Chapter 29

Zeke

I'm a fuckin'idiot.

That was the only thing going through my head after seeing Rainey. My hand was somehow on the handle of my truck, my feet taking me there without my brain engaging. I hadn't picked up breakfast like I'd planned when I drove into town before work. I slid inside the truck and slumped against the seat, stunned that Rainey was still here. I'd wholeheartedly believed she'd left again.

She had a fuckin' job.

"What the hell is going on?" I muttered to myself. It took me several minutes to understand that a job meant she was truly staying. At least longer than a few days or weeks. When did she get a job? And why was she staying in Blueball? What else had I missed?

Inspiration struck and I cranked over the engine and threw the truck into reverse. The tires left a strip of rubber on Main Street as I headed to Skinner House, disregarding all the speed limits and shocked looks from people I'd known my entire life. Gertie would know. Gertie would tell me all the details I'd missed in my self-imposed isolation in the woods on the work project that was so far ahead I could take a whole week off and still finish in time and under budget.

The truck bounced over the drainage lip in the street as I turned into the driveway of Vander's place. Brain still spinning, I felt like I'd entered an alternate universe the second I saw Rainey standing on the sidewalk. I parked just outside the stone steps to his front door, then hit the steering wheel when I thought about the guys visiting me every night this week. Had they known Rainey was still here? If those fuckers had known but didn't say anything, I was going to have words with them. Who was I kidding? It wouldn't be words, it would be fuckin' fists.

The door flew open and Marlo stood there, a slim column of black in slacks and a blouse that came up to her neck. Even the mug she held to her face before she took a sip couldn't hide the smirk. I bounded out of the truck and up the stairs, towering over her with a glare.

"You knew." It wasn't a question.

Marlo lowered the black mug that said Good Mourning and had the audacity to smile. "Of course I knew. Now get your stupid ass in here."

I growled, but Vander showed up, pulling Marlo behind him. "Hey, settle down, big guy. Gertie's waiting for you in the front parlor. Be nice or I'll have to kick your mopey ass out of here."

I may have been angry and confused, but I'd never hurt a woman or an old person. Maybe I needed to get better control of my face. I tried, but found I couldn't. I was too anxious to know what was happening. How was Rainey still here, and what did that mean for us?

Gertie jumped to her feet when I walked into the parlor. She wasn't smiling or smirking or telling me to get lost. Instead, she just gave me a hug, smelling of joint cream and cotton candy.

"I hear you saw Rainey," she said simply, gesturing to the couch. We both sat and she patted my knee while she perched on the edge of the cushion. "You look surprised."

I gaped. "Well, yes. I assumed she left when she cleared out her things."

Gertie's eyes turned hard. "And why would she have cleared out her things, Zeke?"

Unease creeped into my empty stomach and made me nauseous with the confession that I was sure Gertie already knew about. She just wanted to hear it from me. "I served her divorce papers." Gertie pressed her lips together and I rushed on. "You know how she likes to move around, Gertie. We never intended to stay married. I just gave her what she wanted."

"Why?"

I threw my hands in the air. I'd been asking myself that same question every single day without her. And it always came down to this. "I love her too much to make her unhappy. If she wants to leave, I have to let her go. You said so yourself."

Gertie removed her hand from my knee and sat back on the couch. "That was twelve years ago. Rainey was barely an adult, as were you. Don't you think you've both learned a thing or two since then?"

I was already nodding. "Yes, exactly. I've learned that I can't live with someone who doesn't want me wholeheartedly. I won't settle for less, even for Rainey."

Instead of being angry, Gertie clapped her hands together and grinned. "Excellent. Sadly, your timing was all off. Rainey got that job at Crazy Beans the morning before you gave her the divorce papers."

My view of Gertie narrowed to that of a pinhead. Buzzing rushed into my ear canal and I felt like I was going to pass out. "Shit."

Gertie's laugh was the exact opposite of the crushing guilt that pinned me to the couch. "I'd say so! Rainey talked to me beforehand and told me she had no intention of leaving. She wanted to build a life here. With you. And the start of that was learning to stand on her own two feet, which is why she got the job. And then you shoved divorce papers in her face and broke her heart. That's it in a nutshell."

I flopped back against the couch. "Fuck." My hands were shaking as I lifted them to pull at my hair. I pushed her away, just like her father had done. I promised myself that I'd be her safe space, the one person she could trust, and look what I'd done. "What am I going to do?"

Gertie offered me a plate of pastries from the table. "You go home, think about what you want, and then come up with a plan to win her back. It won't be hard. That girl's in love with you."

I took a croissant and stared at Gertie, hoping she was right. "Even after…?"

She smiled. "Get to know the adult version of Rainey and you'll see she's not fickle. Took her some time to find herself, but she's nothing if not determined."

I jumped up, dropping the croissant back on the plate. "I gotta go find her."

Gertie also stood up, wrapping her bony fingers around my wrist. "Not so fast, buckaroo. You can't go crashing through well-thought-out plans."

Literally nothing about today made sense. "What are you talking about?" That was the problem. I didn't have a plan.

Gertie just smiled like she was about to whoop my ass and I didn't even see the blow coming. "Let the free bird come back to the nest."

I lifted my head to call for Vander. Gertie was either already nipping off the flask she and Milly shared between them when they thought no one was looking or she was having another stroke. Either way, I needed reinforcements. But it wasn't Vander who showed up in the parlor, it was Gannon.

He strode into the parlor with his hat backwards and a Blueballer baseball tee stretched across his chest. He flashed a smile. "Dude. You're late to practice."

I wrenched my wrist from Gertie's grasp and ran it over my face. Was I hallucinating? Dreaming? Stepping into dementia already in my thirties? What the hell was happening today?

"What practice?" I rasped.

Gannon clapped me on the shoulder. Hard. "We have the softball game tonight against Hell. We need our star pitcher. I know you were all moony over Rainey and you took a few games off, but we need you, man. Get your shit together and let's go practice so we can kick their asses."

"Ohh, the Hellman brothers will be there tonight?" Gertie squealed like a teen girl.

Gannon grimaced. "All five of them. Which is why we need you, Zeke. Come on."

All thoughts of winning Rainey back today were scattered to the wind. I'd have to come up with a plan later tonight after the game, get some sleep, and then tackle this problem tomorrow. I'd have to grovel, make her see that I was only giving her a divorce because I thought that's what she wanted. Surely she'd believe me.

Gannon was a taskmaster, making me warm up and then pitch over and over again until we broke for a late lunch in town. Thankfully, the job I was working on could wait. This fucker kept me under lock and key like he worried I might bolt. We went back to the softball diamond and worked on hitting until the girls showed up with their Blueballer gear and decorations. They strung ribbons from the backstop and tied balloon clusters on each dugout. More of the guys started showing up as the sun began to sink in the sky. I kept an eye out for a short blonde woman, but I never saw her. Maybe Rainey wasn't into softball like she had been back in high school.

"Hey!" Gannon smacked the back of my head. "Get your head in the game."

I turned on him, bumping my chest against his. He was really starting to piss me off. "Who made you captain, asshole?"

He grinned like an idiot. "That's more like it. Take that aggression into the game. Those Hellman boys piss me off. They think they're so fuckin' pretty."

It was true. They were a handsome bunch with beautiful wives and a bazillion kids running around. And sadly, they were really good at softball. The smell of popcorn and hot dogs from the food cart that got wheeled in every time we had a game made my mouth water. All that practicing had made me hungry.

The game started and I still hadn't found Rainey in the stands. Paisley was on first. Gannon was shortstop, Lincoln was third baseman, and Boston's huge chest made a second backstop as he crouched down as catcher behind the plate. Other guys and girls I'd gone to school with were scattered in the outfield. I didn't recognize the umpire because he was hired from another town to our south to referee this game. Nobody trusted an ump from Hell or Blueball. Not when the two towns had a rivalry going back decades. No one knew what it was over, but every generation kept it going anyway.

We were heading into the ninth inning, tied at four runs each. My uniform tee was dotted with sweat. The sun had long since gone down, leaving us with the bright lights overhead, but it was still muggy out and we were giving it our all. Fuckin' Ace Hellman had hit a home run last inning, gloating as he took his lap around the bases.

Paisley smacked my back with her glove when we took the field. "Look alive out there, Burns."

I frowned at her. I'd been pitching better than I ever had. Probably because I kept hoping that Rainey was here somewhere behind the stands, watching me like she had in high school when I pitched on the varsity baseball team. She used to wear my number and taunt the other team, her hair tied back with ribbons in our school's colors. She was half the reason I was a decent pitcher back then. I didn't want to let her down.

Boston walked to the pitcher's mound, a weird smile on his face behind the catcher's mask. "Whatever you do, don't get distracted, okay?"

I gave him the same look I'd given Paisley. "What the fuck, man? Worry about yourself." He cracked up and walked back to home plate without another word.

Why was everyone acting so strange today? And where the fuck was Hell's first batter? I looked over at their dugout, but no one was stepping up to take their practice swings. Then the crowd began to cheer and my gaze shifted to the backstop where the most beautiful woman in Blueball came strutting out onto the infield with a bat resting on her shoulder.

Aha. Rainey Shaw was here.