Chapter 5

FIVE

F elix's small fix shorted out every holo projector connected to the Xanadu network, including the one manning the reception desk. Several patrons in various stages of undress were harassing the stand-in, and the temporary receptionist looked something like a wilted rag.

"Maybe we should stick around," Felix said.

Zed had his wallet out, two small holo displays open. "I left a large enough tip to replace every projector, don't worry."

"We should see if Brennan's legal team can do anything about—" He couldn't even say the name. His shoulders pinched together and his scrotum prickled. His dick felt all flinchy. "It's gotta be against some kind of law."

"Already on it." Zed looked more than flinchy.

"You all right?"

"Targeting the Anatolius lawyers on whoever created that holo drama will go a long way toward making me feel better."

Felix grasped Zed's wrist briefly. Just long enough to send his love. Zed didn't answer, but he felt the corresponding surge of deep affection.

Zed continued to tap away at a display while Felix led the way clear of their latest mess. He spotted one of the Biswas' s many observation lounges across the concourse and pulled Zed inside. Thankfully, it was deserted. Leaving Zed to finish composing his note to Brennan, Felix went to the shielded windows.

On a less exclusive drift, he might be looking at a wall-sized viewscreen. The Biswas was a luxury liner. Every deck had a lounge like this, all lined with polyglass windows. Felix had been a little nervous—and skeptical—about the windows to begin with. And thankful they didn't have one in their suite. Spending the bulk of his life in space was one thing. He'd never been one to take comfort in a view of the void between the stars, however. All that emptiness left him feeling untethered.

Zed liked views. Sunsets, the night sky, horizons, starscapes, nebulae. Felix had once found him staring at a flower. A single yellow bloom. Apparently he'd been meditating. Felix stared out at the stars with the image of a yellow flower in his mind.

He sucked at meditation, but he could do the deep and broody thought thing. He'd agreed to this cruise because they needed a vacation. The past year had been…rough. A graph of crazy highs and lows that defied any sort of scale. Was his inability to relax and enjoy down time killing Zed's vacation? Were all the breakages a symptom of his very own brand of mania?

"Hey." Their connection snapped into place as Zed tucked an arm around his waist and leaned into him before turning his attention toward the view. "Anything interesting out there?"

"I was looking for a yellow flower."

"Huh?"

"Are you having fun, Zed? Are you enjoying the cruise?"

"Sure. Aren't you?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

Something other than the comforting presence of Zed spilled through the link. Anxiety? Felt a lot like sorrow. Or maybe guilt. Felix probed and got a heavier streak of remorse.

No sorry. I'm with you , he sent.

They didn't use the mental connection to talk often. Usually, a touch was like a check in. A brief exchange of I'm good, you're good, we're all good . Sometimes they passed along impressions. When they were being mushy, they communicated the deep feelings words couldn't cover.

Love, love, love , Zed sent back. His thoughts were more than just words, though. They were those deep feelings—and questions.

Felix turned to slip his arms around Zed's shoulders. He bumped his nose to Zed's and brushed a light kiss across his perfect mouth. "I'm sorry I keep breaking things."

With a dimple poking his left cheek, Zed kissed him back. Lightly, sweetly. "Doesn't matter where we are, Flick. So long as we're together."

Pulling back a little, Felix lifted his chin. "You say that, but I don't know that we necessarily enjoyed being together the last few places we were."

"I disagree. Both of us being there was the only thing that kept us alive. Sane. It's what got us here, to this point. It's why we're standing on the deck of the largest drift cruiser in human history, enjoying our honeymoon." Zed's certainty surged between them. An electric spark. He believed what he was saying. "Now, if you're done brooding, let's go find something else to break."

They ended up in a sports bar. Felix didn't drink. Neither did Zed, really. His unique body chemistry processed alcohol too quickly for him to maintain a buzz for longer than a handful of minutes. The bar served simple food, however. Old-fashioned favorites such as hot wings and nachos, and a wide array of snacks designed to keep people nibbling, drinking and socializing. Then there was the view. More polyglass windows, extending the length of the deck. Presently, half of the screens were acting like holo screens. The one closest to them showed a basketball game.

Watching the station teams fight for possession of the ball was about the most relaxing thing Felix had done in the past couple of days, and he could tell Zed enjoyed his pleasure. He kept touching his hand and grinning as if he'd taken a shot of happy juice.

Neither of them needed alcohol.

"Quit it." Felix moved his hand away. "You're being weird." Zed enjoyed his contrariness too.

"Every time Refall Station scores, your heartrate increases."

"Like I said, weird."

The Refall center plucked the ball from the air, stealing it from Xilos. Felix pumped his fist. A mental finger poked his cerebral cortex, sending a mental echo of the cheer down his spine and out along his limbs. Felix gritted his teeth against the almost pain. "Okay, that was worse than weird. Don't do that again."

"Do what?" Zed had both of his hands full of chips and salsa, as though he'd scooped too much on to one and had tried to catch the waterfall of tomato and onion with the other.

"You poked me in the back of the head. I felt it all the way down my spine."

"I didn't—" Zed gagged and dropped his chips to clutch the back of his neck. "What the…ow, fuck."

Felix had his own problems. His crystalline arm had started to hum. He couldn't tell if the sound was audible, or simply a resonance between him and Zed. He grabbed Zed's wrist and their connection slammed into place with a kick. Choking back bile, Felix let go. Beside him, Zed had his hands over his ears and his eyes closed.

They were probably attracting attention. Without bothering to look, Felix tapped at his bracelet, ready to call for medical assistance. Beneath the platinum band, his left wrist ached. His fingers twitched. And he could hear voices.

Hello , hello ! HELLO!

Felix met Zed's steel blue gaze. "Can you hear?—"

"Yes," Zed ground out. He dropped his hands and patted the air over the table in a gesture no one but Felix understood. Zed had a lot more practice talking to aliens than he did. He had regular conversations with the Guardians, after all. Used to, anyway.

Now, he was trying to tell the resonance to lower their voices.

Closing his eyes, Felix did the same. Too loud .

Hello?

Much better . Most resonance had to be reminded about the volume control. They didn't have ears, and they communicated using resonant frequencies that could damage human systems, including biological ones.

Who/where ? Felix sent, keeping his mental questions as simple as possible. The resonance didn't have words, either. He'd found communicating with them in terms of spatial relationships worked well. Like swapping engineering plans.

Here !

They didn't actually say that. They sent coordinates. Close coordinates. Felix looked up at Zed. "They're close by."

"Yeah, they're here for the same reason we are." Meaning the Biswas , not him and Zed personally, Felix assumed. Zed checked his wallet. "We're about ten hours from show time."

Drift cruisers looped through space in slow arcs. Because they never entered j-space—a folded envelope of reality forming the shortest distance between two points—they tended to confine their routes to a single system or defined region of space, allowing tourists to visit multiple stations, the rare planet marked as viable, and cruise past local phenomena.

The highlight of this cruise would be a close experience with one of the galaxy's most notable nebulae. Spanning twenty light years across, the Eagle Nebula was visible from as far away as Sol, over six thousand light years distant. They weren't much closer. Cruising through a nebula would be about as exciting as pressing your nose to a photograph. The unique clusters of gas and stars were better viewed from afar. They were close enough for the nebula to fill the view screens on one side of the Biswas , though, and tonight the polyglass windows would cycle through spectrums of light enhancement, painting the constellations with pretty colors.

The resonance wanted to view the nebula through human technology.

Honor. Zander Emissary. Fluffy Yellow Partner Unit. With. Meet. Resonate.

They wanted to board the Biswas and view the show with the two humans their species revered and adored.

Felix hated being revered and adored. He really liked the resonance, though.

It took a bit of maneuvering to arrange an audience with the captain of the Biswas , but Zed's name and his former position as the Guardian's emissary smoothed the way. Captain Guan greeted the news of the resonances' request with aplomb, though whether that was a result of inherent captain-ness or the fact that he helmed one of the most exclusive and passenger-centric drifts in human space, Zed didn't know. The rest of the command crew was disciplined enough not to show much emotion, but Zed caught a few nervous glances shared between colleagues. The resonance were still new enough that the galaxy wasn't quite sure of them yet. They certainly seemed threatening, with their massive crystalline forms adorned with all manner of spikes and skewers—unless you could hear their thoughts.

Then it was difficult to think of them as anything but happy puppies.

A few hours later, Zed and Flick awaited the resonance in the docking area. The four hulking figures transitioned through the airlock, happiness and excitement radiating from them. Beside Zed, Captain Guan remained impressively impassive.

"Welcome to the Biswas ," the captain said.

Smiling, Zed translated.

A low hum emanated from the resonance. Happy. Joy. Gratitude.

"They thank you for allowing them to board, Captain. They're pretty excited to be here."

"Of course." A small smile appeared on Guan's lips. "We've cleared a viewing lounge for your use, if you'll follow me?"

Again, Zed passed along the captain's words. Or thoughts that encompassed the words, anyway. It was weird to be communicating in pure concepts again. With Flick, the thoughts they shared were easily interpreted and simplified into words, but without the basis of a shared language with the resonance, it always took a little more effort to get simple ideas across.

They moved into the corridor and Zed was pleased to see that although there were more crewmembers present and crowd-control measures in place, the Biswas had not attempted to keep the presence of the resonance a secret. Passengers lined the corridor. A few had their wallets out to take holos while others just stared, eyes wide.

For their part, the resonance seemed unconcerned with the presence of other humans. Zed's connection with them hummed with a constant stream of greeting, which made him smile. He wondered if someday the resonance would come up with a way to communicate without the shards—through sign language, perhaps.

That would be interesting. And freeing.

The lounge was large and completely empty of other passengers, which suited Zed just fine. As much as he appreciated the resonances' desire to make friends, acting as translator was tiring and felt too much like work. But he was looking forward to socializing with them.

Captain Guan saw them seated in front of the polyglass windows, then retreated with a nod. Tension drained out of Flick, and Zed realized his husband had been looking forward to being a translator about as much as he'd been.

The resonance…grew chairs. No matter how many times Zed saw them rearrange their crystalline bodies into another form, he'd never get used to it. They settled onto the floor in front of the windows, and as one, began to resonate. The vibrations sank into Zed's neck, but whereas before, their connection had been overwhelming, this sensation was gentle, welcoming. With a sigh, Zed sank into one of the chairs next to the resonance. Flick took the other one, and threaded the fingers of his crystalline hand through Zed's. Their link thrummed into place, magnifying the hum from the aliens at their side, but it actually felt kind of good.

Fluffy Yellow Partner Unit limb sufficient?

Smiling, Flick extracted his hand from Zed's and held it up, shifting his fingers into another shape, one of the tools he used occasionally. Without touch, Zed couldn't "hear" what Flick said to the resonance, but he felt the aliens' approval and humor.

"Show off," he murmured to Flick.

Flick just smiled and leaned against him. The quiet contentment coming from him was something new, and Zed wondered if his husband was even aware that that now seemed to be his natural state, instead of worry or tension. Zed wasn't sure if their honeymoon was the explanation for the change, or the fact that they'd finally made a decision for themselves, instead of being tossed around by the universe—either way, it didn't matter. It just felt damned good.

The constant hum was almost meditative in nature. Definitely calming. Zed found himself letting go of the nonsense about the stupid porno, letting go of whatever worry he'd had about their ever-increasing damage bills. In the grand scheme, none of that really mattered. He and Flick had fought the universe for their happiness, and they'd won. Happily ever after was bound to come with a few bumps, and a few minor surprises, but that was life.

The lights in the lounge dimmed further, drawing attention to the starscape beyond the window. Slowly, the stars changed from mostly white and yellow to various shades of pink, from magenta all the way to the lightest baby pink. The light and colors seemed to make the nebula dance, teasing out clouds and shapes Zed hadn't seen previously. Over the course of half an hour, the colors transitioned into blue, then green, then purple, orange, yellow, red…it was really quite spectacular. The reverberations from the resonance increased as their pleasure in the show did, and between that and the simple joy of watching pretty lights, Zed hadn't felt so content in ages.

Fluffy Yellow Partner Unit and Zander Emissary resonate strongly. There was a definite sense of approval in the resonances' thoughts.

Thank you , Zed replied. He lifted his arm to wrap it around Flick's shoulders. He is my reason. His everything. Zed pressed a kiss to the bouncy blonde curls that had earned Flick his resonance name.

More approval, paired with acceptance, filtered across their link with the aliens. Strange how comforting it felt. For once, Zed decided not to analyze it, and just immerse himself in the moment. He was with new friends, his new husband, enjoying an amazing view.

Life truly didn't get any better.