Chapter 10

Scarlett knewher brothers had questions. That they had reservations. They didn't say anything of course, thank God, that would have been awkward, but when she and Taz had casually announced they were leaving the carnival early to head back to his place for a barbecue, they didn't need to speak. Their expressions spoke volumes.

They thought she was making a mistake. And she probably was. But it was too late now. She was back at the Pullman ranch and in spite of everything, had managed to relax a bit and enjoy herself. She'd borrowed one of his mother's bathing suits and taken Hank into the pool with the girls. Their squeals of delight and Hank's uncontrollable giggles made her heart melt. But it was the sight of Taz in a pair of low-slung board shorts that had her lady part parts singing. That saying, tall drink of water? Hello, he was the original poster boy.

They spent a couple of hours by the pool, and she was beginning to think if he wasn't the whole package, he was damn near close to it. He was attentive. Funny. A good host. Plus, he was so easy with the kids; she knew none of this was for show. The man loved his daughters and watching him hold her son left her feeling something she wasn't prepared to feel. Not here, not with this man.

Longing for something more than what she had.

And how inconvenient was that? It was kind of inevitable, she supposed. She was lonely. Being a single parent hadn't been her dream, and though it was her choice to have Hank, to bring him into a world where his father didn't exist, it was still hard to do it solo, even with the love and support of her family. Because at the end of the day it was Scarlett, in the dark, in a lonely bed by herself with no one to talk about her day with. No one to share the simple joys and gifts Hank gave her. Like when he sat up on his own for the first time. Or when his first tooth had poked through.

"What's going on inside that head of yours?"

Scarlett adjusted Hank in her arms and sat back in her chair. The baby was sound asleep. They'd just had dinner and the girls were in the bath, their excited chatter echoed down the hall, a nonstop plethora of words and twin gibberish.

"I'm thinking your girls will have more water on the floor than in the tub by the time they're done in there."

Taz cracked a smile. "You're not wrong." His gaze dropped to her sleeping son. "Here, let me." He took the baby and set him down in the playpen, then turned to Scarlett. "Can I get you anything?"

Sex. Lots of sex.

God, she cringed at her thoughts, unable to control them.

"Um, maybe a glass of water?"

"Sure."

While Taz went to the kitchen, she smoothed out her hair, which had gone crazy from the heat and water, and sank deeper into the chair. Taz returned and set down a glass on the table beside her, and then took a seat across from Scarlett. His eyes, normally a light shade of green, were dark and the look in them made her stomach quiver. Anticipation, the kind that tied up a person in knots hit her hard and it took everything she had to remain calm.

"So," he said casually. "This has been nice."

She nodded, nonchalant. A cool cucumber if there ever was one. "Yes." She reached for the glass, taking a good long sip of cool water.

"Are you okay?"

"What?" Startled, she set the glass back down. "I'm…I…"

"I'm teasing." He grinned. "Though aside from the obvious thing between us I guess you don't really know me all that much."

"Thing?" She sat up.

"Yeah." Taz's grin widened into something wicked. "You want me."

Her mouth opened but she didn't get a chance to retort because his next words took them all away.

"I want you."

Mouth now dry, she grabbed up that glass again because she needed to do something with her hands. She stared at him over the rim and said nothing.

"Maybe we should take some time to get to know each other better before we move on to the inevitable."

"That's a cocky statement," she replied dryly.

"Confidence is something I've never lacked." He winked. "At least that's what my mama tells me." He lifted his chin. "Let's play a game. You ask me one question and then it's my turn. Everything is on the table. No subject is off limits."

Scarlett considered this for few seconds and before she could stop herself, all but blurted. "Have you ever been in a serious relationship?"

"Once."

"How long did it last?"

"That's two questions, but I'm feeling generous. Two years."

"Why did it end?"

Taz shook his head. "My turn."

Her heart rate spiked and she watched him closely, afraid of what he was going to ask, but wanting to hear it, because whatever this was going on between them had her fired up but good.

"I think I'll ease into this," she said with a grin.

"Don't go soft on me now, Pullman."

He laughed, a rich sound that made her smile in return. "Who was your first kiss?"

"Robbie Davis at the football field on a Friday night when I was fifteen." She paused. "How old were you when you lost your virginity?"

Taz leaned forward. "Thirteen. What about you?"

"Seventeen." She pursed her lips. "Was she older or younger than you?"

"Older."

"How much older?"

He shook his head slowly. "You don't play by the rules, do you Peaches?" A pause. "Seventeen."

"That's a big age difference."

"What can I say, puberty hit me early. What's your favorite movie," he asked.

She didn't have to think about that one. "All the Harry Potters."

"All of them?" His eyebrow shot up.

She nodded. "With special emphasis on the last one. Snape damn near broke my heart. You?"

"Back to the Future."

"Not surprised."

"No?" Again, his laugh warmed everything. "When is the last time you were with a man?"

And just like that the game changed. The air between them practically sizzled with heat. With desire and need and a bit of sadness. She shifted her gaze, wondering what she should say, but then decided to play by the rules and be honest.

"The last time was somewhere in Ireland." She looked at him, more curious than she cared to be. "Have you ever been in love?"

"No." He didn't hesitate. "I mean, there was this woman, Rachel, and I thought I was in love, but she was just filler. Someone to occupy an empty spot. A body to warm my bed. At the end we both felt the same."

"She's the woman you were in a relationship with for two years?"

"No."

Puzzled, Scarlett wasn't sure where to go from there, but Taz was feeling talkative.

"We're still friends. Rachel that is. I talk to her from time to time. She up and married a guy from Tennessee and she's got four kids of her own. What about you, Scarlett? Were you in love with Hank's father?"

She bowed her head, as memories and feelings crashed through her mind. "I thought I was. I mean, he was older and sophisticated and me made me feel like a woman." She looked up at Taz. "I'd never felt that way before. But I don't think it was the kind of love that sustains a person. He was too selfish and I..." She picked at the corner of the chair. "I've never thought about it that way. I was too deep into his rejection. Into his lies and how they made me feel to realize I was better off without him."

"I'm sorry he hurt you." Taz got up and reached for her. She grabbed his hand, and he pulled her to her feet. Then, wrapped his arms around her. She took that moment to savor the sensation. His strength. His warmth. His maleness. She could stay in his embrace forever.

And that thought was concerning.

"Daddy we're done." The girls yelled and the spell was broken. Taz's hand was on the side of her cheek and for one moment in time she was lost in his eyes. Lost in him.

Scarlett cleared her throat and stepped away. "You should…"

"Yeah."

While Taz got Cameron and Ryan out of the tub, dried off and into clean pajamas, Scarlett got busy packing up her son's toys and diaper bag. Luckily, she had one diaper left and quickly changed her sleepy boy. She held him closely, inhaling his baby scent, her heart playing a song only for him.

When Taz appeared, she smiled, suddenly shy. "I think I should go."

Taz nodded. "I'll take you now."

The girls skipped along ahead of them, happy to avoid bedtime even it meant riding in a truck for thirty minutes, while Scarlett and Taz were quiet, each seemingly lost in thought. When he finally pulled up in front of the house, the twins were fast asleep, and she waited for him to come around and open her door. She slid from the truck and hooked her diaper bag over her shoulder while Taz removed the car seat and handed over Hank.

She took a few steps, feeling silly and unsure, like that fifteen-year-old out behind the football stadium with Robbie Davis. Taz moved closer and swept a kiss over her forehead. It was the lightest touch and invoked such longing that it brought tears to her eyes.

"We're doing this again, Peaches." His breath was warm, cascading over her skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. "Because I had one hell of an evening and because I need to know."

"Need to know what?" she managed to say as she took a step toward the porch.

Taz held her gaze for a heartbeat. "If you smell like peaches all over." His voice dropped. "And then I'm going to find out if you taste as good as you smell."

He held her gaze for nearly a full minute, and she wondered if he could hear her heart banging against her chest. Then with one last smile he turned and climbed into his truck. Taz slowly accelerated and she watched the truck until the taillights melted into the surrounding darkness. Then when her heart had slowed enough for her to gain control of her legs, she made her way up onto the porch and let herself into the silent house.

With Hank cradled against her chest, she started for the stairs but froze when she heard Bent call out from his office. She hadn't realized he was still up.

"You have a good time?"

"Yes," she answered, eyes on the shadows as he came into view. Bent leaned against the wall, hands stuck into the pockets of his jeans. "You waiting up on me?"

"I suppose I am."

The love she had for her brothers was fierce and she was overcome by the enormity of it. They'd all been there for her when she'd returned from Europe, pregnant, alone, and broken.

"Thank you," she said simply. She took exactly one step when Benton spoke again.

"Promise me you'll be careful with him. You give yourself away so easily."

Her brother wasn't wrong.

She glanced over her shoulder and smiled. "I promise."

After Scarlett tucked in her slumbering baby, she stood back and watched him, awash in the silence that was her life. It was a silence she was used to. A silence that, in and of itself, was comforting. Then she thought back to dinner, to a man and his girls and his obvious love for them. It made her heart swell, full of melancholy and a maybe a hint of sadness for what she'd never had. Malcom had made sure of that.

Silence was fine. It was safe.

But she knew it wasn't enough. It didn't come close.