30. ELLIE

ELLIE

Like something out of a damn movie, it starts pouring as we pull up to the Astor’s house. I’m a little terrified that there will be someone with a camera poking around but there’s no time to dwell on that now. Right now, I have to fix this goddamn problem that I’ve caused.

Carleen taps my arm after the car comes to a stop. “Hey, just let them know what’s going on. With how happy you’ve been the past few days, I can’t imagine they won’t hear you out at the very least.” A warm smile slides over her face as she reaches over to give me a side hug. “I’ll keep my phone on. Text me and I’ll be right back here for you if you need me.”

She’s not lying either. She might wait an hour before driving off but at the first sign of distress, she’ll be at my side. We’ve always been close, been there for each other, and this is no different. I’m hoping I won’t need to call her.

I swallow and then nod, rushing up their driveway before Carleen can offer me an umbrella. Rain soaks into my hair and clothes as I hurriedly put in the code. “Wrong code,” the robotic voice says and I growl in frustration as I smack the rain from my eyes, trying to focus on the small silver buttons. I type in the code again, relieved when the latch is undone and I throw the door open to see two men half-dressed in the kitchen.

“I can explain,” falls from my lips several times, Macon’s anger heavy through the room. Savin looks on, hopeful and I just want to melt in between them but I need to let them in on the last secret that’s been hanging between us. Macon says something but I’m barely listening as I try to take a breath and fail, crumpling to the floor.

The Alpha scoops me up in the next second and deposits me on the couch, his gentle touch making me feel even worse for keeping this secret from them. “Tell me they’re his,” he whispers.

I stare into his deep brown eyes and slowly nod. I expect disappointment or rage but I only find happiness and relief. Macon’s gaze drops to my bloated belly clearly seen with my wet shirt plastered to my body. His hands move to sit on my hips, thumbs running along the slight curve of my lower stomach and my breath hitches in my throat beneath his touch.

“I’m sorry,” Macon says. I frown, unsure of what he’s apologizing for. After all, I didn’t tell them I was pregnant and that’s on me. About to say as much, Macon shakes his head. “No, Ellie, I shouldn’t have gotten angry with you. Your reasoning for not telling us is your own and we didn’t know each other when this happened.” He pauses, but his fingers continue to move, caressing and massaging in a way I didn’t know I needed. “Were you going to tell us?”

I bite my bottom lip, trying to find the right words. “No. I… wasn’t sure what to do but I didn’t know if you would be happy or think that I was trying to wedge myself into your lives. It was all too fucking convenient. Mates and then a baby? I can’t trust any of that.” It’s been a while since I’ve thought of myself as just a Beta but social hierarchy tells me that I’m not needed in this space—regardless of how much we all want this.

Savin returns with towels and I can see that he’s trying to weather his excitement. Worse, the way his jaw pulls tight and his brows furrow tells me that he’s also hiding pain. Macon slips the towels from his Omega’s hands before demanding that he sit with a mere look. Savin huffs in annoyance before crawling onto the couch beside me and pressing a light kiss to my cheek.

A shuddering sigh leaves my lips as I melt into the cushions, still holding Macon’s gaze. “Let me speak to something first, sweetheart. I would never believe that you were sitting here right now for my fame or my money. You’ve made it very clear that you are independent and that you don’t want handouts. You also don’t want to be thrust into the public eye as you feel safer in the dark. Besides, you are our mate. We want you here. Now, what can’t you trust, Ellie?” He doesn’t push, doesn’t try to force me to speak. He just wraps a towel around my shoulders and uses another to dry my hair.

Macon doesn’t understand but he wouldn’t as an Alpha. I’m not even entirely sure that Savin would be able to either. I mull through the many different conversations I’ve had in my head before tonight, each one seeming dumber than the last. “I can’t trust my feelings,” I finally blurt out. Macon pulls away and sits fully on the carpet in front of me, tilting his head to the side. “Mate bonds make everything more desirable and with babies in the mix, how can we try this relationship thing without feeling like we need to make it work? It’s physically more comfortable being here with you but does that mean I love you or am I just using my biology?”

I’m saying all the wrong things by the way Macon’s expression falls apart. Savin’s scent has hardened a little, both of them not understanding what I’m trying to say. I grab the towel from my hair, sliding it off to the side to see Savin searching my expression. His brows are furrowed as he scoots a little closer, his hair wild across his shoulders, eyes wide with confusion. “You don’t love us?”

Goddess, my heart is going to break. “No! I mean… fuck. I do, I think. Love is a strong word and I’m not there yet.” I quickly change my tune. “I will get there. That’s where this is going but my brain and my heart aren’t in the same place.”

Macon places a firm hand on my knee, drawing my attention to him. “Having our babies won’t change our feelings, sweetheart. Did you think they would?”

Savin takes one of my hands into his lap, “It’s not that, is it? It’s that you worry our mate bond is forcing us to have feelings, the same way you crave my touch and the way I crave yours.” There it is. The thing I didn’t really want them to hear but the truth, nonetheless.

“I just…”

Macon squeezes my thigh but this time I don’t meet his gaze. I don’t want to see the pain in his eyes or the disappointment in his expression. “Ellie, sweetheart, this right here is a safe space between the three of us. Tell us what you need. I know it’s hard but this won’t work without communication.” His eagerness to push forward seeps through his words while he’s still trying not to overwhelm me.

Do they really want to hear my insecurities or do they want to placate my feelings before they decide it’s not worth it? Do I tell them about my fear that my life will be derailed because I will be put out in public for them to feed on my private life? Savin threads his fingers through mine, bringing them to his lips and holding them there.

It takes me a moment to gather my courage but when I do, I can’t stop the words from coming. ”I need you to prove to me that this, all of this, is more than just biology. That if you two were just men and I was just a woman, you would still love me. No, please, don’t say those three words. I’m not ready. I can’t trust them. Alpha, I want this. But I need to know that without nature pushing us together you would still be right here, asking me to be with you. With both of you. You said I”m more than a Beta, more than just your mate. Prove it.”

My throat constricts as my eyes glaze over with tears, waiting for their dismissal or harsh words. They’ve never once spoken to me like that before and yet I can’t help thinking that that’s what is in my future. After all, I’m just a Beta, right? Without me sitting right here, Macon and Savin would have been fine.

“Look at me, sweetheart. You want us to prove that our love isn’t just the bond, I can’t do that. It’s what brought us together. It’s what snagged my attention but goddess, it’s not what’s keeping me here, wanting you and everything you have to offer.” Macon shifts forward so that he’s on his knees, a few inches taller than me now. One hand rests beside me, the other pinching my chin so that my gaze is locked on his. “However, if you want me to prove that our love will weather anything that comes at us, challenge accepted. I hope you”re ready because you haven”t seen how hard I can love. How bad I want you. How much I crave you. The world wants you to believe that you don”t have a place. But you do. Right here. With us. And if you don”t believe that, then we”re not doing our job.”

Those three words are at the tip of his tongue, hovering between us before Macon leans forward to press his lips to mine. He’s dashed my insecurities, telling me that there’s nothing to worry about. Between him and Savin, I will have everything I need when it comes to figuring out where I belong.

Macon takes his time, kissing me slowly. His tongue swipes along the seam of my lips, drawing a moan from my throat as I cling to him. Seconds later, I feel a second set of lips on my neck, Savin’s sweet scent wrapping around us. The moment is perfect as we sup from each other, needing the closeness. When Macon finally pulls away, Savin drags me into his lap, a wild grin plastered on his face.

“They’re really mine?” He whispers, staring at my belly.

“Yeah, they are.” I grab Savin’s hand and lay it on my stomach. He won’t be able to feel much but it’s his touch that settles me even further. I snuggle into his chest, Macon sitting beside us and dragging my feet onto his lap. He slips off my water-sodden shoes before moving to massage my feet. My back arches in their hold, Savin moving his hand beneath my shirt to caress my belly.

Savin drags his nose along my cheek, leaving his scent in droves. “We always wanted babies but with everything happening, there wasn’t time and we hadn’t found anyone we truly loved enough to bring into our home.” Another moan falls from my lips, Savin chuckling in response. “Feels good?”

“My doctor mentioned that it would be better to be around the father which is why I am still—was confused.”

The Omega pulls me even tighter against his chest. “If anything, it makes me love you more.” The words don’t sound as foreign as I thought they would, neither Savin nor Macon missing a beat as they allow me to draw from their strength. Every fear and worry that I had just flies right out of the window. It’s not perfect and I’ll still have doubts but they’re telling me that none of it matters.

That the bond is in addition to our feelings, not the other way around.

My foot jerks forward when Macon reaches a particularly good spot, the Alpha laughing when my face heats in embarrassment. “We don’t have to take all the steps at once, sweetheart. Whatever you’re comfortable with, we’ll start there.”

“I want to work with this but I can’t lose me.” I struggle to sit up, pulling my feet closer so that I can see them both. “I’ve worked very hard to come this far, for school and my job. They’re things that I enjoy and I don’t want to give them all up because of this. Fuck, that sounds horrible.”

Macon shakes his head. “No, it sounds reasonable. It’d be rude to ask you to drop everything to be with us. However,” he breaks off as I yawn, concern filtering through his features. “just a few questions. Are you sleeping here?”

“I’m staying. My sister dropped me off.”

“I’m glad you didn’t drive. And this last question isn’t something you need to answer now but it is something I want you to think about. You weren’t planning on telling us and I can respect that. I do want to know whatever your plans are, though. I don’t want our desires and our excitement to cloud your decision. Whatever you decide, I want that too.” Macon stands and presses a kiss to my forehead before heading toward the bedrooms.

I don’t know what to do with those words, frowning as I lean back against Savin’s chest. Macon has told me that he sees me and not only that but that the choice is mine. I twist around to look up at Savin, the Omega sitting there, shocked. His hand has fallen to my belly again, rubbing in little circles. It takes him a few minutes to blink and then meet my gaze.

“We’ve always wanted kids, Ellie. Always. But Macon? He’s wanted it more than anything. We looked at adoption and possibly an Omega center where the kid was too young to have been dropped off. Foster care but… for him to not try and push his choice on you?” He winces and then sighs, silently asking me not to call attention to his pain.

So, I focus on what he’s saying instead. “You think he would?” I ask, concerned.

Savin shakes his head, bending down to kiss me softly. “No. He wouldn’t but saying those words and thinking them are two different things. Macon’s fallen for you, angel. So have I. But he’s right. You were thrown headfirst into this and I want to get this right.”

I kiss him back, stringing an arm around his neck. “I want to be a mother, Savin. And…” I huff out a breath. “I want to be yours and Macon’s.” Needing to say the same to the Alpha who just left us, I scramble off Savin’s lap, nearly barrelling into Macon when I turn down the hallway. “I want to be a mother,” I wheeze.

He stares down at me, his hands on my waist steadying my unstable form. “What?”

“You were trying to tell me that my choice is mine. Macon, I want these babies. I want you and Savin. I want-”

“Thank fuck,” he growls as he hoists me up, my legs wrapping around his waist. His lips crash to mine as he demands my submission. A wall soon hits my back and I throw my arms around Macon’s neck, giggling as his touch softens, his grip on my thighs loosening until I feel like a piece of porcelain in his hands.

“Is this happening?” He grunts at my question and I leave a small kiss on his lips. “Then don’t treat me like glass. I’m not fragile.”

“But the babies-”

Savin bursts out laughing from the living room. “That’s not how that works.”

Macon searches my expression before his grip on my thighs tightens again, almost painfully. A moan tears from my throat as I bury my face into his neck, nibbling at the skin there. “Yes, just like that.”