38. Elody

38ELODY

Max groans, burying his face in his hands.

“Let me guess,” I say from my chair. “It didn’t work. Again.”

“I don’t get it.” Kira aims her flashlight at the keypad, staring at the safe with her Bambi eyes like it just shot her mom or something. “We’ve tried everything.”

Believe me, babe,I want to tell her, I know. It’s been, like, an hour of this crap. We’ve literally tried the number version of every single person’s name, dead ones and Tilly included. Kira and Corinne even went upstairs to go through Aaron’s pockets and his bags. They found his passport, but guess what happened when they typed in his birthday? Here’s a hint: the exact same thing that happened just now, AKA nothing.

Corinne sighs. “Maybe we should try just breaking it.”

She and Kira start to talk pros and cons or whatever it is responsible people do, and I turn to the window and close my eyes. Dig my nails into my thighs. Try to tune them out. Try to breathe.

Except when I close my eyes, all I can see is Aaron’s face as he went down. The big eyes. The shock. And the worst part is that under all that, he just looked hurt. Not in the way where he just got shot, but like I hurt him, the part of him that’s more than his body and blood.

It’s the exact same way Mom looked at me when she died.

I stand up. “Anyone want a drink?”

Kira blinks at me. “I don’t know if this is a good time for that.”

“I’m kind of having a day right now, babe, so I’d love it if you don’t, like, attack my choices.”

Rolling my eyes, I go to the kitchen and crack open a spiked seltzer. Everyone probably thinks I’m an alcoholic or something, but I don’t care. Actually, I think I’m the only person who’s handling this the right way.

I take a long sip, letting the carbonation burn, and look out the window. The storm is letting up now, but it’s still gray outside. In a few hours, it’ll be too dark to see anything. The thought makes me take another long gulp.

Logan groans. “Let’s just break it. What do we have to lose?”

“Fair enough,” Corinne says. “Brute force it is.”

“How should we do it?” Max asks.

“My sister taught me how to unlock stuff with a bobby pin once, if anyone has one.”

I frown at Logan’s suggestion. “Ew. Who uses bobby pins?”

Kira reaches into her pocket and pulls one out, and I have to fight a laugh, because of course she has one, little miss competition-dance Girl Scout. She hands it to Logan, who straightens it out so it’s almost a line. Kira and Corinne shine flashlights on the lock while Logan messes around with the pin, jiggling it around like a criminal. After another couple minutes, she curses and sits back. “Okay, a concept: we throw it off the balcony and hope for the best.”

“I don’t know,” Kira says. “If there’s a phone in there, that might break it.”

Corinne shrugs. “I don’t think we have a better option right now.”

So, we take the safe upstairs. As we pass the second floor, I catch a glimpse of our bedroom door, still shut, and it’s like the echo of the gunshot comes back into my head, bouncing against my brain. I suck in air, gripping the railing.

Max looks back at me. “You okay?”

I give him my best bored smile. “Yeah, babe. Perfect.”

Like he gives a shit.

We take the safe into the third-floor bedroom, where Graham’s body is still behind the closed bathroom door. I try to picture Aaron sneaking through the room, knife in hand, covering up the cameras like some kind of criminal mastermind. He did that. Aaron was a murderer. It should make me feel better, but all I can think of is how sad he looked when he told me why he killed Graham. His whole life seemed so sad, which should make me feel better, too, but I just feel like I might pass out.

God, why did I leave my seltzer downstairs?

“Okay,” Corinne says, out on the balcony. “We ready?”

For a second, we all stand there, looking out at the rest of the island. The rain is light, misting our faces. It’s spooky everywhere, dark but still loud, the waves crashing. I look down at the terrace, and my whole body clenches up. This is how Cole must have felt, standing here. I wonder if he knew what would happen. If he thought about what it would be like to fall.

“Ready,” Kira says, helping Corinne lift the safe. “Three … two … one.”

They throw the safe over the balcony, and it crashes to the ground with a sound that makes me jump, like the pop of a gun. They both lean over the railing. Right away, I can tell from their sad droopy shoulders that it didn’t work.

Corinne steps away from the railing. “It looks kind of dented, but I think it’s still locked.”

“Let’s at least go see,” Kira says. “Maybe we can force it open.”

I don’t think anyone even has the energy to argue with her anymore.

When we get down to the terrace, Kira jogs to the safe.

“Anything?” Max asks.

She shakes her head. “Locked.”

“Shit.” Max stares out at the water, pulling a hand through his hair. “Shit.”

A warm breeze comes through, smelling like the sea, and I close my eyes, wishing the rain felt nicer. But it’s too muggy, almost suffocating.

“So, what now?” I ask Kira, maybe a little too mean, but I don’t care. “Any big ideas, babe?”

She chews on her lip. “I don’t know.”

“Love that. Amazing.” I laugh, sounding more anxious than I want to, but I can’t help it. I thought I was in control. Sure, they all think I’m some scared girl who talked a big game about her mom’s guns and then fell apart the second she had to pull a trigger, but it shouldn’t matter. I’m Elody Hart, and I don’t give a shit what people think about me. Except apparently, I do. Never let them see you weak, Mom said. But I did, and I am. And we’re still stuck here.

Corinne stares at the safe in that weird way of hers, like she’s taking it apart with her eyes.

“We can figure this out,” she says, like everything is just a video game to her. Like we can always just figure it out. “We’re missing something. We just need to look at it the right way.”

Logan gestures angrily at the safe. “We don’t even know if there’s a phone in there. Maybe this is Aaron’s last ‘screw you.’ We open it, and it’s nothing.”

“There’s something in there,” Corinne insists. “We heard it.”

Logan shifts, picking at her nail. “Maybe we shouldn’t be in such a rush to get out of here.”

Max looks at Logan like she just shit-talked some movie that film nerds get horny for.

“Are you serious? We’re stranded on an island with five dead bodies!”

“Yeah, exactly,” Logan says. “How are we going to explain that when someone shows up to save us?”

My stomach flips. I hug my arms around myself, suddenly wishing I’d packed something besides crop tops.

“The cameras,” Kira says, pointing at the ones on top of the house. “We’ll have proof that Aaron did this. Even if he covered the ones on the third floor, there’s still the others.”

“Yeah, exactly. He’s been filming us this whole time. Everything we’ve admitted.” Logan’s stare lands on Max. “Don’t tell me you’re psyched to go back to a world that knows what you did to that girl.”

Max clenches his jaw, silent.

“What about you, Elody?” Logan asks. “You just killed someone.”

A defensive feeling jolts me out of my panic.

“And?” I snap. “It was self-defense. He was going to kill us. You should all be thanking me.”

I wish I felt more convinced. I wish Aaron’s confused face wasn’t flashing through my memory again. The blood coming so fast …

Something crashes behind us, and I spin around, my skin feeling electric, thinking gun. But it’s just the waves slamming against the rocks. The rocks, where McKayleigh’s body is still lying, probably soaked from the storm.

I brush the corner of my eye with my finger, and it comes away smudged with cried-off mascara. I can feel them looking at me, judging me, and suddenly, I don’t want to be anywhere near them.

“Whatever,” I say. “Play with the safe all you want. I’m going swimming.”

“Elody,” Corinne warns, except it’s so half-assed, it’s barely even a warning.

I ignore her and walk to the beach, pulling my shirt over my head, shrugging out of my shorts, and unstrapping my lame fitness watch. I toss them all on the sand, wearing nothing but my bra and underwear now, but I don’t care. I don’t want those clothes on my body anymore. I don’t want to think about the way Aaron looked at me when he was dying, the things he knew about what I’ve done. I just want to breathe. To let the waves drown out all of the thoughts in my head.

When I get to the shore, I turn back. No one’s trying to stop me. Of course not. I could drown, for all they care. The only one who’s looking at me is Corinne, her eyebrows bunched together like she feels bad for me or something. When she realizes I caught her, she glances away.

Whatever. Let her look at me. Let them all look. It’s the only thing I’ve ever been good for anyway.

I walk into the water, letting the waves wash over me. Wishing they would shut up the voice in my head. The one that sounds like Mom. Like she’s laughing all the way from hell.

TRANSCRIPTION: DAY THREE, 7:38 PM

(RECORDING FROM WATCH #6)

[FEET HITTING THE SAND. BREATHING. FOOTSTEPS SLOW DOWN. SILENCE. THEN, A GASP.]

WATCH GOES DEAD AT 7:39 PM.