26. ELLIE

ELLIE

The venue isn’t anything like I would have imagined. Movies and magazines had me thinking there would be extravagant decorations in a high-end hotel similar to the party I worked three weeks ago. This eclectic little restaurant is no doubt serving food worth my monthly salary, however, it feels warm and cozy here. I tuck myself behind Savin, trying to give off the air that I work for him rather than that I’m with him.

It feels weird as fuck.

Even more weird when I find out that while my attire fits in, my vibe does not. The piercings draw attention to me and it isn’t until Macon leads us over to a small table in the corner that I can breathe. Macon stands in front of me, blocking out the venue as he stares down at me. His whiskey scent encases me in a cocoon of safety that I didn’t know I needed until just now.

Dancing at Euphoria offers some anonymity, especially as we make our way through the dark or on a stage where the customers are only focusing on the way our bodies move. Here, the lights are on and everyone stares. Unashamedly at that. “Sweetheart, breathe. We can leave if you need to.”

“No, no,” I say, shaking my head even as I start bouncing my leg. The wrap dress I keep in my bag fits a little snug around my waist but the bunchy material keeps me from thinking everyone can see I’m pregnant. It’s impossible, I know but I feel like I’m on display. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting so many people.”

Savin snorts, leaning in. “Most of them are the crew. They won’t pay us any mind unless someone gets really nosy. Otherwise, it’s just a little eating, stupid jokes, and trying not to piss anyone off.”

I let out a deep breath, leaning back against my chair as my anxiety settles. “I don’t understand why you come then, Savin. If this is all for Macon-” Is it just a mate thing? Or a husband thing? Or a famous couple thing?

Macon clicks his tongue and I meet his deep brown eyes again. It takes me a moment to realize why he’s not touching me. Without revealing our new relationship, he can’t do anything that would arouse suspicion. I instantly hate it. “Ellie, we work in two different parts of the industry. This might be for my movie but one of the brands that employs Savin as a model is heavily used in the film. Therefore, Savin’s presence is required if not just for a publicity stunt.”

I accept Macon’s explanation as he throws me a small smile before he moves to Savin, devouring his mouth until I have to stuff my hands between my thighs from watching them. Macon grins against his Omega’s lips, whispering words for just the two of us. “Just giving you two something to dwell on. If you’re good, maybe we can play this evening.” The Alpha pulls back, knowing just what he started and isn’t going to finish until later.

A little whine slips out before I slap a hand over my mouth, Savin chuckling at my less-than-professional behavior. I quickly right myself and force a small smile onto my lips as Macon makes his way to the others. “Does he always do that? In public?” I ask Savin.

He shakes his head. “No. It’s usually worse. There’s usually a bit more touching, occasionally a butt plug-” Savin bites his lip and slowly turns his head to meet my gaze. “Um, yeah, Macon likes toys. You knew that.”

“I haven’t seen either of you pull them out.”

“It’s been a while since I had enough energy to play. You’ve been around for some of the really good days, Ellie.”

I clamp my lips together, hating that what I’ve seen is considered ‘good’. That means there are days that are worse than finding Savin whimpering from pain, curled up in the shower, unable to move. Swallowing a pained sob, I focus on the actors and several other individuals who have to be the crew. I recognize a few but find that I don’t care. I’m sure that Tati and some of the other girls would be fangirling but I’m more comfortable in my small space.

“So, we just sit here? Is there food?” I’m starving, especially since I skipped lunch due to nerves and just overall queasiness. Now, I feel like I can eat a cow. I won’t, however, seeing as that would be unprofessional and I’m sure I would end up on a front page somewhere stuffing my face. Not exactly the way I want to be introduced to the press.

Savin pushes to his feet and gestures for me to do the same. He momentarily holds out his hand and then tucks it behind his back. “I want to touch you, Ellie. Fuck, I’ve been holding back but that would be a scandal that will completely overshadow Aayla’s dirty dealings.” The complication of our new relationship is becoming clearer. I don’t want publicity but being with these two would mean giving up my anonymity. My face falls and he quickly clarifies. “Ellie, no. I mean that if Macon and I don’t declare it together, people will assume that you’re wedging yourself in between us. This is what Macon meant by ‘it’s not all roses’, that there’s constantly people trying to dissect our lives and create an explanation for everything we do.”

I follow on Savin’s heels, weaving in and out of small pods, Savin throwing a muttered hello with a bowed head. He falls into his Omega status well, giving respect where society says it is due. I, on the other hand, am unsure of whether to shake a hand, say hello, or stay quiet so I do the latter, hands clasped in front of me. The less people that memorize my face, the better.

By the time we make our way to the small buffet of food, I snatch up several little mushroom-looking items, Savin giggling as I horde them on a little plate. I glare at him and pick up what looks like a cupcake but I’m sure is some gourmet version of a cloud. “Stop it!” I hiss before stuffing one into my mouth, eager to get back to our table.

Savin steps up to my side, whispering so that only I can hear. “You’re just adorable when you look like a chipmunk.” I have a mind to punch him in the arm but I keep my hands to myself, silently pleading to return to safety. He giggles and places a hand on the small of my back to weave us through the crowd again when someone stops us.

“Savin! It’s been a while!” A Beta not much older than Savin throws out a hand, the Omega clasping it firmly while putting a few inches between us. A shutter of a camera catches me off guard and I cringe before trying to put a smile back on my face. I’ve definitely stepped out of my comfort zone. It’s just so much easier when the lights are off.

“Van, nice to see you.” Savin’s jaw pulls tight and it tells me that it’s exactly the opposite. I immediately despise Van for the way Savin’s scent hardens and his fist tightens at his side. Van seems oblivious or doesn’t care, grinning and starting up a conversation that neither of us have any interest in. Savin leans over to me, speaking out of the side of his mouth. “Second male lead. Show off. Annoying. Won’t stop talking.”

I bite my lip to keep from laughing because Van hasn’t stopped and he hasn’t noticed that we’re not listening. Savin nods a goodbye before pushing me farther into the crowd. Macon is a few feet away and the smile he gives us makes my heart flutter. “How the fuck do you deal with that, Savin? When he’s always looking at you like that?”

“I want to say you get used to it but I usually drag him into a dressing room or demand to go home. He’s… very accommodating.”

My cheeks pink as the image of Macon bending Savin over in a semi-public room flits into my mind. Savin mentioned that Macon had preferences but I had no idea. I huff out a breath to calm my nerves, hoping the growing heat in the pit of my belly disperses. I’m not sure I could pull off the same ‘let’s go home’ as Savin can.

No one pays Savin much mind as we continue walking, the Omega stopping by a table of hand creams in cute gold boxes. “This is what I endorsed. Modeled, whatever.” He picks one up and opens it before holding it up for me to smell. I’m still clutching my mushroom heaven-filled plate to my chest as I lean down before scrunching up my nose. “Yes, it smells like ass but it sells well because my face is on it.”

“Please tell me that you don’t use that.”

“Not even a drop but the commercials like using Omegas to sell the brand to make it more desirable.”

His words have me stumbling over a revelation. “Why aren’t more people scrambling over to speak with you? You’re just as famous as Macon but you walk through everyone like you’re invisible. Except for Van. I don’t like him.”

Savin laughs. “No one likes Van, Ellie but the damn guy can act.” He runs a hand through his hair, observing for a few moments before answering my question. “Even though I’m famous, I’m still an Omega. There’s still prejudice in the business. My face and my presence sell but not me, as an individual. Even my manager, Jace, still speaks to Macon about everything. I’ve gotten used to it and it’s kind of nice not having to constantly shove people away.”

“That seems backward.”

“It’d be different if I wasn’t mated. It was different. People clamoring to bond me or fuck me or whatever million things they wanted to grab a little of my fame. Now that I’m mated and married, there isn’t much interest.”

I can sense Savin no longer wants to talk about it but it hurts a little to hear that he’s ignored. Growing up, I always thought Betas had it worse and I’m seeing more and more that my preconceived notions about designation aren’t entirely correct. “Do you even know what Macon’s movie is about? I researched it a little bit but it’s all secretive and shit.” I chew on my tongue ring, watching as Savin’s attention drops to my lips’ movements and then back to my face. He’s doing a terrible job at keeping his feelings under wraps but fuck, so am I.

“Not really. I haven’t read this script because it isn’t finalized.” He manages a shrug as he replaces the lotion on the table, a shutter making me flinch again. Savin catalogs the movement, tilting his head to the side before stepping closer. I suck in a breath as his berry scent caresses me. “That’s the second time I’ve seen you flinch because of the camera. What’s going on?”

I swallow carefully, shaking my head. “Just, can we go back to our seats?” Savin says nothing as we do just that and I happily munch on the mushroom things and then the cupcake cloud which is just as decadent as it looks. “Stop looking at me like that, Savin. What?”

“You’re uncomfortable here.”

“No, it’s just a lot. Macon said it would be a lot but it’s fine.” It’s not fine. I’m starting to shake, the anxiety of how many things I’ve kept from these two swirling around in my head. “Savin, seriously.” Even as the words leave my mouth, my breath catches in my throat and I choke on the remaining bits of the cupcake cloud. Tears gather in my eyes as I try to breathe, Savin’s eyes going wide beside me.

“Shit.” Just one word but it feels like everything is falling apart, which is a stupid thing to feel since I’m just having a panic attack. Savin pulls me to my feet and down a small hallway inches from our table that leads to the bathrooms. He sits me down on one of the expensive lounges resting across from the bathroom doors before crouching in front of me. “Breathe, Ellie. With me. 1, 2—there you go. Again. In, out. Angel, what’s wrong?”

I freeze at the pet name he’s given me. Savin hasn’t ever called me anything other than my name and I feel like we’ve simultaneously taken a step forward and three steps back. My entire life I’ve prided myself in how strong I am, how well I take care of myself, and how I always put my best foot forward. It’s why I’m currently studying for my second degree and living life the way I enjoy it best.

Now, I’m easy to tears and can’t imagine a life without these two men. I’ve fallen hard and it terrifies me. I have no idea how they’ll react to the information I’m holding back.

Savin rises to sit beside me, wrapping his arms around me, and tucks my head into the crook of his neck. “Rarely anyone comes back here except for staff. They all use the main bathrooms near the front. Macon will probably show up in a few minutes but tell me what is going on.” He reaches up to wipe a tear that has escaped down my cheek, patiently waiting for me to explain.

I stare down at my hands, picking at the skin beneath my nails. “Nathan knows. I—he saw us at the party a month ago and he comes to the club-” Savin’s little growl cuts me off and I burrow myself into his side, ashamed that Nathan’s words bothered me so much.

“What else?”

“The cameras.”

He kisses my forehead, humming a response. “I figured, but why? I would assume you’re used to a little attention from the clubs and private parties.”

“There’s been one outside my apartment and the club I think. It started Friday but I hear it and I can’t tell if it’s in my head or just… someone is watching me.” I pull away and smack at the tears running down my face, standing up just in case someone passes through here. The few moments holding onto Savin have worked wonders for my nerves but I won’t derail their career for a little comfort.

“Ellie? Savin? I saw you two disappear and-”

I throw my hands up as another wave of tears falls down my cheeks. I can’t stop them and I know from my research that this isn’t entirely normal—even for Betas. The hormones shouldn’t be this pronounced and the fact that I’m a crying wreck at my first event just makes me feel worse.

Macon stops a few feet from us, confused and unsure of how to approach. Savin stands, the three of us trying to figure out what happens next. Unable to face them with my last secret, I burst into the bathroom, hoping they won’t follow me in.

Just fucking tell them, you idiot.

I turn on one of the faucets, splashing my face with water several times until I feel like I can breathe again. I’m definitely not cut out for their life and fuck, it just started.