceries for the week and stumbled upon, guess who?"

"Cat Collins." Bri and Sarah nodded in unison as they said her name.

"Rude, this is my story." I rolled my eyes.

Raising her hands in surrender, Bri chuckled. "Sorry, what happened?"

I let out a sigh. "She was standing in the center of Main Street like taking it all in and we started chatting. But then her brother and his family appeared and it was so weird and awkward. Lily is so much bigger now but I like… remember her being born. I was there in the hospital with all of them."

Sarah winced. "Yeah, that's… I'm not one to talk honestly."

A laugh filled the room. It wasn't that long ago that Bri had gone to the hospital to see Sarah's sister's newborn. But in all fairness, Zoey and Robin were also Bri's friends so it wasn't all that strange – just a little complicated.

"Yeah but it was so weird. We broke up years ago but it felt like… normal." I confessed, my chest hurting at the thought. It was hard to believe how much of the Collins family lore I'd missed in just five years of being away.

Bri nodded. "Yeah, it's strange. What happened next?"

Biting my lip, I tried to consider how honest I should be. "Cat came up with some weird excuse to pull me to the side and we walked down the alley across from Pete's Pizza."

"An alley?" Sarah scoffed at Cat's boldness.

Using air quotes, I pursed my lips. "To talk about practice."

"What'd she say?" Bri leaned forward, too invested in the drama.

My eyes were caught by the flames licking the glass of the woodstove, instantly sending me back to the warmth of Cat's kiss. "Nothing. She asked if everything in town would ever stop reminding her of me."

Sarah giggled. "That's pretty smooth."

This was the part I really didn't want to confess, what came next. I swallowed hard, trying to avoid telling them. "I told her time helps. And then she started reminiscing about the first time I held her hand at the pizza place."

"Oh, I remember that. All the softball girls were so scandalized. Our star pitcher and catcher having a fling was a huge deal." Bri looked up at the ceiling, the rush of memories coming back to her as we talked.

Sarah eyed me. "And then she kissed you, right?"

Damn, she's good.

"No." I shook my head, looking away from both of them as the illicit confession spilled from my lips. "I kissed her."

Bri gawked at me. "Cleo, what? Why?"

Giving her arm a light smack, Sarah glared at Bri. "Because being in the same room as an ex is very difficult. Especially when it was as complicated as y'alls breakup was."

It was easy to forget that the vast majority of New Winford was well aware of my breakup with the one and only Cat Collins. No one in town could understand why I had ended things with a professional softball star. From the outside, we seemed to be a picture-perfect couple.

But I shrugged. "I don't know why. I mean, she's still gorgeous. And god is she charming…"

"But you know she's just going to break your heart again." Bri shook her head.

Tilting her head, Sarah raised her hands. "We don't know that."

Bri scoffed. "What the playboy is suddenly ready to settle down? All that asshole ever did was string you along. She didn't even have the guts to end it with you. She made you do it because she was too cowardly."

"I don't think that's fair." I swallowed hard.

It was far more complicated than that. I'd gotten my feelings hurt by her success, letting jealousy get the best of me. Not that Cat had been much help in that department and the pictures of her nights out post-game certainly didn't help while I was back in New Winford and struggling to keep the bookstore open.

Lowering her gaze to mine, Bri nodded. "I know. I just don't want to see you get caught up in her storm again. She's selfish and she's only here as a means to an end. Once she's all healed up, she's going to skip out again."

"Yeah." I looked to Sarah who offered an optimistic shrug.

I only had a day before our next practice, having set Mondays as our scheduled day. But I needed to use that day to get my head right. Because right now, I couldn't be trusted in the same room as Cat Collins – not with that charming smile and the good girl act.

I had to be more careful if I had any hope of getting out of this with my heart intact.