Chapter 10

Chapter 10

“ I t seems like I made a mistake about PairTech.”

I stare down at the dregs of plum wine pooled in the bottom of my small ceramic cup. Rosa regards me from across the low izakaya table, her expression a mix of sympathy and patience as she waits for me to gather my thoughts. Her cheeks are flushed from saké, her eyes unfocused. We’ve already been at Izakaya Tanaka for two hours.

“Everything I saw there today, everything Aiko told me about their process and philosophy… it wasn’t at all what I was expecting. What I’d convinced myself PairTech’s methods would be like.”

I shake my head, struggling to put my swirling feelings into words. “They weren’t this soulless, reductive technological monolith.” I raise my arms like the monolith is right in front of me. “Their entire approach was warm, and nurturing, and… and rooted in the exact same principles that the Book Club is built upon.”

Saying it out loud like that, the magnitude of my own arrogant assumptions about PairTech really hits me. I had them wrong from the start, writing them off as an adversary to be defeated without even trying to understand where they were coming from first.

I am such an idiot.

Dropping my head into my hands, I groan and rub my face.

“Ugh, I’m such a fool. How could I have let my own biases blind me like this?” I rake my fingers back through my hair as I meet Rosa’s concerned gaze again. “I’ve spent the last week gearing up for this crusade against PairTech, convinced they were the enemy. When in reality…”

I trail off with a helpless shrug. Rosa’s dark eyes are full of empathetic understanding as she waits for me to find my words again. This is her usual M.O.. She was always the quiet one in the family, but that’s no surprise with five older siblings who are all outgoing.

“In reality, it seems PairTech’s methods are just as valid as our own.” Admitting it feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders, even though it brings additional worries. “Maybe even more accurate and reliable for finding a pair.”

There, I’ve said it, put voice to the doubt that’s been simmering ever since I stepped foot inside PairTech’s offices. The sick feeling that maybe, just maybe… the Book Club’s old-fashioned ways aren’t enough in this age of technological innovation.

I can’t meet Rosa’s eyes again, too afraid of what I’ll find reflected there. Pity? Harsh judgment for my arrogance and short-sightedness? My cheeks burn with shame and self-recrimination as the silence stretches between us.

Then, without a word, Rosa reaches across the table to place her hand over mine — giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Oh, Winta,” she murmurs, offering me a small smile. “I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this is for you. You have loved that club since you were a toddler. And now, to see this happen and have your beliefs so thoroughly challenged…” She shakes her head slowly, dark eyes shining. “That’s never an easy thing to reckon with. Especially for someone as dedicated to preserving our ways as you’ve always been.”

My throat grows tight with a swell of gratitude for my sister’s typical emotional insight. Rosa has always had a gift for cutting straight through to the heart of the matter.

“But you know,” she continues, giving my hand another comforting squeeze. “It’s not always bad to have your beliefs questioned. Sometimes, we need to be open to change when we learn something new.”

I laugh as I signal for the bill. It’s getting late. “I think your psychology degree is coming in handy.”

She smiles. “I’m glad you think so. Dad thought it was useless.”

We both roll our eyes at that. “Despite all the changes he’s made, Dad is still a curmudgeon.”

“Forever and always,” she says, pressing her hand to her heart. “As Tilli would say, he’s a butt.”

We both chuckle, and I pay the bill on my mini-tablet. I glance at the clock before I put it back in my bag. Oof, fifteen past midnight. I have been up for a long, long time.

“You’re absolutely right, though.” I stand up and grab my jacket. “Maybe I need to evolve. Maybe I should abandon this whole thing, cancel the open house, and just let fate take control.”

She lifts her finger as she grabs her coat. “I said no such thing. It’s important to be open-minded, but I don’t think you should give up.”

We wave goodbye to the staff and Mrs. Tanaka, bundle up against the crisp night air, and make our way out of the izakaya. A part of me feels kind of relieved at the thought of giving up this fight against PairTech. But a bigger part of me can’t stand the idea of letting go of the Book Club’s legacy without a fight.

I don’t know what to do.

“You’re quiet,” Rosa observes as we turn down the street towards the family estate. Rosa still lives at home with Mom and Dad. She’s been waiting for an apartment of her own for several years.

“I’m… conflicted now. Part of me wants to forge ahead with the open house and grassroots campaign like we planned. Give the neighborhood one last chance to rally behind the Book Club.”

Rosa hums in acknowledgment, waiting for me to continue unpacking my thoughts.

“But then another part of me wonders if I should just save myself the humiliation and cancel everything,” I admit, shrugging. “Especially after seeing PairTech’s approach. Maybe our ways really are becoming obsolete, no matter how noble they are.”

Rosa regards me steadily for a long moment, seeming to weigh her response carefully. “You know, for what it’s worth, I don’t think abandoning the open house plan is the answer here.”

I glance over at her, but she holds up a hand to stop me.

“Listen to me for a moment,” Rosa insists. “Even if PairTech’s methods are better than you first thought, that doesn’t mean the Book Club’s values are worthless. Who says we can’t still find great value in the Book Club’s mentorship and close-knit community, the library,” she emphasizes, “even if PairTech operates here? The two ideas don’t have to cancel each other out.”

Yeah… Yeah, she’s right. In an ideal world, both methods could be valid pathways to the same goal of pairing. They don’t have to be at odds, do they?

“You’re right,” I say, feeling a small spark of determination grow inside me. “It doesn’t have to be either or.”

A slow smile spreads across Rosa’s face as she loops her arm through mine, giving it an affectionate squeeze.

“So… can I interrogate you about all these delicious rumors involving you and a certain handsome noodle chef, or…?”

I nearly trip over a crack in the sidewalk, cheeks flaming hot despite the evening chill.

“Oh my God!” I groan, throwing back my head. “Not you too!”

We come upon the main street of our neighborhood, where Rosa will turn right to go home, and I’ll go left. Despite the late hour, many businesses are still open and people crowd the sidewalks.

“Well?” she asks.

I roll my eyes. “There’s nothing there. In fact, I… I’m going to go tell him right now that I don’t need his help, and he’ll be one-hundred percent better off if he just sticks to his noodles and stays away from me.”

Rosa’s lips fall into a frown. “That’s not the reaction I was expecting. Winta, you don’t have to —”

“Yes, I do,” I interrupt her, backing away from her. “I’ve been avoiding it all day, but I need to stop the rumor mill before it chews him up and spits him out.” I take another step and raise my hand. “Night! Get home safe.”

“Winta,” she pleads, but I’m already speeding away from her, my legs working double time as I cruise down the sidewalk and avoid the clumps of people and animals outside the many bars on this strip. Most of them will close soon, and these people will head home with their pairs or their significant others to sleep it off and start again tomorrow.

I have neither of those. I will go home alone, as always.

As I reach Tori no Kazé, they are closing up for the night. The sign reads CLOSED and Daichi and his staff members are cleaning up in the kitchen. My hand stops just shy of opening the door when I realize Itsuko is sitting like a sentry to the right of the door.

“Oh! You scared me,” I squeak, jumping back. “I didn’t see you there.”

Itsuko chitters at me as she jumps to her feet and circles my legs. Her giant fluffy tail twitches and she leans into me. I know this gesture well from all the cats and dogs I spend time with. My brother likes to joke that foxes are ‘cat software running on dog hardware,’ and I think that nails almost every fox I’ve ever met.

I bend over and scratch her head, down over her shoulders, and back to her rump. She leans in and chitters some more. Ah, she’s a lovable thing, even if she’s caused a commotion several times.

Itsuko looks up at me with her deep, knowing eyes, and her whiskers twitch.

“I thought I’d drop in and talk to Daichi, but he seems busy.” I look past Itsuko through the glass door to the kitchen beyond the dining room, where Daichi is chopping vegetables. He’s probably preparing for the next day’s cooking. “I’ll talk to him some other time.”

That’s right, Winta, you coward. I wring my hands as I watch Daichi sweep the cut vegetables into a storage container. I could slink away now, and he’d never even know I was here.

Itsuko titters a little and jumps up on her hind legs to press the door's open button with her nose. Too late.

The door slides open, and she trots inside, running straight for Daichi. She sits at his feet, and he looks down at her before lifting his eyes and seeing me at the door.

My belly warms at his smile and the way he interacts with Itsuko. I’ve observed that bond so many times in my life and facilitated that connection between so many people. It never ceases to amaze me, this pairing bond between humans and animals on Orihimé. It’s difficult to believe that the Terrans who came here from Earth only two generations ago never had this in their lives.

My heart aches as he wipes off his hands and walks towards the door with Itsuko on his heels. I’m not much of a crier, but tears well in my eyes seeing all the things I’m missing out on — a loving pair, a hot guy, a life.

I sniff up and take a deep breath before the door slides open.

“Hey, Winta,” Daichi says, “looking for a late-night snack? I haven’t put everything away yet.”

“Ah, no,” I say, waving off his generosity. “Thanks. I just had dinner with my sister.”

“Which one?” he teases. “You have so many.”

“Rosa.” I chuckle. “I’m close with my brother and all of my sisters, but she’s always been there for me.” I inhale and let out a deep breath in a rush. “Listen, I think maybe I’m good with all the help I have for the Open House next week. I don’t want you to waste any more of your time on this —”

“It’s not a waste,” he interrupts. “I’m happy to help.” He tilts his head to the side and narrows his eyes. “Unless you don’t want my help.”

Uh oh. This is dangerous territory, Winta.

How do I handle this without hurting his feelings and without giving away that the whole damned town is talking about us? Perhaps he already knows? I don’t think so. He doesn’t seem like the gossipy type.

I turn on a warm smile.

“I think you’ve already been a great help, actually.” I clear my throat, so my voice doesn’t shake. “You introduced me to the restaurant association, and I’ve seen the flyers in more and more windows around the neighborhood.” I point to the flyer in the window of Tori no Kazé.

“I’ve been telling all of my customers to come support the club, too. I think you’ll have quite the turnout.”

My eyes drift over his lips, past his throat, and settle on his strong forearms resting at his side. I wonder if he gives good hugs. Is he a physical guy in a relationship? Does he hold hands or touch the woman he’s with?

I shake my head. Focus, Winta.

“That’s great! And I don’t want to trouble you anymore. You’ve already done a lot for an almost complete stranger.”

His smile is slight and sadness touches his eyes. “You’re not a stranger, Winta. I know your family. Your older sister Suri used to come to the restaurant I worked at all the time when she lived at home.” He shrugs. “She mentioned you quite frequently. Still does. I think she and Erik were here only a week ago.”

Right. Right. Suri knows him. I guess I’m not the stranger I thought I was.

“Oh. Um, still, I think I’ve got the situation handled from here.” I nod once. This interaction just needs to be over already. “You’ve been great, and I don’t want to make any more trouble for you. Thank you so much for all of your help. I don’t think I would have made it this far without you. Truly.” I press my hand to my heart and try to give my most convincing smile.

I’m a terrible liar.

“You’re welcome,” he says, his voice resigned. He takes a step towards me, and he’s close enough that I can feel his warmth through my jacket. Close enough to smell his cologne. Close enough to see the flecks of hazel in his eyes. “Is something going on you want to tell me about?”

I glance left and right, hoping no one is watching. I would rather not give the town busybodies anything else to gossip about.

He looks left and right, too. “Are you… being followed? Are you in danger?”

I laugh, and my voice is tinged with a little hysteria. Just a little. “No. No. Nothing like that.” I clear my throat. “It’s getting late. I should get home.” I step back from him. “I just wanted to drop by and let you know things are going well, and thank you for your help. That’s all.” I bow. “Good night, Daichi. I’ll see you around.”

“I…” he starts, but sighs instead. “Good night, Winta.”

I turn and walk away, but behind me, Daichi says in a low voice, “Follow her and make sure she gets home safe.”

I smile and hold back tears as Itsuko’s footfalls mirror mine all the way to my apartment building’s front door.