Chapter 9

Zeke

I wantedto stay lost in the delusion of Rainey being my wife. I mean, she was, but in my head, sitting there chatting like long-lost friends, my brain started to latch on to the fantasy that my future had panned out the way I'd always wanted it to. Me and Rainey. Together.

But eventually, reality butted its way into my brain and I had to face facts. Nothing about this marriage was real. Not in any way that actually mattered. Rainey's fingers twisted in her lap as she contemplated my question.

"I'm not sure," she said quietly. Her voice lacked the usual bubble of excitement. I wasn't sure I ever heard her talk without some sort of passionate emotion behind her voice when we were teens.

I frowned, wanting to slap myself on the forehead for thinking Rainey would be exactly the same as when we were kids. Of course things had changed. I'd certainly changed, right? I didn't examine that question too deeply, afraid I'd find the same quiet kid with a soft spot for one particular girl. Rainey swiped at her forehead and I instantly stood. It was insanely hot in the summer here in Blueball. Especially in sweatpants.

"How about we head inside and give you time to unpack and relax? Been a crazy day."

Rainey gave me a soft smile and stood, heading inside with her empty plate and mine. Daisy dragged herself from the shady patch at the back of the porch and stretched, following us inside with a grateful head butt to the back of my hand. Rainey put the dishes in the sink and then spun around there in the kitchen, the two of us looking at each other awkwardly.

"I've got a, uh, project, out back." I pointed aimlessly somewhere toward the back of my property. "How about I get to that while giving you time to rest?"

The relief on Rainey's face made me feel both miserable and good. Good that I'd saved her from the awkwardness that suddenly fell between us all alone in my house, and miserable that time away from me made her relieved. That's how things had always been between us. I bent over backwards for her and she went along her merry way, never knowing that I loved her more than life itself.

"Okay, sounds good. I'll probably unpack and then catch a quick nap. I didn't sleep well. Nerves and all that." She made a noise like she was trying to laugh but it fell flat. Then she spun on her bare foot and practically ran out of the room.

I squeezed my eyes shut and wondered what the hell I'd gotten myself into. For now though, Rainey was happy, in my house, and not married to the douchebag. That would have to be good enough for me.

Summer had no mercy and I was drenched in sweat when I noticed the sun was dipping in the sky. I'd spent several hours clearing a space out back for a future pergola, a project I hadn't had any intention of getting to this year. I lifted the bottom of my T-shirt and wiped my face. My hands ached and my muscles were fatigued. Maybe I'd be able to find sleep tonight after all. I looked up at the sky and said a quick thanks to wherever my father was, something I found myself doing often. He'd taught me how to use my body to burn off negative emotions, a skill that had come in handy yet again. Dropping my tools in the shed I kept along the fence line of my property, I came in through the back of the house and stepped out of my dirt-covered boots.

The house lay silent, not even the claw scratches of Daisy running to greet me. I used the kitchen sink to wash my hands and arms before venturing to my bedroom. The door was ajar, so I nudged it open. Rainey yelped at the squeak of the door and twirled around in head-to-toe flannel. The material had ice cream cones of various colors all over it.

"You do know it's summer, right?" I drawled, using humor to try to cover the insane desire that swept through me from seeing her in innocent pajamas. The things were practically birth control with how hideous and juvenile they were.

Daisy's tail thumped from over in her doggy bed. I gave her a look that told her I wasn't happy with how quickly she'd ditched me for Rainey's side. She let out a whine and got up, coming over to sit on my feet.

Rainey shrugged, her cheeks pink with either embarrassment or heat exhaustion. "Yeah, but it's all I brought with me. Denver is definitely cooler than Blueball."

I crossed my arms over my chest. Something wasn't adding up. "You brought flannel pajamas for your honeymoon?"

Rainey's gaze dropped from mine. "Hey, I made soup. You didn't have much in the fridge, so I made what I could for dinner. Hope you don't mind. I put your bowl in the microwave. I wasn't sure when you were coming back."

"Answer the question, Rain."

Her head snapped up and her eyes went wide. "You know, you didn't use to use that tone of voice with me."

I huffed. Thank God something about me had changed over the years.

Rainey sat on the edge of the bed. The same side I slept on, but I didn't make mention of that.

"Danny and I weren't like that."

I narrowed my eyes, something in my chest lighting up like someone had struck a match. "Explain."

Rainey threw her hands out, clearly exasperated. "We never slept together! We were friends. Kind of. I mean, we were engaged, but it was mostly just for my inheritance. At least on my end."

Daisy pushed her weight against me and I almost fell over. After taking a step back and righting myself, I stared at Rainey like she'd grown an extra head. "Didn't you live together?"

"Yeah," she said quietly, still not looking at me. "For two years."

I couldn't help the laugh that filled the silence between us. The twin spots of color in her cheeks deepened. "I knew he was a douchebag, but that's next level."

Rainey pulled her legs up under her, looking small and defeated. "I started to wonder if something was wrong with me."

The laughter faded in an instant. I was also across the room and standing in front of her before I registered that I'd moved. "There's not one thing wrong with you, Rain. That guy was a?—"

"Douchebag. Yeah, so you've said."

I cupped my hand under her chin and pulled her head up until she looked me in the eyes. "There's not a single thing wrong with you, Rainey. You two just weren't right for each other, that's all."

She lifted an eyebrow. "So you're telling me that you'd live with a woman for two years, share her bed, and even if you weren't right for each other, you still wouldn't sleep with her?"

"I'd never invite a woman to live with me if we weren't right for each other."

The understanding that she was now living with me, however temporary, hit her after a few seconds. She swallowed hard, and I let go of her face to step back.

"I've had a few girlfriends over the years, but nothing serious. I can tell you from a guy's perspective, the problem was him, not you."

Rainey scooted back on the bed and leaned against the headboard. "No serious girlfriends? Come on, Zeke. You were lusted after by pretty much every girl in high school."

I squatted down to ruffle Daisy's fur, wishing I'd never seen Rainey in my bed. I'd never get the image out of my brain. "No, I wasn't."

Rainey sat forward, energy crackling from her once again. "Yes, you were! I know of, like, twenty girls who liked you at one time or another!"

I waved that ridiculous idea away and asked what I wanted to know. "How about you, wife. Any serious boyfriends I need to know about?"

Rainey stilled instantly, sitting back down, face wiped of all emotion. "Nope. Nothing serious."

There was more to the story, that much was obvious, but Rainey didn't look like she was ready for story time. Suspecting something happened to make her choose a nonthreatening guy like Danny made every protective instinct I possessed take up arms. Instead of trying to drag the story out of her and therefore becoming yet another man she couldn't trust, I stood and walked to the doorway. "I'm going to heat up the soup and then take a shower."

"Okay." Rainey picked up a book from the bedside table that hadn't been there before. She opened it and began to read, ignoring me entirely. I walked out, wondering when Rainey had picked up reading. In high school, I thought she might have been allergic to the ink with the way she avoided them at all costs.

Rainey was still reading when I hit the bathroom to shower. When I came out again in a pair of shorts and not much else, the light was off. She had rolled to her side, barely hanging on to the edge of the mattress while she slept. Or pretended to sleep. I wasn't quite sure. It was for the best anyway. It would be easier for me to sleep if I knew she wasn't also lying there in the dark, aware of my presence and too afraid to say anything. Rainey had never been skittish before, a change that made my hands clench into fists. Someone had hurt her. Maybe even more than her father.

Before this marriage fizzled, I was going to find out who it was and hunt them down. She may not be mine in the way I wanted, but she was still my wife.

I lay there for hours, just listening to her breathe and watching her sleep. Almost couldn't believe she was right there next to me. My arms ached to hold her, but I couldn't reach for her. I wouldn't. Not when this marriage was a sham. It would already hurt bad enough when she left. Adding in the comfort of her touch would certainly kill me.

Sunrise came and somehow I'd found sleep in the early hours of the morning. I stiffened, seeing an empty spot where Rainey had been sleeping. My heart thundered, my brain instantly going to the only scenario in life that scared me: Rainey had left me already.

Then her bubbly laughter filtered into the bedroom and my lungs whooshed out a breath of relief. Not gone. I heard my mother's voice and I squeezed my eyes shut with a groan. Not gone. Just in the kitchen talking to my mother.

Fuck.

Fuckin' small towns and their gossip. I should have expected this, but as per usual, Rainey had struck me dumb with her presence. Mom should have been my first call after we left the courthouse. She was pretty reasonable in general, but she was going to be pissed that I'd gone off and gotten married without her there. After Dad died, she'd told me more than once that I was all she had left. And now I'd gone off and gotten married and hadn't fuckin' told her.

I rolled out of bed, ready to face the firing squad and my dog that had already gone rogue and chosen to stay at Rainey's side. The scene in the kitchen hit me full force. The two women who mattered most in my world had mugs of steaming coffee in their hands, smiling at each other as they chatted across the small island, Rainey standing and my mother sitting on one of the two barstools. Daisy lay in another of her doggie beds in the kitchen, a bone held between her front paws while she gnawed on it. Rainey saw me first, her gaze dropping down my bare torso before snapping back to my face with guilt shining in her big blue eyes. Mom swiveled and held out her arm.

"You're lucky I talked to Rainey first. Otherwise I'd be slapping you instead of hugging you." I gave her a hug, watching Rainey over Mom's head.

"Wouldn't be the first woman to slap me. And I would have deserved it too."

Rainey winced and then took a sip of coffee. "I found some eggs. How about I make us some breakfast?"

"You don't need to do that," I muttered, letting go of Mom.

Rainey smiled, but it looked forced. "No, no. You two chat and I'll make some omelettes."

I could feel Mom watching us, her eager eyes darting between us like we were still kids and she was waiting for us to open our Christmas presents. Honestly, I hadn't seen her this happy in longer than I cared to admit. Guilt for lying to her mixed with relief that shadows didn't hover beneath her eyes this morning. I stepped around her and pulled Rainey into a hug. I felt her sharp inhale. Leaning down by her ear, I whispered to her, trying to make it look like I was simply kissing her neck.

"Play along."

Her arms came around me, her fingernails dragging along the bare skin of my back and making my eyes roll back in my head. I used another second to get my shit together before I let her go. Getting an erection in front of my mother and my fake wife wasn't on my list of things to do today.

"I'm just so happy the rumors were true for once!" Mom had her hands clasped below her chin, smiling at us like we'd made all her dreams come true.

"You're not even mad we got married at the courthouse?" I leaned on the counter, arms braced on the cool granite.

Mom smacked my arm, but it was playful. "Oh, I'm mad about that, but I'm more happy to see you two finally together again. I couldn't ask for a better daughter-in-law."

The pan slipped out of Rainey's hands and hit the stovetop with a clatter. She offered a quick apology before ducking behind the refrigerator door to grab the eggs. I looked back at Mom, wishing for her sake too that all of this was real. Her eyes went glassy and I knew that look. She was about thirty seconds away from hugging me to her chest and sobbing. She'd done a lot of crying since Dad died, and I couldn't bear to see her crying over me.

"I'm so proud of you, son," she whispered, clearly trying to keep her shit together and failing.

The guilt hit harder then. I realized I was going to break her heart too when Rainey and I eventually split up, a consequence I hadn't thought through in my panic to make Rainey mine.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, to make this better, but I heard the front door bang open and then voices speaking over each other. Someone—or multiple someones—had entered my house uninvited. I pushed off the counter, ready for trouble. Rainey gasped behind me and dropped an egg on the floor, making a mess. I snapped my fingers at Daisy, who'd jumped up to lick up the mess, and she sat back down on her doggie bed with a whine.

"Would you look at that? Pigs have flown and Rainey's back in Blueball!" Gertie announced, sliding into the kitchen with Milly Booth at her side. The two old ladies smirked, acting like they owned the place. And perhaps they did, because before long there were five of us having breakfast in my house.

"I'm going to go get a shirt," I managed to say.

Milly waggled her thick eyebrows behind her glasses. "Don't bother on my account, young man."

Rainey giggled hysterically and suddenly I felt naked. This morning was not going the way I had planned.

Not at all.