Chapter 9

Hyt … aka Cop Guy

The Aspis male flies off with the human female in tow, and all I can think is well, there goes my time off. I was scheduled to take the week of the Homecoming Festival for myself, but now that I’ve got trafficked humans to worry about, there’ll be no time for that. There’s nobody else that’s going to rescue them. My race—that is, the Falopex—couldn’t give two flying tentacle fucks about illegal human abductions.

I happen to be the lone exception to the rule.

“Shit,” I curse in my own language. I’ve heard from other species that it sounds a bit like popping bubbles, but I wouldn’t know. I can’t hear my own accent. A sexy human girl in a skintight pink suit, an angry Aspis, and … Him. I will give you one guess as to which part of my day I like the least.

The Vestalis prince is cursing in his language—clicks and whispers and hisses—that are automatically filtered through the translator in my ear. I opt not to wear the synchronicity contacts most days (the ones that offer the comforting holographic illusion that someone else’s mouth is moving in time with what you hear in the translator) because it’s easier to tell when someone is lying if you can see their real mouth.

He whips around to stare at me, wings swaying behind him like a heavy cloak. In all, there are one-hundred-and-three Vestalis princes vying for the throne, so I can’t possibly know them all. But if this one has truly found his mate—a once in a galaxy event—then he’s the most likely candidate for the next Imperial King of the Noctuida, and I should respond accordingly.

I’m also irrationally pissed off at the man, planting my hands on my hips and tucking the brim of my hat low for a minute to gather my wits together.

If he’s tasted the human’s blood, then she’ll never be free from him. Without her, he’ll die. Over the course of three weeks, he’ll starve to death without her blood, and his father—the current Imperial King—will use every resource at his disposal to ensure that doesn’t happen. She’ll become his bride, and she will never be allowed to go home.

Then there are all the treaties and protective orders put in place for Earth’s inhabitants. Those are out the window once news of this gets out. How can a human be an endangered species and also the Noctuidan princess? This is an intergalactic fucking nightmare.

“She’s mated to an Aspis?” I’ve never seen a Vestalis have a fit before. They’re almost grotesquely calm, well-mannered, and proprietary to a fault. This one looks like he’s about to devolve into something less sentient and highly enraged.

“No.” I lift my hat back up with a tentacle as my companion lands on my shoulder. I give him a look as he chirps at me, spewing pearlescent bubbles. You’ve never landed on a female before, I think, but I can’t say anything to him now with the Vestalis prince glaring at me. “She smelled like him, and he, uh, very clearly has an interest in her”—I can’t help but laugh, bubbles flitting from my own lips; the prince is not amused—“but I don’t think they’ve mated.” A pause. “Yet.”

“Yet?” The prince—I should probably catch his name—picks at the fingers of his red gloves. “What do you mean by yet? Is it not your job to seek and find her? You’re an officer of the Imperial Court.”

He’s right. I am. My people are the Noctuidan police. Every Falopex born becomes an officer. We’re unable to lie without a very distinct tell. As in, we change color. It makes us extremely trustworthy in the eyes of others.

“You’ve tasted her blood?” I clarify with a tired sigh. Tracking these humans has not been easy. One was eaten by a Mollusca (not a pleasant species, I’ll grant that). Another is being jerked around by those pain-in-my-ass twins. The male is in transit to the World Station for who knows what. And the other was kidnapped by a space pirate.

The last two—including the one that just flew off—have been much harder to find.

“Do I need to repeat myself?” he asks, and my companion chitters in annoyance. I stroke my fingers down the pink back of my pet and tilt my head to study the prince. If he’s telling the truth, that poor human female is screwed. She hasn’t mated with the Aspis yet, so returning her to Earth is a possibility. But this? This will ensure the life she lives is no longer her own. She’s better off staying on this planet for the rest of her living years. I’d choose an Aspis as a mate over a Vestalis any day.

“You have another human in your possession, is that correct?” My lips offer a sardonic half-smile. I ask questions over making statements. Why? Because a question is never a lie or a truth. It’s an inquiry. I can say whatever I want without anyone else being the wiser. “If so, do you think you might voluntarily turn her over to me so she can be placed back in her native habitat?”

“I don’t give a galactic fuck what you do with her,” the prince hisses at me, and I find it very telling the way he touches the weapon at his hip. He is mad. Won’t kill me though. It’d be a political nightmare for him. I wasn’t kidding when I said that my people weren’t under the control or authority of his. We rule ourselves.

Well, not me.

But that’s … unimportant.

“Galactic fuck, huh?” I ask, wondering what he’s actually said in his native language. Doesn’t matter. The translation works well enough. I sweep my hands down my midsection, and I try not to fantasize about the way that human female looked at me. I do enjoy a good flirt, but if ever there was an unavailable female, that girl would be it. Between a Vestalis and an Aspis? That’s like getting caught in a blackhole. The only thing awaiting you on the other side is an agonizing death and powdered bones.

You’ve always liked the hard-to-get girls, haven’t you, Hyt? I have. It’s true. But this is outside my scope—even if my companion likes her. I continue to stroke my pet’s back as the prince’s all-black eyes stare me down.

“If you’ve tasted her blood, then she’s your problem and not mine,” I tell him. My skin stays blue, proving how much truth there is in that answer. “Return the other human female by the end of the solar month. Shall I dock in the Station to pick her up?”

The prince doesn’t bother to respond, so I take his silence as an affirmative.

With a sigh, I look at the destruction around us.

The roof is gone, the alarm is still blaring, and gunners have taken to the walls with E-nets and mercury cannons. There are two dead Oku (no big loss), and I’m standing here thinking about all the paperwork I’m going to have to fill out after this.

And all the arrests I need to make.

I remove the weapon on my back.

“Alright.” My voice is pitched as loudly as I can get it. Not every scumbag in the room will hear me, but oh well. “By the authority of the Noctuida, you are under arrest for black market trading, sexual assault, and trafficking—but mostly for being truly shit at hiding your dirty deeds from a Falopex.” Another partial truth. I’m apathetic as I speak, halfway to a yawn.

On the inside, I’m a mess.

My companion flits from my shoulder as the occupants shuffle around like they might try to make a run for it. They always do. Fine by me. I usually shoot first, ask questions later, but I felt like I should try to do things by the book with the prince around. Maybe I just don’t care?

“You said you would send a team after the human,” the prince whispers from behind me. I don’t look at him. I lift my weapon to my shoulder and pull the trigger, nailing an advancing creature in the head. Or … was that its head? With nearly five-thousand species registered in the Noctuida, how am I supposed to know where to killshot them all? The male drops to the floor and twitches as I sigh. This Princeling is perceptive. “A lie?”

He’s standing far too close behind me, activating all my instincts. The scales on my swaying tails flare up in agitation. I’d like to shoot the prince, too, but that’s not allowed. I lift up my weapon and target the small group of aggressors stupid enough to come at me. The females slip past the pair of us, and I let them go. Some are wearing collars and chains. Fuck, this place has been on my list, but I just haven’t had the time.

The Vestalis prince waits, like he expects me to actually answer him.

“I wasn’t sure until you reconfirmed the blood exchange if I was or wasn’t going to send a team. The human female is no longer on my to-do list.” I turn that into an innuendo that he most definitely picks up on, and then I leave to deal with the brothel’s scummy customers.

There is no one else here—I am the sole and only officer on Jungryuk.

There’s a good reason for that, too.

“Alright, Cap’n Kidd, where’s the girl?” I ask with a sigh, tossing my gun onto the counter of the bar as I slide my nearly naked ass onto one of the old stools. The place is hodgepodge and impermanent, little more than a tent filled with mismatched furniture, a dirt floor, and pieces of crashed spaceships for shelves and counters. The owner—this curmudgeonly old Oku—curls the edge of his lip at me, baring a broken tusk. He’ll know by now that I murdered about … oh, two dozen of his closest friends and comrades.

My best friend, Kidd, sits back on his stool, crossing his arms and watching to see if I’m not about to get into a firefight with the bar owner. I’d rather just get a drink, but if he wants to start something, I’ll finish it for him and pour my own human-grade whiskey.

“Don’t make my afternoon any shittier than it already is,” Kidd tells me with a roll of his dark eyes. “Sit down and stop making a fuss. Haven’t you done enough today?”

I wink at the bartender, but it’s not an invitation: it’s a threat.

I turn to Kidd and lean an elbow on the counter, parking my head in my hand. My tentacles drift around, looking for something to do. I’m not sure if it’s even possible for me to keep them still. I’ve got precision control down to the tip, but I’ve also got too much energy not to use it at all times. I pick up a clean glass from behind the bar, ignoring the owner completely. Guess he doesn’t need to be dead for me to pour my own drink. He huffs and storms off, leaving me and Kidd to our own devices.

Without looking, I slide another tentacle down a row of bottles on the wall, finding the human whiskey through scent alone. Best part of working as a black market cop is confiscating all the wonderful black market things. I fancy myself a bit of a human collector. Alcohol, food, furniture. I find it, I take it home. I’m addicted to all things human.

Including their women.

That girl was … fucking beautiful. Have I ever seen a girl I liked that much? I glance sideways to see my companion floating just off to my right. He stares at me, and I frown, giving him a dark look as Kidd curses at me under his breath.

“Are you even listening to me? I said I’ve got your stolen human, and I don’t want anything to do with her. Get that woman the fuck off of my ship. She escaped today, did I tell you that? Ran through the market screaming at the top of her lungs.”

I turn back to Kidd with a sigh.

“He landed on someone today,” I tell him, ignoring what he’s just said to me. I can’t take his human back just now. I’ve got other humans to locate first. He’ll have to take care of her for me while I’m gone. I can’t just leave some random female in my house. It’s in the middle of the woods, and pretty much a guarantee that she’ll die there if I’m not around to show her the ropes. These poor fucking humans come in here with zero knowledge of anything. They don’t know how to keep themselves safe.

My sister, Kayla, is a prime example of that.

“Who landed on what?” Kidd asks, adjusting his hat.

I wear cowboy hats; he wears pirate hats.

There’s a reason for that, but I try not to think about that when I have other things to do.

“My …” I gesture at the floating pink critter with my tail. Kidd looks at the small animal, crosses his arms, and sighs. “He landed on someone I just met.”

“Remind me what that means again?” Kidd asks, tossing back a shot of something red and viscous. It’s an alcohol from his home planet, and I have no idea what it is. Kidd is most definitely not a Falopex.

I sit up straight, use one of my tails to bring a cup to my own lips. I down several shots of whiskey in a single swallow, pouring another drink with my tentacles as I give my companion another confused look. He has no name. I’m not allowed to name him, but I pretend like his name is Shithead sometimes.

“Well, Shithead? What do you have to say for yourself?” I ask him, but he just spews bubbles and then lands on the brim on my hat. “He likes that girl.”

“You mean you like that girl,” Kidd retorts, and then he pauses. “Wait. What girl are we talking about here?”

“You’ll have to keep the other one for a while,” I tell him, taking another drink. After I do, I realize what a waste of time this is, to pour my drink into the cup first. I’ll just take the whole bottle with me. I chug from it for my next drink, and then hold the bottle off to one side, standing up and using another tentacle to push my stool in.

“You just got here. Where are you off to now?” he growls, curling up the corner of his lip. There’s a panic in his eyes that I think has more to do with the erection in his pants than it does me. He’s been sporting a hard-on since he mentioned the human woman on his ship. He likes her, even if he doesn’t know it yet. I snatch my gun from the countertop.

“If you fuck that female, so help me, I will shoot your balls off. And you know I’ve got the aim to deliver.” I walk away before calling over my shoulder. “Oh, and I need you to watch her until I gather up all the other humans. Enjoy your drinks.”

Kidd curses me again as I slip out the door.

“You are one stupid, motherfucker, Hieronymus-Helio-Hyt!” he shouts as I part the crowd outside with my very presence. Traders quickly scrabble to hide their illegal goods from me, but I’m not stupid. I just bide my time and make smart moves. As the only officer on duty, I have a limited capacity with which to handle crime here. As in, everything that happens here is technically a criminal act. This planet is off-limits to space travel. Nobody is supposed to be here. But because people are here anyway, there’s an officer assigned.

I take a fresh swig of my drink with one tentacle, sigh, and then use another to pull up the bandana around my neck. The woods here are a dangerous paradise, but the market is dry and hot and dusty. Better to keep my mouth and nose covered.

Before I deal with any more shit today, I’m going home for a nap.

I’ve barely slept over the last four days, searching for the other humans. I deserve at least a few solar hours of shut-eye. With a sigh, I take off down the sandy path, trying not to fixate on the memory of that human woman running headfirst into me. So soft. Why did she have to be so damn soft?

Humans who mate with species outside their own can’t go back to Earth. It’s a dumb shit law, but I didn’t make it. Hard for me to break it though. I’ve illegally sent mated humans home before, but not when an Imperial Prince is after them. If I try to take that girl in the pink space suit away from the Vestalis, I’ll start a war.

The most attractive female that I’ve ever seen, and I can’t have her.

Not only is she pretty, she’s fascinating, too.As I make my way toward the market plaza, I consider the Earthling with the red-brown hair and the ripe, round hips. With a growl, I hook a thumb under the edge of my belt and beg my cock not to give me trouble until I’m home. She’s not afraid like so many of the others. She managed to charm an Aspis. She ignored a Vestalis mate bond, and told the prince to piss off.

I can’t have the woman, so I won’t let myself think romantic thoughts about her after today.

But for today … I have an idea in mind.

“By the authority of the Noctuida, blah, blah, blah, I’m seizing this item,” I mumble behind the bandana, walking right up to the abandoned Cartian bike next to the fountain. That Earthling woman rode this in here, yet another reason to like her. Yet another reason to resist her would be more accurate.

I try to turn the bike on, but it won’t start.

No wonder it hasn’t been stolen yet. It weighs a lot, and it isn’t worth much if it doesn’t start.

Good thing I know a place to get contraband Cartian power cores.

I unholster one of the smaller guns from the strap on my back, using a tentacle to hold it as I strut over to the frosted white tent where the humans were first held. The owner sees me coming and yanks on a rope that changes the Humans … pets, meat, or mates sign to one that offers fresh fish or some other stupid ass lie.

“Oh, Officer Hieronymus,” Trevor says, turning to me with a smirking smile and all four of his hands clenched into fists. I hate my first name, but I only give my nickname—my real name—out to friends. The twins here definitely don’t qualify. “You came to see me, did you?”

I don’t respond, just lift up my gun so that I can shoot him in the head.

Blood spatters the tent wall as he collapses to the floor. Moron. I take my time looking around for the human female he’s been holding captive. She isn’t here which must mean she’s with the other twin. Taylor, I think it is. I’m sure these creeps have other names, but the human ones they stole are the only ones I’m aware of. Also, twins might not be the most accurate description. They’re the same person. I have to kill both halves within a very short frame of time in order to finish them completely.

I’ve tried taking a body with me before, hoping to hold onto it until I found the other half. But Trevor/Taylor just splits in half again. There are always two. They are always identical. They can function independently and get into twice as much trouble.

“Where is that girl, you fucking punk?” I grumble, literally stepping on his back as I walk past him, whistling to myself. I find the power core I need inside the gun at his waist, and then I tuck the small, pink cylinder into my belt to take back to the bike. I switch it out using the compartment beneath the seat and then tap the screen.

She flares to life, four pink balls glowing beneath the clawed feet, and I smile.

“Thank you, Earthling,” I whisper, mounting the bike and using it to ride straight through the woods and back to my house.

I toss my weapons on the side table next to my bed, relaxing on the massive round cushion and propping myself up with my tails for a brief few moments to stare out the wall across from me. It’s entirely made of glass, offering a perfect view of the woods beyond. I don’t worry about privacy. There’s nobody out there.

Except somewhere in these woods, that Aspis is sharing his den with a human woman.

I grit my teeth and let myself fall back into the pillows, hooking two tentacles under my belt on either side and pushing it down my hips and thighs with a groan. I wrap another tentacle around the base of my cock, jerking hard to encourage the secondary part of my shaft to emerge.

It’s been … well, never since a female has managed to rile me up this much.

I’m cursing under my breath, skin turning pink then blue. Pink. Blue. Truths and lies swirl together in a verbal miasma as I throw my head back into the pillows, my suckers lubing up in excitement. I’ve only got one on the end of each tail, but hot damn, they feel nice. I press them all over my body, stroking myself and allowing my mind to drift into the realm of pure fantasy.

That girl, in this room, trembling as I use a tail to unzip her hot pink, skintight space suit. That was a Cartian suit, wasn’t it? A Cartian suit, and a Cartain bike, and a Cartian translator. The oddity of that only adds to her allure, my brain conjuring crystal-clear images of her peach skin and cute little navel. Her breasts, so unlike the females in my species, plump and full and dressed in delicate human fabric.

A groan escapes me as I rub the warm oil of my pheromones on the tip of my cock. If I get aroused, my suckers lubricate. I have as much control over those as I do my erection. Less, actually. That woman. Underneath the heavy musk of Aspis, I could smell her. She was slick with need between the thighs, aroused. Every subtle scent signature she was giving off promised a hot fuck.

One tentacle jerks me off, nice and rough, while my fingers drop down to the small tentacles at the base of my dick, just above my balls. There are nine there, too, and I can feel and control each and every one. Is it any wonder that my people are known throughout the Noctuida as the most desirable species around?

“Son of a bitch,” I groan, rolling over, every muscle in my body taut with agony. I have never in my life been this turned-on, and it’s fucking maddening. I can scrape by with a few hours of sleep, but a few hours is all I’ve got to spend here. If I spend the whole time masturbating, then what?

Curling one of my tentacles in a tight loop, I mount it and thrust into that hard coil, groaning shamelessly as I dig my fingers into the mattress. I’m all alone in this big house, so who cares? Outside, the roar of an Aspis ricochets through the woods, shaking the glass walls of the old spaceship I’ve built my home in and around.

Doesn’t matter.

I hear that shit all the time.

I focus on my mental image of the human woman, her curvaceous form kissed with slick, hot pink fabric, and I start to imagine myself peeling it off. Over her shoulders where her soft hair would touch my skin, down her naked and vulnerable human flesh, past that round ass and those shapely legs. I’d kiss her all over, every part of her alien body under my mouth. I’d play with the strange patch of hair that humans have between their legs. I’d mount her with my cock and my tentacles both. I’d wrap her up so that there wasn’t a single inch of her skin that I wasn’t touching. Stroking. Petting.

With another curse, I come hard into the coil of my own tail, filling it with hot, clear liquid. I’m mumbling so nonsensically that my skin keeps flashing between two separate colors. One for lies. One for truths. I’m not even sure what it is I’m actually saying.

I sit up and do my best to keep that bit of tail curled, trying not to dirty my bed.

Doesn’t work.

Semen drips down the length as I storm over to the toilet—found it in one of the black market stalls and took it as contraband—and flick the useless liquid into the bowl.

Now, I’m a Falopex. I don’t need a toilet.

But I built this house for more than just myself.

As I stare down at the porcelain device, I frown.

I put a toilet in for Kayla, my adopted sister who’s never been allowed to visit.

I put a toilet in for the future wife I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have.

Mating a human is a cruel condemnation. Mated humans aren’t allowed to be returned to Earth. How could I ever do that to a woman?

Your own fault for developing an interest in the one species you can’t have, I murmur, flushing the toilet and finding myself pleased when it works the way it should. I’m no engineer, but I’ve got a pipe system here that could make even my father proud.

I snort a laugh at that and look up, fixing my hat in the reflection of the glass wall.

Right.

Sleep? Who needs sleep? I’m wired now. Masturbating didn’t help. Only made things worse.

I sweep by the kitchen for some snacks, retie my bandana around my neck, and make a plan to take my new bike off in search of those goddamn twins.

One human at a time, I do my best to get them all back.

The girl I’m fancying though? She’ll have to stay with the Aspis for now. If I go through the trouble of finding her now, the prince will take her from me. It’s a wonder she didn’t beg to go with him in the first place.

Never in all my life have I known a female to reject a Vestalis bond.

For now, she’ll be safe with the Aspis male, although … they may very well be on their way to a mate bond of their own.

“Fuck my life.” I use all nine tails to open the locker behind me, withdrawing several additional weapons and then slotting them into the holster slung over my shoulder.

I should’ve warned that female when I had her right in front of me.

At least … if she does mate the Aspis, she’ll stay here on Jungryuk.

Maybe we could be friends? I could really use one.

I’m laughing as I step outside, slamming the empty house’s front door behind me.