16. ELLIE

ELLIE

The next morning is worse than last night, the ache between my thighs a miserable reminder of the longing in my chest. I scowl at the feeling, vainly trying to rub it out as I grab my phone and scroll through Tati’s worried messages. It’s barely past 6 am and even though my alarm doesn’t go off for another hour, I’m not sure I can go back to sleep.

I’m okay.

Three dots immediately pop up that she’s typing.

No, you aren’t bitch. Call me.

It’s 6 am.

The phone starts ringing and I sigh, knowing that if I don’t pick it up Tati will show up on my doorstep. And there’s enough crazy in this house without inviting Tati into it. “Yeah?”

“I did some research when I got home. This is not going to be easy on you. What are you going to do?”

“Haven’t figured it out yet. I went home and then to bed, like a normal person. I also wanted a few more minutes of sleep before my classes.” I yawn and stretch, throwing the covers off. The chill of my room rushes in, a shiver running down my spine. “I’ll talk to you later.” She hums her response before I hang up. Scrolling through a few more inconsequential messages, I stumble on one from Ms. Astor.

I should really tell her that I’m the wrong person for the job.

But some part of me wants to be in their space—as stupid as that sounds.

She mentioned that I won’t even cross paths with them so this works out just fine.

A little extra cash, some proximity, and then I can figure out what the fuck I’m going to do about a fucking child.

Ms. Astor

Come through this morning. The butler will show you your duties before he has to leave.

There’s no ‘please’ or asking or trying to set up a time. I could message her back to change the time but she doesn’t seem to be an amenable person. I also don’t want to anger her or get Heath in trouble.

I check the time on the message, frowning when it came in at midnight. Did she just assume I was awake?

I’ll be there in a little bit.

Taking a few more moments to myself, I flop back onto the mattress, wondering how I got myself to this point. It’s definitely not where I thought I would be as I sift through all the possibilities. Not telling the Astors will have consequences. But telling them? Macon doesn’t seem like an Alpha that likes to be out of control and my very existence is chaos, a chaos I crave and enjoy.

Would they want to be in the child’s life? Or would they pay me for my silence?

Neither Macon nor Savin seems like the type.

Would they even want the child? Do they want to be fathers?

I’ll give myself two weeks to figure out what I want. That’s the next doctor”s appointment, anyway. At that point, I’ll decide which path my future is headed.

Forty-five minutes later, I’m knocking softly on the Astor’s front door, admiring the sheer massive size of the manicured front yard. The door swings open, the butler standing there as he waves me in. As far as a McMansion goes, this is much smaller than I would have thought. It’s cute and so very homey unlike some of the others I’ve had the opportunity of walking into.

Dark creams and blues wind through the foyer that opens into the kitchen. The layout is completely open, a wide hallway on the left, opposite of the living room, leading to what I assume are bedrooms. My attention returns to the butler, an older Beta that brings a certain light to this home similar to that of a parent. The fact that his aura shines brighter than Ms. Astor”s tells me that Macon and Savin probably share more than just a business relationship.

“Ellie, I presume?” His voice is soft and I stare at him, horrified. With it being so early, there’s no fucking way the Astors aren’t here. I didn’t see a car in the driveway but there’s a garage. “Both of them work during the day but even when they don’t, they’re usually holed up in the office or one of the bedrooms. I think I’ve seen them three times since I started nearly five years ago. I would have been here later to show you around but I’ve had something come up.”

I nod, swallowing nervously as I follow his small steps around the layout. He points out my duties, none of them warranting the kind of pay I’ve been offered, especially when I find that my job really only includes the front of the house. “That’s it?” I whisper. I’m so out of my element, my rational brain telling me to keep my questions to a minimum and get the fuck out of here.

My heart wants me to march down that hall and cuddle up with my mates. Their scents are everywhere in here and it takes shallow breathing to keep me from succumbing to the need coursing through my veins. This is fucking inconvenient.

The butler chuckles. “Ellie, you’re getting paid for your silence. Oh, I know that you signed an NDA but that’s just legal work. The money is an incentive for you to keep your mouth shut. Ms. Astor hires many different people so not one of us ever has the dull picture. There’s another maid for the bedrooms, one that’s been with Macon since he was a child. You will end up stumbling on something that does not belong in the public’s eyes and it’s your job to keep it to yourself. Should you decide otherwise, Ms. Astor will make your life a living hell.”

“Is that what happened with the last girl?”

The Beta frowns and then shakes his head. “No, but it has happened with many of the other staff. Why she took a chance on you, I’m not sure. You’re not usually the type she sends here. Not that it matters. You have your duties. Working hours are between one and five. Some days require the entire block. Others? Just an hour or two. I’d say show up around two or three today and be out by five. There isn”t much to clean.”

“I can do that.”

I say my goodbyes, dashing out to my bike to avoid running into Macon and Savin. Mind reeling, I spend the next hour sifting through my chaotic thoughts. I can hardly focus on my first class, even less when Lewis texts, asking if I’ll pick up a shift. Tati has checked in twice but I just need a moment. By mid-morning, my anxiety is at an all-time high and I decide to burrow myself at home. Unfortunately, I run into my sister when I enter our shared apartment.

She’s resting in the lone recliner facing the door, her face pulled tight into an expression I don’t recognize. I don’t usually catalog her scent but it’s harsh, stale, and unforgiving. Carleen is… angry? No, disappointed is a closer emotion but that doesn’t quite sum up my sister. She sits forward, her legs spread with her elbows planted on her knees, hands folded beneath her chin.

“Sit.” Her Alpha demands that I listen and I scurry to a seat beside her on the couch. “I know that you don’t want to talk to me, that you want to figure this out on your own but I wouldn’t be your sister if I let you do that.”

Guilt tugs at my heartstrings. I share everything with Carleen, well, most of it anyway but I haven’t told her anything about what’s going on. “I have something I need to tell you but I need you not to judge me.” Carleen would never judge me. She’s a friend, a sister, and a protector all in one. “I’m pregnant.”

She snorts. “I figured. Oh, don’t play with me, Ellie. We’ve synced up ever since you graduated high school. And you’ve been so secretive and quiet the past few days. Our house works because I’m the quiet one. You bring much-needed chaos into our space. Also, your scent has sweetened. Not noticeably enough but I know you too well.”

I sag into the cushions, relief washing over me. I didn’t even know how much stress it was causing me to keep details from my sister. “When did you figure it out?”

“A few days ago but I wasn’t going to say anything before you did. I’m assuming it’s them, the reason you came back late that night? Your mates?”

“Yes.”

“Ellie…”

“And… fuck, they’re the job Heath gave me.”

Carleen’s eyebrows rise, her head tilting as she stares at me. She runs her tongue along her top teeth as I fidget with my hands in my lap. “You’re playing with fire, Ellie. Being that close to your mates and yet, not being with them? You’re also pregnant with their child!”

“I don’t want it to be about biology, Leenie. I want to fall in love, not be forced together because the bonds are too hard to ignore.”

My sister reaches forward, stealing one of my hands to hold in hers. “Ellie, listen to me. I’m sure you’ve done your own research and your doctor has helped you understand everything else. Mates exist. That is inevitable. However, the desires of the heart are not based on that. They can be influenced but if you choose to open your heart to them, if you choose to love them, that’s because you choose that. Not biology. You being pregnant may complicate things but you can still choose them or not. The same way they can choose you.”

I huff out a sigh, hating how logical she always is. I may not trust her words but they make sense. “I gave myself two weeks to figure it out. That’s the next doctor’s appointment. I don’t even know what I want to do.”

“Except torture yourself while cleaning their house. I’m not even sure why the fuck you would take that job.”

“I need to be near them, Leenie.” I hang my head, settling on the realization that Dr. Kelly told me yesterday. “Is this a bit masochistic? Probably but it helps and I won’t see them, not while all this is happening. Don’t tell me how stupid this is. I know. I just…”

Carleen squeezes my hand. “Not judging. One last question and then I promise I’ll stop badgering you. Do you want to be a mother?”

My sister is definitely not sugarcoating this shit. I think about it, think about what kind of future that would entail, and instead of finding disappointment or regret, I find longing. Longing for my own family, for the laughter and excitement that my parents brought into the home when we were growing up. In some part, I’ve always wanted that for myself. This isn’t just a child to think about. I’m going to be a mother and as I think the word, I realize it is something I want.

I could have waited a few years before it happened but I don’t want to give up the opportunity. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“Your entire face lit up, Ellie. I love this new journey for you. Know that you have my support every single step of the way, whatever that may entail. We at least know I’ve got the food down pact.” She chuckles and releases my hand as she stands to press a kiss to my forehead. “Now, do you want to keep discussing this? Ice cream and a movie? Alone time?”

Goddess, I don’t deserve my own sister. It’s not even lunchtime but neither of us has any pressing duties. I also know that Carleen’s version of ‘ice cream’ is some kind of artisan shit that will give my mouth an orgasm. “Ice cream and a movie.”

“Great. I’ll grab the ice cream. You find something to watch.”