Chapter 18

The rain hasn’t stopped by morning which is unfortunate. If Officer Hyt found us here, how long until that stupid moth shows up? I’ve been trying really hard not to think about him. Two reasons for that really. One, I like his eyes too much to admit. Second, the knowledge that I’ve condemned him to death leaves me with a sour pit in my stomach. I’m near to tears when I focus too much on the idea.

I’m sitting cross-legged in the doorway, watching the rain fall when Abraxas comes up behind me, rubbing his massive body against my back like a friendly kitty cat. A smile touches my lips, but though I made my own decision to stay here, knowing that I’m not allowed to go back is bothering me.

“Why would the forces that be keep mated humans from going home?” I ask without turning around. I can’t shake how much that law bothers me. I forgot to ask Hyt if he’d be able to erase Tabbi’s memory. Though, if I’m being honest, she’s just the sort of celebrity to go off on a tirade about aliens. Nobody would believe her. They’d just laugh and up her psych meds. That bothers me, too, for some reason. “So all these traders have to do is rape us and that’s it?”

I think about Jane, calling my name in the market. She doesn’t seem to be a prisoner, but she’s thirsty as hell. What if she’s fucked an alien, too? I don’t … I don’t want to hope for that, but if we’re both stuck here together, that’s not so bad, is it? I sigh and rub at my face.

I’m nervous and twitchy, and I want to leave the den, but when I stuck my hand into the rain earlier for a test run, it burned my skin the way the female Aspis’ stomach acid did. It’s not an insta-kill sort of thing, but if I go splashing around out there, I’m going to find myself in a world of hurt.

“The Noctuida is not a fair or just place.” Abraxas flops onto his side beside me, tucking my body into the curve of his. I’ve decided this is my new favorite place in the entire universe. “If it were, the Vestalis would remove the interlopers from this planet and leave the Aspis in peace.” He exhales and turns, using that flexible spine of his to bring his head around so that he can lick the side of my neck. My whole body erupts with heat, and I choke back a gasp. “I am sorry that you have suffered, little one.” He nuzzles me, and I slap my hand over my mouth to keep back a sob. I don’t want to cry anymore. I especially don’t want to cry about him or make him think that he’s anything less than a gift. “It distresses me greatly that I have trapped you here; I will spend the rest of my life working to make yours enjoyable.”

The tears are right there, but I don’t let them fall. They cling to my eyeballs, salty and annoying. I will them to disappear.

“It’s not your fault,” I tell him, rubbing back against his head and closing my eyes. “You heard the cop: it was that stupid moth’s fault. I was screwed when he tasted my blood.”

I remember sitting in that tent with my blood pushing and pulsing. I wanted nothing more than to launch myself into that guy’s arms. I thank my lucky stars that I was too wounded to get up off the floor.

I turn suddenly, throwing my arms around Abraxas’ neck and hugging him as tightly as I can. He pulls me into his arms and tucks me close to him. I can hear a heartbeat in his chest, as loud as a drum. I wonder how many hearts he has? Just one? How big is it? I’m curious to learn more about his anatomy.

“This is a soothing gesture,” he tells me, like he’s never had a hug before. Thinking about it now, not only am I sure that he hasn’t been touched by anyone or anything else in years—not since his parents, if that’s even a thing with the Aspis—but also that hugging is not part of their culture. “I am pleased by it, female.”

“It’s called a hug,” I tell him, still clinging shamelessly to his warm body. “Humans do it out of love, but also for comfort.” I draw away from him, and he grins at me, licking my face before he extricates himself from my grip and pads into the nest.

When he returns, he’s dragging several furs with him. He lays them out in the doorway and creates a makeshift bed right there on the floor. I climb onto it with a sigh, sitting cross-legged with my elbows on my knees and watching the rain.

Creatures swim in it, sinuous things that glow with dizzying colors, some of which I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen before. How do I describe that? A color my eyes have never witnessed. Their bodies flutter with gauzy fins as they wiggle through the downpair, curving themselves into circles or knots, winding around one another.

“They are mating,” Abraxas tells me helpfully, sitting beside me and making me feel decidedly nervous all of a sudden. But not like I’m nervous about Moth Guy finding us. Nervous in a good way. I clear my throat and try to act like I’m not thinking about sex. “They only mate when the rain is acidic and sharp.” He watches them with his gem-like eyes, and I watch him. As pretty as the rain creatures are, he’s far prettier. “They will lay eggs, and we will eat them.”

He grins so widely that his face looks like it’s severed in half by teeth.

“Your people … don’t lay eggs do they?” I can’t believe I didn’t think to ask until now. Not that it matters. We’re not going to be able to have a baby. That’s too easy. Everything about this is hard. Why would we be able to make a child together? Does that make any sense? I know he says he’s seen it happen before, but … he could be mistaken.

“Fear not. Aspis are born live and bloodied.” He turns to me, and that sharp grin, it stays in place while he embarasses me to endless levels. “Our child will be born the same way. I will deliver it with my hands from your beautiful body.”

My cheeks turn bright red. I am not a blusher, but this guy is just … way too much.

“Seriously? Shut the fuck up.” I turn away from him, crossing my arms over my chest. I’m glad I chose to wear the lavender dress again today. I don’t feel like being naked right this second. “We’re not having a baby.”

He tilts his head at me, perplexed.

“You should not have asked for the mating rod twice in as many days. We should use the pleasure rod in its place.” He growls that at me, standing up and stalking around me, shadows dancing and blurring the edges of my vision. He pulses with light, and I catch my breath. “Although I do not believe it matters now.” He grabs either side of my dress with his winged hands and then yanks. The lavender gauze splits right in half, and I let out a sharp sound of surprise.

I barely register being put on my back, but it doesn’t matter. This is where I want to be anyway.

Abraxas covers me with his body, both cocks exposed. He rubs them against me, teasing as I writhe and dig at his chest with my nails.

“Which do you want, female?” he asks, still grinning down at me. “It is your choice.”

“Both.” I put my hands over my face as he pauses his movements. I can just feel him tilting his giant head at me. I part my fingers to look up at him. “Did I explain to you how my anatomy works?” I can barely get the words out. Not sure what happened to caustic, bitchy Eve, but somehow, I’m like a kitten when it comes to this guy.

“I know your anatomy quite well,” he says, and then his mouth disappears into his face as he waits for a serious response to such a ridiculous statement.

“You’re such an arrogant dick,” I mumble, dropping my palms from my face. With one of my hands, I reach down and point. “I can … we might be able to use both of your dicks at the same time.”

Jane and I have this silly list that we keep with each other: most embarrassing things that’ve ever happened during sex. Charley horses. Slippery sounds. Lost condoms. But this? This is the fucking worst.

Abraxas picks me up with his strong hands under my ass, and he brings my crotch right up to his face.

“You are certain?” he asks, like he doesn’t believe me. His face is like two millimeters from my genitals. “This channel looks quite small.”

“Put me down,” I grind out, one of his wing-hands behind my back, the other supporting my neck. I’m suspended with my head hanging downward at a forty-five degree angle. Lovely. “I’m certain. You just … need to be slow and careful.”

He sets me gently down on the furs, rain pouring in heavy, dark sheets outside the den. Zero’s screen is silent, empty, like she doesn’t care to witness this ridiculous mating behavior. I don’t blame her. If I had to watch me and Abraxas, I’d gag on the lovey-dovey vibes. It’s gross.

Also … I, um, forgot to mention her to Officer Hyt. Oops. I really will take him up on his offer to go to the market at some point. Then I’ll tell her and he can deal with her bitchy ass. If I’m going to be living here, I will not be intimidated away from the market. I want to be able to go there and buy shit. Maybe I can pay Trevor and his twin to take a message back to Earth for me? They seem like opportunists.

“It’d be nice if we had lube,” I continue, sitting up enough to study Abraxas’ cocks. They’re not at their smallest size right now, but I think I can … I want to … “Fuck it. Let’s try it.”

“You need me slick?” he asks, interpreting my prior statement. “I will make myself slick for you, my mate. Males of my species are solely responsible for lubricating their females.” He reaches down and strokes himself with his hands, one on each cock. His sack is out, too. It isn’t always visible, but I like it. I’m a bit of a perv if you hadn’t noticed.

I lie naked on those soft furs, our only light provided by the bioluminescent spirals and stripes on my mate’s body. He uses those long, deft fingers of his to pet and stroke his cocks, working liquid from the tips of both. More than that, dew beads on the lengths of both shafts, lubricant that I didn’t even know he was making when he was inside of me.

I can literally smell it, and it’s making me want to writhe and thrash and thrust.

I turn over, putting my ass up in the air. I could tell Abraxas that I have ways of using his mating rod without risking pregnancy. But … I’m not going to. Not right now. Tomorrow maybe. Also, I know that I could’ve simply stayed on my back, and he would’ve used it there out of necessity. I have a confession to make: I slightly prefer that one over the other. The shape is exquisite.

“You could make me slick, too,” I whisper, cheek pressed into the furs. “With your tongue.”

There’s an electric stillness behind me.

“You wish my tongue to lap your sex nectar?” he asks me, his voice a low grumble. I feel his breath, sharp and hot against my exposed sex. Here I am, prone and nude and vulnerable with an alien predator behind me, the literal king of the forest who could kill me in less time than it takes to blink … and I feel safe. Protected. Cherished.

Clawed hands curl around my hips as he leans in, chuffing another breath against my swollen cunt. It must look obscene from his view, all plumped up and pink and contracting before we’ve even started.

“So delightfully eager,” Abraxas continues, and then I feel one of his long fingers stroke down from my ass to my opening to my clit. “You smell like a snack, female. If you wish to be eaten by me, I shall oblige.”

I bite the fur under my cheek and wiggle eagerly, waiting for that first heated slip of his powerful tongue.

That’s not how he starts. Instead, Abraxas bites my ass cheek, puncturing my pale flesh with his sharp teeth. It’s just a nip, but it’s enough to attack my blood with those pesky pheromones. The pain is instant, but the pleasure is ongoing. It takes over as he laps the wounds, healing them with his magic spit.

The strength of his tongue on my ass is incredible, rocking my body with each lick. It’s almost like being spanked. I force myself to breathe, pulse pounding in my ears, desire ballooning into something hot, wild, and uncontainable. It breaks free from me in a moan, one that’s loud and needy and honest in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever been before. With just us here, there’s no reason to hold back.

Sorry, Zero.

Abraxas doesn’t stop at my ass, using his massive tongue to lick my spine, my shoulder, my hair. He grooms me all over, until I’m shaking and throbbing, oh so close to begging for it. He returns to my cunt before I lose all of my dignity, teasing my inner thighs and offering just the barest brush of his strong, wet muscle on my curls and clit.

“Abraxas, please,” I finally blurt, rocking back and forth on my knees, trying to entice him by thrusting my hips a little. “Touch me there.”

With a growl that might be a chuckle, he complies.

His entire tongue slips over my pussy, consuming every part of it with a single flick.

“Oh, fuck.” The words slip out, and he growls again, laughing at me even as he’s getting me nice and wet and ready for him. “Fuck, Abraxas. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Not so little now,” he repeats with more rolling laughter, and then he parts me with strong but gentle fingers, opening me up so that he can see everything. “You are so pink and sweet, so tender and wanting for me. How could a male resist?” His tongue lashes out, diving into my pussy and shattering my mind.

Abraxas slips in deep, filling me almost completely with his tongue. He fucks me with it before withdrawing, bathing my outer folds and then testing the tip against my clit. I go wild for that. I’m thrashing and humping shamelessly when he grips my shoulders with his wing-hands, grips my hips with his hand-hands, and then takes his time exploring that pert, sensitive nub.

As he lavishes me between the thighs, his tail sneaks between us, seeking out my breasts. Abraxas isn’t shy, letting venom ooze from his spikes, smearing that purple liquid across my nipples, using his tail tip to tease and flick before he curls his whole tail around one breast and squeezes.

“I can’t take it,” I whisper, shivering violently as tears prick the edges of my eyes. I want to come, but I also don’t know if I can. It’s too much. Too intense. My whole body belongs to Abraxas in that moment. Will always belong to Abraxas. I was ruined the moment he attacked that wagon.

If there’s such a thing as fate, then there’s no way the stars weren’t involved in orchestrating this meeting between us.

“I want your cocks,” I tell him, loving the use of the plural. Two dicks. Both mine. Only mine forever. “Hurry, please.”

“Not yet, female,” he tells me, his voice deep and low, almost sleepy with satisfaction. “Your pheromones are the sweetest taste to ever cross my tongue. I’ll have more of you now.” He slips his tongue inside my cunt again and I contract, milking him there in the most embarrassing way possible. He makes such satisfied sounds for me though that it’s hard to be shy about it. Once again, I’m tongue-fucked to the brink of orgasm.

This damn dragon though? He knows exactly when to take a pause, tongue slipping out of me. When he licks over my rear opening, I stop him.

“Don’t put your tongue in there,” I breathe, and yeah, well, apparently it is still possible for me to be embarrassed around this guy. “Try a finger instead.”

“Such odd mating habits,” he murmurs, but not like he’s unaffected or uninterested. With a pheromone-tipped finger, he dips inside my willing body, and I gasp out another sharp moan. A human finger is relatively small. This is not a human finger. Abraxas’ digits are big, but slippery and scaled, dressed with those violet spirals that push me into a much more primal state of mind.

He takes his time with me there, following my signals, thrusting in when I push back, withdrawing slowly when I gasp out barely coherent curses. Another of his hands finds my pussy, stroking and petting and exploring my alien body with his fingers. All the while, his tail never stops playing with my breasts.

I know it’s time when I’m panting, when I’m practically drooling, when I can scarcely remember any other life outside of this one. I can be happy here. I want to be here. It’s not a life that I ever expected, but it’s one worth living to the fullest.

Complete and utter freedom, that’s what Abraxas is offering. Freedom and fucking and food. I want it.

“Now,” I choke out, suddenly frantic. “Now, now, now.”

“Yes, my mate,” he purrs, withdrawing his hands and adjusting his huge body behind mine.

Abraxas takes my hips in his massive hands, and I suck in a wild inhale. His wing-hands rest on the floor on either side of me, wings protecting me from the cool air drifting in from outside. Abraxas makes a very male, very excited sound as he licks the side of my neck and then bites my shoulder, holding me still for a wild mating.

He presses both cocks against me at the same time, and I squeeze my eyes shut, panting with anticipation. I trust him not to hurt me. I don’t even tell him to go slow; he’ll be soft with me. For a monster as big as he is, that’s impressive and endlessly endearing.

My pussy is more than ready—he could’ve sheathed himself fully in an instant—but he takes his time with my ass, slick and wet and dripping those intoxicating pheromones of his. I groan when he presses the tip in, opening me up to his vibrant heat.

“Female.” The word is little more than a purr, unfiltered by the translator. He’s speaking to me in his own voice. I push back against him for encouragement, taking more of his shaft inside of me. Not every girl can do this—not every girl wants to do this—but I happen to like it in both holes. There’s a wall of very sensitive flesh between the channels, and I absolutely love it when it gets pinned between two hard lengths.

Never thought I’d meet a guy who could take care of both things with his own body.

With impressive restraint, he works himself inside of me until he bottoms-out, and I realize what it’s like to truly and utterly be full. I can barely breathe, taking these soft, small panting breaths. The rain pours, and lightning cracks, filling the space with white light before it dims to stormy gray. In the distance, thunder rumbles the displeasure of the sky.

“You are well?” Abraxas asks me, his own voice cracked with strain. He wants to fuck, and yet he sits still and waits.

“You can start moving.” My words are a whisper. I don’t want to admit it, but I don’t think I’m going to last very long. I can already feel an orgasm pressing against the base of my spine.

He does what I’ve asked, sliding out of both channels simultaneously. He makes this pleased purr that quickly descends into a growl, rocking his hips forward to slam into my ass. His sack rocks with the motion, hitting my clit and offering up that beautiful poison from his violet spirals.

“What an exquisite little female,” he tells me, covering my body with his. He bands one arm around my waist and tugs me into him, rubbing his lower belly against my back. The more skin that’s touching during sex, the happier he is. “There is not an Aspis female in existence that could do this.”

He moves slowly at first, quickening his pace only when he realizes that I have no problem taking him completely. That’s on him: he really did make us both perfectly slick for the act. Not only are we all lubed up, but the marks he gave me, the ones that make my vagina glow, I can tell they’re relaxing me, opening me up, welcoming him inside.

“Faster,” I gasp, and he bites me again, fucking me now as hard and as fast as he wants.

I surrender with complete, blissful abandon, relying on Abraxas to keep me upright, to hold me in place. If he wasn’t keeping me still, he’d probably mate me right through the floor to the ground below. I wriggle and moan, bite my lip, drip with sweat. He uses his tail to sweep my body, to touch me everywhere, to coat my skin in that deadly venom. It tingles as he rubs it into my clit, sparks of pleasure that cause my pussy to double down, gripping him, claiming him.

He snarls aggressively, teeth sinking deeper into my shoulder, claiming me.

I relax into it, an orgasm finding me within minutes of his increased pace. He slows for that, moaning and growling as I pump his body with my own, snarling when I mercilessly drain his sack. He waits for a few moments, teeth still buried in me, and then he starts to rock his second shaft into my ass. Even with his mating rod swollen and … I guess knotted? … into me, he grinds and rubs and fucks with deep, powerful gyrations.

The arm banded around my waist shifts up, a hand squeezing my breast. I’m sure his spine is curved up, sinuous and strange and alien, as he seeks to consume and enjoy as much of my body as possible. He’s greedy like that, touching every part of me, letting me touch every part of him.

His second shaft empties inside of me with his own climax, but he isn’t done. He keeps going, releasing a second orgasm in my cunt that curls my fingers and toes into the furs underneath us. I’m barely human when he rolls onto his side, taking me with him. We can’t separate just yet.

I close my eyes, listening to the thump and shush of his heart, his pulse. There are no little blood vessels between us this time—his pleasure rod needs to be in my pussy for that to happen—but his mating rod is swollen and thick inside of me.

We lie there together with the patter of the rain as a backdrop. It’s beautiful. If I tilt my head, I can see the creatures dancing in the water, twining around each other and making happy trills that sound a bit like birdsong. I relax my head and close my eyes. Pretty sure I fall asleep for a bit before he slips out of me, and I come to with a sharp gasp.

“I am sorry, female,” he murmurs, nuzzling my neck.

“Nothing to be sorry about. I just … I think I dozed off.” I sit up and rub at my eyes, and he splits his beautifully creepy mouth into another grin.

“If you need an energy boost, I will put my pleasure rod inside of you.” He’s not even joking. He’d go again. Right this very second. Whatever it is that happens when we have sex like that, it usually does leave me feeling perky and full of vigor.

“Food?” I ask, lifting a brow. He caught a massive fish-like alien thing earlier, and it’s lying in the nook, just waiting to be eaten. BTW, it has two heads with swordfish-ish beaks. Just ish though. Only ish.

“Food,” he agrees, with a bit of resignation. When he goes to move toward it, I grab his arm and squeeze him again with another hug. He looks down at me and tilts his head. “This is one of the reasons that I chose you, that I like you.” He sits back on his haunches and gathers me into his arms. “You are affectionate in a way that another Aspis would not be.” He tucks me up against his chest, and I close my eyes. I made the right choice. But fuck it hurts. It hurts so bad. I will always miss my family. Miss Earth. But he’s worth it. “You defended me when we were not yet mates. Many females would have abandoned me and thought of me as weak.”

I snort and shake my head.

“That’s ridiculous. You are anything but weak. They’re idiots.”

He growls with pleasure at my statement.

“You may be small and fragile, and you cannot hunt, but rare is the day that one Aspis apologizes to another. Rarer still is a thank you.” He rubs his horns against me, and I look up to see an unmistakable smirk on his toothy mouth. “An Aspis would rather go to the grave than admit to wrongdoing. All of the things that make you alien are the things I cherish most.”

Replace alien with what I know I am, and he’s just said, all of the things that make you human are the things I cherish most. I’m having a lot of trouble figuring out how to respond to a statement as profound as that. I almost laugh and brush it off, but that’s what I always do. I want to feel this. I want to be present in this perfect moment.

“Oh?” I do laugh a little there, just a soft exhalation. “Aren’t I a liability?” It’s almost a joke but not quite. I’m genuinely worried that Abraxas has put himself in danger by picking me. That stupid moth. I hate that fucking moth. What if he comes for Abraxas and hurts him?

He pauses, genuinely giving consideration to my question. That makes me nervous as hell. I almost pull away, but he won’t let me go.

“A liability?” Another pause. “Perhaps.” I actively cringe at that, but Abraxas isn’t done. He takes my face in a winged hand and tilts my chin so that I’m looking up and into his eyes. “Nothing in this life is free or easy. To get something worthwhile, one must give something up in return.”

That does it.

Tears roll freely down my face as I think about my family and friends, about my life on Earth, about all of the things I will never have again, and all of the things I have gained by coming here. He’s right: I have given something very, very precious up in exchange for this moment.

Abraxas licks the salt from my face and holds me until I’ve calmed down enough to make another joke.

“Shit, I’m such a crybaby now. Not sure when that happened. My mom swears up and down that I stopped crying at eight months old and didn’t shed another tear until puberty.”

That statement takes Abraxas a moment to parse through, even with the translator.

We have a lot to learn about each other.

“My mother and father still live,” he tells me contemplatively. “We will pay them a visit one day.”

That … scares the shit out of me.

“Perhaps for the birth of our child. That would be best. My mother is a talented midwife.” He snorts in bemusement and sets me aside, creating a fire in the nook so that he can cook my dinner. I throw a rock at his back, but it bounces harmlessly off.

“There is no child,” I grind out, hoping like hell that Jane is still here so we can talk about this. I need a girlfriend by my side—desperately. Maybe, like me, she’ll have fallen for some stupid hunky alien. That would be just like her. “Can we find another caravan tomorrow? I really need to make sure Jane is okay.”

“We will wait for the Vestalis prince to die, and then we will find your friend,” he tells me, and I hate how nauseous I feel at his words.

For some weird reason … I don’t want the Vestalis prince to die.