18. Lucinda

18

LUCINDA

T he morning came with a thin mist hovering over Phoenix Ridge, the air heavy and saturated from the relentless downpour. Lucinda stood at the window of the Emergency Operations Center, her breath fogging the glass as she stared out at the gray world. The rain had been falling for days, unrelenting, beating down on the town as though the sky itself was determined to drown it. But as dawn crept over the horizon, the downpour had slowed to a steady drizzle, a faint whisper compared to the violent roar that had raged through the night.

She felt a knot of tension in her chest begin to loosen. After days of uncertainty, waiting for the worst—waiting for the dam to break, for the floodwaters to crash through the town—there was finally a sliver of hope. The radio crackled behind her, the low murmur of reports from field teams filling the room.

“The water level has stabilized,” one of the engineers from the dam’s monitoring team reported over the radio. “We’re still keeping an eye on the structural integrity, but it looks like the worst of the pressure has passed.”

Lucinda exhaled, her shoulders slumping slightly with relief. She turned away from the window, rubbing her eyes. It had been a long, sleepless night. Everyone at the EOC had been on edge coordinating the evacuation, managing emergency calls, and trying to stay ahead of the disaster. The storm had pushed them all to their limits, and now, with the threat of the dam breaking finally receding, exhaustion hit her like a wave. She pulled out her phone to see a multitude of texts from her mother and a few messages from Artie. Lucinda sent them both a message saying she was alright and would call them later. Thank god Artie and his partner had been out of town this week.

She caught sight of Becky across the room hunched over a map spread out on the table, deep in conversation with one of the other firefighters. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, her hair damp from the rain and pulled back into a messy ponytail. Despite everything, she still had that steely focus that Lucinda admired so much. Watching her now, seeing how she’d taken charge during the crisis, Lucinda couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride.

Becky had been a rock through all of this. While Lucinda’s job had been managing the medical teams, triaging patients, and coordinating hospital efforts, Becky had been in the thick of the action managing rescue efforts, keeping her team safe, and organizing the evacuation of entire neighborhoods. They’d barely had a chance to talk amidst the chaos, but there had been stolen glances, brief moments of unspoken understanding that passed between them, reminding Lucinda of why they were here—why they were trying again. Also, the moment they had in the closet last night. A last-ditch effort at claiming one another before inevitable doom.

She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed that connection with Becky, that unspoken bond they shared when they worked together. It wasn’t just professional respect; it was something deeper, something that had been missing from her life ever since they’d broken up. And now, in the quiet after the storm, Lucinda felt the weight of everything they’d been through together these past few days.

Becky glanced up and met Lucinda’s gaze, her expression softening just for a moment. It was brief, barely a second, but it was enough. Lucinda gave her a small, tired smile, and Becky returned it before returning to her conversation.

The radios crackled again, and Lucinda moved to listen.

“Water levels at the dam are lowering,” the voice of one of the engineers said. “We’re still not completely out of the woods, but for now, the immediate danger seems to have passed.”

Lucinda exhaled slowly. The words felt like music to her ears. For days, the dam had been the looming threat, the one thing that could turn an already dangerous situation into a catastrophe. But it seemed they had been spared—at least for now.

The tension in the EOC eased slightly, and the hum of activity continued, but with a more measured pace now. People were tired and worn down from the nonstop work over the last few days, but there was relief in the air, a sense that maybe they could finally start to relax .

Lucinda moved to the corner of the room, picking up a half-empty water bottle and downing it in a few gulps. Her throat was dry, and her limbs felt heavy with exhaustion. She hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours, but there was still too much to do, too many patients to check on, too many reports to file. Her head was splitting from the raging headache that had been plaguing her for three days.

She sank into a chair, rubbing her temples as the adrenaline began to wear off. Outside, the rain had almost completely stopped, leaving only a light drizzle in its wake. The streets, which had been rivers only hours before, were now littered with debris but no longer submerged.

Lucinda heard the soft scuff of boots on the floor and looked up to see Becky approaching her, a tired but determined look on her face.

“You doing okay?” Becky asked, her voice low but carrying that familiar authority.

She wondered if Becky was asking how she was doing with the emergency plans or if Lucinda had recovered from their affair in the storage room. She thought it better to answer vaguely.

Lucinda nodded, leaning back in her chair. “I’m fine. Just exhausted. ”

Becky gave a small, wry smile and pulled up a chair next to her. “You and me both.”

For a few moments, they sat in silence, the hum of the EOC continuing around them, but the chaos had quieted. Outside, the light was starting to break through the clouds, casting a soft glow over the soaked landscape. It was a strange sort of peace after the storm, the kind of calm that made you realize just how close you’d come to disaster.

Lucinda glanced at Becky from the corner of her eye. She looked worn out, her face lined with fatigue, but there was still that strength about her, the same strength that had drawn Lucinda in from the very beginning.

“How’s everything looking out there?” Lucinda asked, her voice soft.

Becky rubbed the back of her neck. “Better than we thought. We got most of the evacuees to higher ground in time. There’s some flooding in the lower parts of the city, but it’s nothing catastrophic.” She paused, her gaze drifting out the window. “We dodged a bullet with that dam. If it had gone, this whole place would’ve been underwater.”

Lucinda nodded, feeling a pang of guilt. She’d been so wrapped up in the hospital and her own role in managing the disaster that she hadn’t stopped to think about how much pressure Becky must have been under. The weight of the entire city’s safety had been on her shoulders, and yet she’d handled it with her usual calm.

“You were brilliant,” Lucinda said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Becky turned to her, surprise flickering in her eyes. “What?”

Lucinda met her gaze, her exhaustion stripping away the usual barriers she kept in place. “You did well. You always do.”

For a moment, Becky just stared at her, as if trying to read something in her expression. Then she gave a small, almost embarrassed smile and looked away. “I don’t know about that. We got lucky, that’s all.”

Lucinda shook her head. “It wasn’t just luck. You kept everyone together. You kept me together.”

Becky blinked, clearly taken aback by the admission. They hadn’t talked like this, not since their reconciliation. They’d been careful, cautious, avoiding the deep, vulnerable conversations that had once been so easy between them. But now, sitting here in the quiet after the storm, it felt right .

“I’ve missed you,” Lucinda said, the words tumbling out before she could stop them.

Becky turned to her again, her eyes searching Lucinda’s face. There was a moment of hesitation, a flicker of uncertainty in Becky’s usually steady gaze.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Becky admitted, her voice low and rough with emotion.

Lucinda felt her chest tighten. It was the truth they hadn’t been able to say, the thing they’d both been dancing around for weeks. And now with the city safe and the immediate danger passed, it felt like the dam holding back her own emotions had started to crack.

They sat in silence for a few moments longer, the weight of the last few days still pressing down on them, but now there was something else—a warmth, a connection that hadn’t been there before.

As the morning light continued to filter into the room, Lucinda reached out, her fingers brushing against Becky’s. It was a small gesture, but it was enough.

Later, as the storm clouds finally began to break apart, giving way to the first rays of sunlight Phoenix Ridge had seen in days, Lucinda stood on the makeshift observation deck outside the Emergency Operations Center. Her eyes were fixed on the horizon where the sun had started to burn through the heavy mist and was casting a warm, golden glow over the drenched city. She let out a long breath, her shoulders sagging as the weight of the disaster started to ease off her chest.

The rain had stopped.

It was surreal to stand there after days of relentless storming, after the fear that the dam would break and bring unimaginable destruction. The storm had felt like it would never end, but now, everything was quiet except for the distant hum of emergency vehicles and the occasional splash of water dripping from the trees.

Lucinda closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling the cool, damp air. Relief flooded through her, but it was mingled with a deep sense of fatigue. Her body ached, her mind weary, but there was also a glimmer of something else—a sense of clarity that hadn’t been there before.

The door behind her creaked open, and Lucinda turned to see Becky stepping out. They hadn’t had much time to talk since everything had started spiraling, and their interactions were kept to the professional necessities of the crisis. But now, with the storm finally breaking, the tension between them felt palpable.

“Hey,” Becky said softly, her voice carrying over the soft pitter-patter of the last remnants of rain dripping from the roof. “You okay?”

Lucinda smiled faintly. “I think so. We made it through.”

Becky nodded, her eyes scanning the horizon. “Yeah. We did.”

They stood in silence for a moment, both of them absorbing the quiet after the storm. Lucinda could feel the weight of everything that had happened, not just in the last few days but in the last few months since their breakup, hanging between them. There had been so much left unsaid, so much they hadn’t had the chance to address since they started talking again.

Lucinda glanced at Becky, studying her profile in the fading light. She had missed her more than she had let herself admit. Their slow steps back into each other’s lives had been cautious, both of them afraid to repeat the mistakes of the past, but Lucinda knew now that there was no denying what she felt anymore. The storm had tested them in more ways than one, and it had only reinforced what she had been trying to suppress .

“Becky,” Lucinda began, her voice quieter than she intended, “I’ve been thinking...”

Becky turned to her, her brow furrowed. “About what?”

Lucinda hesitated, her heart pounding in her chest. She had never been good at letting go of control or being vulnerable, but this was Becky. If she couldn’t be honest with her, then what was the point?

“I’ve been thinking about us,” Lucinda said, her voice steadier now. “About what we’re doing.”

Becky’s eyes softened, but there was a guardedness there too. “What do you mean?”

Lucinda took a deep breath, stepping closer to her. “I know we agreed to take things slow, to figure this out as we go, and I still think that was the right decision. But after everything that’s happened, I don’t want to keep tiptoeing around how I feel.”

Becky’s expression was unreadable, her gaze steady but searching. “How do you feel?”

Lucinda swallowed, the words catching in her throat for a moment. But she had to say them. She owed it to herself and to Becky.

“I’m scared, Becky,” Lucinda admitted, her voice thick with emotion. “I’ve always been scared. Scared of getting hurt, of losing control, of things not working out. But I can’t keep letting that fear control my life. I can’t keep letting it control us.”

Becky’s gaze softened, but she stayed silent, waiting for Lucinda to continue.

“I love you,” Lucinda said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I've loved you since you came to take care of me when I was sick and maybe even before that." She felt her face heat. "And I don’t want to keep holding back just because I’m afraid. We’ve been through so much together, and I think we both know that what we have is worth fighting for.”

Becky’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, her breath hitching as she absorbed Lucinda’s words, and for a long moment, Lucinda didn’t say anything. Her heart raced in her chest, wondering if she had said too much, if she had pushed too hard.

“I'm done running,” Lucinda said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I want to commit to this. To us. I know it won’t be easy, but I don’t care. I’m ready to face whatever comes, as long as we do it together.”

Becky's eyes searched Lucinda’s for any sign of doubt, but all she would find would be sincerity .

“Are you sure?” Becky asked, her voice quiet, almost as if she didn’t want to hope.

Lucinda nodded, her heart full of certainty. “I’m sure.”

A slow smile spread across Becky’s face, one that made Lucinda’s heart skip a beat. It was the same smile that had always made her feel safe, like everything was going to be okay.

Becky pulled her into a tight embrace, and Lucinda melted into it, burying her face in the crook of Becky’s neck. They stood there for what felt like hours, holding on to each other as the weight of their fears, their past, and their uncertainties seemed to melt away.

When they finally pulled apart, Becky’s eyes were still shining with emotion, but something in her expression still said she was holding back.

“So, what does this mean?” Becky asked, her voice laced with caution. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Lucinda rubbed her sweaty hands against her lab coat. “I could be if you wanted me to be, of course.”

Becky glanced away, her eyebrows furrowed together. She bit her lip as she thought. "I think I need to think about this. "

"Oh." Lucinda hoped her face didn't betray her disappointment. "Of course."

Becky caught her hand, pulling Lucinda close. Her hands gripped Lucinda's hips hard, like she was restraining herself from doing something rash. "Don't take this the wrong way. This has nothing to do with me not wanting you. You said everything I needed to hear. I just... The past few days…" Becky sighed, rubbing her eyes. "I want to make sure I'm not rushing into this. I need to sort through these feelings." She looked down at Lucinda sheepishly. "I don't want to mess this up again."

Lucinda nodded. "I under?—"

Becky cut off Lucinda's statement with a kiss. A kiss that promised everything and more. And in a way, it felt like a thank you. Lucinda's fears melted away for a split second.

Becky leaned her forehead against Lucinda's. "Come to my place tomorrow, ok? We'll talk."

As they stood there wrapped in each other’s arms, the sun finally broke through the last of the clouds, casting a warm, golden light over the city.

Lucinda lingered in Becky’s embrace for a moment longer, absorbing the warmth and strength that radiated from her. It was an odd contrast to the stormy uncertainty that had hung between them for so long. Now, as they held each other amidst the wreckage of the storm, it felt like they were building something new, something fragile but hopeful.

When Becky finally let go, her hands slid down Lucinda’s arms, their fingers still loosely entwined. Lucinda could feel the ache of wanting more, of wanting Becky to say the words she had waited to hear, but she knew she had to be patient. She understood Becky's need for time and clarity. After everything that had happened, jumping into a decision without careful thought would only risk breaking them again, and Lucinda wasn’t sure either of them could survive that twice.

“I’ll be there,” Lucinda said softly, her fingers tightening for just a second before she released Becky’s hand.

Becky smiled, but there was still that cautious look in her eyes. “Good. And rest before then, okay? You look like you’re about to pass out.”

Lucinda chuckled, glancing down at her ruined clothes. “You’re one to talk.”

Becky grinned, but there was exhaustion behind it. “Touché. But seriously, get some sleep. You’re no good to anyone if you collapse.”

Lucinda nodded, though she knew sleep wouldn’t come easily. Not after everything that had been said, and everything still left hanging in the air between them.

Becky gave her one last, lingering look before turning and heading back inside the EOC. Lucinda watched her go, her heart heavy with longing and something else she couldn’t quite put into words. She had laid her heart bare, but now she had to wait and see what Becky would do with it.

With a sigh, Lucinda turned back to the view of the soaked city. The streets were a mess of debris and standing water, but there was an eerie calm to the scene, as if the storm had swept away more than just the rain. It had cleared the air, leaving behind a strange kind of stillness, a blank canvas for what might come next.

Lucinda leaned against the railing, her thoughts wandering back to the moment in the storage closet last night. The desperate way they had clung to each other in the dark, both knowing it might be their last chance, had felt like a confession of sorts. A way of saying all the things they had been too afraid to say out loud. But now that they were on the other side of it, Lucinda knew that passion alone wouldn’t be enough. It wasn’t the sex that scared her; it was what came after— the vulnerability, the openness, the need to trust someone completely.

She let out a shaky breath, and her eyes unfocused as she stared at the horizon. Maybe that was why this felt so terrifying. She was trying to let go of control, trying to trust Becky again, but it was like standing on the edge of a cliff, unsure if she would be caught or if she would fall.

Lucinda’s phone buzzed in her pocket, pulling her from her thoughts. She glanced at the screen and saw a message from Artie.

Artie: Hey, just heard things are calming down over there. You doing okay?

She smiled faintly at his concern, tapping out a quick reply.

Lucinda: Yeah, we made it through. It was touch and go with the dam for a while, but things are looking better now.

Artie’s response came almost immediately.

Artie: Good to hear. Take care of yourself, Luce.

Lucinda: I will. Promise.

She pocketed her phone and glanced up at the sky again. The storm had broken, but inside her, the turbulence still lingered. She could feel the weight of everything pressing down on her—the exhaustion, the uncertainty, the raw emotions that had been laid bare between her and Becky.

But there was also hope.

Lucinda let her thoughts drift to tomorrow, to Becky’s house where they would finally have the conversation that had been brewing for weeks. She didn’t know what would come of it, but she was ready to face it. She was ready to face Becky, to face her fears, and to stop running from the things that scared her the most.

The sound of distant footsteps brought Lucinda back to the present. One of the EOC workers, a young woman in a fluorescent vest, was making her way toward her. Her face was pale, eyes wide with exhaustion, but she managed a polite smile as she approached.

“Dr. Everett,” she said, her voice thick with fatigue. “They’re requesting your presence in the medical bay. We’ve got a few more patients coming in from the outskirts of town.”

Lucinda sighed, rolling her shoulders as if she could shake off the weariness that clung to her. “Of course. I’ll be right there.”

The young woman nodded and trudged back toward the EOC building, leaving Lucinda alone once more. She took one last look at the sky and the rays of sunlight filtering through the thinning clouds before turning and heading inside.

As she walked down the corridor, her mind was already shifting gears, focusing on the patients, reports, and logistics of managing the aftermath of the storm. It was easier to slip into that mode and focus on the work, where everything made sense, where she was in control. But even as she dove into the familiar chaos of her job, there was a part of her that kept circling back to Becky—to the way her lips had felt, soft and urgent against her own, to the way her arms had wrapped around her like a lifeline.

Lucinda smiled to herself as she made her way toward the medical bay. Tomorrow would come soon enough, and when it did, she would be ready.

For now, there was work to do.