Chapter 38

38

DAPHNE

B ack at my house, I was reeling. Rattled.

No matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get warm. I was so cold, my teeth were clenched but I'd already lit a fire in my fireplace and I was sitting in front of it, drinking a cup of hot tea under a pile of soft blankets.

Still, I knew why I couldn't warm up. This cold was coming from inside me. It wouldn't go away until I managed to get a hold of my feelings, but nothing I did was working for that either.

I'd been to a few therapy sessions after I'd ended things with Peter. In them, I'd learned some coping mechanisms but no amount of breathing, visualizing, or anything else could ease the shock of seeing him so unexpectedly.

I'd been so caught up in my Sterling-haze that I hadn't spared a thought for the possibility of Peter coming back to town for the reunion in weeks. Before Sterling had shown up, I'd been sufficiently nervous.

I'd been mentally preparing myself for Peter's appearance for months, trying to brace for impact. I hadn't known if he would come back for the reunion, but I'd figured it was better to be prepared than to be caught off guard.

Then Sterling had shown up and reminded me of a time before Peter. A time when my young heart had longed for Sterling North and only Sterling North. All that nastiness that had happened after he'd left had kind of disappeared.

My focus had shifted to that rosy, innocent time before. I'd gotten caught up in those memories instead, even allowing myself to believe that maybe I could have something with The One Who Had Never Been An Option.

In the midst of all that, I'd shoved Peter all the way to the back of my mind and I'd hoped he would stay there, but nope. That guy had always had a way of disappointing me.

Two loud bangs suddenly came from my door and I jumped, biting back a scream as all the blood left my head in a rush and my heart started fluttering nervously, my stomach heavy with dread. I swallowed hard, reminding myself that Peter couldn't get back here.

He and I had lived together for the last year or so we'd dated, and once I'd left him, I'd fled home. I'd been too scared to get a place of my own and my parents had been so understanding even though they hadn't even had the whole story.

Eventually, my mother had offered me the guest house. Not only did Peter not know about any of that, but he couldn't get into the property. I'd locked the garden gate just to be sure. The only way in now was through my parents' house, or if you knew where the spare key for the gate was hidden.

My parents would never let Peter back here and he certainly didn't know where that spare key was, so I let out a long, deep exhale and got up, cautiously making my way to the door. With the immediate shock and fear of those bangs now subsiding, I had a pretty good feeling I knew who was waiting on the other side of that door.

Eric.

He'd probably found out about Sterling and me somehow and had come to kill me. Resigning myself to my fate, I gripped the cool metal handle of my front door and called through it. "Who is it?"

"It's me," Sterling's voice rang out and I frowned, surprised, but pleasantly so.

Once again, he'd come after me, and once again, I hadn't encouraged him to do so. Maybe there's hope for us after all.

I opened the door, and all that naive hope crashed and burned. Sterling's knuckles were bloody, his clothes disheveled and murder shone from his eyes. "Oh, my god. What happened?"

Stepping aside, I waved him in, locking the door behind us before I raced to the kitchen to grab a cloth to clean him up. He stalked inside but didn't say anything. There was a kind of a dazed look in his eyes and his teeth were grinding, his muscles practically vibrating with tension.

"Did you kill him?" I asked, only half-teasing as I wet the cloth and squeezed out the excess water. The only thing I could think of that might have happened was that he and Eric had gotten into a fight after my brother had found out the truth about us.

I wasn't seriously worried that Sterling had killed him, though. He loved him way too much, but it sure looked like it'd gotten a little out of hand.

"I want to know the truth about you and Peter," Sterling said, striding with purpose toward the kitchen and his eyes burning into mine as he came to stand in front of me. "Did he hurt you?"

My stomach rolled, the color that had returned to my cheeks draining all over again. My eyelids broke, blinking much too fast and much too often as my jaw went slack. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Daph," he said dully, his tone too blunt and too haunted. "Did he hurt you?"

"Physically or emotionally?" I asked, wondering where the hell this was coming from. "It was a long time ag?—"

"Did he hit you?" I saw the column of Sterling's throat move up and down, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard.

The only light in his eyes seemed to be powered by righteous fury, and in that moment, I knew that he knew. My heart sank to my feet, but I nodded. "It only happened once, and I got out of the relationship immediately after that."

A soft, pained groan escaped him and his eyes slammed shut, his features contorting as if he was in absolute agony. I didn't know what the heck was going on or how he'd found out, but I definitely didn't know why he was reacting this way.

"Sterling? I?—"

"Why didn't you ever tell anyone?" As he asked the question, he opened his arms and closed the distance between us, wrapping me up in a giant, tight embrace that made me feel safer and more protected than I ever had.

For the moment, I ignored the question, simply allowing the comfort of his gesture to finally warm me back up. I'd never noticed it before, but I fit perfectly against him, my head sliding neatly under his chin and my body slotting in between his arms like it'd been made for his.

As if we were two pieces of a puzzle that had finally been snapped into place.

I rested my head against his chest, sliding my arms around his waist and suddenly feeling my lungs expanding properly for the first time since I'd run into Peter. "I needed this, Sterling. Thank you."

He grunted, resting his head on top of mine and holding me closer, but his heart was pounding so hard that I could feel it. I sighed, still not quite understanding where this was coming from but somehow feeling exactly how on edge he was.

"I never told anyone," I finally murmured. "Rachel eventually deduced what happened from the bits and pieces I shared with her after I left him, but it was no one else's business."

Tensing against me, he huffed out a breath, and when I felt his head shaking above my own, I frowned, releasing him so I could step back and see his face. The level of incredulity and the anger on his features surprised me, but before I could ask about it, he scoffed.

"No one else's business?" he repeated disbelievingly. "Tell me you don't actually think that's true. You could've pressed charges, Daphne. You should've pressed charges. He assaulted you. He belongs in prison."

My frown deepened, my eyebrows creeping up. "I think you're the one who should be telling me that you don't actually believe that's true. First, I didn't have any proof, and second, you don't honestly think men go to prison for roughing up their girlfriends a little bit, do you? I agree with you that they should, but the system just doesn't work that way."

"Fine, maybe it doesn't, but you wouldn't know if it would've worked that way for you because you never even went to the cops. You didn't tell Eric either. There are people who love you, Daph. They would've helped you."

"The people who love me did help me," I said, so completely confused but also getting a little annoyed by the direction this conversation was going. "Look, I don't know how you think this is any of your business or how you found out, but whose blood is that and where did it come from?"

"It's Peter's," he said, shrugging as he folded his arms in front of his chest. "We ran into him at Maverick's and things kind of escalated from there. How is this not my business, Daph? It's about you, and you're my business."

I scoffed, taking another big step back and dropping the wet cloth he wasn't interested in on the counter with a plop. Those dark eyes were still burning with hurt, indignation, and anger, and while my head was spinning about the fact that he'd apparently beaten up my ex, I couldn't focus on that right then.

"I'm not your business, Sterling. Why do you even care about any of this? About me? You're going back to your life in New York next week and Peter will go back to whatever hole he crawled out of, and then what? Everyone in town is going to know that you went a few rounds with your old teammate, but Eric? He's going to know what it was about, but you'll be gone and I'll be the one who has to clean up this mess you've made."

"Why do I care about you?" He blinked hard, like he couldn't even believe I'd asked the question. Then he dropped his arms back to his sides and stared into my eyes like he was trying to see into my soul. "You are the only thing that has ever felt real to me, Daphne LaSalle. Ever. I've felt that way since the night I walked you home from that party, and if I'd stayed here instead of running off to college chasing my parents' dreams, you and I would be together. We'd be married by now and we might've even had a couple kids running around."

Today had been long and really freaking hard. After working double-time at the bakery, going to Rachel's, and then seeing Peter, I wondered if I'd fallen asleep on the couch. If Sterling being here at all was just a dream.

But the longer I stared at him, the more certain I became that it wasn't. I was awake. His knuckles really were bloody and his dark hair was tousled, his shirt half hanging out of his pants, and that look in his eyes?

The one that was so intense that there could be no doubt that he truly believed everything he'd just said? That was real too.

I didn't know what to say, but I slowly drifted back to him, step by slow step, those eyes were drawing me closer like they were magnets.

So many questions spun through my mind, but none of the answers seemed important right then. I already knew that he'd meant what he'd said, and really, that was the only thing that mattered. All this time, he'd felt the exact same way I had.

Like that party had been the start of something that could've been great, and now? We finally had the chance to make it happen.

As I reached him, I looped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer, pushing my fingers into his hair and tipping my head back. His lips touched mine in a gentle kiss, but it was one that made my world ignite.

What he and I had might be complicated, but it was so, so real. We belonged together, and after tonight, I didn't think there could be any getting away from it anymore.