Chapter Ten

Maybe Jaron read more into what Travis had said at lunch than was there. He lay in bed staring up at the ceiling, going over the entire conversation in his mind, only he thought about the thousands of things he should have said instead of running away.

Maybe Travis hadn't meant anything by it other than making fun of Jaron, just like in high school. Although Travis had never, most of his friends had. Maybe nothing had changed in the town but him. And he had changed. He'd grown up enough not to stand by and take the crap others spewed his way. He understood that what other people thought of him wasn't any of his business, and he liked it that way. But even if Travis was making fun of him and the flirting was all one big prank, Jaron was still attracted to Travis. He felt helpless in the face of that and didn't know how to protect himself.

Jaron's phone chirped, indicating he had a text. The light on the phone came on, illuminating the dark room. Jaron looked down at Bobby's sleeping body. He put the phone on vibrate before checking the small screen.

Can't sleep. Wondering if u r up 2. Travis.

Yep. God, Jaron was hopeless. Why did he text back?

Can I come over? What was the man's motivation? Knowing that would solve a lot of Jaron's problems.

2 am and you'll wake Bobby.

I'll b quiet.

What do u want?

Can we have this conversation face to face?

Guess so.

Will u come outside?

Well, shit. Ur outside my door aren't u?

Lol. Yeah.

Jaron told himself a thousand reasons why going outside to meet up with Travis was a bad idea. Travis would break his heart before the end. One way or another, that was inevitable. Jaron knew it, and probably Travis knew it too. So why, oh why was he going outside in the dark with bugs that wanted to suck his blood and a man who may or may not want to suck something else? Why?

Jaron got out of bed and grabbed a pair of pajama pants that had purple and green plaid stripes on them. He tiptoed through the house as if he was a teenager. Okay, well, he was sneaking out. But he was an adult, damn it. He could leave if he wanted. Even if he did live with his mother and she would flip the fuck out if she knew he'd met a guy out on the street.

He slipped out of the back door and made his way to the front of the house. Searching around in the dark, he discovered Travis' truck across the street.

The pavement felt cool beneath his bare feet as he closed the distance between them. The air was just cold enough to raise goose bumps on his naked chest.

Crickets and frogs fought in the dark to see who could make the best night sounds.

Travis sat in his truck with the driver's side window rolled down and his arm resting on the window's edge. He had on the same clothes as he'd had on at lunch.

Jaron folded his arms over his chest. "Creepy much. What if I hadn't been awake?"

"Wouldn't have mattered. I haven't been able to think about anything or anyone else since I met you. Well, re-met you." Jaron hadn't seen such a serious side to Travis. Not that he knew much about him but gone was the mischievous playboy with the killer smile. In his place was a man who looked as if he had something important on his mind.

Jaron didn't know what to say. He watched the streetlights reflect off the shiny black surface of the truck, making pictures in the shine.

"Why does that scare you?" Travis watched Jaron. Jaron could feel his gaze burn into him.

"I could ask you the same thing." Jaron knew what scared him about Travis' flirtatious advances.

"I'm not out, Jaron. Hell, before you came into town, I had no intention of coming out."

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. For Jaron, being gay was something that came along at birth. Like having brown hair. Just another part of him. Jaron had always known who he was and what that meant for him. Finding men attractive was a small part of the bigger whole. "Are you looking for advice here? Because I don't have any other than to say, life is better when you live it authentically."

Travis smiled for the first time since they'd started their nighttime chat. "Is that why you came out in high school?"

"It was middle school actually and no. Brad Flynn outed me when he caught me looking at his dick." Jaron rolled his eyes. He had thought everyone knew that story. "No one should be forced out the way I was, which is why I'll just say we can pretend this conversation never happened and go our separate ways."

"No. I don't want that."

"Well, what then, Travis?" Jaron looked up at Travis, at the intensity in his eyes, and decided to lay it on the line. "I can't do casual. I have a kid that doesn't need that kind of inconsistency from me. He got enough of that from his mother." Jaron dragged his hands through his hair and laughed sardonically. "Do you even know why I moved back here?"

"No."

"Bobby's mother and her biker boyfriend killed each other. Bobby was in the room when it happened. I found them in my living room, and Bobby under the blankets on my bed."

Travis opened the door to his truck. Jaron moved out of the way. The minute Travis was clear of the door he pulled Jaron into his arms, hugging him.

"God, baby, I am so sorry."

"Tracy was a crappy mom, but she loved Bobby." Jaron hugged him back for a minute, just enjoying the heat the other man gave off. Jaron stuck his face in Travis shirt-covered chest. He smelled good, like soap and something distinctly Travis that Jaron couldn't name. Jaron sighed and let him go.

Travis took a step toward his truck. "I've never dated anyone seriously before. Don't know if I want to."

Travis' honesty shouldn't have caused an ache in his chest, but it did. He folded his arms around his middle and took a step back. "I understand."

"I didn't say that to hurt your feelings."

Jaron's gaze snapped to his, and his eyes narrowed. "You didn't."

Travis gave him a disbelieving look, but he didn't continue down the path that would start an argument. "I'm just saying I need time to consider things."

Jaron rolled his eyes. "I'm not one of the girls in this town who throws themselves at you just because you're handsome and charming. I'm not waiting in a tower for you to make up your mind whether or not you want to save me. I can and have saved myself."

Travis raised his eyebrows, and a slight smile turned up the corners of his mouth.

He didn't say anything, but Jaron knew the thoughts in his head as they'd had that same conversation once before. Travis might think him cute when angry, but he didn't feel cute. "Shut up."

"Okay." Travis' smile broadened.

Jaron sighed and turned to go back into the house. "Go home, Travis. Find some girl to fuck and forget we ever had this conversation."

"I never said I wouldn't date you."

Jaron shook his head and waved a hand. "And I never said I would date you, so don't think you have me on a string."

"Are you saying you don't want to date?"

Jaron made it to the middle of his yard before he stopped and turned. "I'm saying you're right. You have a lot to think about, and none of that has anything to do with me."

That must have been what Travis needed to hear because he nodded and got in his truck. He gave Jaron one last look before he drove off.