Chapter Seven

Brad took Kendrick at his word. When they walked into the store together, Brad kept his hands at his sides. He didn't touch Kendrick, though.

Kendrick cleared his throat before speaking. "Can I hold your hand?"

Brad smiled and took Kendrick's hand in his, lacing their fingers together.

"I…um…now would be a good time to tell you I get panic attacks sometimes when I'm away from what's familiar. Like pretty much anything outside of Pickleville." Kendrick felt heat rise from his chest, up his neck, to his cheeks. The confession shouldn't have been embarrassing. He wasn't a person who thought his mental illness made him weak. Through therapy and his many discussions with Royce, he understood that he had come through a tough experience as a stronger person.

He didn't know how Brad would react. Randall would have given him a bloody lip in seconds. While Kendrick knew Brad wasn't Randall, he still didn't know him, and it was the unknown he feared the most.

Brad let go of his hand and, hesitating once, he put his arm around Kendrick's shoulder and pulled him into his side. "What can I do to help?"

That question wasn't one someone would ask if they were going to hurt Kendrick. The understanding and kindness went a long way to calming Kendrick's anxiety.

Kendrick leaned into Brad, letting his warmth and gentleness ease his worry. "You're doing it."

"I don't feel like I'm doing anything at all." Brad rubbed his thumb in circles on Kendrick's shoulder.

"I can tell you care about people. Me included. You're not a creep."

The store lobby doors slid open and Brad let him go when Kendrick reached for a cart. As Kendrick pushed it through the second set of doors and down the main aisle, Brad walked beside him with a hand on the small of his back.

Brad created a solid presence beside him. His strength flowed into Kendrick, making the fear melt away. He didn't have to worry about what the strangers in the store were capable of because regardless of who they were, Brad would protect him.

And then Brad said, "If I do anything you don't like, tell me. Okay?" And something about that settled the rest of Kendrick's nerves, letting him focus on something other than his internal struggle. It also made Kendrick realize Brad struggled as well.

"I will. I promise." Produce was the first section, and Kendrick headed for the spring greens. He chose the organic mix and put it in the cart. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Brad grabbed a container of cherry tomatoes when Kendrick pointed to it, setting it next to the greens.

"What happened to your parents?"

That sparkle of light went out of Brad's eyes. "My mom died of cancer when I was younger. Caden was so young, he doesn't even remember her."

"What about your dad?"

"My dad was very abusive, which is why Luis, Caden and I live together. I was nineteen when we left."

"That's probably the best thing to happen to your brothers." Kendrick wanted to lighten the mood. It was their first date, after all. Kendrick didn't realize how deep discussing his parents would get.

"I don't know. I had a lot of problems. I didn't have very good coping and problem-solving skills. Luis and Caden didn't benefit."

"But you're better now. Right?"

Brad made a sound in the back of his throat. "Therapy gave me the tools I needed. And hopefully it's not too late to be better for Luis and Caden."

Kendrick added mushrooms and onions to their cart while contemplating all that Brad had said.

He seemed open and maybe some would say, honest to a fault. For Kendrick, the conversation was refreshing.

Brad wasn't trying to charm him. If Brad had been, Kendrick would have distrusted him. Instead, Brad stayed quiet and would have been rather unassuming if he weren't so handsome.

Kendrick didn't feel like a fish contemplating taking the bait around Brad the way he had with other men in the past. And although his penchant for charming men had only backfired once, it had left him second guessing his own judgment.

"How long have you been sober?" Kendrick grabbed a plastic bag off a roll and put four large potatoes inside.

"Six years, one month, and…five days." Brad smiled and the little sparkle came back into his eyes again.

He tied off the bag and put the potatoes in the cart. "This is a weird first date, isn't it?"

Brad chuckled and kissed Kendrick on the cheek. "It is. It's probably more domestic than we wanted it to be."

Kendrick smiled. "Yes. But it is sorta fun. I like the grocery store a lot better when you're with me."

"Me too."

They fell into a comfortable silence as they made their way over to the meat department. It wasn't until Kendrick looked at the steak selection that either of them spoke again.

"What about you? Any siblings?" Brad turned toward Kendrick, staring at him instead of helping with the steak-picking.

"Yeah, I have an older brother, Owen. He was injured in a car accident a few years ago. He's in a wheelchair now and lives with my sister Kristy, who is younger than me." Kendrick picked four ribeye steaks that would cook nicely on the grill.

"Sorry to hear about your brother. That must be really hard."

"Yeah. He hasn't adjusted well, not that I blame him. Living with him is hard on Kristy. Those two have never meshed and with Owen's foul mood it makes it a lot worse. Royce said that if things don't improve, we'll go get Owen and bring him to Pickleville. But Owen's refusing. We're all giving him what he wants for now. Royce will get his way and Owen knows it, which just makes him even madder. And I am so sorry. I feel like I just gave you most of my family drama."

Brad chuckled again. Kendrick didn't remember him laughing so much while in the bar, but maybe that had a lot to do with being around so much alcohol. "Royce is your cousin. I almost forget that sometimes."

Kendrick smiled. "Because he's white. I know."

Brad shrugged. "It's more about you guys not looking alike."

"Our moms were sisters. Royce looks like his father. So much so, they could have been twins." Kendrick pushed the cart again, heading for the spices.

"What about you? Who do you look like?" Brad put his hand at the small of Kendrick's back again.

"Myself, I guess." He shrugged. "No one in particular."

"What about your parents?"

"Dad died when I was a teenager. My mom died of heart disease a few years ago. It's really just Owen, Kristy, Royce, and I." He wanted to change the subject to something a little happier. As he stopped next to the spices, he focused on Brad. "Does your tan go all over?"

Brad raised his blond eyebrows and grinned before full-on laughing. "You are full of surprises."

The more time Kendrick spent with Brad the more trust set in. He'd picked a nice guy for his first date since his last, disastrous relationship and he felt good about that. He also felt good about having a second date with Brad. Kendrick smiled. "I hope that's a good thing."

"A very good thing." Brad kissed him on his cheek again and he worked his hand up Kendrick's back to his shoulder. He drew closer and the slight awkwardness and first date nerves melted away. "You're not nervous anymore, are you?"

"I'm comfortable with you." Kendrick's gaze moved to Brad's bare arm. "So does it?"

Brad shook his head. "No. I'm outside a lot so it's basically a farmer's tan."

Kendrick wanted to see so badly. Picturing Brad naked did nothing to help the inappropriateness of getting a boner next to the spices in the supermarket, but there it was. In his brain. And then he said the first thing that came to his mind. "I'm tan all over."

He knew he must appear as stunned by the words as Brad. Brad pulled him into a hug and Kendrick let him.

And then someone said, "Get a room." The tone sounded irritated and aggressive.

Kendrick stiffened and pulled out of Brad's arms. He averted his gaze from the person who'd spoken, but he could tell it was a man based on his voice and what he could see from his peripheral vision. The man scoffed until he saw Brad's face. Brad never said a word, but he didn't have to. The man turned and walked away.

Kendrick kept his gaze on Brad, watching his expression change from fierce back to the gentle one he always had for Kendrick. Brad turned to him with concern on his face. "Are you okay?"

Kendrick nodded as if on autopilot, and then he thought about it. "He scared me, but I didn't have a panic attack. Huh." He knew he appeared confused but couldn't help it.

"People scare you? Not places?"

"Right. Yes. Mostly unfamiliar faces." But he'd always panicked before. A stranger reaching for something close by would make him abandon his shopping cart and go home. If Brad hadn't been there with him, he would have left the cart. His chest would have tightened, making him feel as if he were having a heart attack.

None of that happened, though, and the only thing that had been different was Brad being with him. Or maybe it was being with another person. He'd have to make Royce go with him sometime to test his theory.

He smiled. "I'm good."

"You know how you confessed panicking in strange places?"

Kendrick nodded.

"Well, I have a confession too." Brad leaned into him until Kendrick could feel his breath against his ear. When he whispered, Kendrick shivered with the closeness. "When you kissed me, that was the first kiss I've ever gotten from a man."

Of all the things Brad could have said, that had been the last one Kendrick expected. "How is that possible?"

Brad pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. "I was in denial for a lot of years. And then with working all the time, rebuilding my life after doing my time, and my brothers, I haven't focused on dating."

"But you want to date me, right?" Did that question sound needy? Probably, but he wanted to make sure Brad actually wanted a first date. Kendrick would work on getting a second date later.

"Of course. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Is me being a virgin to the whole gay dating thing a deal-breaker?" Brad was the one who seemed insecure, and something about that made Kendrick feel as if he were a kindred spirit since Kendrick was one enormous ball of insecurity in most situations.

"What! Of course not." Kendrick cupped Brad's cheek and kissed him on the lips. He kept it brief and the second time, Brad wasn't the first one to pull away. "I like knowing I'm starting over with someone who is basically doing the same. It's nice having that in common."