14. Chapter 14

The days flew by, and Cain and I kept mixing long hours of work with recreation. We hiked, took the kayaks out onto the lake, fished, skinny dipped, and lounged naked anywhere we could find a comfortable spot to recline. Everything we tried was fun—especially the sexy times—which were frequent. We shared an undeniable chemistry together and the pleasure was boundless.

We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. I'd discovered so many places on Cain's body that he loved to have stroked and kissed. My fingers had become comfortable exploring every inch of him, including fingering his hole. He taught me how to find his prostate and I got him to come without my hand touching his cock. Getting him off had become somewhat of an addiction for me—a challenge to see how many times I could push him over the edge and it was incredible every time. We hadn't gone further than what we'd been doing and I was definitely eager to taste his release on my tongue. I hoped very soon to cross that threshold with him and I was also keenly aware of how much I wanted to feel him inside of me.

Cain reassured me every day that there was no rush for anything to happen in regard to sex and I hoped he was being sincere. I knew when the time was right it would just naturally happen for us but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more with him. Physically, I was ready a week ago when I took him up to Look-out Point but emotionally, I didn't know what was holding me back. Maybe it was because I knew when we crossed that line and Cain fully owned me in every way it was going to alter everything I thought I knew about sex. It would turn my world inside out because this felt like the real deal to me. Being fucked by him, or me taking him, was going to have an emotional toll on me. It would mark my soul as well as my heart. I just knew it. I felt it in my bones. In many ways, Cain felt like the missing piece of myself, the slice that finally clicked into place and made me feel whole. Part of me was terrified about these feelings. The other part couldn't wait to completely lose ourselves in each other.

There were no doubts that our emotional connection was deepening daily. Feelings were involved now, and I knew he felt them, too. I could see it reflected in his eyes every time he held my gaze. The feeling inside my core was like unsung lyrics from a rock ballad where I confessed the longing I felt in my heart and the charged pull to him I constantly felt whenever he was near. Feeling his body heat or even something as subtle as the sound of him humming was enough to soothe and center me. He calmed the restless storm I'd had rattling around in the recesses of my mind for decades and I was quickly falling for him. Maybe I already had. As much as that scared the hell out of me, I was excited to be swept up in this feeling of—love?

Was I falling in love with Cain, or maybe this was a tiny seedling of it blossoming?

I had no fucking clue because I'd never been where I was right then. Not to mention I'd known him for like a hot minute. Was it possible to fall in love that quick? Maybe what I was feeling was purely physical, although I doubted it because we spent a lot of time together when there was no touching or kissing at all. I was acting crazy. I had to be. But the one thing I knew for certain was the feelings I had for Cain were big and overwhelming in a very good way. This was the first time that I welcomed being consumed by emotion and I had no intention of walking away.

Feelings? Seriously?

How in the hell did I land here? I'd never done feelings in my life. I was the one who always left before things got messy and complicated. Out the door and gone before dawn, I always said. So, what was it about Cain that made me want to stick around and allow myself to feel whatever it was I was feeling? Saying this was unexpected was a gross understatement. I never imagined I'd find someone I could see myself being with long-term, but I definitely wanted more time with Cain—maybe even years. We'd slipped into this natural rhythm together that seemed so simple. I wasn't delusional to think it would always be like this. I knew we'd eventually have our disagreements, maybe even occasionally argue, but I wanted to work through it with him and see where it took us.

There was something there, though, hanging between us, that seemed to be growing by the day. Every hook-up I'd had in the past was only about the physical. Cain and I had that, as well. But after our orgasms faded, we'd have these long talks about life and what we hoped to accomplish in our careers. I loved those conversations and I loved those moments almost as much as the epic releases we gave to each other.

But tonight I wanted to do something different with Cain. It was time I took him out and showed him off as mine. Maybe it was my way of having a soft coming-out moment, instead of being shoved out of the closet by photographs from the paparazzi of an intimate moment published in the entertainment rags.

I pulled my phone out of the back pocket of my jeans and typed out a quick message to the guards to put my plan into action.

Me:I'm taking my guest into town for dinner tonight at The Bistro. If you feel the need to shadow, I'll be leaving Alcatraz at six-thirty for a reservation at seven.

Guard Shack:You will be tailed and shadowed inside the restaurant. Be sure to book a separate table nearby for two.

I wanted to tell them to make their own fucking reservation, but I knew they were only trying to keep me safe. Not that I expected anyone to mob me at a small-town eatery in the middle of nowhere, but it was always better to be cautious. The guards I'd had protecting me over the years had always worked by the same code. It was about being proactive and not reactive. I knew what they meant and that they would always put my safety first, so I never argued with them about their protocols. I didn't have to agree with the whys of what they did. I just knew they had my back at all times, which was good enough for me.

I called the restaurant and reserved the two tables as specified for Cain and I to have dinner with our guards sitting nearby—but not too close, and I put the tables under Cain's name. I doubted the restaurant staff at this small establishment would sell my whereabouts to the press but it was a habit I'd gotten used to a long time ago. In a city such as LA, it was suicide for a celebrity to use their real name at restaurants or in hotels. Most of the time when the press did show up where we were it was because the celebrity in question alerted the paparazzi themselves—or their assistants did. I didn't play like that and I certainly wasn't that desperate to be photographed out in public. I loved my privacy too much for that mindless bullshit.

Around five o'clock I came into the basement recording studio and wrapped my arms around Cain. He'd been hard at work in there for the last three hours creating a melody on the keyboard for another page of lyrics he found in my notebook.

"It's time to stop working and play," I said against the warmth of his neck.

"Don't tell me you're horny again," Cain said.

"Actually, I'm hungry for something else—sustenance," I revealed. "I'm taking you into town for dinner tonight because I want people to see us together."

He stared blankly at me and for a moment I began to question if maybe he didn't want anyone to know we were together.

"You might be recognized and subsequently outed if you do that," Cain said with seriousness.

I sucked on the skin behind his ear. "I'm not worried about that," I said. "If it happens, I'm ready for it, and I really don't give a fuck what anyone has to say about it."

His gaze held mine and he finally nodded in agreement. "You still continue to surprise me about how comfortable you are being with me."

"It still surprises me at times, too, but I'm done analyzing something I never had a problem with to begin with," I replied. "This just feels too right and far too comfortable for me question it."

"I love your confidence, Gage, and how at ease you are in your own skin," Cain said.

"Does that mean you'll join me for dinner?" I asked him.

"Absolutely," he answered.

"Just so there's no confusion, this is a date—a real date, and our first, so this is a big deal," I said.

"You don't need to date me so I'll to put out," Cain teased. "It's a given I will, without even leaving this house."

"You're a slut but you're my slut," I joked.

I turned his head toward me and teased his lips with mine then smiled against them. It was unbelievable how happy he made me, every single day. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have Cain show up at this woodland retreat wanting to work for me. Eventually, I'd have to thank Ray for delivering him right to my doorstep but I wasn't ready to admit to Ray he was right about hiring anyone to be my PA.

"I should also tell you that we'll be followed by my guards, Frick and Frack," I disclosed.

"Well, one of them has already seen both of us with our cocks hanging out," Cain said with a chuckle. "Our privacy can't be invaded any more than that."

I laughed with him while he shut off the keyboard and stood, then I slapped his ass. "I'll be whisking you away from this compound promptly at six-thirty, so go powder your nose if you need to," I said. "I'm going to take a quick shower myself."

An hour later we were both dressed and ready to go which gave us time to enjoy a cocktail before we had to start the drive into town. I made martinis for us and we sat in the family room sipping them. He was seated beside me on the couch and I set my hand on his thigh. I couldn't wipe the ridiculous smile off of my face. The quick thump of my heart told me this was not a casual thing for me and hopefully after tonight he'd realize that, too.

Cain wore a nice pair of navy dress pants with a periwinkle polo shirt. I didn't have fancy pants with me but I did have a reasonably new pair of black jeans which I paired with a deep purple button-down shirt. It's about as dressy as I ever got, unless it was a formal event that I was obligated to show my face at.

"You look sexy as fuck," I said to Cain.

"You clean up quite nice yourself, Mr. Tennison."

"With the dirty things I'm thinking about doing to you after dinner, I don't think we need to be so formal," I said and winked at him.

We finished our drinks and walked out to the Land Rover parked in the driveway. The guards were already sitting in their vehicle which was aimed at the street and ready to leave. As promised, they followed us into town and once we arrived at the restaurant, one of them walked in first with the second guard tailing behind us. I gave the hostess Cain's name and we were quickly escorted to our tables. The Bistro was packed with people but not one of them gave us so much as a side glance, and to my surprise, we were able to enjoy our meals in peace.

At one point, I reached across our tiny table for two and covered Cain's hand with mine. I loved the way the candlelight lit his face and cast such sensual shadows over his features. I wanted to kiss the hell out of him in the worst way, but I knew that was just asking for trouble.

"I think in another couple of weeks we'll have pretty much the whole album written," I commented.

"What happens after that?" Cain asked as he sipped a glass of white wine.

"We go back to LA and bring this new material to the band," I answered. "The songs we agree are album worthy will then be recorded and produced."

Cain nodded with understanding, but I could tell he had something on his mind that he wasn't saying. I didn't want the kind of relationship where we kept things to ourselves. I wanted to be as open as possible right from the start.

"What's on your mind, Cain?" I prodded and he blinked at me as if he didn't think I could see right through him and know something was going on. "Talk to me."

"Thank you for bringing me here," Cain said. "It's nice to get out of the house and see people."

"Baby, be honest with me," I whispered. Cain's eyes opened wide like he was shocked. Maybe it was because I'd used the term of endearment or perhaps he was unsettled because he wasn't feeling it like I was. I doubted that was the case but I'd feel a helluva lot better if he'd open up to me. I watched him fidget in his seat and gripped his hand tighter to pull his attention back to the topic of conversation.

"Okay, I'll be honest," he said.

"That's all I want," I replied.

"Where do you see us once we're back in Los Angeles?" he questioned. "Will we be together like we are now or would we be two people who work together on music?"

"Cain, I want all of you," I answered. "This isn't a fling for me. I want this to continue as it is in this moment for as long as you want me." I visibly saw him deflate in relief. "Were you really worried I'd want to end this once we got home?"

Cain shrugged. "I wasn't sure," he said. "I mean, you've implied things would stay the same but I wasn't sure how serious you were."

"This is real for me," I admitted. "I can't exactly say what it is I'm feeling yet but I know this is big and I don't want it to end. Are you feeling something different?"

"I'm already in deep with you," Cain said and made a scoffing sound. "I don't know how I fell so fast, except to say you're kind of irresistible. I hate you for that."

My smile was uncomfortably large but I didn't care. "Feeling is mutual," I said. "Did I freak you out when I called you baby?"

"I loved it," he replied. "Hearing you say it made me hard."

"Then I'll have to say it all the time," I said.

I squeezed his hand again, just as our waiter arrived at our table to leave a basket of warm bread and olive oil with seasonings for dipping. I could have pulled my hand away from Cain's, but I didn't want to. Instead, I held on to him tighter and smiled up at our server before he scurried off again. I had zero fucks to give if he ran back into the kitchen and told everyone working that he'd seen me holding a man's hand.

As the French say, c'est la vie.

I was on a date with a gorgeous man that I was fucking crazy about, and in this moment I didn't care if the whole world knew about it.