Chapter 6

Chapter 6

J -418 lost himself in the kiss, the taste and smell of her filling his senses, her softness pressed against the hard planes of his body. She responded eagerly to him, her small hands reaching up to tangle in his hair as she opened for him. Fuck, she was sweet. She tasted like candy and something undefinable that was uniquely Mattie.

He knew he shouldn’t be kissing her, shouldn’t be taking advantage of her vulnerability, but he was powerless to stop, powerless to resist the intoxicating temptation of her. His hands slid down her back, tracing the curve of her waist and hips, her slim body a perfect fit against him.

Her tongue met his in a passionate duel, the kiss quickly growing more heated. He groaned into her mouth, his cock pressing painfully against his pants. It had been so long since he’d felt anything like this, so long since he’d felt human. The blaze of emotions threatened to consume him, and he surrendered to the flames, giving himself over to the passion that engulfed them both.

He brought his human hand to her small breast, cupping her through her shirt. He could feel her nipple, hard and erect, through the thin fabric. He pinched it gently, rolling it between his fingers, and was rewarded by a gasp of pleasure as she arched into his touch.

They broke apart as she gasped for air, and he drank in the sight of her flushed face and swollen lips. Her face was smudged with dust, her eyes bright, and her curls in wild disarray, and he’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life. The pressure in his body was almost painful, his balls drawn tight with the need for release, but he didn’t dare move. If he did, he knew he would explode right then and there, and he wanted this moment to last forever.

She reached for him again and he willingly lowered his head. The intimacy of the small shelter wrapped around them like a cocoon as the passion between them deepened again. Her small, calloused hands roamed over the planes of his back, sending electric shivers through his body. He tangled his fingers in her wild curly hair, savoring its softness.

A sense of rightness filled him, as if he had finally found where he belonged after years of cold isolation and loneliness. Her body molded perfectly against his own, warm and alive and real. More real than anything else on this strange red planet he now called home.

Their kisses grew more urgent, more demanding. He forgot everything but the feel of her, the scent of her skin, the small sounds of pleasure she made in the back of her throat. He needed to be closer to her, as close as two people could possibly be. His hand slid up under her shirt, her skin impossibly silky as he cupped the small, perfect mound of her breast, his thumb stroking her nipple as his other hand slid lower—

CRASH!

The harsh sound echoed through the shelter, ripping them apart. They stared at each other, chests heaving, still caught in the spell that had flared between them only seconds before, but this time she didn’t return to his arms.

“I… I should see what that was,” she said, her voice unsteady.

She pulled away from him and hurried over to the window to peer out into the darkness, tugging her shirt down as she went.

He knew he should apologize for letting things get so out of hand, but the words stuck in his throat. How could he be sorry for something that felt so right? For something he had wanted for so long without even realizing it?

No, he couldn’t apologize. Not when every fiber of his being ached to pull her back into his arms and forget the world outside existed. Not when kissing her felt like finally coming home.

She turned back to face him, a shy smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

“I can’t see anything.”

“Probably just the wind.” His voice sounded hoarse and he cleared his throat. “Probably just dislodged a rock.”

She nodded then busied herself at the tiny stove, not quite meeting his gaze.

“I hope you’re hungry. Dinner will be ready soon.”

As she worked, he took the opportunity to look more closely at the shelter’s interior. He’d expected it to be as utilitarian as it appeared outside, designed for practicality above all else, but instead it was unexpectedly warm and welcoming.

The walls had been painted a pale shade of pink and filmy white curtains hung on either side of the large window. More curtains framed the bed alcove built into one wall and his cock jerked at the sight of the narrow bed, covered with a bright quilt and a ridiculous number of pillows. A large rug woven from brightly colored strips of cloth softened the floor and he could easily imagine her spending hours working on it. A collection of rocks lined one shelf, each one unique and clearly carefully chosen.

Everywhere he looked, he saw evidence of her presence, her personality. She had taken this cold, impersonal space and transformed it into something warm and inviting. Cozy. Safe.

Like a home.

The realization hit him with a profound sense of longing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a real home. Not just a place to rest his head, but somewhere to belong. Somewhere that felt like his.

“This needs to simmer for a few minutes,” she said, still not looking at him. “I’m just going to take a quick shower.”

He bit back a groan at the thought of her wet and naked, and managed a nod.

“I’ll keep an eye on dinner.”

“Thank you.”

She flashed him a quick smile and this time their eyes met briefly before she hurried into the attached bathroom.

He forced his attention to the bubbling pot on the stove and the tantalizing smell coming from it. Whatever she was making, it smelled incredible. He was stirring the stew when she returned, her brown curls damp and her skin scrubbed free of dust.

She was dressed simply, in loose-fitting pants and a matching tunic, but the outfit showed off her slender form and his mouth went dry at the sight of her.

“It smells good,” he said, his voice barely above a croak.

“I hope it tastes good.” She gave him another shy smile, then hesitated. “Would you like to take a shower as well? You have time.”

He nodded and grabbed a clean outfit from Trojan’s saddlebags before going to take his turn. The bathroom was still filled with steam, her sweet scent perfuming the air. He breathed deeply, his still rampant cock stirring as his imagination took over. He could almost picture her, stepping out of the shower, her small body wet and glistening…

Fuck.

Gritting his teeth, he stripped out of his dusty clothes and climbed into the shower. The water was just short of scalding, the way he usually liked it, but he changed the setting, replacing it with an icy blast, hoping it would cool his ardor. It did not. His cock refused to subside and he finally wrapped his hand around it, bracing his forearm on the shower wall as he stroked himself, hard and fast.

Thoughts of her filled his mind. The feel of her lips against his, the heat of her body as she’d melted against him, the surprisingly soft curves he’d touched so briefly. The need to claim her threatened to overwhelm him as he imagined her beneath him, smiling up at him as he sank into her sweet, tight little body…

The orgasm tore through his body, leaving him shuddering and breathless. He rested his head against the shower wall as the aftershocks wracked his body, his cock finally beginning to soften.

It’s my duty to protect her, not to ravish her , he reminded himself sternly as he dressed again. He would just have to keep his distance. Surely that would be easier now that he’d taken care of his physical needs.

But when he walked out of the bathroom and she looked up and smiled at him, arousal immediately flooded his body again and he knew that there was only one cure for his desire — a cure he could not indulge in.

Dinner was simple, but it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. He had no real need for food to sustain his body, but that didn’t change his enjoyment of the meal. They ate in companionable silence, the quiet broken only by the clink of spoons against ceramic. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d shared a meal with someone like this, in the easy intimacy of a shared space.

After they finished, Mattie poured two cups of hot tea from a battered metal pot. She handed one to him, her fingers brushing his as he took it from her and he shuddered as another wave of desire swept over him.

“Tell me about yourself,” she said, settling back in her chair and eyeing him over the rim of her mug. “I hardly know anything about you.”

He hesitated, uncertain where to begin. His life before becoming a cyborg felt like a distant dream, hazy and half-forgotten, and his life since then wasn’t anything he cared to dwell on. But how could he refuse to answer her after the intimacy they’d shared?

“I was a soldier,” he said at last. “A captain in the Earth Government military forces. When you sign up for the military you agree that if you are fatally wounded they can use your body, that they can transform you into a cyborg. I never thought it would happen to me but I didn’t object. Helping to make Mars a safe place for human colonization seemed like a worthy purpose.”

He stared down into his tea, watching the steam curl upward.

“I didn’t realize what the process would entail. You’re not supposed to remember it, but I do.”

Remembered screaming on the table as he realized what was happening. Remembered the fiery heat of the nanites invading his system and the blaze of agony as they worked to fix his broken body.

She reached across the table and laid her hand over his. “I’m so sorry. That must have been incredibly difficult.”

Her touch was warm and comforting, and he felt something crack open inside his chest, a well of emotion he’d kept buried for so long.

“Jeb,” he said quietly. “My name was Jebediah Reed. But everyone called me Jeb.”

Mattie’s eyes widened slightly.

“Jeb,” she repeated, as if testing the sound of it on her tongue. “It suits you.”

Hearing his name in her voice, seeing the soft smile on her lips as she said it — it felt like a revelation. Like a part of himself he’d thought long dead was suddenly reawakening.

In that moment, J-418 wanted nothing more than to be Jeb again. Not a cyborg soldier or a frontier lawman, but a man. A man who could build a life with Mattie, who could give her the love and companionship she deserved.

But even as the longing filled him, he knew it was an impossible dream. He was no longer fully human, and there was no going back to the man he’d once been.

No matter how much he might wish otherwise, the gulf between them was simply too wide to cross.

She was still studying from across the table, her eyes shimmering with unspoken emotion. Then she rose from her chair, the scrape of wood against the metal floor startling in the heavy silence. She walked over to the wall and dimmed the lights to a soft glow although his enhanced vision meant he could still see clearly. Then she came back to stand before him, close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating from her body. Slowly, as if approaching a skittish animal, she extended her hand.

“It’s late,” she said softly. “Time for bed, Jeb.”

He stared at her outstretched hand, his heart pounding a furious rhythm against his ribs despite his nanites trying to restore the usual even beat. He knew he should refuse, should maintain the careful distance between them. But looking up into her face, seeing the tenderness and invitation in her eyes, he found his resolve crumbling.

Almost of its own accord, his hand lifted to take hers. Her fingers curled around his, her grip strong and sure, and it took him a moment to realize that he’d extended his cybernetic hand and she hadn’t hesitated to take it. With a gentle tug, she urged him to his feet.

She guided him towards the shelter’s tiny sleeping alcove, to the cozy nest he’d studied earlier, still holding fast to his hand, then stopped to look up at him.

“There’s only one bed.”

He opened his mouth to assure her that he didn’t need to sleep, but she kept going.

“But we can share it tonight. If you want.”

His breath caught in his throat. He wanted this, wanted her, with an intensity that shook him to his core. But the rational part of his brain screamed that it was a mistake, that he would only end up hurting them both.

He opened his mouth, poised to voice his protest, but she smiled up at him, her eyes luminous in the dimness, and drew him down onto the narrow bed. She urged him back against the wall, then settled against him with a contented sigh. As he automatically put his arms around her and held her close, he couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to have this, to have her, always.

She fell asleep in his arms, her body nestled against his. He listened to her gentle breathing, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. A peace he hadn’t known for a very long time washed over him.

He held her tight, watching as the storm raged outside, and he vowed to himself that he would never let go.

No matter what happened.