5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Nate

Don't go too fast.

Don't go too slow.

Don't overwhelm him.

Don't forget his needs.

AAAHHH!!!

Where did this nagging voice come from?

Your heart. You know, that organ you locked away for far too long?

It was hard to hold back when your life was half over, or so it seemed. I went from zero, being comfortable with my life with just me and Belle, to one hundred adding Kit to it now.

"How do I look?" I gazed down at Belle as I straightened my shirt collar. I'd put on a new pair of jeans I'd had tucked away for a special occasion, and a button-up shirt. She groaned and rolled over. "Lot of help you are."

Cologne. Did I need it? Better question was did I have any? None in the medicine cabinet so that was a big fat no, and I wasn't about to use the bathroom air freshener, so this was as good as it was gonna get.

"Here goes nothing. Wish me luck, Belle." Another groan, she was done for the night and ready to sleep.

Thirty-five and going on my first date. No wonder I'd never analyzed my existence before, it was lame as fuck.

Kit was still in the shower as I passed the hall bathroom. I took the extra time to gather my nerves. Monumental. Special. This first of what I hoped would be many dates with Kit held the weight of our little world in it. Like my life depended on it going right. How stupid was that? But when Kit walked out and smiled, the fear faded and everything about this felt right.

"Daddy," he teased with a wink. "You look so handsome."

"As do you, sweet boy." How easily that fell from my lips. Scary? No, actually, not at all. "Shall we go? It's a forty-five-minute drive and I designate you the DJ." He cocked his head. "Meaning you pick the music or no music for the drive."

"No radio, no favorites. I've heard songs I've liked, though I couldn't tell you who sang them. How about we use the time to talk, get to know one another without customers interrupting?"

"Wise and welcome suggestion, dear boy. Let's roll."

Kit's eyes widened as he took in the scenery as we headed out of town, in a direction it seemed he hadn't been yet. I pointed out things here and there, more than familiar with every inch of this drive. As we reached town his head darted all around, checking everything out.

"This town is bigger than I thought it would be."

"That's why all the main hubs are here. Schools, libraries, chain stores, airport. They even have a mall which is where we're headed." If all Kit came to town with was a backpack, he'd need more clothes. Especially if he was here this winter. We'd been known to get a light dusting of snow on occasion.

Thinking too far ahead?

Maybe. But all I had was hope.

"You need anything else while we're here? Socks? Shoes?" Way to dance around it. Just be that Daddy you keep barking about. "We've got time, let's shop. "

Let's shop? Have you ever said those words in your life?

No. I hate shopping.

Exactly.

"I'm good."

"Don't make me use my freshly laminated Daddy card." That got Kit to smile. "Come on, that backpack couldn't have held much."

He shrugged as he glanced off. "Only if you let me pay you back."

"Now that will get my Daddy card revoked. Do you really want to do that to me?" I clenched my chest in a dramatic fashion. "The pain. The pain."

"All right, drama queen. Or is it drama Daddy now?" I grinned, having won this round. "Fine, let's shop."

"Phone first, then clothes."

"Yes, Daddy."

Such a smart ass and I freaking loved it.

We picked up the phone first, I'd called ahead to have it added to my account. Having Kit see the cost associated with doing this may've resulted in our first fight which I refused to have happen. Every time Kit tried something on then looked at the price he'd set it down, so I picked it back up. Back and forth we went and rarely did I concede. By the time we left the mall, our arms were laden with bags and Kit had more than enough clothes for the summer and fall.

Now, if he was still here at Halloween, we'd be off for another shopping trip.

Daddy—one.

My boy—zero.

"Let's drop everything at the house before we head to dinner. Then I can feed Belle, too. We can sort through the bags later."

"Should I change into something nicer for the restaurant?" Kit glanced down at his khaki shorts and sneakers. My intention wasn't to make him feel less by spoiling him and I hoped that wasn't the cause for his unease.

"You look great, no need to change." When he blushed, I knew I'd answered correctly.

Daddy—two.

Am I supposed to keep track? Competitive Daddy was probably not a good thing.

The air was thick between us as we walked down Main Street, our destination, Midnight Pleasure restaurant. I'd called ahead and made a reservation just in case, though it usually wasn't warranted. But when we walked up to the front of the building and every visible seat was filled, I was glad I had .

"Evening, Nate, Kit," the host and owner, Ares, greeted us. "Got your table ready and as far away from prying eyes as I could get it."

Great, that explained the sold out crowd. "Thanks, Ares." Kit side-eyed me, and I whispered, "I'll explain in a sec."

Ares tucked us away in a bit of an unusual spot where none of his tables usually sat. We were mostly hidden by a pillar, wedged between it and the wait staff station. "You should have some privacy here. Never saw so many nosey people in one space," Ares shook his head. "Jimmy will be right out with your water. Enjoy."

"Thanks, Ares." As soon as he was out of earshot, I beat Kit to the question I knew he had. "It's never this packed unless it's Valentine's Day or Ares is running a special."

"No?"

"No."

"Pets on parade again?"

"Yup."

"Jesus."

I hoped this wouldn't be a negative when Kit inevitably weighed the pros and cons of staying in Foggy. Never had I wanted to win a non-competition-competition more in my life. It was like high school all over again, only this time it had the potential to be my forever .

"Evening, Nate, Kit," Jimmy greeted us. He'd not met Kit before but given the rumor mill everyone knew his name by now and likely his shoe size, too.

"Evening, Jimmy."

"I'll be your server this evening, can I start you off with something from the bar?"

"God, yes," I groaned. The silence in the room as I spoke was unnerving and I nearly lost it and shouted we're not a fucking science experiment! "House whisky, double, please."

"For you, Kit?"

"I'll just have an iced tea, thanks."

After Jimmy walked away, I dared a glance through the room and glared at every set of eyes mine met then turned my attention back on my handsome date, ready to move on. "Not much of a drinker?"

"Honestly, I've never tried anything more than beer and blech," Kit's face scrunched up. "Not a fan."

"Beer is an acquired taste for sure." Jimmy brought our drinks and took our orders. As soon as he was gone, I held my glass up. "To," I paused. To what exactly? What could I say that couldn't be misconstrued? "To hope." Afterall, that's what Kit had brought to me.

Kit tapped his glass to mine. "To hope. "

"I feel like we've gotten to know each other well during the short time you've been here, though we've never really talked likes and dislikes. Pet peeves?" Might be rambling but time spent away from work was meant to be focused on us.

"More than anything, lying. To me there's no reason for it. You did it, admit it, fix it if you can and move on. Trust is everything in life and if someone has broken that there's no going back." Kit's intense gaze met mine. This boy was wise beyond his years.

"I couldn't agree more. Growing up in a small town, your word is everything. And if you fail, it spreads faster than fire." Kit grinned, I'm sure thinking the same thing I was—how fast the news of us got around town. "Can't begin to tell you how many people I've watched screw that up when honesty should come naturally."

"In essence, we've grown up in similar atmospheres, only yours was small town life. If we did anything wrong, the entire commune knew. I had my older brothers and sisters to keep me out of trouble, not that I'd have been in any." Kit smiled, recalling those times. "Maybe someday…"

"Maybe someday?"

"Maybe someday you'll meet them."

Dare I hope I wasn't a body to pass the time with while he was here, and he intended to stay and make a go of it? For real?

We sat and talked and dinner went well. Time had flown by and by the time we left the restaurant it was empty.

"Guess we didn't give them enough of a show," Kit teased as we stepped outside.

"Oh yeah?" I spun around, pinned him against the window and kissed him long and hard. "Think that worked?" Breathless, my words didn't sound like my own and Kit was in the same predicament, nodding in lieu of words. "Come on," I took his hand. "Let's go home."

Holding hands and walking along the street with another man. On a date. What an intoxicating feeling. Those who were out and about didn't bat an eye at our open PDA and you couldn't slap the ridiculous grin from my face, proud of myself for pulling off that kiss and rendering Kit speechless. I'd say for a first date I scored at least a seven, maybe eight out of ten. Not too bad for winging it.

The night air was the perfect mix, not too hot nor cold. Foggy hadn't quite warmed up in the evenings yet, though the heat lurked just around the corner. Most of the shops were closed as we passed them by, peering into the windows. How many times had I done this and yet never saw the town as I did now? To me it was home and normal, yet tonight I saw it in a different light, almost as if with a new set of eyes. Quite possibly seeing it as Kit was now.

"Care to take a turn through the park?" I asked Kit, not ready for our evening out to end. It was nice to be away from the hustle and bustle of the busy bar world.

"I'd love to. I'd only passed it by on my way through town when I was searching for a job. I popped into most of these shops and though none of them were hiring, I do have to say they were some of the nicest declines I'd ever received."

His comment had me grinning, proud of this town that was full of kind souls. "It's rare you come across anyone rude here. They may be all up in everybody's business," Kit laughed again. "But the people here, for the most part, do care and will have your back."

"I honestly believe that."

We crossed the street and headed toward the park, wandering along the dimly lit paths guided by nothing more than the moonlight. Spring had been fruitful, the flowers and trees in full bloom. Obviously in the daylight they'd be much more visible than they are now, but their vibrant scents filled the night air. Far too soon, we reemerged at the street that intersected with the bar and followed it back toward home .

"Feel like watching a movie? I have no clue what is on and it's been forever since I've sat and watched anything, so why don't you pick? I'm pretty much game for anything." The desperation to spend more time with Kit had me grasping for a lifeline. Even if Kit and I didn't do anything more than sit and talk, I'd be thrilled. Being in his presence was calming and had become my new happy place. An unfamiliar one, but wildly welcome.

"I'm gonna change out of these jeans if that's okay?" I asked first, wanting to avoid another uncomfortable situation or lead him to believe I hinted at anything sexual. While that would be nice, we weren't there yet, and I didn't want to move too fast. I wanted the flow to be natural and fall into place as it was meant to.

"I think I'll do the same. Meet you back out here in five?" He got halfway down the hall and turned, "Hey, do you have any popcorn?"

"It's microwave if that's cool? Some nights I come home, have a bowl of popcorn and a beer and call it a night."

"Sounds perfect to me. I'll meet you on the couch in five."

What a bright ray of sunshine Kit's presence had been in my otherwise dim existence. So set in my ways, I was. All that monotony cast aside unbeknownst to me. When was the last time OCD led me? I'd been busy showing Kit how I did things and yet hadn't noticed if he had done them the same way. Trust, faith in his abilities and that he'd do his best no matter what had kept it in check. Thus far I hadn't had to micromanage him. Long gone were the tedious mental checklists I'd taxed myself with. This was nothing short of amazing and a nice change from my far too controlled norm.

I changed into a t-shirt and a pair of lounge pants instead of just hanging out in my boxers and grabbed a couple pillows off my bed. Miss Belle and I… Wait, where was she? I checked around for the old girl and wondered if she got out. Just as I prepared to open the front door and go flying outside in search of her, she came down the hallway with Kit. She'd made herself right at home with him and claimed him as her new human.

"Oh, I see how I rank, Jelly Belly. You got a bright new, shiny toy in the house, and you're all about chasing it around, huh?"

Kit scratched between her ears. "She'll always love Daddy the most, you know that. Belle and I have managed to bond. She's such a sweet girl, how could you not fall in love with her?"

Boy, if those words didn't just open a new piece of my heart. Little by little, this sweet boy chipped away at that locked organ. I better watch it, I didn't want to fall too hard or too fast.

Or did I?

I had a feeling I was already traveling down it's too late road.

Kit and I settled in on the couch. He flipped through the apps and landed on, of all things, one of my all-time favorites—the original Star Wars . "You are a man after my heart." Shit, had I said that out loud?

"I hadn't realized it was that easy. I'll have to keep that in mind," Kit teased as he curled up beside me on the couch and hit play. I envisioned us doing this until we were old and gray.

Good Lord, I was a goner. There was no way I wasn't falling in love with him. I just hoped when the time came to declare it that he felt the same way.

Near the end of the movie, we were both yawning. I was thankful we had jobs that didn't require us to get up at the butt crack of dawn. I stood to stretch. Kit popped up, gave me a hug and a kiss, and went straight to his room. I shook my head at his silliness, tossed the popcorn bag and put the cans in the recycle bin, then took myself to bed. I could still taste him and feel his lips pressed to mine. This boy called to me, heart, mind, body, and soul .

It took a while to fall asleep as I lay there, my thoughts consumed with Kit. How could I make his life easier? What kind of things would he like to see and do? Places he'd like to visit. Did he like the furniture that I had? Would he want to pick out something new? What did he think of the bar? How could I make it more exciting? All these thoughts ran wild in my head. Since when did I care what anyone thought?

Then my brain landed on the one major issue I'd forgotten to tackle—figuring out how to get his birth certificate. So much hinged on that one document. How would they give a license to a person with no last name? Would he consider taking mine?

Talk about moving too fast.

Holy crap.

Might as well marry the boy, you know, just so he could have a last name.

Yeah, that's the only reason…

Fuck. Me.

Did the word marriage literally just enter my brain?

How fast was too fast? Was there some sort of manual that I missed out on? Most times such as this, I really missed Granddad. His unwavering patience as he answered my endless stream of questions. My father was a patient man, too, but it was Granddad I went to first. It was the way I was. I wondered if these were the kinds of things I should go to Mom with now. I mean, when I realized I was gay, she was the first person I told. She just shrugged it off and said, okay, Nate, did you do your homework?

Maybe I'd give her a call in the morning and make a note to call Joseph Gilderoy, the town lawyer. I set an alarm in my phone to remind me to do both before I rolled over and finally went to sleep.